The Carriage, the Coachman, and the Psychiatrist

The night passed, and dawn was just breaking.

Xie Yu and his father sat in a carriage leaving town, heading toward the forest of tall buildings on the horizon. That was the central district of Black Pine City.

Place names in the kingdom were always simple. A vast plain in the north was called "Northern Plains (Administrative) Province"; a city on the northern side of Northern Plains Administrative Province, near the mountains' year-round snow line, had a vast pine forest and was thus called "Black Pine City"; and an area on the outskirts of Black Pine City, where the pine forestry industry was the main source of natural resources, was called "Pinecone Town."

Yet those were already considered perfectly normal places in the kingdom. In Xie Yu's memory, there was also a whole series of self-explanatory names, such as "Southeast Hurricane Province," "Big Bread City," "Leather Pants Town," and "Wand Gem Inlay City."

It seemed that the high-ranking official responsible for naming places in the kingdom was an extreme pragmatist.

Though it all seemed rather absurd, opening a map of the kingdom revealed its entire operating structure at a glance.

"Are you all right, son?" the man asked softly. "Don't be afraid. We're going to see a doctor."

Outside the carriage, the coachman heard this and was suddenly curious. No wonder the father and son had hired a carriage so early in the morning to travel such a long way.

Still, the boy looked healthy and had all his limbs. What illness could someone so young have...? the coachman thought.

Without realizing it, he leaned his ear closer to the carriage behind him and turned sideways to eavesdrop.

"I'm fine! I told you ages ago, this is a waste of gold coins. The city center is so far away that even the cheapest carriage costs two silver coins to get there and another two to get back. And who knows how much the doctor will charge?" Xie Yu sighed.

The coachman thought that the boy's thoughts were clear and coherent, and he didn't seem like a child driven mad by the great examination. Besides, the children said to have been driven mad by the great examination were all from wealthy families in big cities. You rarely heard of such things in a little place like Pinecone Town.

"Our family can afford it. Your health is more important than anything." The man seemed to sigh.

The coachman listening at the carriage couldn't make sense of it. The boy was so sensible, so why did his father say he was ill?

"Besides, we were overcharged," Xie Yu said. "A trip to the city center in the morning usually costs only one silver coin. There are lots of people and plenty of business in the city center, so carriages can easily find return passengers. Trips there are always cheap."

The coachman's heart skipped a beat, and he guiltily moved his ear away. He had already taken the money and had no intention of giving it back. If they wanted to haggle, they should have done it before paying.

"How do you know?" the man asked.

"The carriage told me. It also said it told me because it likes me a lot." Xie Yu stroked the wooden interior of the carriage.

[The noisy, cleanliness-loving carriage (affection: 57):]

[Wow, you've ridden in me for twenty minutes without spitting on my floor. I really like you two.]

[Let me tell you, my master loves money and gambling. He's been married eight years and still hasn't saved much, and he won't spend money on my upkeep. Look, your seat cushions are actually upside down. People got the other sides dirty, but he wouldn't pay to wash them. He just flipped them over instead, and he won't wash them until both sides have been sat on and dirtied. He's very stingy, and he also likes to eavesdrop on passengers and then brag to the other coachmen during breaks...]

Once the carriage started talking, the words poured out endlessly.

Xie Yu listened attentively and had already learned all sorts of interesting things: the coachman was thirty-four, his child was five, his family was poor and owed his male cousin a little money, and a few days ago his father-in-law had caught his mother-in-law cheating.

But he didn't say any of it aloud, lest the coachman start questioning his life.

After all, Xie Yu wanted people to think he was "crazy," not to truly expose his ability completely.

"The carriage... likes you a lot?" The man's voice held both surprise and concern. Afraid of upsetting Xie Yu, he carefully played along.

"Of course. I didn't spit on it, blow my nose, or wipe my boogers on the back of the seat. The carriage likes people like us," Xie Yu said.

The man reflexively reached behind the seat. His fingers seemed to feel something peculiar, and he fell silent.

"Good boy, we won't take a carriage on the way back. We'll take a more comfortable magic cab."

Xie Yu nodded indifferently, feeling somewhat eager. He wondered whether, if he maxed out a magic cab's affection, he could ride for free... According to his memories, magic cabs in this world had no coachmen. Were they remotely controlled by mages? Or did they fly automatically, as in the legends?

[The noisy, cleanliness-loving carriage (affection: 53):]

[Ah, why are you looking down on me? I treat you like good friends, but you don't want to ride in me? I was even looking forward to giving you a ride back to Pinecone Town after going around the city with the coachman to do some business!]

"No, we're not looking down on you for being dirty. Father just wants to let me experience the wonders of magic early and broaden my horizons," Xie Yu explained.

[The noisy, cleanliness-loving carriage (affection: 50):]

[Oh, I see. You've taken the great examination and become a magic apprentice, so now you look down on commoners' transportation. Yes, I'm not good enough for the great Lord Magic Apprentice anymore. Only a noble magic cab is worthy of the great magic apprentice's backside and the backside of the great magic apprentice's great father. I'm the one reaching above my station.]

Xie Yu felt a headache coming on. He had thought the carriage was easy to talk to, but he hadn't expected to accidentally touch a nerve.

Winning someone over was an art. Replicating his success with the [willful test paper] really wasn't easy.

"Were you talking to the carriage just now?" The man grew even more worried about Xie Yu's mental state.

"Yes." Xie Yu nodded.

Outside, the coachman held the reins and thought that the boy really was crazy.

Looking down on his carriage for being dirty? Hmph. He'd been right to overcharge them. They deserved to pay extra.

"Let's not talk about that, son. Let's talk about something else." The man did his best to divert Xie Yu's attention.

"Have you decided which academy to apply to? Why don't you ask Mr. Keli to help you think it over? He taught you before, so I'm sure he can give you sound advice."

"No need. The book you bought me, The Complete Guide to the Kingdom's Magic Academies: Latest 1739 Edition, is much more knowledgeable than Keli. I talked with it all night, and now I know everything there is to know about every magic academy in the kingdom!" Xie Yu was interested in the topic too and had been wanting to talk about it.

"Son, I think you mean you looked through it all night, right?" the man sighed for the umpteenth time.

Xie Yu said earnestly:

"No, I talked with it all night.

"It told me that in the field of magic, specialized academies are always stronger than comprehensive ones. Comprehensive academies are full of factions fighting over their limited resources. Although they look big, each field actually gets very little. In specialized academies, on the other hand, there's often one undisputed sage-level leader directing all the manpower, materials, and money. They invest enormous resources in their specialty, exploring the deepest mysteries of magic.

"If I only wanted to scrape together a magic apprentice certificate or become an ordinary one-star mage, a comprehensive academy might be the best choice. But if I have the ambition and talent to study further, going straight to a specialized academy is definitely the best option."

The man frowned at first, but as Xie Yu went into more detail, he began nodding repeatedly.

As an ordinary man who knew next to nothing about magic, he had managed to "scrape together" a magic apprentice certificate after reaching adulthood. But in Pinecone Town, aside from officials and teachers at the magic school, the vast majority were ordinary people. Even when young people with magical talent appeared, they would go to live in bigger cities.

The man really didn't understand magic. He had long since forgotten the basic magical knowledge he had learned at school, and there was little he could do to help Xie Yu advance.

Hearing Xie Yu speak so logically, he was actually very gratified. But when he thought of Xie Yu's mental state, he also felt heartache and worry.

"That makes a lot of sense. So, have you decided?"

[The noisy, cleanliness-loving carriage (affection rapidly rising to 65):]

[Huh, you really are a top student? Everything you said is so profound. Can you tell me more?]

Xie Yu went into every detail.

"There are lots of subdivisions within magic. The book told me that the kingdom's main areas of development in recent years have been [sealed objects], [magic arrays], and [potions]. Meanwhile, fields such as [magic tools], [magic materials], [magical creatures], and [basic magic formulas] have already run into obvious bottlenecks and stagnated. Apart from those, in the field of applied magic, [the militarization of magic] has also been a popular topic in recent years. There are also [weather magic], [ocean magic], and [deep rock magic], which are doing all right. As for the rest, they're either completely monopolized by old mage families or are declining industries. For example, [medical magic] has been completely defeated by [potions]..."

Everything the book had said was fully corroborated by the questions on the test paper. As the kingdom's tool for selecting talent from among all its citizens, the great examination had questions that closely reflected the kingdom's direction of development.

Although the questions on the test paper were full of all kinds of strange tricks, the overall direction had probably been set by the kingdom. There was nothing wrong with that direction; the problems had only arisen in its implementation at the lower levels.

Xie Yu talked while the man listened attentively. For a moment, he even wondered whether a child whose thoughts were so clear was really ill. If there truly was something wrong with his mind, could he still speak so logically?

"I told the book I could definitely get a perfect score, and it said I absolutely had to apply to an academy in the capital, or I'd be missing out," Xie Yu said.

The man's expression froze. The notion that his son was mentally sound suddenly seemed so flimsy.

Outside the carriage, the coachman abruptly burst into laughter.

"Sir, I have to say, your boy's illness is really something. In the whole kingdom, only a handful of people get perfect scores each year. In a little place like ours, sixty points makes you a top student. You really should find a famous doctor for your boy."

"Just drive your carriage!" The man's heartache for Xie Yu instantly turned to anger, and he spoke sharply to the coachman outside. "My son is no concern of an outsider like you."

Neither he nor his wife could bear to say in front of Xie Yu that he was ill. Whatever else, he was their only son and the pride of their family. Never mind a driver-even if the mayor of Black Pine City came and spoke so harshly, the man wouldn't have shown him a friendly face.

"They really do dote on him like he's a treasure..." The coachman's voice faded, and he said no more.

Xie Yu naturally wasn't angry. There was nothing really wrong with what the coachman had said; Xie Yu himself was the one who defied common sense. Besides, he was only too eager for everyone to think there was something wrong with him.

Xie Yu summed up:

"Anyway, I want to choose one of these four: the Capital Sealed Object Research Institute, the Capital Magic Array Engineering Academy, the Capital Potion Formulation and Production Research Institute, or the Capital Magic Strategy and Military Research Institute."

"Do you really want to choose an academy in the capital...? The capital is so far away."

What the man actually wanted to say was that the scores required by the capital's academies were incredibly high. Could Xie Yu really get in? But to avoid upsetting him, he put it differently.

In fact, he thought it would be better for a young person to go somewhere farther away, somewhere prosperous and full of people. It would not only broaden his horizons but also offer more opportunities. Even if he didn't become a powerful mage, he would have more paths open to him. It would be better than being stuck in Pinecone Town like his father.

"Just wait and see," Xie Yu said optimistically.

[The noisy, cleanliness-loving carriage (affection rapidly rising to 75):]

[Wow, the capital... Back then, I was born in Wheel City, near the capital. I was loaded onto a huge ship and transported here. I remember that at the end of the broad river, there was a huge floating disc that blotted out the sky. Only later did I learn that what I saw was the Capital Floating Island, and the silhouettes of countless tall buildings below it were the capital. It was an enormous city... What a shame I never saw it again.]

Before long, the carriage arrived at a transit station in central Black Pine City.

Father and son got out, and the carriage and coachman went off to look for new passengers.

After saying goodbye to the carriage, Xie Yu walked through the streets of Black Pine City with his father. The man didn't know Black Pine City very well either. He held an old map and occasionally asked Xie Yu to help check whether the intersections matched the shapes on it.

Most of the buildings in the city center were much taller than the wooden and brick houses in Pinecone Town. Wherever he looked, there were plenty of buildings a hundred meters tall, giving the place something of the feel of cities Xie Yu had seen in his previous life. But these buildings followed no apparent architectural standards, nor were they lined up neatly in straight rows. Magical reinforcement techniques gave buildings incredible strength.

Here and there, a vast cantilevered section of a tall building jutted out from a narrow foundation, blocking the sky above the road.

Perhaps because architecture had not developed into a systematic discipline, magically reinforced wood could support excessively heavy structures beyond its normal limits, yet the mages had built no exceptionally tall skyscrapers in this city. Although magic gave the buildings brute-force strength, construction methods were overly wild and lacked order.

Fortunately, the mind and soul clinic wasn't far away. After they passed two intersections, a rather old-fashioned, even somewhat dilapidated three-story wooden house appeared before father and son. The small building was clearly at a disadvantage in the city center: the neighboring magic hat megastore had aggressively thrust half of a cantilevered upper floor diagonally out over it.

"We're here," the man said with a nod.

Xie Yu stepped forward and looked at the sign on the door: [Mr. Kaiming, two-star mage, Black Pine City's finest mind and soul physician, powerful medium, accepting commissions to converse with the dead throughout the city, grave inspection and site selection, fair prices (but travel expenses must be reimbursed)]. He carefully knocked with the snake-shaped door knocker.

This was his first time dealing with a mage since waking up, so he was inevitably a little nervous.