"Then why didn't I get any!"
Those words carried an undisguised accusation and a trace of... hurt that even he had not noticed?
Yan Qin and Yan Huai were stunned by his sudden question. They exchanged looks, each seeing the same bewilderment and a hint of an ominous "oh no" in the other's eyes.
Right... Madam seemed... never to have mentioned sending any to the young master at all? Never mind sending them-she had not even asked whether he wanted a taste...
Yan Huai reacted quickly. Seeing the young master's expression grow uglier by the moment, he hurriedly plastered on a fawning smile and tried to smooth things over, unaware that he was pouring oil on the fire. "Well... Young Master, you're always so... ahem, so... imposing. Madam is so timid. How would she dare casually ask you anything? Besides, haven't you... always disliked these sickly-sweet pastries? Madam... perhaps she didn't know, or... didn't dare disturb you..."
His voice grew quieter as he spoke, for Chu Moqi's face was already as black as the bottom of a pot, his gaze cold enough to freeze someone to death.
Beside him, Yan Qin wished he could immediately find something to plug that troublemaking mouth. Clenching his back teeth, he squeezed out words only Yan Huai could hear. "Nobody will take you for a mute if you keep quiet!"
Yan Huai also realized he had said the wrong thing. He hurriedly shut his mouth and shrank back.
Chu Moqi's chest heaved violently once. Yan Huai's words had angered him so much that he nearly laughed coldly.
Was he that fierce? He simply... simply couldn't be bothered wasting words! Cui Wan was the one who was too timid, crying at the slightest thing. How had that somehow become his fault for being fierce?
He didn't eat sweet pastries? He... he ate them occasionally! Back when his elder brother was around, the household cook made almond pudding, yam cakes with jujube paste... It wasn't as though he never ate them. Besides, this wasn't about whether he ate them!
She had picked blossoms from the osmanthus tree he and his brother had planted together, made pastries, and handed them out all over the residence. Even those two fellows Yan Qin and Yan Huai had received some, and she had sent his sister-in-law an entire basket...
Yet she had left out him, the rightful owner, and him alone, without even asking! Not even a single "Would you like a taste, Young Master?"
Why was he acting so strangely today? Weren't they just a few lousy pastries? If she hadn't given him any, so be it. He had never cared for such cloying things before! But why... why did his chest feel so clogged? As though something had lodged there, unable to go up or down, stifling him until he could scarcely breathe. It irritated him even more than discovering his incontinence earlier!
Yan Qin and Yan Huai held their breath, cautiously watching Chu Moqi's unpredictable expression. Anger churned in the young master's eyes, seemingly mingled with something else, some complicated, indistinguishable emotion. His fists clenched and loosened on the wheelchair's armrests, loosened and clenched again. He was clearly furious.
Both wished they could disappear on the spot.
Amid that suffocating silence, Chu Moqi suddenly seemed to laugh from sheer fury, or perhaps to question himself. His voice was low and dangerous. "Am I that frightening? That fierce?"
He seemed to be asking Yan Qin and Yan Huai, yet also that little crybaby who did not even dare bring him pastries-and, more than either, himself.
Yan Huai no longer dared respond. He clamped his mouth shut and shook his head desperately. Yan Qin lowered his eyes too, not daring to meet his gaze.
Seeing them like that only left Chu Moqi with nowhere to vent the perverse fire in his chest. He stopped looking at them and abruptly turned his gaze toward the faintly lit window of the main room in the darkness.
She lived right there. What was she doing now? Was she rejoicing that she hadn't sent him pastries and risked displeasing him again? Or... had she never thought of him at all?
That thought frustrated him even more. A powerful urge to do something surged up, only for him to ruthlessly suppress it. What could he do? Charge over and demand to know why she hadn't come to him? Wouldn't that be even more ridiculous!
In the end, all he could do was turn his anger and pent-up frustration on the two "informed parties" before him.
Without another word, he forcefully pushed his wheelchair himself. The wooden wheels grated harshly over the flagstones as he turned and sped toward the bathing room. A corner of the thin blanket lifted in the night breeze, and he yanked it back into place, leaving only a cold, stiff command to crash down on the two men still standing there dumbfounded:
"You two! What are you standing around for? Prepare my bath!"
His retreating silhouette stretched long beneath the moonlight, radiating cold, forbidding anger and a trace of... indescribable loneliness.
Yan Qin and Yan Huai were left staring at each other, still holding their half-eaten osmanthus cakes, utterly at a loss in the night breeze.
"Brother... the young master is... angry, isn't he?" Yan Huai asked quietly, looking miserable.
Yan Qin silently stuffed the rest of his cake into his mouth, chewed hard, swallowed, then raised a hand and unceremoniously smacked the back of Yan Huai's head.
"Obviously! Just eat! You talk too much! Hurry up and follow him! Get ready to help the young master bathe!"
The following afternoon, the sunshine was lovely. Cui Wan emerged from her room, intending to take a walk in the courtyard. She was in a good mood, her steps lighter than usual.
As she was thinking, a clear, low voice, distinctly displeased, suddenly came from behind the study's closed door:
"Cui Wan!"
Cui Wan stiffened all over, her feet instantly rooted to the spot.
Was... was Chu Moqi calling her?
What... what did he want with her? And from his tone... he didn't seem very happy?
Her heart immediately rose into her throat, and the fear that had only just faded a little over the past few days surged back. Biting her lip, she hesitated, but did not dare pretend she had not heard. She could only steel herself and cautiously push the study door open with the lightest touch.
The study was brightly lit. Chu Moqi sat behind the desk, a brush in hand, seemingly writing something. He wore dark teal everyday robes, his hair secured with a jade hairpin, the lines of his profile cold and hard. At the sound of the door, he did not look up, though his brush tip seemed to pause slightly.
Cui Wan timidly edged to a spot a few paces from the desk and stood properly, eyes lowered. "Young Master..." she called softly.
To be honest, hearing that mosquito-faint voice filled with dread brought back Chu Moqi's awkward feelings. He actually... did not like the way she was always so terrified of him.
Yet somehow, by the time the words reached his lips, they had become something else entirely.
He set his brush on the brush rest with a clack, raised his head, and looked at Cui Wan with a dark expression and heavy gaze. He got straight to the point, his tone unfriendly:
"Why were so many blossoms missing from the osmanthus tree in the courtyard yesterday?"
Cui Wan's heart lurched, and her face instantly paled. Oh no! How had she forgotten that! Yesterday, she had been so caught up in happily making and giving out pastries that she had completely forgotten Chu Moqi had planted that osmanthus tree with his late elder brother. Apparently, he treasured it dearly...
Her hands and feet went ice-cold with fright. She stammered an explanation. "I... I picked some... and made... made some osmanthus cakes..." Her voice dwindled, filled with guilt and panic.
She was done for, done for! He would definitely be angry! He would snap at her again!
"I'm sorry... Young Master, I... I forgot... forgot that you and..." She did not dare mention Chu Molei, afraid of touching his reverse scale. "...I truly forgot. I won't dare again. I'll never pick them again..." By the end, tears thickened her voice and her eyes began to redden, as though Chu Moqi might slam the desk and rise in fury the next instant.
Watching her frightened out of her wits, Chu Moqi's brows drew together almost imperceptibly. He hadn't even said anything harsh, and she was crying again? He forcibly suppressed the added displeasure that her words "I forgot" had stirred in his chest. She really had not kept him in mind...
Rather than respond to her apology, Chu Moqi pursued his own question, asking coldly, "Where are the osmanthus cakes?"
Cui Wan froze for a moment, not expecting that question. Sniffling, she answered quietly, "They... they were eaten..."
"Who ate them?!" Chu Moqi's voice abruptly rose, his tone almost accusatory.
Cui Wan trembled at his shout, and her tears finally spilled. Feeling both wronged and frightened, she sobbed, "Everyone... everyone ate them... I shared them with quite a few people in the residence... and sent some to Sister-in-law too... I'm sorry... I... I..."
She cried so hard she could scarcely catch her breath, feeling she had committed a grave mistake and angered him. Recalling those terrifying memories of him gripping her throat made her tremble all over with even greater fear.
Seeing her weeping like pear blossoms drenched in rain, Chu Moqi felt the perverse fire inside burn hotter. Yet mingled with it were even more emotions he himself could not distinguish-was he annoyed that she had picked the blossoms without permission? Angry that she had forgotten the tree's significance? Or... was it because she had shared the pastries with everyone and left out him alone?
That last thought particularly irritated him. Staring at Cui Wan's tear-blurred face, he blurted out almost without thinking, with the anger of being overlooked and a trace of nearly childish competitiveness he had not even noticed:
"Then where are mine?!"
The moment the words left his mouth, the study fell silent.
Even Cui Wan's sobbing stopped abruptly.
She raised her head blankly, tears still clinging to her face, and stared at Chu Moqi in bewilderment, as though she had not understood what he had said.
Chu Moqi froze too. How... how could he have asked something like that?! How humiliating!
Heat instantly rushed to the tips of his ears, and a deeply unnatural flash of embarrassment and vexation crossed his face. To conceal that sudden loss of composure, he immediately looked away, snatched a book from the desk, and opened it at random. He fixed his eyes on its pages as though they contained some peerless secret demanding immediate study, even giving a self-defeating "Mm" in an attempt to make it appear that the book's contents had merely distracted him.
Cui Wan stood stunned for quite a while before her mind slowly caught up.
He... had he just asked... "Where are mine"?
Did he... want osmanthus cakes too?
But... didn't he... dislike sweets? Yan... whichever Yan it was had clearly said so... Besides, he was so fierce. How would she dare ask him...
Cui Wan blinked her still-tearful eyes and cautiously explained in a small, uncertain voice, "But... but Yan... I don't know which one either... said... you... didn't like sweets, Young Master..."
At that, the perverse fire Chu Moqi had only just tamped down flared right back up! He raised his head and glared sharply at Cui Wan.
"Just because they say I don't like them, that means I don't? Can't you ask me yourself?! You didn't say a word to me when you picked the blossoms? And after making the pastries, you didn't even ask whether I wanted any?!"
The words came fast and urgent, carrying obvious anger. Yet listening closely, that anger also seemed to contain a trace of dissatisfaction at being ignored and... a tiny bit of hurt even he had not recognized.
After speaking, he felt vexed with himself again and hurriedly lowered his head, turning another page.
She watched Chu Moqi pretend to read calmly, though the tips of his ears were suspiciously red. That awkward appearance, so determined to save face, seemed a little different from the cold, violent husband she remembered from these past few days.
Cui Wan tilted her head and thought carefully for a while. Then she seemed to understand a little.
Was he... unhappy because she hadn't asked him or saved any for him?
That realization felt a little... novel to Cui Wan, even... a little funny.
He could have simply said so. Why put on that fierce expression and call her to account? It was precisely because she feared being scolded that she hadn't dared ask him...
Had she known he wanted some too, she should have saved him a portion of the prettiest ones yesterday.
At that thought, most of Cui Wan's fear unknowingly melted away, replaced by a subtle feeling of not knowing whether to laugh or cry. Looking at Chu Moqi's deliberately stern profile, she could not help pressing her lips together and secretly letting out the faintest smile.
The smile was slight, like a dragonfly skimming the water, gone in an instant. Yet it did not escape Chu Moqi's sidelong observation.
Chu Moqi was still deeply vexed by his earlier slip when he suddenly glimpsed that fleeting smile at Cui Wan's lips. Instantly, he felt even more unable to save face. He snapped the book shut with a clap, his expression darker than before, his tone fierce:
"Smiling? You know how to smile now? Weren't you crying your eyes out a moment ago?"
His sudden outburst startled Cui Wan, but somehow she was not as frightened this time. Summoning her courage, she said softly but clearly, "Then later... no, just... tomorrow! I'll make you some more tomorrow, Young Master. All right?"
Hearing that made Chu Moqi feel even more embarrassed. Who cared about what she made tomorrow!
"Who wants them!" he immediately retorted stiffly. To demonstrate how little he "wanted them," he picked up the book again and flipped through it at random, though he took in none of the words. He merely waved impatiently. "I want to read. Stop bothering me! Out!"
Seeing him say the opposite of what he meant, awkward to the extreme, Cui Wan found him even funnier. She did not dare laugh aloud and could only hold it in, obediently replying, "Yes, Young Master." Then she turned and quietly withdrew from the study, considerately closing the door from outside.
Once the door closed, Cui Wan stood outside and finally could not help covering her mouth, her shoulders shaking slightly as she laughed soundlessly.
So... he had been angry because he hadn't received any osmanthus cakes.
This man... was truly strange. When he was fierce, he could scare someone to death, but when he was awkward... he was a little... cute?
The following afternoon, autumn sunshine spilled warmly over the covered walkway. Cui Wan stood outside Chu Moqi's study, holding a delicate little porcelain plate. Several freshly steamed osmanthus cakes were neatly arranged on it, golden blossoms dotting the translucent rice cakes and giving off a warm, sweet fragrance. She took a deep breath, summoned her courage, raised a hand, and knocked softly.
Inside the study, Chu Moqi had actually been somewhat distracted ever since lunch, his eyes drifting toward the door from time to time. Yesterday's questioning and promise had left him restless all morning. Now, hearing the knock, his heart stirred slightly with an inexplicable... anticipation. None of it showed on his face, however. He merely glanced toward the door with apparent casualness and answered evenly, "Come in."
The door was gently pushed open a crack. Cui Wan poked her head in first and cautiously examined Chu Moqi's expression. Only after seeing no apparent sign of anger did she enter quietly with the plate.
"Young Master..." Cui Wan called softly. She carefully set the small plate of osmanthus cakes on a corner of Chu Moqi's desk, then stepped back twice and stood with her hands lowered, looking at him eagerly.
Chu Moqi's gaze fell on the plate. The pastries looked even more exquisite than those Yan Qin and Yan Huai had been sneaking last night. They had a soft, lustrous color, evenly scattered blossoms, and a dainty shape. He reached out, picked up the topmost piece, brought it to his mouth, and took a large bite.
Soft, chewy, and delicately sweet, the rice fragrance blended perfectly with the osmanthus. The sweetness was just right, the texture fine. They really were... very good. Much lighter than the cloying pastries the household cook made, they carried a clean, homey flavor.
Who would have thought this little crybaby, besides crying, being frightened, and losing her way, possessed such skill?
He was actually quite satisfied, though his face remained expressionless as he put the remaining half into his mouth and chewed slowly.
Cui Wan had been watching him nervously all along. Seeing him eat, she first felt relieved, then a hint of anticipation rose within her.
But... did he always... take such big bites? An entire osmanthus cake was gone in just two bites...
Chu Moqi swallowed the cake and finally looked up, meeting Cui Wan's bright eyes, filled with anticipation. Something inexplicably caught in his chest. He hurriedly looked away, cleared his throat, and offered an assessment in a tone that sounded bland, even slightly critical:
"Average. A little too sweet and cloying."
He paused, seemingly feeling that "average" alone was insufficient, and added dismissively, "With skills like these, was it worth handing them out all over the residence?"
Those words were rather cutting. Cui Wan's expectant smile instantly froze, and the light in her eyes dimmed. A little disappointment and hurt filled her heart.
Sure enough... Yan Qin and Yan Huai were right. He simply didn't like sweets. Yesterday, so many people in the residence had said they were delicious, and Sister-in-law had praised her too...
Had she guessed wrong? Had Chu Moqi said those things yesterday not because he wanted some, but because... he thought her poor skills and handing them out everywhere had embarrassed him?
That thought made Cui Wan feel even worse. Afraid of displeasing him, she hurried forward a step and reached out to take the plate away...
Unexpectedly, before she could touch it, a slender, slightly pale hand with well-defined knuckles beat her to it, reaching toward the plate and steadily picking up a second osmanthus cake.
Chu Moqi's movement was smooth and natural, as though he had merely done it in passing. His eyes remained fixed on the book spread open on the desk, as though its contents absorbed his entire attention and he merely "happened" to need a pastry as a snack.
Cui Wan's hand stopped in midair as she stared blankly at him taking an unhurried bite.
Huh?
Hadn't he said... they were average, too sweet and cloying?
Why... had he taken another?
Seeing Chu Moqi feign composure while his gaze wandered and the tips of his ears seemed to redden again, Cui Wan's disappointment and hurt instantly vanished like smoke and clouds, replaced by the amusement of sudden understanding.
He... he didn't dislike them at all! He clearly liked eating them! He was just too stubborn to admit it!
That discovery emboldened Cui Wan. She made no further attempt to remove the plate, merely standing quietly to one side with her lips pressed together and amusement returning to her eyes. She watched Chu Moqi read with "complete concentration" while "absentmindedly" finishing the second osmanthus cake, bite by bite.
Then, beneath her smiling gaze, Chu Moqi's fingers reached toward the plate for a third time...
This time, he moved a little faster, picking up the third piece almost in "anger born of embarrassment," stuffing it into his mouth, and chewing forcefully, as though he bore the pastry a grudge.
After eating three pieces in a row, Chu Moqi finally stopped. He lifted the teacup beside him, took a large drink, and waved somewhat impatiently, his tone still stiff. "Enough. I can't eat any more. They're too cloying. Take them away."
Looking at the more-than-half-empty plate before him and his awkward manner-clearly wanting more after eating, yet insisting on appearing "reluctantly obliging" and "unbearably bothered"-Cui Wan felt nothing but amusement and warmth.
Lately... he really did seem to have changed a little. He was still fierce and still wore a cold expression, but... he didn't seem quite so frightening anymore. He was even... a little cute?
That thought emboldened Cui Wan a little further.
She hesitated, but still summoned her courage. Taking advantage of the fact that Chu Moqi's mood did not seem too bad at the moment, she asked softly and tentatively:
"Young Master... from now on... may I... call you 'A-Qi'?"
The moment she spoke, Chu Moqi's hand, just about to lift his tea, abruptly stopped.
A-Qi?
For as long as he could remember, only his parents, elder brother, and later the sister-in-law who married into the family had called him that.
She was just a little girl who had entered his household for no reason, whom he had never treated kindly and had even nearly strangled to death. What gave her the right to call him that?
A complicated emotion welled up in his chest: displeasure at the offense, resistance to what that name represented, and a trace of... a faint flutter even he had not noticed.
He set down his teacup, raised his eyes, and looked sharply at Cui Wan, his voice icy and scrutinizing. "What, are you scheming again?"
His gaze made Cui Wan panic. She instinctively shrank back and hurriedly waved her hands. "N-no! I... I only..." She only wanted to be a little closer to him, to have a more intimate way of addressing him, like his sister-in-law... but she did not dare say it.
Seeing his face turn cold again in an instant, the little courage Cui Wan had just gathered immediately scattered. She lowered her head in vexation and said quietly, "I'm sorry... I... I'll leave..." As she spoke, she reached for the plate with its few remaining pastries.
Just as her fingers were about to touch its rim, Chu Moqi suddenly spoke. His voice was not loud, his tone still cold, stiff, and flat, as though it were only an offhand remark:
"As you like."
Those simple words instantly stopped Cui Wan's movement. She abruptly raised her head and looked at Chu Moqi in disbelief.
As... as she liked? Did that mean... he agreed? He would let her call him "A-Qi"?
Her excessively bright, delighted gaze made Chu Moqi uncomfortable. He immediately turned his face away and picked up his book again, blocking his own view, as though he had not been the one to say those words.
Seeing him like that, Cui Wan felt delight and warmth slowly spread through her heart. She could not help smiling with her lips pressed together, her eyes curving into crescents, as she answered in a light, clear voice:
"All right... A-Qi!"
Then, as though afraid Chu Moqi might change his mind, or afraid she would laugh aloud if she stayed any longer, she quickly picked up the plate, turned with light steps like a happy little rabbit, and ran out of the study, remembering to close the door gently.
The moment the door closed, silence returned to the study.
Chu Moqi sat in his wheelchair, still holding up the book of which he had absorbed nothing, while that clear "A-Qi" seemed to linger in his ears.
He lowered the book and looked toward the door. Only after a long while did he give a soft "hmph," almost inaudible, almost imperceptible...