I Got Sold, and My Dad Even Paid the Buyer

[A copper-core door lock on its last legs (affection 0), its handle being turned.]

[An arrogant top hat (affection 0), looking down at you with elegance. It likes looking down on everyone.]

[A loyal solid-wood cane inlaid with gemstones (affection 0), completely ignoring your existence, absorbed in the sensation of its owner's palm rubbing against it.]

[A bashful gray-black cloak (affection 20), feeling shy at the sight of you.]

[A pair of plush slippers with a sensitive nose (affection 0), fast asleep.]

The world through Xie Yu's eyes was complicated. He stared wide-eyed, wondering which one would be better to win over.

The cloak looks easy to win over...

He almost failed to notice the middle-aged human man beneath the hat, beside the cane, inside the cloak, and above the slippers.

The world through Xie Yu's father's eyes was much simpler.

The door opened, and a mage stood before it, looking ready to go out.

It seemed they had arrived at just the right time. A little later, and the best mental and soul doctor in Black Pine City might have already left.

The man stepped forward and spoke first.

"We've come from Pinecone Town. This is my son, Xie Yu. He's recently been suffering from some mental disturbances. You must be Doctor Kaiming. I beg you to treat my poor child."

Kaiming twitched his beard, removed his hat, and took a couple of looks at Xie Yu. Then he raised his hat and waved a hand.

"No need. He's not sick. The examination is over, so go home. I have other business to attend to."

A miracle doctor! Xie Yu was stunned.

Judging by the long list of titles on the doorplate, he had thought this fellow was a magic doctor short on money.

His father had struck the perfect pose to offer payment, yet the man had refused to take the bait.

The man was stunned too, but he persisted.

"No, please listen. My child has been talking to objects lately. He wanted to find a father for an auditorium, had an all-night conversation with a book, and discussed hygiene with a carriage compartment. His symptoms have me deeply worried."

Doctor Kaiming rolled up his sleeve and tapped the watch on his left wrist with his right index finger.

"Right now, I have an appointment with another noble mage, and time is short. He's taking the major exam this year, isn't he?"

"Yes," the man said with a nod.

"That explains it! He's putting on an act, trying to get your attention and find an excuse for failing the major exam. Things like this always happen around exam time. I've seen plenty of it. Every year, all sorts of outlandish schemes are born in the minds of young people his age."

Quack!

So he didn't diagnose anything at all. He was just making wild guesses!

Xie Yu coughed twice and tugged at his father's sleeve, feeling they could leave now.

"That's not it. He's a good child, not what you think..." The man was so worried that he was at a loss for how to explain Xie Yu's illness to the doctor.

The doctor was visibly irritated. He took off his top hat and fanned himself.

"See? The moment I open my mouth, parents like you always say, 'No, that's not it. You're wrong. You need to listen to me.' You want my diagnosis that badly? Then I diagnose you with a 'contrarian personality.' Here's the potion I'm prescribing you. Take it and drink it."

He turned and went back inside, then produced an enormous glass bottle from somewhere. It was filled with a colorless liquid. He introduced it:

"This is family harmony water, the product of ten years of painstaking research. Four liters per bottle, one gold coin. Whenever your child makes you angry, take a sip, hold it in your mouth for ten minutes, then spit it out. A seven-day course is guaranteed to produce results."

[A large bottle of sexually indifferent distilled water (affection 0).]

"Prescribing medicine for me?" The man could hardly believe it. He had come to get his child treated, so why was the doctor prescribing medicine for him?

"Do you have a wife?" Kaiming asked.

"Yes."

"Then you can buy two bottles, one for your wife too. You'll see results faster."

Kaiming brought out another bottle and set both on the steps outside the door.

[Two large bottles of sexually indifferent distilled water (affection 0).]

Then he straightened his bow tie, brushed down his cloak, smoothed his hair, and locked the door with a key.

"I'll leave the potion by the door. If you think it over and decide to buy it, just put the money in the mailbox and take it. If not, that's fine too. I'm leaving for a little while, and I won't be seeing patients today."

From beginning to end, the mental and soul doctor had barely spared Xie Yu another glance. He wasn't even worried the two would take the water without paying, and left just like that.

Xie Yu's father stared wide-eyed, wondering if he had somehow offended the doctor.

Xie Yu had been worried that if the magic doctor diagnosed him with a real illness and swindled his family out of a large sum, he would hate to see the money wasted. On the other hand, if the doctor was certain he had no mental illness at all, his plan to pretend to be slightly mad would be on the verge of collapse.

He hadn't really wanted to see a doctor, but his parents had insisted.

Before arriving at the three-story wooden house, Xie Yu had already been thinking about how to pose as a patient with a "mild delusional disorder" and come away with a minor illness certified by a doctor without wasting too much money. He had planned to improvise once he met the magic doctor, but none of it had been needed.

The doctor hadn't taken either father or son seriously at all.

"Maybe I should buy the potion and try it?" the man said, beginning to doubt himself.

He still instinctively trusted the title of "the best mental and soul doctor in Black Pine City." What if he really was the one with a problem? What if his son was normal?

"I don't usually make you angry, so you wouldn't have a chance to drink it."

Xie Yu offered the subtle reminder, hinting to his father that the esteemed mage had surely made the wrong diagnosis and there was no need to waste the money.

If he really wanted water, he could drink his fill for one copper coin. Why buy expensive "potion" here? There wasn't a trace of medicine in it.

"Good point."

The man rubbed the bridge of his nose, remembering that Xie Yu had never been the sort of child who made people worry.

The esteemed magic doctor must have been in too much of a hurry and applied another family's situation to Xie Yu.

"But if we don't buy it, will the doctor be angry? He made an effort to sell it to us, and if we just ignore him, will he hold a grudge?" the man asked worriedly. "I think I'd better pay for the potion, then find another mental doctor."

His father really was cautious. His reverence for magic was written all over his face.

[A three-story wooden house that loves reading (affection 10), feeling rather sorry for you both and unable to stand watching any longer, reminds you:]

[He was a Two-Star Mage ten years ago, and he's still a Two-Star Mage ten years later. He's all reputation and no substance. Don't pay him any mind.]

[He doesn't understand psychoanalysis at all. All he knows how to use is placebo potion that does nothing... Somehow, he gained a bit of a reputation simply because he hasn't treated a single person to death all these years.]

What? Xie Yu was horrified.

What do you mean, because all he uses is placebo potion, he hasn't treated anyone to death, and that made him the best mental and soul doctor in Black Pine City?

What must the other mental and soul doctors be like?

So seeing a doctor was a dangerous undertaking too.

The worst Xie Yu had imagined was that his family would be swindled out of money by these mages while he was pretending to be ill. He hadn't expected his thinking to be so limited.

Pretending to be ill was far from as simple as he had thought.

I can't let Father take me around looking for more doctors!

Once the scores were announced, no illness would be a problem, and he had no need to seek a diagnosis from a doctor he didn't know.

The balance of risk and reward had shifted in Xie Yu's mind.

"Father, do you think it's possible that Doctor Kaiming saw a deeper problem in our family, and that's why he's treating me in such a roundabout way?" Xie Yu made a complete reversal in attitude and spoke with a serious expression.

"Oh?"

"Perhaps I really am ill, but the world of the mind is mysterious and complex. Directly prescribing medicine for many conditions has considerable side effects, and I'm a boy who's still growing, so there are more factors to consider in treating me. What if there's some kind of magic in this water that uses the connection between blood relatives to treat me slowly and gently, by changing the fate of the whole family? Otherwise, how could a bottle of water sell for as much as one gold coin?"

Xie Yu added earnestly:

"Think about it. The best mental and soul doctor in Black Pine City, with a reputation everyone praises, couldn't possibly be living on an undeserved reputation."

He could have his father take the water and drink it. It wouldn't kill him, anyway.

It would only cost two gold coins. The loss was manageable.

As it happened, he could also get the diagnosis of "madness" he wanted this way.

If they went to another doctor, there was no telling what might happen. The loss of money, mental health, or even life and physical health could be far more frightening.

[A three-story wooden house that loves reading (affection 10), dumbstruck:]

[Hey, did you hear what I said?]

[I told you not to pay that Kaiming fellow any mind!]

[You'd be better off letting me treat you than him. At least I've actually read the books on his shelves carefully.]

"The moment I saw Mr. Kaiming, I felt from the bottom of my heart that he was a miracle doctor," Xie Yu said, trying his best.

The man was convinced and nodded repeatedly. Trust in mages was ingrained in this ordinary father's bones.

Prescribing medicine for the parents when the child was sick-what wondrous medical skill!

"I'll buy it," the man said with a nod. He took a small money pouch from his inner coat pocket, pulled out two standard gold coins minted by the kingdom without a moment's hesitation, and put them in the mailbox by the door.

The man picked up the two large bottles of water, intending to leave with Xie Yu.

Xie Yu took one bottle to help his father and added:

"Father, I don't think we should look for another mental magic doctor either. If Mr. Kaiming found out, he might get angry and think we didn't respect or trust him. At least drink it for one course, as the doctor said."

Having grasped his father's character, he continued to exert his influence.

"You're right. You've grown up and become mature. You've thought this through very carefully." The man looked at his son with satisfaction.

[A three-story wooden house that loves reading (affection 10), crying out to you:]

[You clearly saw what I said, so why won't you listen?]

[Kaiming is cheating you! He's cheating you! Oh, heavens, what's wrong with this world? It's a world even a house can't understand!]

[Oh, no, Kaiming's back.]

"Wait." A familiar voice rang out.

The mental and soul doctor Kaiming had clearly gone far away, but at some point he had returned. He stood not far from the side of the wooden house, staring at Xie Yu with great interest.

"Your visit came at such a coincidental time that I forgot to put on my formal leather boots. I came back to change my shoes. Sorry, I accidentally overheard your conversation."

Mr. Kaiming pointed his cane at the plush slippers on his feet and wiggled his toes, indicating that he had put on the wrong shoes.

Although he spoke of "your conversation," his gaze was fixed entirely on Xie Yu's face.

He leaned closer, greatly interested in the boy.

"The moment you saw me, you knew I was a miracle doctor?"

"Of course!" Xie Yu struggled to keep from smiling, but admitted it nonetheless. He certainly hadn't lied. When Kaiming said he wasn't sick, there had been a moment when he really had taken him for a miracle doctor.

Kaiming smiled. "Using the connection between blood relatives to treat someone slowly and gently by changing the whole? You said that too?"

"I... I presumed to guess your intentions, Doctor. Sorry." Xie Yu lowered his head.

This is bad. He never went far at all and was listening the whole time! Or do mages have sharp hearing?

Power in the mental domain is mainly used for detection...

I should have thought of that...

As Xie Yu's thoughts raced, considering how to talk his way out of it, Mr. Kaiming clapped his hands vigorously.

"Sir, your child is a genius in the field of mental and soul medicine! He guessed every bit of it! That is precisely the treatment plan I painstakingly prepared!"

[A three-story wooden house that loves reading (affection 15), pitying you both:]

[That wretched Kaiming! Shameless Kaiming! Harmful Kaiming! Whatever you do, don't believe a word that swindler says.]

Kaiming patted Xie Yu warmly on the back.

"Young man, I can see you have considerable talent. You'll likely become a great talent in the future, a pillar of the kingdom! I find myself eager to nurture you. Since you've just taken the major exam and there's still some time before enrollment in the spring, why not work as an assistant at my clinic? I won't presume to call myself your teacher for a few days, but I can introduce you to the mage circles of Black Pine City and perhaps even write you a recommendation letter. What do you think?"

"This..." Xie Yu's father was momentarily bewildered. "My child really is a genius?"

Xie Yu's mouth hung slightly open. He had roughly guessed what was going on, but he didn't dare say it.

Doctor Kaiming had probably taken a liking to his talent for "deceiving" his father.

"Of course. I'm an excellent judge of character. It's a basic skill for a doctor," Kaiming said confidently.

"Don't just stand there, child. Bow to the esteemed mage!" The man hurriedly gave Xie Yu a push. "Come on, child, quickly."

Carrying the two large bottles of water, the man happily hummed a tune, planning to return to Pinecone Town and enjoy drinking the potion with his wife for seven days to treat Xie Yu's illness.

He had simply left Xie Yu in a city district where he knew no one and nothing, in the hands of a mage he had met for the first time.

Oh, my dear father!

Xie Yu was left speechless, unable to voice his grievances.

He had come to the city and been sold by his father. It was bad enough that he hadn't fetched a price, but his father had even paid the buyer!

Mr. Kaiming had changed into his leather boots and was twirling his cane in his hand, evidently in an excellent mood.

He dropped the two gold coins Xie Yu's father had left directly into Xie Yu's coat pocket and spoke calmly, without his earlier exaggeration.

"I know you saw through me. Impressive for someone so young."

"...You flatter me," Xie Yu answered cautiously.

"Using the connection between blood relatives to treat someone slowly and gently by changing the fate of the whole family-that's a marvelous line! Why didn't I think of it? If you became a mental and soul doctor... it's hard to imagine. You'd make an absolute fortune."

Kaiming lowered his voice and spoke persuasively:

"Child, you botched the major exam, didn't you? Perfect. Work with me, and I guarantee you'll never want for food or clothing. What future could you have in a remote place like Pinecone Town?"

[A three-story wooden house that loves reading (affection 20), distressed but helpless:]

[Alas, poor little fellow, you've fallen into the clutches of Kaiming the swindler.]