Returning home in glory

After the meal, Wang Liuwu was thoroughly drunk. He went back, fell into bed, and kept mumbling in his sleep, "This is wonderful. Fucking wonderful."

Wang Qilin settled his father into bed, then stepped outside to see Xu Da blocking Xie Hama's way and backing him against a wall, planting a long, hairy arm beside his head.

He silently returned to his room and pressed his ear to the door.

"Old Daoist, let me ask you something."

"What is it?"

"I've got a good business proposition for you. Heh heh, last time you made a paper figure to deal with the two of us. How did you make it?"

"I didn't make that paper figure to deal with you two. I only wanted to frighten Minor Seal Wang. What, do you want to learn the paper-figure spell?"

"As long as you know how, that's enough. Your paper figures look just like real people, so make a few dozen women, and I'll open a brothel in the county town. We'll team up and make a fortune!"

The air suddenly went quiet.

Wang Qilin poked his head out and saw Xie Hama staring, utterly dumbfounded.

Xu Da looked smug. "Well? You never thought of a business opportunity like that, did you?"

Xie Hama was aghast. "I've traveled north and south, drunk water on the shores of all four seas, and broken a leg atop Mount Kunlun. I've always considered myself an old hand. I thought I'd crossed every mountain and met every scoundrel, but there's always a higher mountain and an even bigger scoundrel. How can a scoundrel like you exist in this world?"

Xu Da was displeased. "No pearls ever come out of that toad mouth of yours. I'm thinking of you here. Don't you want to make money soon and pay back the Gathering Fragrance Restaurant?"

Xie Hama could stand no more. "Would you get lost? Hurry up and get lost!"

Xu Da refused to give up. "It really is a good business. The money would come rolling in."

Xie Hama flung out his hand, and his entire body vanished into the ground.

There was little happening at the Heaven-Listening Bureau, so the next day Wang Qilin hired a horse-drawn carriage to return to his village.

As it happened, he had taken up his post during the Qingming Festival. This trip home was both to visit his family and to pay respects to his ancestors.

He would look into the marriage match while he was there.

If the young lady was pretty, heh heh heh.

Xu Da and Xie Hama wanted to come along.

They wanted to see the young lady too.

They set off in the morning and arrived at noon.

Paifang Township was named after a large chastity memorial arch. Built during the Song Dynasty by the court to honor a widow from the township, it had survived the Mongol Yuan Dynasty and remained standing into the present New Han Dynasty.

Hooves clattered along the road. At the sight of a row of tall buildings and pavilions, Xu Da grew interested. "Hey, Seventh, is that the general's residence?"

Wang Qilin snapped out of his wandering thoughts. "Yes."

Paifang Township had produced a valiant general. When he grew old and retired to his hometown, the court had built him this residence in gratitude for his service to the country.

Xu Da asked, "I heard General Huang has a granddaughter more beautiful than a celestial fairy. Have you come back to meet her for a marriage match?"

Wang Qilin shook his head. "I'm not interested in women right now..."

Xu Da immediately said, "Doesn't General Huang also have a grandson whose looks surpass Pan An's and rival Song Yu's?"

These words frightened Wang Liuwu so badly that he nearly wet himself in the carriage. He hastily lowered his voice. "You mustn't talk nonsense! You mustn't! Strongman Xu, careless talk brings trouble!"

Then he said to Wang Qilin, "I forgot to tell you. This time, you'll be meeting the daughter of Landowner Lu from Lu Family Village."

Xu Da immediately waggled his eyebrows at him.

Xie Hama, who had spent the journey lounging on the carriage roof with his lame leg crossed, asked curiously, "By custom, shouldn't it be enough for you to approve of their daughter, Elder Wang? Marriage is decided by the parents' command and the matchmaker's word, after all."

Wang Liuwu glanced cautiously at his son. "Little Seven has had a mind of his own since childhood. It's best to let him decide something like this himself."

Wang Qilin smiled without speaking.

Because his soul frequently left his body to visit Earth, he had been withdrawn since childhood and was not particularly close to his family. His parents and sisters usually felt rather apprehensive around him and dared not casually make decisions for him.

Great King Village lay less than two li off the township's main road. Seeing a carriage enter the village, the villagers working in the fields all turned to stare.

Some children chased the carriage, singing nursery rhymes, while villagers greeted them when they met them in the street.

Wang Liuwu sat up straight beside the driver. He had been an honest, unassuming man all his life, and remained so even now that his son had become an official.

Things grew lively once they reached home. Learning that Wang Qilin, now an official, had returned, the neighbors all came over to see the excitement.

Xu Da had come to watch the fun, only to become the spectacle himself:

"Look at that dark-faced fellow. He's really sturdy, like an ox."

"Do you think he'd be better than an ox at plowing?"

"With that build, he could eat as much as ten men. One shit from him could feed every dog in the village!"

Wang Liuwu felt proud to be the center of attention among his fellow clansmen in the village.

He took two copper zhu from inside his robe and gave them to the driver as a tip.

He had to keep up appearances.

Looking through the Wang clan's genealogy, their branch had never produced an official since moving to the area.

Wang Qilin's mother, Madam Wang née Lu, and his four unmarried elder sisters hurried out to greet them when they heard the news. Xu Da was surprised. "You've got quite a big family."

Xie Hama said, "More than big. Minor Seal Wang also has two married elder sisters who aren't home, doesn't he?"

Wang Qilin was impressed. "Amazing. You can even divine that?"

Xie Hama said, "Your father mentioned it on the way."

The clan elders and wealthy villagers all came to visit. Madam Wang née Lu laid out the candied fruit and dried nuts they had brought back, then hurried to brew tea. Everyone gathered to drink tea and chat in cheerful harmony.

Wang Qilin watched coldly from the side.

Xie Hama asked, "Why aren't you joining the conversation, Minor Seal Wang?"

Wang Qilin said, "There's nothing to say. Our family used to be poor, with too many children. The villagers treated us like plague gods. Even when paying New Year's visits, they'd go out of their way to avoid us. During the busy farming season, my parents would go help other families, but afterward, not one of them would come help us."

His voice was neither loud nor soft. Everyone who heard him looked embarrassed.

A clan elder coughed. "Little Seven, let bygones be bygones. You're an official now. You should be magnanimous. A prime minister's belly has room to sail a boat, after all."

Xu Da turned around. "There's a saying where I come from: tell others to be magnanimous, and you'll get mounted by a dog."

Several wealthy villagers' expressions changed dramatically. Xu Da struck the wooden stump beside him with his fist, shattering the solid wood into pieces.

Wang Qilin burst out laughing, picked up the pieces, and went into the kitchen. "Mother, I'll help you tend the fire."

A feast that evening was unavoidable, and the family's chickens paid the price. Of the fifteen they had raised, half met their end beneath the knife.

Xu Da was called over to slaughter the chickens. Gripping one by the neck, he pointed its head toward the clan elders and wealthy villagers. "Don't hate me. Remember their faces. They're the ones who want to eat you. If you come looking for revenge later, don't come after me."

The clan elder's hand shook, spilling his tea.

These people could only bully the meek. A thug who ran roughshod over the township could frighten them into silence, while Xu Da scared those township thugs so badly they wished they could retract their dicks into their prostates. Against these villagers, Xu Da practically had bloodline suppression.

It was not just the chickens. They brought out the eggs they had saved, the salted pork they had painstakingly set aside at New Year, and all the crucian carp and grass carp kept in the vat.

Soon, a mouthwatering aroma spread through half the village.

More than ten children clung to the doorway, drooling. Xu Da took dried nuts and snacks out to share with them and, as usual, won their hearts in no time.

An old hen was stewed for soup, young roosters were stir-fried, salted pork was fried with wild greens dried the previous autumn, fresh spring greens were dressed as a cold dish, crucian carp were red-braised, grass carp were braised in master stock, and winter-stored napa cabbage was stir-fried until glistening with lard...

Madam Wang née Lu racked her brains to put together a respectable table of dishes.

Like her husband, she was an honest, unassuming person. Even after using up all the food stored at home, she still felt embarrassed. Wringing her hands, she said, "Things aren't good at home. We can't even put on a proper feast for you. Your father and I aren't much use. Little Seven, you can only rely on yourself."

Wang Qilin counted out forty of the fifty silver zhu he had just received and pressed them into her hands with a smile. "You've already done wonderfully, Mother."

Serving in the Heaven-Listening Bureau meant facing demons, monsters, ghosts, and fiends. It was dangerous work, with no guarantee of surviving the day.

The court therefore treated them very well and paid their salaries in advance. Wang Qilin, for instance, had received both his wandering star salary and his minor seal salary in succession, totaling seventy silver zhu.

Forty silver zhu was the most money Madam Wang née Lu had ever handled in her life. Holding so much money in her rough hands, she was momentarily at a loss.