Snape's Love Letter (Merry Christmas, First Update)

Professor Tywin was undoubtedly lucky.

Judy Crouch's Extraction Charm had struck the top of his thigh, missing a certain sensitive area by less than a centimeter.

At that distance, if Judy's little hand had trembled even slightly, Tywin wouldn't have been laughing.

There might not have been any bones there, but who could guarantee that the erectile tissue or prostate wouldn't have disappeared?

After all, no wizard had ever tried it.

Madam Pomfrey was very displeased.

"You shouldn't be teaching young wizards such dangerous magic!" she raged. "You got hurt yourselves. How can you protect the children?"

Madam Pomfrey thanked William again and said he could come and teach at Hogwarts in the future.

The school needed excellent professors like him!

That left both Snape and Tywin, lying in their beds, feeling awkward.

Madam Pomfrey gloomily tossed Tywin a set of pajamas. "Professor, you'll have to stay here tonight, but you'll have a harder time of it."

She took a large bottle from her cart, with a label reading "Skele-Gro."

"But with Professor Snape here to keep you company, it shouldn't be too unbearable," she said, pouring a large, steaming cup of potion and handing it to Professor Tywin.

"It tastes strange, but it works."

Professor Tywin looked at the mass of thick yellow liquid in the cup, fought down his nausea, and drank it in one gulp.

The Skele-Gro burned in Tywin's mouth and all the way down his throat, making him cough repeatedly and splatter yellow liquid.

But compared to the unpleasant taste, the visual impact was even harder to bear.

Madam Pomfrey withdrew, still clicking her tongue and complaining that Defence Against Dark Magic was too dangerous and the teachers were too incompetent.

If Madam Pomfrey were headmistress, she would probably only allow medical classes to be taught.

Snape's bed was not far from Professor Tywin's.

He wore black cartoon pajamas, printed not with little green snakes, but with two silver does grazing together.

An inscrutable smile appeared on Professor Snape's face. "Oh, let me see, who's this... What is it, Tywin? That looks like a serious injury," he said unctuously.

"I'm all right," Professor Tywin said with a smile. "Just following your example."

The burns on Snape's face had almost healed, but his neck was still wrapped in a layer of bandages, making him look like a mummy.

Snape wanted to leave too, but in this hospital, no one could defy Madam Pomfrey, not even Dumbledore.

William noticed a scant few get-well cards on Snape's table, along with a slice of French cream cake.

There was a pitifully small amount.

Apart from the things William had persuaded Cedric and a few Ravenclaw students to send, there were only the professors' get-well cards.

Hardly any students had sent him anything, not even the Slytherins!

William seriously suspected that even the staff's get-well cards had been prompted by a tactful "reminder" from that old man Dumbledore.

It was clear that Professor Snape really wasn't very popular!

Wait...

A flash of shock crossed William's dark green eyes.

Merlin's beard!

He had spotted a bouquet in the rubbish bin, and it was made of roses!

In every culture, roses represented love, and the wizarding world was no exception!

What, had the wild lily... sorry, the old bat finally found love too?

Following William's gaze, Professor Tywin noticed it too. He quietly picked up the wand beside his pillow and used a Summoning Charm on the flowers.

The whole bouquet flew into Professor Tywin's hand. Attached to it was a small pink card, on which a flamboyantly dressed witch was blowing kisses nonstop.

Shocking! At Professor Snape's bedside in the Hogwarts Hospital Wing, someone had actually found one of those "little cards" from hotels.

Was someone trying to lure Professor Snape into a honey trap?

William's imagination had clearly run away with him. The wizarding world didn't have scams that "sophisticated" yet.

This was merely a simple, innocent confession of love.

Professor Tywin cleared his throat and read it aloud with feeling, like a poet:

"Oh,

your eyes,

as black as a dung beetle fresh from rolling its ball of dung,

your lovely hair,

with a beautiful sheen like gutter oil,

you are full of stories,

almost as weathered as the pitch-black dungeons,

I wish you were mine,

you are truly handsome,

Champion who conquered Potions!

..."

"Diffindo!"

Before Professor Tywin could finish, the entire card exploded. Snape stared at Tywin, his face livid.

Killing intent filled the air!

Professor Tywin refused to back down, gripping his wand and pointing it at Snape.

"Come on, Severus. I've wanted to fight you for a long time."

The feigned smile vanished from Tywin's face. "You despicable traitor!" he roared.

"I didn't..." Snape's pupils contracted sharply, and a flicker of pain crossed his eyes.

"Didn't you? Then how did James and the Dark Lord die? And what gives you the right to live safely at Hogwarts for ten years?" Professor Tywin said coldly.

"Severus, you're the one who should have gone to Azkaban, not Sirius..."

William stood there, utterly baffled.

He didn't know any of the people Professor Tywin had mentioned, apart from the Dark Lord.

But he could tell one thing: Snape and Tywin had known each other before.

Perhaps they had been classmates, just not in the same house.

Hearing the commotion, Madam Pomfrey hurried in. She shrieked, and both men lowered their wands at once.

Soon, William was sent out too.

By the end of first period, news of Professor Tywin's hospitalization had spread throughout Hogwarts.

Two professors had gone down in two days, and William's title of "professor killer" spread like wildfire.

All the teachers began avoiding him.

But William had become famous in Ravenclaw House, where he was immensely popular.

Everyone had seen his performance in the classroom, and the Ravenclaw students all knew the truth.

Of course, most Hogwarts students were also looking forward to William pulling off another triumph and sending a third and fourth professor to the hospital.

Unfortunately, Professor Flitwick was far too clever for that.

For the first few weeks of Charms, he wouldn't teach any spells, only the gestures used to wave a wand.

There were only seven basic movements, but more than two hundred and thirty variations could be derived from them.

When spells involved Ancient Runes, the wand movements became even more complex, intricate, and varied.

Professor Flitwick wouldn't teach them all. He taught only the basic movements, enough for schoolwork and everyday use.

The remaining material would be taught in advanced classes or left for students with the capacity to study further!

Ordinary students weren't expected to do more.

So, to prevent any teaching accidents, Professor Flitwick wouldn't let the young wizards use wands. They all had to use similarly shaped sticks instead.

He was genuinely afraid that some student might accidentally poke someone or cause some other mishap, landing him in the hospital.

William's wand movements were perfectly executed. Professor Flitwick hurriedly awarded him one point, then told him to stop at once.

William felt wronged. From beginning to end, other people had caused the accidents; he had only dealt with the aftermath. What did any of it have to do with him?

Of course, dealing with the aftermath hadn't been entirely without benefits. In just two days, William had earned Ravenclaw House one hundred and twenty points.

A hundred of those points had been awarded because of Snape's and Tywin's teaching accidents.

Ravenclaw was now far ahead. The sapphires in its hourglass, laid end to end, could circle Hogwarts, and it had ranked first in the school for two days running!

(P.S. Merry Christmas, first update. Please recommend! (????ω????))