In Marvel, but I'm a Big Guy

[Trope Subversion][Marvel][Harem][Comedy][Sneaky Schemer][Black-Bellied]

Believe it or not, all I ever wanted was a nine-to-five desk job at S.H.I.E.L.D.

Blame this lousy system for only boosting Strength. It practically forced me to become the biggest bully in New York.

And that's how my whole story went off the rails:

Tony's hammering scrap metal in a cave? No rush. I'll farm his stats for ninety days before rescuing him. That's called strategic development.

I wanted to date a general's daughter, so I hired five thugs to rob me and staged a heroic rescue. Turns out she'd trained in martial arts and took them all down herself. The thugs lay on the ground howling, "You'll have to pay extra!"

I wanted to film a vlog of Peter becoming Spider-Man, but the flash scared the spider away. So I had to stab him with a [Stand Arrow] and manually create a Stand user.

Hulk came to smash up the place? I beat him with a few perfectly honorable (utterly shameless) little tricks. Now he calls me Uncle.

The system keeps screwing me over? Not a chance. These days, it calls me Big Bro.

What New York's criminals fear most now isn't the police. It's my moral education classes-and the warning, "Don't forget to pay your tuition."