Meng Yulan, however, was clearly determined to die and did not believe Tang Zhuyun. "I know you mean well, but you don't understand how fearsome imperial power is. The emperor has already spoken in front of so many people. There's no way he would take it back."
"As long as the final decree hasn't been issued, anything is possible."
"Zhuyun, may I call you that?" Meng Yulan took her hand. "I know you mean well, but you silly girl, you shouldn't have said that."
Seeking benefit and avoiding harm was human instinct. Tang Zhuyun had nothing to gain by involving herself in her affairs.
That was also why she liked Tang Zhuyun more and more. Tang Zhuyun was rash but sincere, far better than noble young ladies like them, shackled and wearing masks all day long.
"If it were anyone else, I wouldn't interfere either." Tang Zhuyun told her in one breath about preparing medicine so she could "contract a terrible illness."
"Sister Meng, I'll give you the medicine!"
Meng Yulan stared at her in a daze, never having imagined that she could have such a shocking idea.
After a long while, she gave a bitter smile. "Zhuyun, you really are too silly. If you give me the medicine, what will you do?"
They couldn't both fall gravely ill at the same time. Anyone would be suspicious.
"I have another reason," Tang Zhuyun said.
She had originally agonized over which one to use. Now things had worked out: she and Meng Yulan could each have one.
"What reason?"
"I can't tell you that for now, Sister, but I can definitely get away unscathed too."
She was not a virgin. That alone was enough to save her life.
But Meng Yulan refused. "No, that's your way of saving your life. I won't take it. Besides, even if I avoid the Prince of Jin this time, I won't be able to avoid someone else in the future. And what's more..."
She smiled bitterly. "Zhuyun, how does your family treat you?"
"Very well!" Tang Zhuyun said without hesitation. "You know what my reputation was like before, but my father and my elder brother have always treated me well. They never gave up on me."
She had always been deeply grateful for that, even though what had happened to her predecessor had nothing to do with her.
"I envy you even more now. I was wondering how you came to have such a warm, innocent nature. It really is because your family dotes on you."
"But I heard that you're quite favored at Duke Meng's Residence too, Sister..."
That was half truth and half consolation.
The truth was that Meng Yulan really was treated the best of all the unmarried girls at Duke Meng's Residence; everyone knew that. The consolation was that Tang Zhuyun had just seen Duke Meng's obsequious manner before the Prince of Jin, so she knew just how much of that favor was inflated.
"You're right. I'm very favored. Compared with my other sisters, I have no reason to complain," Meng Yulan said. "But once I contract a terrible illness, I'll become a disgrace to my parents and drag Mother down... She's already having a hard enough time."
Tang Zhuyun had never eaten pork, but she had seen pigs run. She understood a thing or two about the struggles between wives and concubines in great households.
"But Sister, if you die, won't that affect your mother too?"
"If I die, at least it'll all be over once and for all..." Grief welled up in Meng Yulan. "Every day I live is torment. I miss him, so very much..."
Tang Zhuyun wanted to ask, if she missed him so much, why didn't she run away and find him?
She could not imagine six years of longing without a glimmer of daylight.
Yet she also understood that, in the end, hers was a modern person's way of thinking. Meng Yulan could never do such a thing.
She felt deep sympathy for Meng Yulan. If Meng Yulan dared to lose her virginity as her predecessor had, her own family would probably be the first to have her killed.
Meng Yulan was right too. If her marriage to the Prince of Jin went ahead, she would betray her longing and her steadfast devotion; if it didn't, she would let her parents down and drag her mother into a life of hardship... Why was it so difficult?
If Meng Yulan really had no way out, what about the Prince of Jin?
"Sister!" Tang Zhuyun said. "There's still the Prince of Jin! If he objects to the marriage, wouldn't that have nothing to do with you? At most, people would mock you a little, but with your reputation, and the Prince of Jin's reputation being so bad that everyone wants to beat him, people would sympathize with you in the end!"
Meng Yulan stared at Tang Zhuyun, utterly unable to understand how so many ideas could fit inside her little head.
They soared across the sky like heavenly steeds, free of all restraint.
What a free spirit to long to be.
Tang Zhuyun rubbed her chin. "Let me think how we can get the Prince of Jin to call off the marriage."
The Prince of Jin probably wanted to please the emperor too. Getting him to defy the emperor would be far too difficult.
They did not seem to have any important bargaining chips that could tempt the Prince of Jin.
Meng Yulan looked at her. "Zhuyun, do you know the Prince of Jin well?"
Tang Zhuyun: I know him my @#¥%...
"Not very well, but wasn't his daughter in poor health before? She's with me now, recuperating. She's a lovable child."
"She's the little girl who was with you yesterday, isn't she?"
"Yes."
"I could tell she likes you very much."
"Yes, affection goes both ways, just like you and me, Sister. Didn't we hit it off like old friends at first sight?" Tang Zhuyun said with a smile. "Actually, going by age, I'm the elder sister. I'm already twenty this year, but I feel you're more like an elder sister."
Meng Yulan smiled. "I'm very glad I got to know you at the end, Zhuyun. These are all things I like. I'm giving them to someone I like, so please accept them."
She pushed the things toward Tang Zhuyun again. "Before I die, I want to find them a new owner. And I'm not entirely without selfish motives. I have something to ask of you..."
"I can't accept these things, and you can't die either. But you can tell me what you need... Didn't I say we could think of another way to deal with the Prince of Jin? Look, even I managed to get the better of him, and you're so much cleverer!"
That was something of a boast. She had taken Yanran in entirely because the Prince of Jin had threatened and enticed her into it.
But to encourage Meng Yulan now, she would boast if she had to.
"The maid who was there when you came in just now is called Lüzhu. She's my wet nurse's daughter. She's served me since we were little, and we grew up together," Meng Yulan said. "She has a great many letters of mine hidden away..."
Tang Zhuyun immediately understood who the letters were for, and her eyes grew warm.
Oh, this devoted girl, so devoted that it broke one's heart!
"Please keep them for me. I'm afraid they'll be discovered with her and she'll be implicated," Meng Yulan said. "If he returns to the capital one day, please give them to him. Let him know that Meng Yulan never betrayed him, never..."
At the mention of the man who filled her every thought, the man almost etched into her bones, tears poured down Meng Yulan's face.
Fate played cruel tricks.
The two of them had been childhood sweethearts from well-matched families, and their mothers were close friends. She had even heard her mother ask her in private whether she wanted to marry him... Of course she did. Marrying him had been her dream since childhood.
For his sake, she wanted to become the best woman she could be.
But before the marriage was settled, something happened to his family, and the entire household was exiled to the border. From then on, there had been no word of them.