When I Was Born, There Was No Peace

After explaining the mission, Ji Yin saw Lu Yuan out. Lu Yuan was worried about the dangers of the trip, and neither of them spoke along the way.

At the gates of the Internal Affairs Bureau, Friar Ji Yin let out a long sigh. "I don't know if I'm doing the right thing."

"This was my own choice. Whatever happens, you don't need to feel guilty, sir." Lu Yuan was at peace with it. The hardships of life had taught him that even a chance to risk his life was precious, because at least his fate was still in his own hands.

Ji Yin nodded. He pressed his right fist to his chest and gave Lu Yuan his blessing:

"May glory light your path!"

Lu Yuan looked at Ji Yin in confusion.

"It's a custom among friars," Ji Yin said with a smile. "You should answer, 'May I return as I set out.'"

Lu Yuan understood and pressed his right fist to his chest in turn:

"May I return as I set out!"

It was after four in the afternoon by the time Lu Yuan got home.

After making dinner for Xiao Bing, he returned to his room and began studying the intelligence materials from the Internal Affairs Bureau.

Besides instructions on how to contact the cult organization in Jiangzhou, the materials also contained some basic information about the cult, including its slogans, tenets and methods of prayer.

If he didn't know any of that, he would definitely be exposed and then killed, and his little sister would get fifty extra points on her college entrance exam.

Lu Yuan studied the materials and committed them to memory, while also finding the cultists utterly ridiculous.

The cult called itself the Holy Church, and its deity was known as the God King of the Heavens. According to the cult, the world of the Divine Land would soon be destroyed, and all the Hua People would die. But the God King of the Heavens took pity on humanity and left them a way out, sending divine birds to save the Divine Land. Humans chosen by the divine birds were divine envoys. Only by obeying the divine envoys' orders could humanity be saved.

All cults followed the same formula: prophesy an apocalypse and offer a way to salvation. With those two ingredients in place, a slapdash cult could be thrown together.

In short, its doctrines were riddled with holes.

But one thing puzzled Lu Yuan in particular.

He had been there when Zhang Baocheng died, and he had seen with his own eyes how the cultists fought without fear of death. He found it hard to imagine how a cult so full of holes could have such power to bewitch people.

A rational person would naturally have trouble understanding how cultists thought. Just then, Xiao Bing came home from school.

He couldn't let her see the materials in his hands, so Lu Yuan put them away and ate with her.

Today they had Buddha Jumps Over the Wall...

Xiao Bing had long since gone numb to her brother's cooking.

She just ate, without bothering to praise it.

Of course, Lu Yuan didn't care about that. As long as Xiao Bing enjoyed her food, that was enough.

As long as she didn't blame him if she ended up fat as a ball, hahaha.

"Xiao Bing, do me a favor. Tomorrow, use a computer at school to register me for the written portion of the college entrance exam. You know my ID number."

Lu Yuan had just remembered that registration for the written exam was tomorrow. Candidates had to register on a computer, and his family couldn't afford one.

If only he'd registered at the Internal Affairs Bureau today. If Ji Yin's computer could play cartoons, it could surely handle registration.

Xiao Bing made a gesture to reassure him, then asked, "You're not going to school again tomorrow?"

"I have something to do. I'll be away for a few days."

"What should I set the password to?"

"Use my birthday."

When they finished eating, Xiao Bing went to wash the dishes. Lu Yuan thought for a moment, then took out his bank card.

"There's still over fifty thousand yuan in this card, including the eight thousand and change you gave me last time. The password is my birthday. You hold on to it for now."

Xiao Bing took the bank card and gave her brother a long look.

"Brother, where are you going?"

"Studying's been suffocating. I want to get out for a walk and clear my head." Lu Yuan laughed it off.

Xiao Bing didn't ask any more questions.

The siblings sat studying in the living room. Xiao Bing worked on practice problems, while Lu Yuan read his integrated science textbooks. Physics, chemistry and biology were relatively simple as a combined subject. As long as he became familiar with the textbooks, he could recover much of what he had forgotten. Maybe.

After reading for a while, Lu Yuan grew restless and spoke up to remind her:

"Xiao Bing, while I'm away, please take good care of Mom and Dad."

At his words, Xiao Bing snapped the lead in her mechanical pencil. She kept her head lowered.

"Okay. Brother, when are you coming back? Are you planning not to come back?"

"Of course not. I'll probably be back in a week."

Lu Yuan himself wasn't very confident. Danger lurked everywhere on the trip to Jiangzhou, and he didn't know when he would be able to complete the mission. But when he saw the worry in his sister's eyes, he said with a smile:

"I'm definitely taking the college entrance exam, right?"

Xiao Bing nodded. On that point, she believed Lu Yuan.

Neither of them spoke again. After washing up, they went back to their rooms to sleep.

Lu Yuan turned off the light and lay in bed, staring at the ceiling with his eyes open, unable to sleep for a long time. He really couldn't bear to leave his parents and sister.

As he tossed and turned, the door suddenly opened. Xiao Bing threw herself into her brother's arms and burst into tears.

"Brother, where are you going? Where on earth are you going?!"

Lu Yuan wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep.

From the moment Lu Yuan handed her the bank card, Xiao Bing had realized that he was definitely doing more than just "going out for a walk."

It was very possible he would go and never return.

Otherwise, her brother would never have asked her to take care of their parents.

Xiao Bing was quite clever; she just liked to play dumb and act cute in front of her brother.

Lu Yuan hugged Xiao Bing and wiped away her tears.

"Brother, isn't it good now? Mom's already gotten her medicine. What else do you want to do? Isn't it good here at home?" Xiao Bing's voice choked. "Brother, please don't go, okay?"

In the dark, Xiao Bing couldn't make out Lu Yuan's expression; she could only see his eyes. Just when she thought he would answer her with silence, Lu Yuan spoke.

"I had a dream a while ago." His voice was calm and distant. "I want to tell you about it now."

"In that dream, I didn't have a little sister, and Mom never got her medicine. She died of her illness before I took the college entrance exam.

"I didn't get into university. Not long after, Dad was killed in a traffic accident while delivering food one night.

"That year, I was twenty, with no family left in the world. The house had been sold long before, and I had nowhere to call home.

"Even so, a person has to live, even if it means merely scraping by.

"I worked to support myself while attending night classes at a vocational school. There, I applied myself and learned to cook well.

"After I finished my training, I worked at various jobs and saved up a tiny bit of money.

"I met a beautiful girl, and together we made plans and opened a restaurant.

"I thought I could use my own hardworking hands to build a happy life, marry a woman who loved me, and start a little family.

"That year, I was twenty-eight. She cheated me out of all my money, and I was left owing more than a million yuan.

"To pay off my debts, I started with a pancake stall.

"I was chased by city inspectors, bitten by stray dogs, kicked by thugs, blown about by the wind and drenched by the rain.

"I never stopped.

"The pancake stall gradually became a barbecue stand, then an open-air food stall with three sun umbrellas.

"That year, I was thirty-six. I paid off all my debts and took over a small storefront on the street. I'd had my eye on it for a long time. With a storefront, I wouldn't have to fear the rain or be chased from place to place.

"That night, I drank with a few officials. I needed a permit to open the shop, but if they weren't happy, I wouldn't get it.

"I'd never liked drinking, but to make them happy, I drank two bottles of baijiu.

"That night, I collapsed in a drain.

"I clearly remember the feeling of filthy water rising over my nose and mouth. It was suffocation with the stench of sewage.

"I wanted to get up, but I didn't have an ounce of strength left.

"At that moment, for the first time, I felt so tired, and the thought of giving up suddenly came to me.

"I thought, if I had another chance, I didn't want to die alone in a ditch like a stray dog.

"I wanted to be with my family forever.

"I wanted a few friends I could talk to.

"I wanted someone worthy of my affection.

"I wanted to stand on the earth with my head against the sky and my feet planted firm. Not to trample anyone underfoot, but simply to raise my head with pride and tell the world my name.

"I am Lu Yuan, Lu as in continent, Yuan as in faraway!!!"

Lu Yuan lowered his voice for those last words, but he couldn't suppress his furious roar at fate.

In the darkness, Xiao Bing trembled all over.

"Sorry I scared you." Lu Yuan calmed himself and spoke gently. "That was a terrible dream, of course."

"Dreams aren't real."

"Maybe." Lu Yuan stroked Xiao Bing's hair. "Xiao Bing, I want to get into the Four Greats. I want to give it everything I've got."

"Brother, I understand. I support you."

"But you have to promise me one thing."

Before leaving, Xiao Bing looked back:

"You're not allowed to dream of a world without me again."