Meanwhile, Shen Huaian, whom the director had coaxed with "don't isolate the guests," turned around and isolated himself instead.
Despite his size, he curled into a tiny ball in the corner to trim vegetables, making the viewers and fans practically nosebleed from cuteness.
Even the cameraman found it funny. He came over and asked, "Why aren't you sitting in the middle of the courtyard? There's a lounge chair there."
"Can't you tell?" Shen Huaian glanced at Lin Shuheng, who was sitting on a little stool beside the lounge chair, holding his nose as he mixed chicken feed. His tone was fierce. "I'm isolating him!"
Lin Shuheng gave a muffled, "Heh."
[Not gonna lie, this is kind of cute.]
[One person isolating another person.]
[Does Shen Huaian know how cute he is?]
[Hahaha, baby, all we see is you isolating yourself.]
[I'm dying. Three livestreams, three different vibes. Village Chief Liu's place next door is the heartwarming grown-ups group, and this is the awkward kids group.]
[What about Old Wang's place?]
[Pfft hahahaha, that's the chickens-flying-and-dogs-jumping group.]
That caught the other viewers' attention. Some of the more curious ones switched to Old Wang's livestream, and one look had them bursting out laughing!
Chickens flying and dogs jumping-literally.
Rewind to fifteen minutes earlier-
Wen Jiu wasn't much good at chess, so the task of playing Old Wang naturally fell to Feng Chi.
But getting Wen Jiu to actually lie around in the courtyard was hardly possible. He couldn't sit still. Before he had watched even half a game from the lounge chair, he got up to inspect the chickens and ducks in the backyard.
Old Wang's wife had passed away early, and he had been getting by with just a dog for company all these years. Unable to bear the loneliness either, he had raised a large flock of chickens and ducks in the backyard.
As Wen Jiu headed toward the chicken coop, he happened upon the little creatures fighting over food.
Good grief! A rooster with beautiful plumage had not only monopolized the entire feed bowl, but was guarding it and refusing to let any other chickens eat!
Whenever one approached, it stretched out its neck and pecked.
Was that any way to behave?
Wen Jiu immediately rolled up his sleeves and stormed over.
But the rooster was sharp. It could tell that Wen Jiu was a paper tiger who looked fierce but had no attacking power, and wasn't remotely afraid of him.
Even when he reached its side, it kept clucking and chowing down.
Wen Jiu crouched to lecture it. "What you're doing is wrong. How can a boy bully girls? You're the pillar of this family. Never mind not protecting them-you're actually bullying them!"
"That's going way too far!"
The rooster: "Cluck, cluck, cluck!"
[The hens: he really did that. I'm crying my eyes out. [doge]]
[Hahaha, neither President Feng nor Grandpa has his mind on the chessboard. They've already looked over three times.]
"Hey, you little brat!"
Seeing how brazen the rooster was, Wen Jiu picked up the feed bowl and set it down where the hens had gathered.
"None for it. You girls eat... Ow! Motherfucker, who dared bite your daddy!"
Wen Jiu whipped around in fury. The rooster stood right behind his butt, every feather on its neck flared out, looking utterly ferocious.
Clearly, this was a fighting rooster.
Wen Xiaojiu swallowed. After assessing both sides' strength and reaching a conclusion, he promptly got up and ran!
"Motherfucker! You dare bully your grandpa!"
Wen Jiu barely stepped over the feed bowl without trampling the hens' food, but he startled the hens he was protecting. For a moment, the flock scattered in a chorus of clucks.
Wen Jiu ran off to find a stick, hastily looking back.
The rooster sprang three feet into the air, its wings flapping loudly. "Cluck, cluck, cluck-"
Holy shit!
It was a fucking flying chicken, too!
Clack! The chess piece in Old Wang's hand dropped.
Feng Chi looked back and, for once, fell silent.
His wife was actually being chased all over the place by a chicken.
With a flock of hens clucking wildly behind him, too.
[Um... welcome to "A New Chapter in the Peach Garden Seclusion Diaries: Wen Xiaojiu versus the Rooster."]
[Oh my heavens, Xiao Baga's here. Things are getting increasingly chaotic.]
[Hahaha, it's so loud over here... wait! What's that stuck to Xiao Baga's face???]
Wen Xiaojiu still hadn't found a stick. He wanted to fight the rooster barehanded but didn't quite dare. At last, reinforcements arrived-
Xiao Baga gave a fierce "Woof!" Delighted, Wen Jiu pointed at the rooster in front of him and shouted, "Xiao Baga, get it!"
"Woof, awooo~"
Something furry rubbed against his calf. Wen Jiu instinctively looked down. ???
Xiao Baga raised his head, gazing at him with one watery eye.
As for the other eye...
Wen Jiu bent over and tugged at the glue trap stuck to half the dog's head. Xiao Baga immediately howled in pain.
Wen Jiu: ...
[Hahahaha, I'm dying. Where did Xiao Baga pick up a glue trap?!]
[This is so fucking dramatic. Wifey runs into absolutely everything. Look how worried he is!]
[How much sorrow can one know? A dog's head stuck to a glue trap. [holding a flower in mouth]]
[You above, you sure have a way with words. Hahaha, I can't. Wifey's expression is killing me, honk honk honk.]
"Good grief, where did you go running wild just now?"
Instead of reinforcements, he had gotten another little troublemaker. Wen Jiu's head was about to explode.
Without warning, he was pecked on the butt again. Wen Xiaojiu jumped on the spot and completely bristled.
"That's the second time! You smug rooster, you really think I can't do anything to you?"
With the little yellow dog in tow, Wen Jiu swore he would catch this chicken if it killed him. "Xiao Baga! Help me pin it down first!"
Xiao Baga immediately charged. "Woof, woof!"
The rooster turned and took off. "Cluck, cluck, cluck!"
Wen Jiu chased after the dog, one hand still covering his butt. "Now you know to run? Not a chance!"
You dared bite your grandpa! I'll make you pay for it!
The ducks, which had been watching from the sidelines only to get caught in the crossfire: "Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack!"
And so the viewers arriving from the other livestreams were greeted with this utterly chaotic scene.
Chickens and ducks flew everywhere, while man and dog leaped about.
The two chess players finally couldn't stay seated any longer. Feng Chi pinched the bridge of his nose with a headache, while Old Wang's eyes were filled with worry and anxiety.
These were all his chickens, his ducks, and his dog!
Oh dear! The worry was enough to kill him.
Half an hour later.
Wen Jiu sat on a little stool, gripping the rooster by the base of its wings, grinning like the ultimate invincible supervillain.
"You little punk. I caught you in the end, didn't I? You dared bite your daddy's butt. Who gave you the nerve, hmm?"
The rooster finally behaved, letting out a brief, disgruntled breath. "Cluck."
Wen Jiu smugly patted its head.
The little yellow dog was now lying in Grandpa's arms, whimpering as Grandpa worked on the glue trap on his face.
Feng Chi had been entrusted with the important task of holding down Xiao Baga's paws.
Holding the dog's legs with both hands, the man looked at the wrecked backyard and sighed helplessly.
Now they really had work to do.
Old Wang still hadn't taken off the reading glasses he had put on for chess. He dabbed some grease onto the dog's fur with his fingers, then rubbed in a little flour-and-water mixture, puzzled.
"These little fellows are usually so well behaved."
Wen Jiu shook the culprit and called out guiltily, "Rooster for sale, an egg-laying rooster, the fighter jet of roosters..."
Feng Chi: ...
[I'm dying. Look how guilty Wifey looks.]
[That sales pitch is exactly the fucking same as the one in our village, right down to the pauses.]
[President Feng seems to have sighed again, hahaha. Little troublemakers sure aren't easy to raise.]
The glue trap was finally removed from the little yellow dog's face. Wen Jiu put down the rooster he had been holding for half an hour, patted its head, and got up to clean up the scene.
Old Wang wanted to help, but Wen Xiaojiu ushered him back to the lounge chair.
"I made the mess, so I'll take responsibility. You two keep playing chess. I'll sweep!"
Feng Chi was worried. Wen Jiu shouldered the broom and thumped his chest in assurance. "I definitely won't cause trouble this time!"
The little yellow dog also gave a woof, then wagged his tail and followed the beauty away.
Wen Jiu seemed to have an inexhaustible supply of brute energy. He had been brimming with life since early morning, catching fish and harvesting rice without a problem. Even while cleaning, he hummed and swung the broom around, with an endless stream of things to say to the little yellow dog.
He noticed that the little yellow dog seemed particularly fond of one chick, carrying a leaf over to nuzzle it. The chick, however, grew annoyed with the nuzzling and clucked as it dodged elsewhere.
Wen Jiu said, "Xiao Baga, aren't you a little too fickle in love?"
The little yellow dog turned and gave him a lilting call. "Awoo, woof~"
Wen Jiu was so curious that he put down his broom and called out to Grandpa Wang. Without even looking up, Old Wang said, "Because it's a hen~"
Wen Jiu: ???
☆
Preview: A dare-Lasting CP, please recite with feeling...
A final note: