Qin Mubai's icy gaze fell on his face, Bai Yanxiu's words caught in his throat.
Qin Mubai coldly withdrew his gaze and pushed open the tightly closed door.
Bai Yanxiu was about to follow when, with a loud "bang," the door nearly slammed into his face.
The door is closed.
No one had moved from the room; everything remained exactly as it was originally arranged.
There were Violent Bear building blocks on the bedside table, thousands of small parts, Nan Qing had spent several days assembling.
The bed was tidy, but the blankets were pushed to one side, as if someone had just woken up, and the foot of the bed was a little messy.
There was a compass on the table, along with a few miscellaneous game-related items.
The curtains were drawn tightly shut, and warm yellow light enveloped the entire room. Qin Mubai was momentarily stunned and dared not look closely any further.
He subconsciously pulled open the drawer, and what he saw were opened disinfectant cotton balls and band-aids. The band-aids were made of a non-waterproof material and had those fancy patterns that he would like printed on them.
Are you injured?
Qin Mubai's pupils contracted, and his brows furrowed.
Who hit him?
When was he injured? Why didn't he tell me?
The room was quiet; no one would ever give him an answer again.
The drawer was a bit messy: a bracelet I'd given him for his birthday, a photobook from when he first entered the industry, several old black pens, his favorite mechanical watch, a spare charging cable for his phone...
The plush toys I won from the claw machine are displayed in the shop window, along with the gifts I gave him every year. Empty red envelopes are stacked one on top of another, with the strong, vigorous handwriting recording the years they've spent together.
Qin Mubai is not a parent who disrespects children's privacy.
He never went through Nan Qing's room.
Except for this time.
The strawberry hair clip that Bai Yanxiu used to braid his hair, the silver-gray handkerchief with a Q tattoo that Qin Mubai habitually wore, and the diamond cufflinks that he had dropped were all carefully stored in a small box.
Even the ruler that had once hit him, he had secretly taken and hidden in his room at some point.
It's in a very hidden place, in the compartment between two cabinets; you can't find it unless you reach in and touch it.
The ruler, now quite old, bears the marks of time and looks worn.
He still remembered how, after their cold war ended and they made up, Nan Qing showed him her fair and delicate palm.
A red mark in the middle was particularly glaring.
He seemed somewhat aggrieved, looking at him with teary eyes, and was being quite unreasonable.
"I can't even clench my fists at lunchtime because people laugh at me, saying I look like I have polio. Can you help me teach them a lesson?"
"It hurts so much, it hurts so much, Qin Mubai, how cruel you are..."
Don't you like me anymore?
Seemingly afraid of receiving an answer she didn't want to hear, Nan Qing pursed her lips and turned her face away immediately after asking the question.
Finally, after Qin Mubai hugged and comforted him as usual, wiping away his tears, the other man lowered his eyes and spoke very softly.
" Qin Mubai, will you hate me?"
"Won't."
"You won't hate me even if I do something wrong?"
"Won't."
"What if I were really, really bad? Even worse than I am now, always making you angry and bullying others, then everyone would hate me. Wouldn't you hate me like they do?"
"Won't."
"All right--"
He seemed to finally cheer up a little, raising his round eyes to observe him, his voice clear and crisp.
" Qin Mubai, you're my favorite."
Of all people, you're my absolute favorite!
He wrapped his arms around his neck, his voice clear and crisp on a midsummer night, speaking some distant nonsense.
"I had a nightmare last night. I dreamt I was living in a strange place, and my parents were always arguing. They've argued in front of me many times. They don't like me and always ignore me. But thankfully, they got divorced later..."
"Oh dear, thank goodness it was just a dream so I wasn't sad. Then I became an unwanted child! They both abandoned me and gave me lots and lots of money. Later, I even filmed commercials and became a big star, and then I woke up..."
"When I woke up and opened my eyes, I saw you sitting by my bed, holding my hand and pointing at the spot where you had hit me."
"It didn't hurt much, but it was a bit embarrassing."
"Then will you not want me, Qin Mubai-- "
He looked nervous, calling his name in a drawn-out tone, his bright eyes blinking.
"Just like my parents in my dreams, they just casually abandoned me."
"Won't."
"Alright, since you answered so sincerely, I'll reluctantly believe you!"
He generously withdrew his hand and gently blew on it.
"So be it, I'll just have to take the beating."
"You can hit me if you want, Qin Mubai, it must be because I made a mistake!"
"But please don't leave me!"
"Don't always ignore me, and don't look at me with that dark face like before. I'm really a little scared... Qin Mubai, if I make a mistake, just tell me. It's okay if you hit me..."
Please, please don't just leave me without a word!
The last notes in my memory gradually faded. A tall figure sitting by the bed covered his face, and large tears slid down his fingers, falling silently into the darkness.
The drops seeped into the carpet beside the bed, creating large patches of dark color.
The man with the stern face nearly choked up, clutching the ruler that bore the marks of time.
It collapsed without a sound.
-
With a "snap," a strange sound came from the spot where he had pulled out the ruler.
Qin Mubai reached inside and pulled out a notebook.
Perhaps it was a diary; the handwriting was messy, and the content was very brief.
" Qin Mubai has been so busy lately, he hasn't taken me out to play at all."
" Bai Yanxiu acts like a delusional teenager. I overheard him bragging to others on the phone again. When will he ever realize that people buy his paintings not because they appreciate him, but to curry favor with the Bai Family?"
" Qin Mubai is celebrating his birthday, but he's working overtime."
"That persistent, lingering White Lotus is so annoying."
" Qin Mubai seems to be avoiding me. I don't understand."
" Qin Mubai is going abroad!!! Will I ever see him again???"
" White Lotus, so annoying."
"The entertainment industry is tough. I got criticized again. I'll just have to bear with it."
"It felt so good to give that White Lotus a piece of my mind!"
Why does Qin Mubai always ignore me?
"Qin Mubai, Qin Mubai..."
"I got scolded by the director, and I miss Qin Mubai."
"I bumped into Huo Yuzhou. What a grand entrance!"
Why is Qin Mubai always so busy? He doesn't even reply to messages. Is he really busy with serious work?
"I got into a fight with that 'White Lotus' guy, but I was careful not to hit his face. I'm awarding myself the 'Most Dedicated' Award!"
" Qin Mubai seems to dislike me /crying face"
"I ran into Huo Yuzhou again. He glared at me. What a stingy guy!"
"One more month..."
Qin Mubai ignored me today too.
Qin Mubai ignored me.
"I have a bad feeling, is he sick?"
"Bother"
"Bother"
"Bother"
In the following days, there was only a single, simple word, and the handwriting became increasingly illegible.
Turn to the last page; the content is very long.
It was written on and then repeatedly erased until the background color was no longer visible.
After a few dark lines, a sentence emerged, its power penetrating the paper:
He doesn't want me anymore.