At those words, Cui Wan froze for a moment. Then a name and a figure sprang almost instantly into her mind.
A-Qi?
Was it him? Did Sister-in-law mean... that A-Qi was waiting for her to return?
The realization made Cui Wan's heart skip a beat. A sweetness mingled with surprise, anticipation, and a trace of uncertainty swiftly spread through her heart.
She looked up at Tang Xiang, a little eager, seeking confirmation. Tang Xiang merely smiled at her without spelling it out, but her gentle eyes were full of encouragement and understanding.
"Go on." Tang Xiang lightly patted the back of her hand.
Cui Wan blushed even harder. She nodded firmly, her voice light. "Mm! Thank you, Sister-in-law!"
She rose almost impatiently, bowed to Tang Xiang once more, then took Qiaoju with her and left the main hall's warm chamber with light steps.
On the way back, even the winter sunlight seemed brighter and warmer than before. Cui Wan walked so quickly that she was almost running. Following behind, Qiaoju could not help reminding her, "Madam, slow down. Mind your step!"
Only then did Cui Wan slow down in embarrassment, constantly guessing, dismissing her guesses, then kindling fresh hope.
Would he be waiting for her? What would he say when he saw her after her coming-of-age ceremony? Would he... think she looked pretty?
Carrying that secret joy and anticipation, Cui Wan returned to the Orchid Courtyard with an almost skipping step.
Yet the Orchid Courtyard was silent. The older serving woman sweeping the courtyard bowed respectfully at the sight of her. Cui Wan swept her gaze rapidly across the courtyard... That familiar figure was nowhere to be seen.
She pressed her lips together, her elation subsiding a little. Had... Sister-in-law only said it casually? Was he... not waiting for her at all?
Seeing her disappointment, Qiaoju comforted her softly. "Madam, perhaps the young master is in the study? It's cold today. He's most likely waiting for you indoors."
Cui Wan's heart stirred with hope again. She looked down at her brand-new dress, then raised a hand to touch the smooth jade hairpin in her hair. Sister-in-law had styled her hair and put the hairpin in for her. She ought to... look a little prettier than usual now, shouldn't she?
She wanted him to see. She wanted to tell him that she had come of age today, and that Sister-in-law had performed the ceremony for her.
Once that thought arose, she could no longer suppress it. Cui Wan drew a deep breath and headed toward the study.
At the study door, she stopped and straightened her clothes and hair before raising her hand to knock gently, a little tentatively.
There was a moment of silence inside before Chu Moqi's slightly low, emotionless voice came through. "Come in."
Cui Wan's heart gave a sudden leap. She immediately pushed open the door and practically bounced inside.
A charcoal brazier burned in the study, filling it with warmth. Chu Moqi sat by the window with a book in his hand, though his gaze did not seem to rest on its pages. Hearing her enter, he looked up.
Sunlight filtered through the paper window, falling softly over the girl who had just entered. Her hibiscus-colored dress made her skin look all the fairer, and the jade hairpin in her hair... was precisely the one he had chosen yesterday. She looked carefully dressed from head to toe, a little of her usual childishness replaced by the fresh beauty and charm of a girl just coming into her own.
Chu Moqi's gaze lingered on her for several breaths. His fingers tightened almost imperceptibly on the pages.
She had come of age... She really did seem... a little different.
But why was she still... bouncing around like a little girl?
That was what he thought, yet his gaze seemed stuck to her, and for a moment he could hardly look away.
"A-Qi!" Standing before the desk, she lowered her head slightly, her cheeks rosy with excitement and a little shyness, her eyes full of glimmering light. "Look! Sister-in-law performed my coming-of-age ceremony! I'm... a grown-up now!"
As she spoke, she deliberately tilted her head so he could see the lustrous, exquisitely carved jade hairpin more clearly. Then, gazing at him with those clear almond-shaped eyes and a small, ingratiating hope, she asked softly, "Am... am I pretty? Sister-in-law gave me this hairpin!"
Looking into her sparkling, expectant eyes and listening to her joyous voice, Chu Moqi's Adam's apple moved almost imperceptibly.
Was she pretty?
Of course... she was.
Much prettier than the little crybaby who was always timid and red-eyed. That jade hairpin really did... suit her.
But how could he admit that?
Chu Moqi forced himself to look away and return his gaze to the pages in his hand. He tried to keep his voice flat and indifferent, even a little critical.
"Passable."
Only... passable?
The smile on Cui Wan's face instantly stiffened, and her bright eyes dimmed a little. She lowered her head in disappointment and murmured, "Oh," her fingers unconsciously twisting the corner of her clothes.
She had thought... he would at least say something nice. Even if only to humor her.
Catching her wilted expression from the corner of his eye, Chu Moqi felt an inexplicable tightening in his chest and grew somewhat irritable. He put down his book and cleared his throat, trying to sound more natural.
"Come a little closer."
Cui Wan looked up, puzzled, but obediently took a few steps forward and stopped before his wheelchair. Bending slightly, she looked at him in confusion. "What is it, A-Qi?"
Chu Moqi said nothing. He reached into a concealed compartment beside his wheelchair and felt around before taking out a long, flat object wrapped in dark brocade.
He unwrapped the brocade, revealing a gem-inlaid ebony sheath.
Cui Wan watched curiously. "What is that?"
Chu Moqi did not answer. With a swish, he simply drew the object from its sheath.
A cold gleam flashed abruptly!
"Ah!" Caught completely off guard, Cui Wan was startled by the sharp, cold light of the suddenly unsheathed blade. She cried out instinctively and stumbled a large step backward, the color draining from her face as terror flooded her eyes.
A... a dagger? What... what was he going to do?
Chu Moqi had not expected such a strong reaction and was momentarily stunned by her excessive fright. Seeing her pale little face and terrified retreat, he panicked and hurriedly drew the dagger back, turning the blade away from her as he explained with clumsy urgency.
"No... this... this is a dagger! I was only showing you! I... I won't hurt you! Don't be afraid!"
In his haste, his words came out jumbled, utterly devoid of their usual cold hardness.
Still shaken, Cui Wan held a hand to her chest, fear lingering in her wide eyes. She cautiously glanced at the dagger in his hand, then at the rare look of panic on his face, and slowly understood.
So... he had not meant to frighten her, much less hurt her.
He had only... wanted to show her?
But why suddenly show her a dagger? It was frightening...
Cui Wan breathed a sigh of relief, but still felt a little aggrieved and confused, her lips unconsciously forming a slight pout.
Only when she seemed unafraid did Chu Moqi recover his composure a little. Looking at her frightened, slightly aggrieved expression, then at the gleaming weapon in his hand, he suddenly felt that... perhaps this birthday present of his... was a little inappropriate.
That fellow Yan Huai was right. She did not even dare catch a chicken. Of course seeing a blade would frighten her.
But... this dagger was clearly beautiful! The gems were bright, the blade was sharp, and his elder brother had left it to him...
He felt somewhat vexed and a little unwilling to concede. Giving up on further explanation, he slid the dagger back into its sheath with a click. Then, with an almost petulant air of casualness, he tossed the sheathed dagger into Cui Wan's arms.
"Here. For you. A birthday present."
Caught off guard, Cui Wan nearly failed to catch it and scrambled to gather it into her arms. It was heavy and held the faint warmth of his palm.
She looked down at the ebony sheath in her arms, inlaid with beautiful gems. Although it had startled her earlier, there was no denying that its workmanship... really was exquisite. The rubies and turquoise gleamed enticingly in the light.
Cui Wan blinked, the grievance in her heart slowly giving way to a strange sweetness. Though giving someone a dagger was odd... it was a birthday present from him!
She carefully drew the dagger a tiny way out of its sheath. Prepared this time, she was no longer afraid. The blade gleamed cold and sharp, the hilt was wrapped in silver wire, and the deep-red gem at its end was particularly dazzling.
"It's quite... pretty," Cui Wan commented softly, the corners of her lips lifting despite herself. Although she had no use for it and did not know how to wield it... he had given it to her.
She sheathed the dagger and held it in her arms, then looked up and gave Chu Moqi a sweet, slightly bashful smile. "Thank you, A-Qi."
Though Chu Moqi was not looking at her, he could feel her gaze on him and hear that soft "thank you." His vexation and reluctance were instantly replaced by a subtle, indescribable sense of satisfaction.
Forcing down the corners of his mouth as they threatened to rise, he maintained his indifferent demeanor and stared into empty space ahead, speaking in a tone that sounded thoroughly impatient.
"Mm. Put it away safely. You may go."
Cui Wan was no longer very afraid of that fierce manner of his. She knew he often only put up a tough front. Holding the dagger, she glanced once more at his seemingly cold profile and obediently answered, "All right."
Then she turned with light steps and bounced out of the study like a happy little bird, thoughtfully closing the door behind her.
Only when he heard the door close did Chu Moqi slowly turn his head to look toward it.
The study fell silent, save for the occasional soft crackle of the charcoal.
He raised a hand, his fingertips unconsciously touching the corner of his mouth.
At some point, it had already curved into a clear, gentle smile.
As night fell, every candle in the Orchid Courtyard's hall was lit, a rare occurrence, their warm glow illuminating that little world.
Several exquisite home-style dishes sat on a round table. Though not lavish, they looked, smelled, and tasted wonderful, and they were all dishes Cui Wan ordinarily enjoyed. Qiaoju had specially spoken to the kitchen and arranged them together with Yan Qin and Yan Huai.
Chu Moqi had not joined the festivities. Cui Wan felt a little sad and disappointed. How she wished he could sit here too, even if he only sat quietly and listened to her talk.
But looking at Yan Qin, Yan Huai, and Qiaoju bustling about, genuinely happy for her, Cui Wan felt she was already very fortunate. She picked up her chopsticks and tasted a little of every dish. They were delicious, and the warm atmosphere dispelled much of the gloom in her heart.
"Madam, you're the most important person today. No matter what, you have to have a drink!" Yan Huai enthusiastically picked up a small white porcelain wine pot and filled the empty cup before Cui Wan. The clear wine flowed into the cup, giving off a faint, sweet, fruity fragrance.
Cui Wan hurriedly waved her hands and said softly, "I... I'm not much of a drinker."
"It's fine!" Yan Huai waved a large hand and laughed. "This is plum wine brewed right here in the residence. It's not strong, just sweet. Try some, Madam. Think of it as fruit cordial!"
Beside her, Qiaoju also urged her with a smile, "Madam, it's your special day. Just have a little sip for good luck."
Cui Wan looked at the clear, bright plum wine in her cup. Its sweet fragrance was indeed tempting. After a moment's hesitation, she finally nodded. "Then... just a little."
She carefully picked up the cup and took a tiny sip. Just as Yan Huai had said, it tasted sweet, carrying the distinctive fresh fragrance of plums, with almost no burning sensation. Her eyes brightened, and she took another small sip.
The atmosphere soon grew lively. Yan Huai was a chatterbox, and with wine in him, he rambled about everything under the sun, making Cui Wan and Qiaoju giggle. Though Yan Qin spoke little, he too wore a relaxed smile and occasionally added a remark or two. Qiaoju busied herself serving Cui Wan food and pouring wine for everyone.
The merriment continued until very late...
In the side room, however, the scene was quite different.
The festivities outside had long since ended, and the night was still. Chu Moqi sat alone in his wheelchair without calling for anyone. Yan Qin and Yan Huai were still cleaning up outside and would not be over for a while.
With his eyes lowered, he placed both hands on his completely insensate legs and began to massage them slowly. From his thighs to his calves, then down to his ankles, he pressed and kneaded every inch of muscle with the pads of his fingers.
Yet no matter how hard he pressed, all he felt beneath his fingertips was softness without the slightest elasticity. His legs lay limp on the wheelchair's footrests, allowing him to move them however he wished without giving the slightest response. He tried using the strength of his arms to help bend and straighten them. His legs rose and fell passively, like two lifeless wooden sticks.
And, lacking movement and nerve control, the muscles had already begun to show signs of wasting.
A familiar, intense sense of disgust and self-loathing wrapped itself around Chu Moqi once more. His hands abruptly stopped, his chest rising and falling slightly as he stared darkly at his useless legs.
In that oppressive silence-
Bang!
The door was suddenly shoved open with force.
Chu Moqi's heart lurched. Almost reflexively, he snatched the thick fleece blanket draped over the chair's back and swiftly covered his legs completely.
He looked up toward the doorway, displeased at the interruption, a trace of gloom still lingering in his eyes.
Cui Wan stood swaying in the doorway, her little face flushed and her eyes unfocused. Her previously neat bun had loosened, and a few stray strands clung to her temples. She still wore the hibiscus-colored dress from earlier, but her outer cloak had vanished somewhere. As she stumbled forward, the smell of wine mingled with the sweet fragrance of plums spread into the room.
Chu Moqi immediately drew his brows tightly together. His expression stern, he spoke with undisguised reproach. "Cui Wan? Have you been drinking?"
"Just a little..."
Cui Wan seemed not to have heard his question clearly. She merely nodded hazily, then, as though she had finally found her target, lurched toward Chu Moqi in his wheelchair with unsteady, stumbling steps!
"Hey!" Chu Moqi exclaimed under his breath, instinctively stretching out both arms to catch the drunken, soft little body crashing into his embrace.
Cui Wan flung herself entirely onto him, her arms naturally winding around his neck, her little head resting against the hollow of his shoulder. Her warm, wine-scented breath brushed his neck.
Chu Moqi instantly stiffened, his heart skipping a beat. He lowered his head to look at the person in his arms. Just then, Cui Wan tilted her face up, her hazy almond-shaped eyes watery as she stared straight at him.
A-Qi... had always been so handsome. His eyebrows were handsome, his eyes were handsome, his nose was handsome, and so was his mouth...
The thought drifted hazily through Cui Wan's mind. Then, looking at the face so close to hers, the face she thought "handsome," she suddenly broke into a foolish smile without warning.
"Heeheehee..."
Her smile was silly and drunken, yet held an utterly unguarded trust and closeness.
Then she leaned closer, her lips almost against his ear, and spoke one word at a time in a heavily nasal yet extraordinarily clear and determined voice.
"A-Qi, I want to... consummate our marriage."
!!!
Chu Moqi went rigid as though struck by lightning! His eyes flew wide as he stared incredulously at the bleary-eyed little drunk in his arms and her shocking declaration. His mind buzzed, then went completely blank.
Con... consummate their marriage?!
Did she know what she was saying?!!
After the tremendous shock came shame and anger that toppled mountains and overturned seas... and a trace of panic that even he had not examined closely. Almost immediately, he wanted to push her off him. Yet the moment his arms moved, Cui Wan seemed to sense it and instead tightened her hold around his neck, even rubbing her little face against the hollow of his neck.
"Cui Wan!" Chu Moqi's voice changed with shock and inexplicable tension. He tried to use his sternest tone to awaken this little girl who was plainly drunk out of her senses. "Do you know what nonsense you're spouting? You're drunk!"
Cui Wan wrinkled her nose at his shouting, seemingly a little aggrieved, but did not release her arms from his neck. She wriggled as though seeking a more comfortable position, one hand fumbling downward and catching the edge of the fleece blanket Chu Moqi had hastily spread over his legs.
"Mm... A-Qi..." she mumbled indistinctly, her voice soft enough to drip water. "Mother said... we have to consummate our marriage..."
She still remembered that before she married, her mother had instructed her to... bear a child soon...
This fool! Once drunk, she really dared... say anything!
Did she understand what consummating a marriage meant?! She probably barely even knew what they would have to do! Utter nonsense!
Besides... A sharp stab pierced Chu Moqi's heart as an acute sense of inferiority and pain seized him fiercely. He... his body had long since lost all sensation below the waist, limp as mud. He could not even control his bladder and bowels, much less anything else...
That realization instantly calmed him. The ripples stirred by her closeness and wild words were swiftly suppressed by cold reality. Looking at Cui Wan's little face, especially rosy and lovely from the wine, he sighed inwardly. He knew there would be no reasoning with this little drunk tonight, nor could he simply frighten her away as he usually did.
"You're still young. You don't understand." Helplessly, with an awkwardness he himself did not notice and... an unfamiliar gentleness, Chu Moqi tried to coax her. "You're drunk and talking nonsense. Be good. Go back and sleep first."
The word "drunk" seemed to touch a nerve in Cui Wan. The moment she heard it, she became displeased, her little mouth forming a pronounced pout.
"I'm not drunk!" she argued. To prove that she was clearheaded and very determined, she released Chu Moqi's neck and shifted backward. Then, before Chu Moqi could react, both her little hands came down hard with a smack on his blanket-covered thighs!
!!!
Chu Moqi went rigid. The slap was not heavy, but the sudden, precisely placed external stimulus made the muscles in his insensate legs twitch in a slight, uncontrollable spasm!
These damned, disobedient legs!
Chu Moqi's expression instantly turned exceedingly ugly, filled with the shame and anger of being affronted, and even more with fury and humiliation at losing control of his own body.
Cui Wan noticed nothing. Using the momentum of that slap, she shakily rose into a kneeling position before Chu Moqi so she could meet his eyes. With both hands braced on his knees, she struggled to straighten her little body, lifting her flushed face and looking directly into his eyes with a hazy yet extraordinarily earnest gaze as she declared, one word at a time:
"I'm already fifteen! I'm not little anymore!"
Chu Moqi nearly laughed in exasperation. Fifteen? Not little anymore? Did this little crybaby know what she was saying? And she had even slapped his legs... Forget it. There was no point arguing with a little girl too drunk to tell east from west.
But... fifteen... really did seem not all that young. When he was fifteen, he had already followed his father and elder brother onto the battlefield, scrambling through the wind and sand of the borderlands, and had even earned considerable military merit...
Seeing Chu Moqi merely staring at her without speaking, looking almost a little... disdainful, Cui Wan grew even angrier. Her little brows drew tightly together as she seemed to think very hard about how to persuade him.
She thought for so long that Chu Moqi wondered whether she was about to fall asleep. Then her eyes suddenly lit up, and she leaned close to him, asking in an extremely earnest, solemn tone that even held a hint of "seeking instruction":
"Uncle Moqi," she enunciated slowly and clearly, "is fifteen... not grown-up?"
Uncle! Moqi!
That address hammered fiercely against Chu Moqi's forehead, knocking stars into his vision and setting anger ablaze in his heart!
What had she called him? Uncle! Did she think he was that old? Old enough to be her uncle!
Chu Moqi's face instantly went black as the bottom of a pot, his brows twisting into a tight knot. A frighteningly oppressive air radiated from him, and he was just about to erupt.
Yet looking at Cui Wan's drunken, bleary-eyed, foolish expression, so very earnest in her "quest for knowledge," most of his anger inexplicably drained away. He even felt a little like laughing.
Keeping his face stern, he struggled to maintain his dignity, yet argued with an almost childish insistence he did not recognize himself. "You! I'm only five or six years older than you! How does that make me your uncle!"
Unexpectedly, rather than realizing her mistake, Cui Wan seemed to have heard something amusing and broke into giggles, her voice soft and sweet, full of drunken silliness.
She shook her head, her gaze drifting, and summed things up in a leisurely tone infuriating enough to kill:
"It's not that A-Qi is too old..." She paused and gave a tiny drunken hiccup, then complained hazily, "It's... that Wanwan is too little..."
After saying that, she seemed to have exhausted the last of her strength. Her body went limp, her head tilted, and she slumped straight onto Chu Moqi's lap, just like that... falling asleep.
The soft, even sound of her breathing soon followed.
Chu Moqi sat rigidly in his wheelchair, a heavy, warm little drunk smelling of alcohol sprawled across his lap. He lowered his head and looked at Cui Wan's unguarded sleeping face. Her long eyelashes lay over her eyelids like little fans, her cheeks were rosy, and her lips were slightly pursed as she slept soundly.
He was simply... both angry and amused, with an indescribable feeling lodged in his heart, sour and astringent yet a little soft.
Uncle Moqi?
He raised a hand and rubbed his temple rather helplessly. In the end, all his emotions dissolved into an extremely soft sigh, tinged with helplessness and a trace of indulgence.
Forget it... why take issue with a little drunk...