Professor Tywin

That afternoon, Ravenclaw and Slytherin had History of Magic together.

In his previous life, William had been a science student, but he had been particularly interested in history.

History of Magic, however, took him completely by surprise. It was so dull it made him want to sleep.

Professor Binns drifted through the blackboard into the classroom, his body pearly white, and everyone jumped.

He was a ghost.

If he wore women's clothes, his entrance would probably have been as striking as Sadako's.

Professor Binns was very old, looking even older than Dumbledore.

He was wrinkled and pockmarked all over, not smooth or rounded in the least, but nobody wanted to polish him anyway.

There were many versions of the story of Professor Binns going around Hogwarts.

The official version was that, when Professor Binns was alive, he had got up to teach one day and accidentally left his body in an armchair by the Staff Room fire.

Ever since, he had gone about everything exactly as before, without the slightest change. He had not noticed that he was dead and had continued to teach conscientiously, carrying on his good work.

Now that was a role model for professors, one of the ten most inspiring people in the Wizarding World. Everyone should learn from him!

William found it hard to imagine Snape's spirit, still trailing his greasy hair, standing in the dungeon classroom after his death and tormenting generations of students with his sharp tongue.

Besides, William seriously doubted the official story.

This was blatant exploitation. They wouldn't even spare a ghost, making him carry on teaching without pay or food.

The heartless Wizarding World!

William felt even more strongly about it when Professor Binns began to speak at a leisurely pace about Emeric the Evil and Uric the Oddball in his hypnotic voice.

He wanted nothing more than to rescue Professor Binns immediately, so the school could get a different teacher.

William was not the only one who felt that way.

Professor Binns droned on in his dry, low, monotonous voice, like an ancient vacuum cleaner. The whole class grew drowsy, occasionally coming to their senses long enough to copy down a name or date before sinking back into a half-asleep state.

Cho's head bobbed up and down like a chick pecking at grain. Anyone who didn't know better would have thought she was enthralled and thoroughly agreed with Professor Binns.

Bobocha stared at her for a long time, then left a dark mark on her face with a paw. She did not react at all.

Bobocha swept a fluffy tail across her, and the History of Magic textbook fell onto the desk.

It was the textbook Cho had been using to prop up her flat chest and keep herself from falling onto the desk.

Without its support, her face plunged straight toward the desktop.

The poor little white rabbit was lying on the desk eating a carrot when a face came crashing straight down at it. Its eyes rolled back, and it fainted from fright once again.

The little Slytherin snakes' plan to avenge their Head of House had also come to nothing. They were simply too sleepy!

There's a traitor among us. The plan is off. Quick, go to sleep!

If there was one class everyone looked forward to most, it was undoubtedly Defence Against Dark Magic on Tuesday morning.

Defence Against Dark Magic was fascinating in itself, and the frightening school legend about a new professor every year made it even more mysterious!

When everyone arrived at the classroom for Professor Tywin's first Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson, he was not there.

They all sat down and took out their books, quills, and parchment. They were chatting when Tywin finally walked into the classroom.

Tywin wore well-fitted robes, and his short blond hair was immaculately groomed, making a stark contrast with Snape.

He smiled slightly. He carried no textbook, only a wand made of ebony.

The classroom quickly fell quiet, and many of the young witches gazed at Professor Tywin with lovestruck expressions.

He was undoubtedly a very charming wizard.

But chairs still squeaked and scraped around the room, and Professor Tywin made no attempt to stop it.

William recognized the Slytherin students responsible.

In fact, Ravenclaw and Slytherin shared more classes than the other houses did.

The school always scheduled two houses that got along well together: eagles with snakes, badgers with lions!

But things were a little different with this year's students. William had hurt their adorable Snake King-the greasy Snape had exploded-and there were always some who wanted to get back at him.

Making noise on purpose was one small measure the little Slytherin snakes had taken to get revenge on William.

It wasn't much fucking use; they were just doing it to annoy him.

"Good morning, everyone," Professor Tywin said gently. "I'm glad you've all got your textbook-Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection."

"It's a very old textbook. Hogwarts has used it for a hundred and twenty or a hundred and fifty years; I don't quite remember.

"But I do know that a portrait of its author, Professor Quentin Trimble, has hung on the wall of the Headmaster's Office for well over a hundred years."

"The fact that it has been used for so many years shows what a classic textbook it is. Of course, Professor Quentin Trimble himself might not agree."

"Now, let's open our textbooks to the title page. You'll see a line in beautiful calligraphy: practical experience always outweighs theory."

"That means we'll have very few theory lessons. Most of them will be practical!"

"As Professor Snape said, 'I won't spend much time on theory, and I won't rely entirely on the textbook. That's something you should study and master on your own outside class.'

"That's also what I want to tell you."

Professor Tywin suddenly smiled.

"I know, I know. Yesterday, after our dear Professor Snape said those words, he ended up in the Hospital Wing, so I'll be especially careful not to follow in his footsteps.

"I'd like to give Mr. Stark special praise here. A true Ravenclaw."

William kept a straight face. He noticed that Professor Tywin had once again drawn a wave of hostility toward him; all the Slytherins were staring at him.

Professor Tywin stepped down from the platform and said loudly, "As everyone knows, Defence Against Dark Magic is a class about learning how to deal with evil Dark Magic spells and evil creatures.

"So, what Dark Magic or evil creatures are there in the Wizarding World? Miss Cho Chang, you answer."

Cho stood up, thought for a moment, and said, "Vampires."

"That's right, vampires... frightening Magical Creatures originating from the Balkan Peninsula. I had the good fortune to encounter one or two on my travels. They're very difficult to deal with.

"Muggles use garlic and holy water to defend themselves, which certainly don't work.

"There are more and more stories about vampires in romance literature these days. To cater to the market, many witches portray vampires as handsome, long-lived creatures."

"That's undoubtedly wrong. Believe me," Tywin said, winking at Cho, "never try to fall in love with a vampire."

Cho's face turned bright red.

For some reason, William thought of Cedric. He probably wouldn't like Professor Tywin and might even want to become a vampire and bite him.

"Professor, will you teach me... us how to deal with vampires?" a Slytherin girl asked boldly.

She had freckles and was a little plump, and her voice sounded like that of the legendary witch Her Highness Qiaobiluo.

Judging by her lovestruck expression, William thought she probably didn't want to learn how to subdue a vampire, but rather how to subdue Professor Tywin.

Professor Tywin smiled. "Of course. If I'm still safely teaching by your third year, I'll teach you myself, Miss Crouch."

Everyone laughed. The frightening legend surrounding the Defence Against Dark Magic position was deeply ingrained in everyone's minds.

"Oh, and five points to Ravenclaw."

Professor Tywin made no attempt to hide his fondness for Ravenclaw House, because he himself had graduated from it.

That had been more than ten years ago, though.