The Toad on the Paper

Hearing the commotion upstairs, the proprietor hurried over with a miserable expression. "Sir, I'll tell you the truth. After you picked your fish, I had the kitchen cook it right away. But once the chef put it on the plate, he turned his head for just a moment, and it was gone!"

Xu Da said darkly, "What happened? Don't tell me your restaurant is haunted?"

The proprietor went to close the door first, then gave a bitter smile. "It really is haunted. For the past fortnight, dishes have been disappearing from my kitchen every so often. What else could it be but a ghost?"

Wang Qilin asked, "Then why didn't you report it to our Heaven-Listening Bureau?"

The proprietor cupped his hands. "Forgive me, Seventh Master. This may be a small business, but I can afford to lose a few dishes. What I can't afford is word getting out that we're haunted, leaving nobody willing to eat here!"

As the old saying went, a shop had its reputation, just as a person had their shadow.

A person without a shadow would die; a shop without a reputation would close.

Xu Da slapped the table. "Son of a bitch! What ghost dares cause trouble on our Heaven-Listening Bureau's turf? It must be tired of living. Let's deal with it!"

Wang Qilin instinctively went over to the water vat to look at the grass carp.

The grass carp hastily swam on its back.

He felt this had something to do with the fish, but its dull-witted appearance made that seem unlikely.

Xu Da made a circuit of the kitchen and came back with grease around his mouth. "I checked with the Ice Plant Bead in my mouth. There is indeed some yin energy. But I've only heard of ghosts stealing people's vital energy, never dishes. Ghosts don't eat food, so why would one steal it?"

Wang Qilin said, "Ghosts don't eat it, but people do. What if someone is controlling a ghost to steal dishes?"

Xu Da immediately laughed. "Then that person really has no ambition. If he can steal food, he can steal money. Why not find a rich household in town and steal their money? That would be much more worthwhile."

Something stirred in Wang Qilin's mind. He asked the proprietor, "Have you offended anyone lately?"

The proprietor said aggrievedly, "I've always treated people kindly and been careful in my dealings. How would I dare offend anyone?"

Xu Da laughed. "What a joke. You old fellow are as stingy as they come. You might be kind when money isn't involved, but once it is, you'd probably dare offend the Heavenly King himself."

The proprietor looked even more aggrieved. "Sir, as you know, my shop is in a little place out in the countryside. I only make a little money by counting every penny. If I weren't careful, I couldn't keep it open."

"Enough of that," Wang Qilin said. "Let's put off eating. While there's still some yin energy left, we'll put the Ice Plant Beads in our mouths and track it."

An official had to have a sense of responsibility!

Time to light those three fires of a new official!

The Ice Plant Beads grew cool inside the kitchen. Following that sensation, the two pushed open a window, jumped into the alley behind the building, and continued tracking.

They went through two alleys without detecting any trace of a ghost, but they did see several children in ragged clothes sitting on the ground playing with mud.

Seeing the two appear in their jet-black brocade uniforms, the children hurriedly lined up against the wall.

Small, adorable, and well-behaved.

Wang Qilin walked over and stared at them. One little girl opened her mouth and began crying in fright.

"Why are you scaring a child? Hurry up and chase the ghost," Xu Da grumbled disapprovingly. Then he took out a handful of roasted peanuts and shared them around, soon cheering the children up.

Wang Qilin looked at the little girl's chest. "Look here."

Xu Da immediately flew into a rage. "Look, my ass! Soldiers' families and children are absolutely off-limits! Anyone who dares take advantage of them, I'll crush his balls!"

Wang Qilin was so angry he wanted to cleave him in two. "What goes through your head all day? I'm telling you to look at her clothes! What's that stuck to them?"

The little girl wore a patched coarse-hemp tunic covered in dust. Four or five grease stains stood out on her chest. Two ants clung to the largest, and a fly buzzed around it.

Xu Da immediately understood.

Their clothes made it clear that the children came from poor families. How could they have eaten enough rich food to get grease on their chests? And the grease had attracted ants and flies, suggesting there was sugar mixed in, which made it stranger still.

He gave Wang Qilin a meaningful look, then crouched down to share peanuts and play with the children, starting to fish for information.

Once he had shared out the peanuts, the children were no longer afraid of him. By the time they were playing with mud together, they could already chat freely.

Children had no guile. With a few questions, Xu Da learned that these four came from two poor households. Normally, even filling their stomachs with coarse rice was difficult, but over the past few days, they had been enjoying fish and meat.

After they had chatted for a while, the mud began to dry. Xu Da took the opportunity to shake off his hands and prepare to leave.

But the children had taken quite a liking to him and still wanted to play. One boy stood up and said, "Don't go, dark-faced big brother. Let's keep playing with mud."

Xu Da smiled. "We can't play anymore. It's already dry..."

As he spoke, the boy pulled out his equipment and began to pee.

Smile gradually disappearing.AVI.

While peeing, the boy called to him, "You do it too, dark-faced big brother. You have more pee, so we can make more mud."

Wang Qilin went to knock on the door with a smile. Xu Da followed, looking miserable and muttering, "Virgin boy's urine. It wards off evil!"

The dilapidated plank door opened, and a haggard woman asked, "Who are-ah, officers!"

Once she saw their official uniforms clearly, the woman immediately dropped to her knees.

At that, Wang Qilin had an idea of what was going on. "There's no need to be afraid, ma'am. I know you didn't steal the dishes your family has been eating these past few days, so I certainly won't hold you responsible."

The woman kowtowed repeatedly. "Your Honor sees every detail! Your Honor is wise! I truly didn't steal that fish and meat!"

Wang Qilin helped her up. "Don't be afraid. Tell me the whole story."

It was simple. The woman's husband had died fighting the floods at the Subduing Dragon River five years ago, leaving behind two young children and a gravely ill mother. Life was hard, and sometimes they could not even afford medicine for her mother-in-law. All she could do was pray to the immortals and Buddhas to keep her children healthy and her household safe.

Then, about ten days ago, half a braised pig's face had suddenly appeared on a plate on their offering table. After that, another dish would appear every day or two, sometimes chicken or duck, sometimes cooked fish...

"I couldn't bear to eat any myself. I gave it all to my mother-in-law and children. I knew the fish and meat hadn't come honestly, but the children and their grandmother truly needed some fat in their food," the woman said fearfully.

Xu Da asked, "How did you know it hadn't come honestly? You worship the gods, but you don't believe they might answer your prayers?"

The woman said aggrievedly, "I worship the Buddha, and the Buddha doesn't eat meat. It would have made sense if he'd bestowed some money on me, but instead it was all fish and meat. That wasn't right."

"And each time the fish and meat came, there was a sheet of paper too."

The woman brought out the paper. On it was a toad wearing a Daoist robe, its essence captured in just a few strokes.

After looking at it, Wang Qilin asked, "Besides your household, who else has had fine dishes appear?"

The woman gave him a timid glance, so Wang Qilin smiled. "Please rest assured, ma'am. I'm the local Small Seal of the Heaven-Listening Bureau. I seek only to be filled with righteousness and uphold justice for the people. I certainly won't frame anyone."

Somewhat reassured by this, the woman murmured, "I wouldn't dare deceive you, sir. It's been happening to Brother Shiwu's household in the front courtyard too."

Wang Qilin nodded to Xu Da, who went to bring Brother Shiwu over.

Brother Shiwu's surname was Du. He was the eldest of fifteen children in his generation of the family, hardworking and able to endure hardship. In his youth, he had toiled for the family without complaint. But the head of the family was biased, doting on fourteen of the fifteen children and treating him as though he did not matter.

The neighbors had teased him about this, calling him Du Shiwu.

Du Shiwu had done well in his youth, but later his health had broken down, leaving him destitute. Even his wife had run off with someone else.

Seeing their careworn faces, Wang Qilin said, "Don't be afraid, everyone. I won't make trouble for you. On the contrary, I'm going to treat you to a meal."

"Prison food?" Du Shiwu asked.

Wang Qilin smiled. "No, lunch at the Gathering Fragrance Restaurant."

He took the two households' four adults and four children to the restaurant, then ordered several more dishes.

The dishes Wang Qilin added were substantial fare such as chicken, duck, and pig's head meat. As soon as they reached the table, the group tore through them like a whirlwind.

But none of them could compete with Xu Da.

After they had eaten for a while, Wang Qilin took out the picture of the toad in a Daoist robe. Du Shiwu nodded silently.

Whenever dishes appeared on his offering table, there was a picture like this too.

Wang Qilin asked the proprietor, "Have you offended any Daoists?"

The proprietor instinctively shook his head, but the waiter attending them reminded him, "That old Daoist with a limp and a missing arm the other day?"

Wang Qilin looked at the waiter, who gave an awkward smile. "A Daoist came to our door begging for food a few days ago, and our proprietor drove him away."

The proprietor also smiled awkwardly. "That old Daoist was a cripple. Could he actually be an expert?"

Wang Qilin could not be bothered to answer. He merely shook his head. "Proprietor, you've narrowed your own path!"