With Wen Jiu's strength, he could have hit his target without waiting for the wind, but as luck would have it, a gust blew past just as he threw the flour.
This time, the wind wasn't nearly so obliging.
Everyone watched helplessly as the flour flew into the air, abruptly changed direction, and plastered itself straight onto the young man's face.
Wen Jiu: "Pfft-"
Silence fell for three seconds before everyone burst out laughing.
Shen Huaian even broke out his technically demanding, breath-holding, pitch-shifting laugh again, the infectious sound echoing over the courtyard for ages. "Hahaha, ha~ha! Hahaha, honk honk honk!"
"Quack quack quack quack!"
[Honk honk honk, wifey really is a born comedian.]
[Someone fucking help me, I'm going to pass out laughing, quack quack quack.]
[There's no saving them. Take them straight to the crematorium. The hospital's already full.]
[I'm losing my mind laughing. Can someone cover Shen Huaian's mouth? Hahaha, fucking hell, I can't take it!]
[I think even the villagers passing by stopped to laugh, hahaha. Wifey's identity as a comedian is really going to stick now.]
[Idiot! Aren't comedians actors too? Do you have something against comedians, person above? [doge]]
[Holy shit, hahaha, don't bring up that meme... Huh? My neighbor's knocking on my door.]
[I can't tell which of these two is funnier.]
[I can't decide whether to laugh at these two or the comments first.]
[Shut up. Wifey is the chosen one, okay? Show some respect for the founding patriarch of goofballs.]
[Has Wen Jiu finally run out of options and decided to become a variety-show comedian?]
[Maybe he's out of tricks. Taking a different route makes it easier to get popular.]
[Guards, drag those two idiots above out of here.]
[Hater, have you gotten cocky, or do you think this lady can't lift her knife anymore?]
Of everyone there, Feng Chi was the only one who still remembered to protect his wife's image.
"Boohoo, I hate this!"
Wen Jiu stood there as the man gently brushed the flour off his eyes, wishing he could wipe out every last bit of wind in the world.
"Even the fucking wind is out to get me!"
Feng Chi led him toward the water pump, his voice gentle. "Yes, it's the wind's fault."
Wen Jiu said, "Then can you use your money superpower to get rid of it?"
"...I'm afraid not."
Wen Jiu felt even worse.
"Why is it so hard for me to show off just once?" Wen Jiu turned toward the sound after speaking. "Shen Huaian, stop laughing!"
Shen Huaian, who was in the opposite direction: "...Pfft, hahahaha, honk honk honk, quack quack quack!"
Wen Jiu: ￣へ￣凸
"All right, turn your face this way." Feng Chi gently wiped the flour from Wen Jiu's face and said to the dazed assistant beside them, "A towel."
"Oh, right." The young female assistant hurriedly handed one over.
Everyone watched quietly as the man wet the towel, wrung it out, and wiped Wen Jiu's face clean.
Even Shen Huaian gradually stopped laughing, clutching his chest like Xi Shi and looking ready to pass out.
This ship is killing me!
[Fucking hell, those Lin Shuheng fans from earlier, come take a look at what naturally cool-toned fair skin really looks like.]
[Tsk tsk, that face is like a peeled egg. I want to touch it.]
[I want to touch it too, +1.]
Feng Chi lowered his gaze. Wen Jiu hadn't put on any makeup that morning, and after a whole morning out in the sun, his skin had only looked a little dull. Once washed with water, it was fair and soft, his features all the more exquisite and beautiful.
His agitation had left a faint pink flush on his cheeks and a little redness at the corners of his eyes. Standing before the naturally aloof Feng Chi, he looked even more delicate and charming.
The chief director waved a hand, and the cameraman zoomed straight in, practically shoving the lens into their faces.
[Holy shit, President Feng's eyes are so gentle when he looks at wifey.]
[Is President Feng staring in a daze? He seems a little strange right now.]
[A little strange? He looks like he wants to take wifey home and swallow him whole. Tsk tsk! With that look in his eyes, I wouldn't believe for a second that President Feng isn't having a few thoughts right now.]
[I wanted to say this earlier. When President Feng washed wifey's face, wifey didn't resist at all, and everything he said and did was so natural. Sisters, what does that tell us?]
[[lights cigarette] It tells us President Feng usually waits on wifey like this. It's become second nature.]
[Holy shit! It would be fucking unreasonable for them not to get married now.]
[Holy shit! It would be fucking unreasonable for them not to get married now.]
"W-what are you doing?"
Wen Jiu was still a little embarrassed, and being stared at by the man like that actually made him feel a little shy too.
Feng Chi wished he could take him straight home that instant and keep him locked in their room day and night. To hell with the stupid variety show-he wouldn't film any more of it.
In the end, however, he merely restrained himself and let go, turning sideways as he said, "Nothing."
That afternoon, the guests needed to visit three villagers' homes separately, still divided into three groups.
But there was a change in personnel.
"Just now, President Li received a phone call and withdrew from filming due to an unexpected situation at home," the chief director said. "We now need to reassign the members. One person from the three-person group will be chosen to join Lin Shuheng. Any volunteers?"
Shen Huaian: ...How is this not forcing my hand?
Shen Huaian turned to look at the Lasting CP. Wen Jiu was saying something, and the man dipped his head slightly to listen closely, then gave an innocent, uncomprehending smile.
Shen Huaian gritted his teeth. He could put up with an idiot, but his ship couldn't have a bad ending.
What Wen Jiu had actually asked Feng Chi was, "What could have happened to the Li Family? Did your people have a hand in it?"
"No. Perhaps the Li Family offended someone else."
Wen Jiu gave him a suspicious look. Feng Chi met his gaze without flinching, his expression utterly innocent.
On closer inspection, he even looked a little aggrieved, as though Wen Jiu's suspicion had hurt him.
"Fine, if it wasn't you, it wasn't you... What's that expression supposed to mean?"
Wen Jiu asked uncertainly, "Do you think I feel sorry for him? That I'm on his side?"
The man nodded slightly.
Wen Jiu: I'm stunned, bro.
"He's harassed me for all these years. How could I possibly feel sorry for him? I'd love for something to happen to his family!"
Wen Jiu said through gritted teeth, "Don't slander me again, understand? And you're definitely not allowed to feel wronged over crap like this!"
So delicate!
You're a big shot, the male lead of this book! How can even something this trivial upset you?
Did Big Boss Feng really think he, Wen Xiaojiu, was that stupid, that overflowing with sympathy?
"All right," Feng Chi agreed obediently, then asked, "Whose side are you on, then?"
Wasn't that a pointless question?
Wen Jiu gave the big boss an elegant eye roll and whispered, "I'm already married to you. Of course I'm on your side!"
The corners of Feng Chi's thin lips lifted slightly, and he replied just as quietly, "You're so good to me, hubby~"
Just talk normally. Fuck, that was cheating again!
[Oh my goose, what little secrets between husbands is my ship sharing in public now? Is there something I, a VIP, am not allowed to hear?]
[Why is wifey blushing again??? Fuck, why is this man's smile so swoonworthy?! He's definitely flirting with wifey! Chief director, don't be ungrateful. Shove the camera right into their faces and film!!! [frenzied][growing increasingly agitated]]
The chief director was busy protecting his own ship.
Seeing Shen Huaian gritting his teeth, Zhang Guozhong thought he was unwilling. He walked over, patted the young man's shoulder, and said earnestly:
"You're a regular guest. We need to show how loving the Peach Blossom Spring House family is. We can't let the guests see that we're isolating him."
Shen Huaian: ?
[Welcome to the chief director's grand display of bullshitting.]
[My grandma sometimes uses this exact tone when she tricks me into doing chores.]
[Be honest, director. You just want to watch them argue, don't you?]
"I never said I wouldn't agree." Shen Huaian glanced at the actual couple, signaling for him to look. "Even if I had to tear myself apart, I'd never tear my ship apart!"
"Good! As a Perpetual Motion Machines shipper, that's exactly the resolve you should have." Thoroughly satisfied, Zhang Guozhong returned to his spot.
"Ahem! Then Shen Huaian will join Lin Shuheng. Now, choose which farmer's home you'll visit in order of this morning's rankings. The choices are Old Wang's, Old Cai's, and Village Chief Liu's." Zhang Guozhong looked at Double Jade. "You two get first choice."
Yu Qing and Shen Yu exchanged a glance and said with a smile, "Village Chief Liu's. We promised last episode that we'd visit his home."
In reality, it was because Village Chief Liu's home had the heaviest farm workload. He raised plenty of poultry and had a vegetable garden in the fields to tend as well. Yu Qing and Shen Yu were the oldest there and wanted to look after the younger guys.
The show's longtime fans knew this too, and the comments were now full of praise for the Double Jade Husbands' gentleness and kindness.
Zhang Guozhong said, "All right. Next group, President Feng and Wen Jiu."
Feng Chi instinctively looked at Wen Jiu, who said directly, "Old Wang's. We borrowed his rice harvester this morning and haven't had a chance to thank him yet."
"Very good. It's settled, then." The chief director waved a hand, and every department got into position. "Let's go!"
Tune in tomorrow for:
President Feng serves Biluochun tea to a village mutt; Wen Xiaojiu battles a rooster.