I Suspect You're Making Dirty Jokes

"Hey... did you go training, or did you get trampled by a wild boar?"

Aoi Kanzaki stood with her hands on her hips, her brows knitted tightly. Her eyes, usually stern, were now full of disbelief and a tiny hint of sympathy she didn't want to admit to.

On the tatami before her lay a heap of a creature called Kiyohiko.

If he had been a handsome young man before, he now looked exactly like an overgrown potato fresh out of the ground.

His left eye was swollen to a slit, his right cheek bulged, a bruise marked the corner of his mouth, and a fresh, steaming lump crowned his forehead. His whole face was a dazzling array of colors, and only his mouth continued to open and close with stubborn determination.

(Actually, Kiyohiko's regenerative ability shouldn't have left him with any of this at all, but having gotten this far, it was really hard not to write a passage like this, QAQ)

"Mmm... oo ohn uneran (you don't understand)..."

Kiyohiko mumbled indistinctly, clutching a rice ball larger than his fist and trying hard to stuff it into his rather uncooperative mouth.

"That awful woman... ow... she was definitely using her position to settle a personal grudge! Definitely!"

"Stop complaining about Lady Shinobu."

Aoi Kanzaki sighed. Though she sounded disapproving, her hands didn't stop moving. She deftly pushed a second tray of rice balls in front of him and poured him a cup of warm water.

"Lady Shinobu has clearly been in a very good mood lately. She's even been eating much more than usual. She really looks happy."

"Her happiness comes at the expense of my suffering!"

Kiyohiko swallowed the last bite of the rice ball in grief and indignation, feeling the burning hunger in his stomach finally ease a little.

He burped and sprawled on the bedding, watching Aoi Kanzaki clear away his empty plates.

Over the past few days, his astonishing appetite had sent the kitchen's workload soaring. But Aoi Kanzaki had never complained once. Every time, she had delivered mountains of food right on schedule, and she even made a point of saving him snacks made from the scraps.

Though she always wore a stern face and spoke sharply, Kiyohiko knew that this girl with twin tails actually had a very soft heart.

"Hey, Sunflower Seed."

Kiyohiko suddenly sat up straight and mysteriously reached inside his clothes.

"Since you've worked so hard feeding a pig... ahem, feeding me, let me treat you to something good."

"Who's been feeding a pig?! Are you admitting you're a pig?"

Aoi Kanzaki rolled her eyes irritably, but she stopped what she was doing and leaned over curiously.

"What is it? If it's some weird stone you picked up somewhere, I'm throwing you out."

Kiyohiko grinned and opened his palm.

In it lay a small, exquisite glass bottle, the konpeito inside shifting like gemstones.

"Want some candy? I had a really hard time snatching this."

That was pure nonsense. Shinobu Kocho had tossed him this bottle of candy before leaving the rooftop that night.

"That's..."

Aoi Kanzaki's eyes went round. She stared intently at the little bottle, freezing on the spot.

"That's... that's premium konpeito from Ryokujuan Shimizu in Ginza?! And that bottle... that's Lady Shinobu's most treasured candy jar, the one she always carries with her! She usually can't bear to give even me more than a few pieces, so how could she give it to you, you..."

Huh?

This candy is that precious? No wonder even a demon like me thinks it's good. I thought that awful woman had just tossed me something she didn't want.

Kiyohiko looked at the bottle in his hand and smiled faintly.

Aoi Kanzaki stepped forward and reached out, but when she actually got in front of Kiyohiko, he suddenly pulled the bottle back into his clothes.

"What? Didn't you say you'd give me a piece? Since it's from Lady Shinobu's treasured stash, I want to try some too..."

Aoi Kanzaki was taken aback, not quite understanding why Kiyohiko had suddenly changed his attitude and become so careful.

"Th-that was just politeness. You know what politeness is, right?"

Kiyohiko spoke with a panicked expression and pulled the candy inside his clothes a little closer.

Aoi Kanzaki was so annoyed with Kiyohiko that her cheeks puffed up like a hamster hoarding food.

"You're the one who said you'd give me some!"

Aoi Kanzaki was speechless with anger. "How can you be so stingy?! Not even one piece?"

"No."

"Fine, fine. Keep it, then. As if I wanted it."

Aoi Kanzaki irritably picked up the empty plates and stood. "Honestly, every one of you gives me so much to worry about... If you treasure it that much, keep it safe. If you lose it, just see how you'll cry."

After Aoi Kanzaki left, the room fell quiet again.

The smile at the corners of Kiyohiko's mouth slowly faded. He looked at the glass bottle in his hand, his gaze growing somewhat deep.

"A gift just for me, huh..."

He murmured to himself and carefully tucked the bottle back inside his clothes, keeping it close to his body.

About a cup of tea's time after Aoi Kanzaki left, the door to the room slid open again.

This time, there was no knock and no hurried footsteps. The door slid open as softly as a breeze, but the scent that swept in afterward nearly made Kiyohiko jump off the tatami.

"Oh my, Aoi told me there's an unpleasant 'guest' here, showing off someone else's gift to everyone."

Shinobu Kocho stood in the doorway, backlit, her haori patterned after butterfly wings fluttering gently. On her face was that signature, perfect smile that sent chills down one's spine. Her pale violet eyes curved slightly, as if she were looking at a little white mouse in a cage.

Kiyohiko edged toward the corner of the room.

"Hey, hey, hey, I haven't asked anyone else to train me. I just finished training, and the injuries on my body only just healed. I don't want another round."

"Also, could you stay a little farther away from me? My nose seems a little unhappy with you."

Shinobu Kocho entered the room and casually shut the door. As if she hadn't heard his complaints at all, she walked straight over and sat down opposite him, her posture impeccably graceful.

"It can't be helped. I am the Insect Hashira, after all. To deal with certain disobedient little things, this much preparation is necessary."

She raised a finger and gently tapped her cheek, her smile deepening.

"But you, Mr. Kiyohiko. You say you don't like training, but you were awfully loud in the dojo just now. Your body is quite honest, isn't it?"

"I suspect you're making a dirty joke, but I have no proof," Kiyohiko remarked.