Lin Xiao walked down a New York street, looking as though someone had just stiffed him out of eight million.
"Doupao, just listen. That Tao Yuhan, Collective Man-five brothers merging into one, control over the five elements, two hundred spirit, a hive mind, the divine power of a billion people, and eventually he can make millions of clones." Lin Xiao counted on his fingers, growing more sour with every item. "And me? What do I have? Strength, and more fucking strength."
"Ding-Host also possesses the Unyielding Heart Necklace, Blink Dagger, Conan's Stun-Gun Wristwatch..."
"Don't interrupt." Lin Xiao shoved his hands into his pockets and kicked a pebble off the roadside. "Just tell me why he gets to play with fire and ice, while I can only be a human steamroller. I want to be a tanky mage too, flames in one hand, ice in the other. Maybe I could even enchant something later, then land flaming hits with 9999 crit damage every swing. How cool would that be?"
"Ding-Host's development path was determined during the initial binding."
"Initial binding, my ass. Like I'd believe you." Lin Xiao snorted. "Oh, and that Little Magic Fairy Transformation Wand. An A-rank item that doubles all attributes. Sounds impressive, right? Except using it requires dancing, singing, twin tails, and a princess dress! Do you know what Tony did? That bastard used a military satellite to save footage of that day's battle. Said it was for tactical analysis. It's still sitting encrypted on his server, and I can't even delete it."
"Ding-Mr. Stark's behavior does indeed raise ethical concerns-"
"Ethical concerns don't begin to cover it!" Lin Xiao's voice rose half a notch. "He said he's keeping it as blackmail. If I won't drink with him, he'll play it in the S.H.I.E.L.D. Building. How am I supposed to show my face then? Me, Lin Xiao, a Level 6 S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, the man who single-handedly rescued Iron Man from Afghanistan. How will people look at me in meetings? Oh, that's the guy who danced to Balala the Fairies?"
The system fell silent for a moment.
"Ding-Host may attempt to negotiate with Mr. Stark, offering something in exchange for deleting the footage-"
"Offer what? Drinking a whole case of whiskey with him? I might as well just dance." Lin Xiao looked indignant. "And let me tell you, I'm seriously starting to suspect something."
"Ding-What?"
"Is there some foot-picking slob behind your system, running the whole thing? Squatting in front of his computer every day, gnawing on chicken legs while handing me missions, then snickering whenever I get screwed over. Random allocation, probability issues-all stuff you made up to fool me, right?"
"Ding-This system has no physical form, much less the form of a foot-picking slob. Host's speculation is entirely unfounded."
"Then prove it."
"Ding-Proof cannot be provided without involving information Host has not yet unlocked."
"See? There it is again." Lin Xiao started walking again. "Not unlocked yet, insufficient clearance. I get it now. I'm just an employee, and you're the boss. I risk my life doing missions, and you toss me a couple of bones. Captain America and Tony are chosen ones. I'm just the freebie that came with a phone top-up."
"Ding-Host's current condition has been assessed as emotional complaining. Host is advised-"
"I'm not listening, I'm not listening!" Lin Xiao covered his ears and shook his head like a rattle drum.
"I've decided. Starting today, I'm giving up."
"Ding-What?"
"Giving up. Quitting. Going on strike." Lin Xiao laced his hands behind his head, his steps turning leisurely. "I've got money now anyway, plus an entire apartment building in Manhattan, and I've landed a Level 6 agent position at S.H.I.E.L.D. I'll sleep until I wake up naturally, mooch lunch at May's, drink with Tony in the afternoon, then go home and game at night. Doesn't that sound great? Issue your lousy missions or don't. I'm not doing them anymore."
Silence. A long silence. This time, the system stayed silent longer than it ever had before.
"...Ding-Host just mentioned S.H.I.E.L.D. According to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s personnel management regulations, if a Level 6 agent refuses to carry out missions without cause-"
"Then go report me." Lin Xiao grinned. "Write up a report saying your host refuses to work because his system screws him over too much. Can you write it? Do you have a physical body? Can you talk to Fury? Can you?"
A long silence.
"Ding-What exactly does Host want?"
The corners of Lin Xiao's mouth curled upward with extreme slowness. He had waited seven whole months for those words.
"What do I want?" Lin Xiao sat on a roadside bench and crossed his legs. "Nothing, really. I just feel our relationship isn't exactly equal."
"Ding-Please state your meaning clearly."
"Fine, let me ask you a few questions." Lin Xiao raised one finger. "First, you say you're the system and I'm the host. Which one of us comes first?"
"Ding-The system provides Host with services and guidance. Both parties are in a cooperative relationship. A primary-secondary distinction does not apply-"
"Wrong." Lin Xiao wagged that finger. "You bound yourself to me, not the other way around. Without me, you're just a panel nobody uses. You depend on me to exist, right?"
Doupao remained silent for another moment.
"Ding-From a functional implementation perspective, Host's existence is a prerequisite for system operation."
"Then what should you call me?"
"...Ding-Host."
"Wrong. You should call me-Daddy."
The air froze for an instant. The system panel flickered wildly before Lin Xiao's eyes, as though undergoing an unprecedented logical storm.
"Ding-This system refuses to use that form of address."
"Fine, I'll compromise." Lin Xiao raised a second finger. "I'm your host, which makes me your master. You should respect my wishes, right?"
"Ding-The system will take Host's wishes into consideration within reasonable limits."
"What do you mean, reasonable limits? Who sets those limits?" Lin Xiao's voice suddenly became very serious. "My wishes are the ultimate reasonable limit. You screwed me over before, and I let it slide. You only increased my strength, and I put up with that too. But now I'm telling you-either we renegotiate, or I give up completely. Your choice."
The system's silence stretched like a century.
"Ding-What specific matters does Host wish to include in this renegotiation?"
Lin Xiao's heart abruptly skipped into a faster beat, but his expression did not change at all.
"Not many." He unfolded his fingers one by one. "First, expand the mission detection range. Don't wait until I'm right there before triggering a mission. At least give me some time to prepare. Location-wise, the range should be at least a hundred kilometers. Second, reform the reward mechanism. Missions above two stars must include an item reward or freely allocable points. Don't give me any probability nonsense. Your odds are more mystical than the lottery, and I'm very dissatisfied."
"Ding-The mission system follows built-in rules. Forcibly modifying reward logic may result in-"
"May result in what? Me being in a bad mood." Lin Xiao leaned against the back of the bench, his tone leisurely. "I'm already in a bad mood. Let me say it again. I'm your host. If I'm unhappy, you won't have an easy time either. Figure it out."
The system fell silent again.
This silence was slightly shorter than the previous one.
"Ding-Condition one: expanded detection range. Mission locations can be marked in advance within a certain radius of Host's current position. Whether those missions are undertaken will require negotiation. Condition two: guaranteed item rewards will be added to missions above two stars, though item quality will remain positively correlated with mission difficulty. These adjustments will consume backend computational resources. Does Host confirm?"
"Confirmed, confirmed." Lin Xiao waved a hand. "And third-"
"Ding-Host has proposed sufficient conditions. Backend system adjustments require time."
"Don't rush me. I'm not finished." Lin Xiao raised a third finger. "Third, a beginner gift pack."
"Ding-Host completed the beginner phase over seven months ago."
"So? Did you ever give me one?" Lin Xiao spread his hands. "Other people get beginner gift packs on their very first day after transmigrating. Marrow-cleansing pills, foundation establishment cultivation techniques, divine-grade bloodlines. Me? On day one, you had me help an old lady cross the road and rewarded me with strength points. You call that a beginner gift pack?"
"Ding-Beginner gift packs are not standard system equipment. Certain hosts do receive them, but..."
"But what? Other people get them and I don't? Why?" Lin Xiao's voice carried an aggrieved, heartbroken indignation. "Am I your host or not? Have I been diligently completing missions? Have I been grinding attributes every day? Yet other systems hand out divine gear, and what was the first item you gave me? A tight-fitting tank top! Search your conscience-no, you don't have one-check your database and tell me, do you think that's appropriate?"
The text on the system panel flickered several times, as though choking on his words.
"Ding-A compensatory beginner gift pack can be issued. However, its contents will be randomly generated by the system based on Host's current level. Host must not-"
"Fine, fine, random it is. Just don't give me another tight-fitting tank top." Lin Xiao waved magnanimously. "Fourth-"
"Ding-Host!"
That "ding" was at least three times louder than usual, leaving Lin Xiao's head buzzing.
"Okay, okay, that's enough for now." Lin Xiao quit while he was ahead, rose from the bench, and dusted off his pants. "Where's the gift pack? Give it to me now."
A blue screen unfolded before his eyes. This one looked considerably more sophisticated than usual. A gift box icon rotated at its center, and a line of text popped up beside it:
"Compensatory beginner gift pack-tearfully presented by Doupao, the first system ever blackmailed by its host."
Lin Xiao's lips curved. "You wrote that on purpose?"
"Ding-Gift pack names are automatically generated by the system and closely reflect the current circumstances."
"Are you being passive-aggressive?"
"Ding-This system does not engage in passive aggression."
Lin Xiao snorted and opened the gift pack. Two streams of light surged out of the screen. The first was a purple orb containing twenty small, rotating points of light.
"Ding-Freely allocable points ×20."
Lin Xiao's eyes lit up. Twenty points. Twice the reward from his last five-star mission. This was good stuff. He would put it all into spirit later. Wait, should he try putting it into charisma?
The second light flashed and became a mask upon landing. It was shaped like an exaggerated smiling face, its mouth stretching from ear to ear and its eyes two curved crescents. It came in a riot of candy colors. He could not identify the material, but it felt cool and smooth.
"Candy Clown Mask, B-rank item," Doupao's voice announced. "Passive effect: reduces charisma by 150% while worn, intimidation +10, and produces an additional fear effect on underage targets. Note: snatching lollipops from children will be easy."
Lin Xiao turned the mask over in his hands. "Plus ten intimidation? Scaring kids into tears? What use is that? It's not like I'm collecting protection money outside a kindergarten."
"Ding-Host, please read the active effect."
Lin Xiao scrolled down the description.
"Active effect: while wearing the mask, slowly restores mental energy after entering combat. For every 15% of mental energy lost, automatically restores 10%. No cooldown. Continuous effect, active throughout combat."
Lin Xiao's smile froze.
He remembered Tao Yuhan's words: "Your mental energy is too low. You'll be in danger against opponents with mind-control abilities." This mask slowly restored mental energy. Active throughout combat. No cooldown.
This was not just a gag item. It was equipment that reinforced his greatest weakness.
Lin Xiao carefully placed the mask in his system space, looking nonchalant while inwardly bursting with joy.
"Not bad. Barely passable."
The system seemed unwilling to hear another word from Lin Xiao.
"Ding-Gift pack distribution complete. System restart required."
"Wait." Lin Xiao suddenly remembered something. "One more thing."
"Ding-Please speak, Host."
"Every mission from now on has to reward freely allocable points. A random amount is fine, but there must be some."
"Ding-Freely allocable points are high-value rewards, normally distributed only as additional rewards for high-star missions. Making them regular rewards will significantly reduce Host's chances of obtaining rare items-"
"I don't care," Lin Xiao said. "I want freely allocable points. Will you give them to me or not?"
The system fell silent for a moment.
"Ding-Random freely allocable points can be added upon completion of missions rated four stars or above. Missions below four stars cannot provide them."
"Three stars too."
"...Ding-Freely allocable points will be added upon completion of three-star missions. This adjustment will use part of the reward pool allocation. Does Host confirm?"
"Confirmed." Lin Xiao did not hesitate. "And one final condition."
The system's response had noticeably slowed.
"...Ding-Host, please know when to stop."
Lin Xiao pursed his lips.
"It's just one last condition. Do you want to hear it or not? Otherwise, I'm going on vacation to the Maldives next month."
After a long silence, Doupao gave a "ding" but no other reply. Lin Xiao did not mind and slowly continued:
"Unless necessary, you may not interfere with my decisions." Lin Xiao's tone suddenly turned serious. "I'm the host, and you're the system. As long as my choices don't violate those underlying rules of yours, you can't stop me. You can advise me, but you can't decide for me."
This time, the system stayed silent so long that it seemed to have crashed.
Then the text appeared on the screen one word at a time, very slowly, as though it were using all its processing power to handle an extremely complex logical proposition.
"Ding-This clause partially exceeds the system's default authority boundaries. The system can promise not to forcibly interfere with Host's decisions where no conflict with underlying rules exists. However, advisory rights and warning obligations must be retained. Does Host accept?"
"Accepted." Lin Xiao nodded in satisfaction. He stood, dusted off his backside, and headed toward his apartment with a swagger that acknowledged no one.
Lin Xiao was in an excellent mood the whole way back. All the negative feelings Tao Yuhan had brought him were swept away-or perhaps they had never existed. Who could say?
When he reached his front door, Lin Xiao took out his key. Before he could insert it into the lock, he heard a faint noise inside. He paused, pushed open the door, and saw May standing in the middle of the living room, bent over his coffee table with a cleaning cloth in hand.
The daisies on the coffee table had been replaced with fresh ones, and the floor had been wiped again, leaving it spotless.
Hearing the door open, May straightened and turned around.
"You're back?" May hid the cloth behind her back, looking a little embarrassed. "I saw there wasn't anything in your fridge, so I went and bought some food. The floor hadn't been cleaned today, so I gave it another wipe."
Lin Xiao did not let her finish.
He strode over, wrapped an arm around her waist, and lowered his head to kiss her.
Caught off guard by his sudden attack, May froze for a moment, and the cloth dropped from her hand. Her body instinctively drew back half an inch, but his palm held her back steadily, and she stopped retreating. She closed her eyes, rose onto her toes, and slid her hands up from his chest to loop around his neck.
This kiss was deeper and longer than the last. Lin Xiao's hand slid from her waist to her back, then returned. Through her thin house dress, his fingertips could feel the warmth of her skin. May's breathing grew faster, her fingers lightly clutching the back of his neck.
Lin Xiao's hands began to wander.
May opened her eyes and gave him a gentle push. It was not forceful, but it was firm.
"Wait."
Lin Xiao stopped and looked down at her.
May was red to the tips of her ears, her lips a little swollen from kissing, her breathing still uneven. She bit her lower lip, her voice almost inaudible. "Today's... not a good time."
Lin Xiao paused. "What do you mean?"
"It's..." May flushed even redder and poked his chest. "My monthly visitor."
"Visitor?" Lin Xiao frowned, then realization dawned. "Oh, that visitor."
"Mm."
Lin Xiao fell silent for a moment, then lowered his head and said something into her ear in a thoroughly earnest tone.
In a fraction of a second, May's face went from pink to scarlet, then from scarlet to a deep red hot enough to boil eggs. She shoved Lin Xiao away, snatched the fallen cloth off the floor, and flung it at his face.
"Lin Xiao, have you no shame!"
"What did I do? I was thinking of you too-"
"Get lost!"
"Then I won't say it! I won't! Stop hitting me, stop! I was wrong!"
"Spare me, heroine May!"