The production crew was halfway through making lunch when Zhang Guozhong decided to go to the fields to call the guests in to eat and check on their progress.
All along the way, Zhang Guozhong couldn't stop saying to the cameraman, "I think the results of this competition are definitely going to be worth watching!"
The two-person teams had each been assigned one mu of land, while the three-person team had one and a half.
In terms of proficiency, the Double Jade Husbands should come first. As for the other two teams, that was hard to say.
The cameraman added, "Shen Huaian's on his own, so he can handle half a mu at most. The other two pairs of special guests are probably about the same."
None of them had ever worked in the fields, and there were even two domineering CEOs among them.
Take the big shot Feng Chi, for instance. Zhang Guozhong truly couldn't imagine him gripping a sickle and huffing and puffing away at harvesting rice.
He was afraid the sight would be too beautiful to behold.
Zhang Guozhong shook his head, troubled. "We've already got a reward. What should the punishment be?"
The cameraman suggested, "The team that comes last could cook a meal. After all, with a big shot here, we can't go too far."
Zhang Guozhong said, "That works. We'll see when the time comes. Let me think of something more entertaining."
After all, if the kitchen at Peach Garden House exploded, it would be rather difficult to repair.
So eager was Zhang Guozhong to see them embarrass themselves that he covered the twenty-minute walk in just fifteen.
The three-person team was the first one he wanted to see.
"Let's see if they've even finished half... huh?"
Zhang Guozhong: ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿
What the hell was that rice harvester doing in the field?!
[The head director's finally here. Please do something about this kid. My ears are about to explode.]
[Hahaha, finally we're not the only helpless ones. Even the director's dumbfounded, hahaha! Wen Jiu's got to be a first in variety show history, right?]
[Say what you want about this kid, but you've got to respect that strength of his. He's stronger than an ox.]
[Hahaha, if the director knew how wifey got that harvester over here, his eyes would probably pop out.]
Wen Jiu drove the rice harvester closer with a chug-chug-chug. Sitting up there gave him a broad view, and he was the first to spot the director and cameraman. He even waved enthusiastically at them. "Hey-"
The rice harvester: "Chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug..."
Zhang Guozhong: ⊙▽⊙
Although Wen Jiu's smile brimmed with youthful enthusiasm, the head director still felt as though Wen Jiu were driving that harvester around inside his head at a rave.
Shen Huaian stood on the ladder outside the harvester's cab, holding the handrail with one hand, his smile blooming like a flower. "Director, you're here! Is it lunchtime?"
"Hang on, just give us a few minutes. We're almost done!"
Zhang Guozhong said, "Wait, you..."
"Chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug!"
Wonderful. His blood pressure shot straight up.
As though picking a fight with the harvester, the head director instantly drowned out its meaningless chugging with a booming, earthshaking roar:
"Where did that harvester come from? Huh? Who gave it to you?!"
Village Chief Liu was sitting in the shade of a tree, eating melon with Yu Qing and the others. He jolted at those words and immediately passed the buck. "Old Wang!"
"Don't get angry, Director. Aren't we almost finished harvesting?" Wen Jiu's voice rang out. "The sooner we're done, the sooner we can go home and eat!"
The director was speechless with exasperation.
"Stop, you little brat! Stop!"
"This is a competition! A competition! No farm machinery allowed!!!"
Lin Shuheng had worked hard all morning to clear just a small patch, yet Wen Jiu's harvester covered it in a single roll. How could he not be angry?
Seeing the director stamping his feet in fury, he poked his head out to fan the flames. "Director, Wen Jiu's cheating. This can't count!"
"He's been using it for ages. If you don't disqualify him, how is that fair to our two teams?!"
"Bullshit!" Wen Jiu stopped specifically to turn and yell at Lin Shuheng. "I only just got on!"
"You suck at this yourself! You've barely harvested a fingernail-sized patch all morning, and you've still got the nerve to talk? I could hear you complaining from up here. I'm tired just listening to you!"
"Besides, Yu Qing and the others haven't complained. What are you yapping about?"
Wen Jiu had never lost when it came to talking back to Lin Shuheng. "What, are you better than them or something?"
"If you're so good, why haven't you harvested much? Yu Qing and the others finished ages ago!"
"Ha! Noob!"
Lin Shuheng said, "You!"
"What about me?" Wen Jiu picked his ear and said disdainfully, "I found this machine myself. Go find one yourself if you're so capable. Oh, right, I forgot an idiot like you probably doesn't even know how to drive it. Hahaha!"
"Besides, getting our machine into the field just proves how awesome we are. The director hasn't even cut in yet. What are you running your mouth for?"
The director flew into a rage. "Get down here!"
Wen Jiu said, "Director, however shameless you are, surely there's a limit. With something as great as farm machinery available, why didn't you let us use it sooner?"
How the hell were they supposed to compete if everyone used machines? See who knew how to operate them?!
Besides, if machines were allowed, wouldn't the villagers have rolled through and finished everything in a couple of passes already?
Would there even be anything left for them?
Zhang Guozhong was so angry at the little brat that he nearly laughed. He even had the nerve to turn the accusation back on him?
As it turned out, Wen Jiu did have the nerve, because he had a trump card.
Wen Jiu pointed confidently at President Feng beneath the tree, utterly convinced he was in the right. "Besides, President Feng is so delicate. How could you bear to tire him out?"
Zhang Guozhong suddenly stalled. "...Huh?"
Who? Who was delicate?
Zhang Guozhong slowly turned to look at the man Wen Jiu had pressed into a seat beneath the tree, where he had already been resting for half an hour. The man looked perfectly composed, radiating a Buddhist glow. "Me."
"..."
Wen Jiu said, "If he stays out in the sun any longer, he'll melt into a puddle with a sizzle! Director, how could you?"
Feng Chi agreed obediently. "Yes, that's me."
"..."
[President Feng: Mm-hmm, yes, that's me. I'm the delicate one my wife is talking about.]
[Hahaha, President Feng's already entered a meditative trance. Who would've thought he nearly spat out a mouthful of water himself half an hour ago? [doge]]
[President Feng: Sorry for the spectacle. My wife really is that awesome.]
[Hahaha, when it comes to talking back, my boy hasn't lost once in all his years since debuting. Rat-a-tat-tat, like a machine gun.]
[Go, wifey! Let the director witness your power too.]
Wen Jiu said, "What's more, you never said we had to harvest by hand. Not only did I borrow a machine, I even got it into the field. Isn't that awesome?"
Zhang Guozhong froze. He really hadn't specified that.
"But I handed you sickles! Doesn't that mean I wanted you to harvest by hand?!"
Wen Jiu ducked his head back into the cab. "What? Speak up. I can't see you."
Zhang Guozhong was furious. "...I!"
"Chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug!"
Zhang Guozhong: (╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻
[Hahahaha, holy shit, there's always a higher mountain.]
[Finally, someone who can put this director in his place.]
[Sure enough, decent people fear shameless people, and shameless people fear people even more shameless.]
[Sure enough, bratty kids are only fun when someone else is raising them. Put myself in his shoes and my lungs would explode with anger.]
Wen Jiu drove off again in his outrageously cool farm machine, chugging into the distance. Shen Huaian waved, then turned to look at Wen Jiu with a gaze that was practically worshipful.
From that day on, Wen Jiu would become the second most formidable person in his heart.
First place belonged to his older brother, Shen Qianshan, who had painstakingly raised him, who was decisive and commanding outside the home, managing the entire corporation, and who could do anything at home, serving as both father and mother.
And so Shen Huaian blinked his puppy-dog eyes at his deity and said, "Second Brother, I'm sticking with you from now on!"
"Hey!" Wen Jiu tossed up one hand and patted his little bro's head with the air of a big shot. "Stick with your second brother, and I guarantee you'll eat and drink the best!"
Only after saying it did he belatedly realize something. "Who's Big Brother?"
Someone's actually more awesome than me?
So thought Wen Jiu, who had already let it go to his head.
Shen Huaian said, "My brother!"
Wen Jiu: ...Sorry for the disrespect. Gomen nasai (I'm sorry).