Find Her at Once. I Want Her Alive

These past days, Zongzheng Heng had remained at the Jinzhou prefectural office.

Every day, he was either dealing with the remnants of Qiao Nanyu's rebellion or reviewing the memorials Gu Huai'an had brought from the capital.

He kept himself busy.

So busy that he had no time to think about that person, no time to think about all the absurd things that had happened during that month.

When Gu Huai'an entered the study, Zongzheng Heng was bent over his desk, reviewing memorials.

The ink in the inkstone had been freshly ground, and the candlelight outlined his profile on the wall, still as a mountain.

"This humble minister pays his respects to Your Majesty."

Zongzheng Heng did not look up. His brush steadily inscribed "approved" on the memorial. "Rise."

Gu Huai'an rose and stood to one side, his hands at his sides.

"Your Majesty, the empress dowager has been asking when you will return to the capital. I told her it would be in three days-we would set out on the day the Qiao Family is beheaded."

Zongzheng Heng gave a murmur of acknowledgment and opened another memorial.

Gu Huai'an studied his expression, then chose his words before continuing.

"There is one more matter. The empress dowager is making preparations to select consorts for you. This is the first consort selection since Your Majesty ascended the throne. The empress dowager has not only summoned the capital's noble young ladies to participate, but has also issued a decree ordering a selection throughout the country. She said that any woman of proper appearance and good character may participate, regardless of birth."

Zongzheng Heng's hand paused slightly on the brush.

A sentence suddenly flashed through his mind-"You are mine."

Qiao Shuyi's voice had always been soft, with a touch of coquettishness, a touch of imperiousness, and a touch of utter conviction.

He closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, their depths had returned to their customary coolness.

During that month, he had been Zhigui, her male pet, Zhigui, who had lost both parents and had no one to rely on.

Now, he was the emperor of Great Zhang, the ruler of all under heaven.

Why was he thinking about these things?

"Mm. Let the empress dowager make the arrangements."

Gu Huai'an acknowledged the order but did not withdraw. After hesitating for a moment, he spoke again.

"However, Your Majesty, both daughters of the Su Family will be participating this time. By convention, at most one daughter from a family may be selected. The second young lady of the Su Family is a concubine-born daughter. If she enters the palace, the eldest young lady can only be passed over."

"If the legitimate daughter is passed over and the concubine-born daughter selected, word of it would spread. It would be contrary to propriety, and I fear it would invite criticism."

Gu Huai'an was Zongzheng Heng's trusted confidant and knew something of the thoughts the Son of Heaven could not share with outsiders.

That concubine-born daughter of the Su Family was, after all, different in His Majesty's heart.

When Zongzheng Heng heard the name "Su Yunyan," his brow furrowed slightly.

In the past, the name had brought a trace of warmth from his youth to his heart.

But hearing it now, it was as though something lay between them, leaving it somewhat indistinct.

He knew it was because of Qiao Shuyi.

That madwoman was like a wildfire. She had burned through without a care, and when she was done, she had refused to leave, insisting on leaving a patch of scorched earth in his heart.

Yet Zongzheng Heng was powerless at this moment.

Forget it. Time would make him forget everything. Once he returned to the capital and saw Su Yunyan, he would presumably feel differently again.

Zongzheng Heng said, "There are plenty of ways to ensure someone isn't selected. Must you ask me about such a thing?"

Gu Huai'an felt a little ashamed.

Naturally, he had to confirm whether that concubine-born daughter of the Su Family still held the same place in His Majesty's heart as before.

Only by taking the measure of His Majesty's wishes could he make the arrangements that followed watertight.

That honest old fellow, the vice minister of rites, had raised a fine daughter.

The capital was filled with noble young ladies, yet it was a concubine-born daughter who had won the Son of Heaven's favor.

If she bore an imperial prince in the future, she would truly ascend to heaven in a single step.

He gathered his thoughts and lowered his head. "Yes, Your Majesty. I shall make the arrangements at once."

After Gu Huai'an withdrew, the study fell quiet again.

Zongzheng Heng lowered his head and looked at the memorial spread open before him. His brush hung in midair, but he could not bring it down.

Three days.

In three days, she would die.

Everyone in the Prince of Jin'an's Manor would die.

Then, no one would know that he had once been a male pet at the Prince of Jin'an's Manor for a month.

He ought to be happy.

Zongzheng Heng forced himself to focus and continued reviewing the memorial, stroke by stroke.

But his handwriting was somewhat more careless than usual.

Over the following days, Gu Huai'an and the officials of Jinzhou worked day and night to settle the aftermath, confiscating property, identifying members of the faction, and calming the people.

A deathly silence hung over Jinzhou, and everyone feared for their own safety.

Which of the officials and merchants had never had dealings with the Prince of Jin'an's Manor?

Now that the Qiao Family had fallen, everyone feared the blade would come down on their own necks.

For a time, there was no end to those informing on others, reporting them, or severing ties, and panic spread through the populace.

Every day, Zongzheng Heng reviewed memorials until the hour of the boar.

He buried himself in piles of documents, leaving himself no free time, no chance to think about things he should not.

But whenever the night grew deep and quiet, he would lie on his bed and close his eyes, and his mind would fill with scenes of his time fooling around with Qiao Shuyi.

Her laughter, her voice, the way she leaned close to his ear, her breath sweet as orchids, the peacefulness of her curling up on his lap and falling fast asleep-

One scene after another revolved before his eyes like a revolving lantern, never stopping.

Tonight, he looked down and saw that that part of him had actually...

Zongzheng Heng cursed under his breath, then abruptly sat up.

"Someone, bring water!"

A bucket of cold water poured over him, making him tremble all over, yet it could not extinguish the fire in his heart.

He dried himself off haphazardly, threw on his clothes, and returned to the study.

He spread out a sheet of xuan paper and picked up his brush to write.

He wrote the character for "stillness," neat and proper.

He wrote another "stillness," precise and orderly.

He wrote yet another "stillness," the force of his strokes pressing through the paper.

He wrote dozens of sheets in one stretch, covering the entire table with them.

Yet his heart would not grow still, no matter what he did.

Daylight gradually brightened, filtering through the window lattice and falling on the xuan paper covered in characters for "stillness," on the space between his tightly furrowed brows.

Today was the day the Qiao Family would be beheaded.

At three quarters past noon.

He lowered his head and looked at the sheets bearing the character for "stillness." Suddenly, he found them unbearably glaring.

He reached for another memorial, opened it, and raised his brush.

The tip hovered over the paper, but he could not write a single word.

He felt the day was passing extremely slowly.

So slowly that it was like being held over a fire to roast, every breath an agony.

Yet he also felt it was passing extremely quickly, so quickly that the appointed hour would arrive in the blink of an eye.

Why?

He asked himself.

She was going to die. He ought to be happy.

Once she was dead, no one would ever know about that disgraceful part of his past.

Once she was dead, the tattoo on his body would become the mark of a dead person.

Once she was dead, he could return to the capital with a clean slate, be his emperor, select his consorts, and live his life.

But why was his heart so heavy?

Zongzheng Heng's gaze darkened bit by bit, dark as the sky before a storm, so oppressive it was hard to breathe.

He hurled the brush in his hand to the floor.

He rose and paced back and forth in the study.

After a few steps, he stopped again and looked at the brightening sky outside the window, his fists clenched tight.

He did not know what he was hesitating over.

He did not know what was tormenting him.

He knew only-

He did not want her to die now.

The hour of the snake.

The study door was flung open.

Gu Huai'an was standing under the corridor eaves, giving several officials their instructions. Hearing the noise, he turned to see Zongzheng Heng stride across the threshold, his robes sweeping in the wind, his expression dark.

What was wrong with His Majesty?

Zongzheng Heng said, "Saddle a horse!"

Gu Huai'an was taken aback and hurried after him. "Your Majesty, where are you going?"

Zongzheng Heng had already reached the courtyard and leaped onto a horse.

From his position above, he looked past the top of Gu Huai'an's head.

"The Prince of Jin'an's Manor."

She was only a woman.

He was the Son of Heaven, the ruler of all under heaven. Could he not do as he pleased?

Qiao Shuyi had tormented him for a month, and he had yet to settle accounts with her.

Die?

Not so easily!

Had she not been unable to bear living with her head bowed, dependent on another's favor?

Had she not said she was born noble and would rather die than eke out a miserable existence?

He would not let her die.

He wanted her to live, to live bowing and scraping, dependent on his favor.

He would make her understand that he alone could give her dignity in this world. And he alone could crush it.

Zongzheng Heng dug his heels into the horse's flanks. The steed neighed and charged out.

The morning wind rushed into his sleeves, and pedestrians on the road hurried out of the way, but he saw none of it. He felt only the fire in his chest burning ever fiercer.

Suddenly.

A swift horse came galloping toward him.

The rider wore black armor and was none other than the commander of the Black Armor Guard watching over the Prince of Jin'an's Manor.

He spotted Zongzheng Heng from afar, and his expression changed drastically. He jerked on the reins, turned his horse around, and rode alongside Zongzheng Heng, reporting in a loud voice as they galloped.

"Your Majesty-I have urgent news! Qiao Shuyi, the legitimate daughter of the disgraced minister Qiao Nanyu, disappeared half a shichen ago!"

Zongzheng Heng pulled sharply on the reins.

"What happened?"

The commander dismounted and dropped to one knee, sweat already beading on his forehead.

"I questioned the old servants at Jinglan Garden. One who knew some medicine said that she had diagnosed the disgraced woman Qiao Shuyi as pregnant. Presumably, that was why she... she found a way to escape."

He knocked his head heavily against the ground. "Your Majesty, forgive me. I failed in my duty to guard her! I have already sent the Black Armor Guard to pursue her with all their strength. We will surely capture that Qiao Family woman and bring her to justice, behead her for all to see, and never let her escape Jinzhou-"

"How dare you!"

Zongzheng Heng's shout cut the commander off. Kneeling on the ground, he did not dare take a breath.

Pregnant.

The word struck him like a thunderbolt, leaving his vision blank.

Zongzheng Heng's fingers tightened on the reins, little by little.

She was carrying his child.

She had fled, taking his child with her.

He jerked his head up, the gloom in his eyes too thick to disperse.

"Find her at once. I want her alive."