"Sorry to disturb your rest," Meng Yulan said.
"I'm all right. I just can't understand why someone like you would be so unable to see a way out, Sister." Tang Zhuyun lowered her eyes. "Even someone like me, whose reputation is in ruins, is still trying to live, isn't she?"
At the thought, she wanted to curse.
It would have been one thing if her family's circumstances were difficult; she could change her life with her own two hands.
The problem was that her predecessor had left too many messes behind, and she had no idea how long it would take to clean them up.
For instance, there were the people she had offended, her ruined reputation, and Linlin's biological father... all kinds of ticking bombs that could go off at any moment.
Even so, she didn't want to die.
There was much about this family that she couldn't bear to leave behind. Who knew whether she could live another life, or what she would become if she did?
Being reborn like this, they were already winners in life. If they weren't content, they deserved to be struck by lightning.
"Because," Meng Yulan said, "I don't want to marry the Prince of Jin."
Tang Zhuyun: "..."
The Prince of Jin had really come to a sorry pass: a thousand fingers pointed at him, and ten thousand people hated him.
Of the two women who were about to be granted marriages to him, one had thought of claiming to be "afflicted with a terrible illness" to escape the marriage, while the other had been even more direct: she would rather die than marry him.
"To be honest, I don't know what kind of man the Prince of Jin is," Tang Zhuyun said truthfully. "But from the limited contact I've had with him, he seems reasonably sensible, and not as tyrannical and cruel as the rumors say... Sister, why don't you try getting to know him better?"
"Even if the Prince of Jin were an immortal banished to the mortal realm, I still wouldn't marry him," Meng Yulan said. "I won't marry him not because he isn't good enough, but because there's already someone else in my heart."
Tang Zhuyun hadn't expected to hear such explosive news and didn't know what to say for a moment.
The more she knew, the faster she would die. She really had no desire to probe or peer into Meng Yulan's heart.
Whatever the matter, as long as she ate melon with the crowd, she could enjoy herself without any danger.
But when she knew a secret no one else did, that was no longer eating melon. It was eating a bomb, one that could blow her face bloody at any moment.
But Meng Yulan seemed to have too much she wanted to pour out, and continued, "I'm nineteen this year..."
Tang Zhuyun: I'm twenty, but I still want to call you big sister.
"From thirteen to nineteen, I turned down countless marriage proposals over those six years, all so I could wait for him. But in the end, I couldn't overcome fate, couldn't overcome an imperial edict... If I can't give him my body and heart, I'd rather die!"
What a strong-willed woman.
What could Tang Zhuyun say?
She didn't know the whole story, so she could only say, "Actually, I think the imperial edict hasn't been issued yet. Sister Meng, if you really don't want to marry him, think of a way, but don't make things hard on yourself."
"The emperor has already said it in front of everyone. What room is there to turn things around?" Meng Yulan's face was full of sorrow. "The most heartbreaking thing is that now, I might not even be able to die if I want to. I can't even manage this much. I'm so useless."
So even a paragon had moments of such self-doubt and despondency.
Tang Zhuyun felt uncomfortable, but she and Meng Yulan were, after all, only casual acquaintances speaking of intimate matters. It was no longer appropriate to say anything more.
Meng Yulan continued, "I met you for the first time yesterday, but I'd heard about you before that."
Tang Zhuyun blushed.
There it was. Her predecessor had done evil, and retribution had come again.
But Meng Yulan said, "To tell the truth, I envy you so much. I envy how you dare to say it aloud when you like someone, how you can be yourself freely, without being bound by rules..."
Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute, Sister! What's there to envy about being lovestruck?
Your outlook is a little skewed.
"After meeting you yesterday, I found you really were the carefree woman I imagined, unafraid of the world's judgment, so I liked you even more," Meng Yulan said. "I didn't expect we'd have another chance to meet, though I didn't expect it to be under these circumstances."
Tang Zhuyun's face grew even redder. The praise made her feel terribly embarrassed.
Through this strange twist of fate, she hadn't expected Meng Yulan to think so highly of her.
Meng Yulan pointed to an exquisite little three-drawer vanity box on the dressing table. "Zhuyun, sorry to trouble you, but could you bring that box over to me?"
Tang Zhuyun did as she asked.
The vanity box was made of huanghuali wood. She didn't know what was inside, but it was heavy.
Meng Yulan struggled to sit up, and the ugly red mark beneath her neck was mostly hidden from view.
As she pulled open the drawers of the vanity box, she said, "I know you didn't mean it from the bottom of your heart when you said you hated the Prince of Jin yesterday. You like him..."
In her youth, she too had coquettishly told that man she "hated" him, while her heart had been filled with sweetness.
Tang Zhuyun: No, not at all. Don't talk nonsense.
"But there's someone in my heart, and I truly have no interest in him. I knew long ago that my family had such plans, so I really did dislike him. Now that I think about it, what did any of this have to do with the Prince of Jin? It was my own fault. I simply wasn't blessed."
Tang Zhuyun: Sister, you really don't have to say nice things about the Prince of Jin. I really don't like him!
The drawers Meng Yulan opened nearly blinded Tang Zhuyun.
All three tiers were filled with exquisite jewelry of every kind. There was gold, silver, pearls, and precious stones-everything one could imagine.
"These are all things my elders have given me over the years. I kept the ones I liked here." Meng Yulan closed the box again and pushed it toward Tang Zhuyun. "I'm giving them to you as a gift for your trousseau. May you and the Prince of Jin live in harmony and happiness and fly wing to wing like a pair of lovebirds. Let it be a token of my affection for you, and an apology to the Prince of Jin for dragging him into this when he was innocent."
Tang Zhuyun repeatedly declined. "Sister, I can't accept them."
They were far too precious. No matter what, she couldn't take them.
"Please accept them. I don't have much time left," Meng Yulan said.
Although her family would keep a close watch on her, as long as she was determined to die, if hanging herself didn't work, she could swallow gold, and if swallowing gold didn't work, she could go on a hunger strike...
When news of her death reached him thousands of miles away, it would let him know that his Yulan had remained steadfastly devoted to him all her life.
Thinking of the person who filled her thoughts, Meng Yulan wept like rain.
Tang Zhuyun felt as though a stone had lodged in her heart, making her terribly uncomfortable.
Birth and family background, beauty and refinement... none of it had given Meng Yulan an advantage on the road to happiness. Thinking about it made her terribly uncomfortable.
At first, even as Tang Zhuyun sighed over her plight, she could still watch the fire from the opposite shore. But Meng Yulan genuinely liked her, and even "before her death," she was thinking of leaving her beloved jewelry to her.
Tang Zhuyun felt she had no way to repay that affection.
So she pulled out her handkerchief and wiped Meng Yulan's tears, lowering her voice as she said, "Don't cry, Sister. The imperial edict hasn't been issued yet. If you really don't want to marry the Prince of Jin, I'll help you think of a way."
She never liked owing anyone a favor, and she especially couldn't bear it when someone laid their heart bare to her.
Meng Yulan didn't quite believe her, however. She said self-deprecatingly, "There's no way out now. But I still thank you. I only regret that I didn't meet you sooner."
"All right, it's not time to talk like that yet. Listen to me!"