I Didn't Leave

(Note: This novel unfolds from the dual perspectives of Eris and Rudeus. Changes in perspective are marked only when another character's perspective appears or when both protagonists' perspectives appear in the same chapter. Thank you for reading. The plot follows the original work closely, with almost no newly created characters.)

When I woke up, it was still dark outside.

The tent was dim. A strip of grayish-white light shone through a gap in the canvas and fell across the ground. The air smelled of earth and dry grass, with a faint trace of sweat.

Someone was lying beside me.

Rudeus.

He was fast asleep, his mouth slightly open and his breathing steady. His brownish-gold hair lay in a mess across the pillow, and the beauty mark beneath his left eye was barely visible in the dim light. He looked awful when he slept, with a streak of dried drool at the corner of his mouth. He didn't look remotely like someone reliable, though his brow was faintly furrowed.

Rudeus thinks about things even in his sleep.

I lay still, watching him in that strip of light.

My whole body was a little sore. I looked down at myself. I was dressed, but my clothes were wrinkled, the collar was crooked, and one of the buttons was done up wrong.

What happened yesterday...

My face suddenly grew hot.

Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it!

My shirt smelled like him. I couldn't say what the smell was, but whenever I caught it, even the tips of my ears grew hot.

His hand was still resting on my waist, his fingers curled as though he didn't want to let go even in his dreams.

I gently moved his hand aside and sat up.

I could hear the wind and insects outside the tent. The camp was quiet. Rujierd was probably still keeping watch; he was always that alert.

I lifted the tent flap and took a look. The sun wasn't up yet. The outlines of the ruins were faintly visible in the morning light, their broken walls like a row of rotten teeth.

Fittoa Territory-the City of Roa.

My hometown.

But now there was nothing left.

I sat at the entrance to the tent and laid my sword across my knees.

The blade reflected my face. My deep red hair was a mess, like a bird's nest. There were dark circles under my eyes, and my lips were chapped.

"I look awful."

I put down the sword and ran my fingers through my hair a couple of times. It was tangled, and I couldn't smooth it out, so I gave up.

My head was full of what had happened yesterday.

When we returned to Fittoa Territory, I thought I would at least see something that would remind me, "This used to be my home." But everything was gone. It was as though a giant hand had wiped the entire territory off the map. Everything had disappeared...

Grandfather Sauros had been executed.

Father and Mother had died too.

Alphonse was the one who told me. I'd still held out a sliver of hope until he said that Ghislaine had personally identified Father and Mother's remains. He couldn't even look me in the face as he told me.

Afterward, I stood alone among the ruins for a long, long time. The sun was blazing, scorching my back like a fire, but I couldn't feel the heat.

Then Rudeus came.

He didn't say anything. He just stood beside me. The wind was strong, making his robe snap and flap. His left eye twitched slightly, but he didn't look into any future. He just looked ahead, at the ruins where nothing remained.

That night, in the tent, I cried.

Grandfather had said that members of House Boreas must never cry in front of others, but I cried anyway. Rudeus held me like that, his hands trembling a little, but he never let go.

I also remembered Alphonse saying that House Notos wanted to take me as a concubine to preserve Boreas's remaining lands and refugees.

I wasn't going to be anyone's concubine. Rudeus was the only person I loved, so I chose him.

"...I say I chose him, but all I really did was give myself to him."

My face grew hot again at the thought. I slapped my cheek hard. It hurt.

"Stop thinking about it! What am I doing, thinking about that stuff in broad daylight?!"

I looked down at my hands. My fingers were callused from years of sword practice, and there was an old scar in the webbing between my right thumb and forefinger, from a desert scorpion on the Demon Continent.

It had been three years since the displacement incident.

Rudeus, Rujierd, and I had crossed the Demon Continent together, from Port Wind at its southernmost end to Rikarisu City at its northernmost, then crossed the desert to reach the Millis Continent. Along the way, we'd run into countless monsters, swindlers, and bastards.

On my first day on the Demon Continent, I'd been shaking with fear. The air had reeked of sulfur and rotting flesh. When I woke up and saw Rujierd in particular, my body wouldn't stop trembling, and I'd desperately wanted to run away.

Then Rudeus took my hand and comforted me.

"It's all right. Mr. Rujierd isn't a demon who eats people," he said. He'd been trembling himself, but he smiled. It was an awful smile, like he was forcing himself to hold on, and he gripped my hand tightly.

If anyone could do it, Rudeus could. I'd felt that way ever since. He was two years younger than me, and he was trembling too, but he could still make me feel safe.

Later, in Port Wind, he treated a strange little demon girl to a meal and received a Demon Eye of Foresight in exchange. He said that when the girl dug out his left eye with her fingernails, he'd rolled around on the ground in pain. It took him several days to get used to it afterward.

Outside Rikarisu City, we fought together for the first time against a group of desert scorpions. His Rock Bullets blasted in from a distance while I used my sword to cut off the scorpions' tails up close. When he shouted "Left," I dodged right without thinking, and his magic flew right through the spot where I'd just been standing.

In the poisonous swamp deep in the Demon Continent, we ran into an S-rank corrosion lizard. The acid it spat could melt iron armor. Rudeus used all his strength to raise an ice wall between it and me. The acid splashed against the wall with a hiss, and a few drops flew through a gap, burning through his robe and scalding his arm and face. Rujierd pierced its neck from the side. Rudeus fell to the ground with his face covered in blood, but the first thing he said was, "Eris, you're not hurt, are you?"

"You idiot. You were hurt so badly yourself, and you were still worried about me."

I hadn't fallen in love with Rudeus overnight.

During those years at home, I wasn't sure how I felt. He taught me to read, taught me magic, and taught me so, so much... He stood in front of me at every dangerous moment. Even though he was still much weaker than Rujierd, he found a way to keep me alive every time.

That time at the Red Dragon's Lower Jaw...

I didn't want to remember it.

But I had to.

The moment the Dragon God attacked, Rujierd stepped in front of Rudeus. By the time I came to my senses, that man had already sent Rujierd flying into the rock wall, where he lay unconscious. I'd firmly believed Rujierd was the strongest person there was, but before that being, he was nothing.

To protect Rudeus, I pushed aside my fear, drew my sword, and charged.

I didn't remember whether I'd shouted. I only remembered giving it everything I had.

But that man sent me flying with just one hand. I slammed into the rock wall, and pain swept through my body.

By the time I recovered, Rudeus had already...

There was a hole in his chest. The Dragon God's right hand withdrew from his chest, blood dripping from its fingertips. Rudeus's eyes slowly lost focus.

I ignored my injuries and crawled to his side like a madwoman, my hands and feet trembling, my mind completely blank.

"Rujierd! Ghislaine! Grandfather! Father! Mother! Anyone, please, save him. Rudeus is going to die. No... someone, save Rudeus..."

I called everyone's name in my heart, but no one came. At that moment, I truly understood for the first time that there were beings in this world stronger than Rujierd, powers more terrifying than anything I could imagine. If I didn't become stronger, I wouldn't be able to protect the man I loved.

The way I am now, I don't deserve to stand beside him.

That thought had surfaced again, like a thorn piercing my heart.

I looked at Rudeus, fast asleep beside me. His breathing was still steady.

If I leave, who will protect him?

Rujierd was strong, but he had his own path to follow. He needed to find his people and clear the Superd Race's name. He couldn't stay with us forever.

That left only me.

I was Eris Boreas Greyrat, fifteen years old, with Sword Saint Rank strength. I could cook (though it tasted awful), do laundry (though I couldn't get it clean), and do arithmetic (though I often got the answers wrong).

But I could protect him.

Rudeus was everything to me. The thought came naturally; I knew it without having to think.

That idea... isn't so unreasonable.

I reached out and placed my hand on Rudeus's.

His hand was warm, and my fingers intertwined with his.

I decided not to leave.

I'd said I would always protect him, so I would stay. I didn't need a reason, didn't need to worry about whether I "deserved" to or was "strong enough."

I couldn't bear to leave him.

Rudeus's fingers moved.

His brow furrowed, and then he slowly opened his eyes. They were hazy with sleep, like stones beneath the water. He blinked twice, and his gaze gradually came into focus.

He looked at me.

Then his eyes widened.

"Eris... you're..."

His voice was hoarse, perhaps because his throat had been dry all night. He opened his mouth, as if to say something, then swallowed the words. His gaze moved from my face to my hand, then to our intertwined fingers.

Then his gaze drifted a little lower and stopped at my collar.

His face turned red all the way down to the base of his neck. He jerked his gaze away and stared at the top of the tent.

"Eris, you're still here."

He let out a long breath as he said it, and it trembled a little. He was desperately pretending nothing was wrong, but he couldn't bring himself to look at me at all.

...He's embarrassed.

Seeing him like that made my ears grow hot too. Everything from last night came flooding back into my head: his hands, his voice, what he'd said in my ear...

Don't think about it!

"Obviously," I said. Then I realized my voice was trembling too, so I hurriedly cleared my throat. "Where else would I go?"

His Adam's apple bobbed.

I took a deep breath.

"Last night, I said I'd be your kitten." I let go of his hand and stood, looking down at him. "What kind of cat would run away and leave her master?"

The moment I finished, the base of my ears started burning. I hadn't thought anything of it when I'd said it last night, but saying it again now, in broad daylight, was just... just...

Grandfather, I'm sorry. Your granddaughter is hopeless.

Rudeus stared blankly for a while.

Then he smiled.

Tears spilled from the corners of his eyes as he smiled. His green eyes shone in the morning light, and the beauty mark beneath his left eye stood out clearly.

He reached out and caught my wrist.

"You're really not leaving?"

"How many times do I have to say it?"

"I'm just... afraid I'll wake up and find out it was a dream."

His voice was so quiet I almost didn't hear him.

"...Idiot."

His hand tightened a little, and then he pulled me down. I landed sitting beside him, and his arms came around me.

My body stiffened for a moment.

Last night was one thing, but being held in broad daylight was another. His body heat came through my shirt, his chest pressed against mine, and I could hear his heartbeat. It was fast, much faster than usual.

He's nervous too.

That realization slowly made my body relax. I put my hands on his back and gripped his clothes.

He buried his face in my shoulder. His breath was warm and tickled my skin.

"Thank you." His voice was a little muffled, like words he would only have dared say as a child with his face buried in a pillow.

My heart beat even faster.

He wasn't thanking me for staying, or for last night. I could tell. He was just thanking me for still being by his side.

Idiot... just how afraid are you that I'll leave?

My nose suddenly prickled.

I moved my hands from his back and cupped his face.

He raised his head and looked at me. His green eyes were close, with tears still clinging to his lashes. The beauty mark beneath his left eye was right beside my thumb. He froze, his breath stopping.

I froze too.

Wait, what am I doing?

But his eyes were so close. Close enough for me to see my own reflection in them: red hair, red eyes, and a stupid, helpless expression.

Then I kissed him.

His lips were dry and a little cracked. They tasted like unfinished water and a little salt. Maybe it was sweat. Maybe it was nothing at all.

His body went rigid for a full beat.

Then his arms tightened around me, holding me hard.

...You don't even know how to do this, do you?

I almost laughed. The way he responded was hopelessly clumsy. His lips moved, pressing against mine uncertainly, touching the corner of my mouth, then pulling back a little before pressing forward again. It was like he was trying some unfamiliar food for the first time, too afraid to bite, only daring to touch it.

But his fingers slipped into my tangled hair and held the back of my head.

His grip was firm, very firm, as though he was afraid I'd run away.

Don't worry, I won't run.

I took the initiative and kissed him a little deeper.

His breathing grew ragged, and so did mine. The tent was so quiet that all I could hear was the two of us panting and the insects chirping outside. His hands were trembling.

My hands were trembling too.

But neither of us let go.

I didn't know how long it had been. Maybe it was a short time, maybe a long time. I wasn't sure. I was the first to pull my lips away.

His eyes slowly opened, and there was something in them I'd never seen before.

"You..." His voice was so hoarse I could barely hear him. "You just..."

"Kissed you," I said, my ears hot enough to fry an egg. "Got a problem with that?"

His face was as red as my hair.

"N-no, no problem."

"Then shut up."

I pressed his head back against my shoulder so he couldn't see my face.

...Eris Boreas Greyrat, you just kissed a man of your own accord. You can only belong to him for the rest of your life now.

But his arms tightened around me, so tight that my body hurt a little.

But I didn't pull away.

Outside the tent, day had broken. Light poured through the gaps in the canvas, spreading across the ground and over us.

Rujierd's footsteps sounded in the distance. He lifted the tent flap and took a look, then turned and walked away without saying a word.

After two steps, he turned back.

"...Breakfast is ready."