Zongzheng Heng's Memories

Inside the bedchamber.

Qiao Shuyi sat upright before the dressing mirror, letting her maid Qingyan remove her hairpins and ornaments.

Her reflection was hazy, her long black hair cascading down like a waterfall. It made her face look smaller and paler, more and more like a fairy untouched by the dust of the mortal world.

Zongzheng Heng stood behind the screen.

His gaze swept over the moon-gate canopy bed, eight feet square-

Embroidered brocade quilts covered the bed, and mandarin-duck pillows lay side by side. Red curtains and golden hooks lent every corner an air of lingering intimacy.

Could it be that he was to share a bed with her tonight?

Zongzheng Heng's dark eyes deepened.

The figure of another woman rose unbidden in his mind.

When he was eight, he had still been an unfavored prince.

His mother was a consort of low status, and he had no maternal relatives to rely on. All he had were the scornful looks and bullying of others, and endless neglect.

That year.

For reasons unknown, the late emperor had suddenly taken it into his head to select a group of officials' sons and daughters over the age of five to enter the palace as study companions.

That was when Su Yunyan had entered the palace.

She was the concubine-born daughter of the vice minister of rites, too low in status to have qualified for entry into the palace.

But that year, the vice minister's legitimate daughter of suitable age had fallen ill. Only Su Yunyan, a concubine-born daughter, was the right age, so she had been shoved in instead.

A concubine-born daughter.

That meant she was destined to be looked down on, just like him.

And so, in private, the two had gradually huddled together for warmth.

That had been one of the few warm periods in Zongzheng Heng's memory.

But it had lasted only a year.

A year later, the late emperor abolished the study-companion arrangement, and the young masters and misses returned to their respective homes.

Su Yunyan left too.

On the day she left, her eyes red-rimmed, she gave him a perfectly proper bow and said, "Take care, Your Highness."

He stood where he was, watching her back disappear at the far end of the palace gates, and said nothing.

Later, he gradually grew up.

He learned to endure and to scheme. He had no mind for romance.

His mother had neither family standing nor a powerful background. If he wanted to live well, he could only rely on himself.

Step by step, he endured what others could not endure and did what others could not do.

When he was fifteen.

He volunteered to the late emperor to lead troops south and suppress the wokou.

At the time, if Zongzheng Heng stayed in the capital, he would be nothing more than fish on the chopping block, at the mercy of others. He might as well go out and fight for a chance to live.

He went.

And stayed away for five years.

He grew from an inexperienced youth into a commander who led a million mighty soldiers.

The wokou in the south trembled at the mere mention of him, and the coastal nations bowed their heads in submission. Not one country dared to trespass on Great Zhang's borders again.

At twenty, he was ordered back to the capital.

Five years on the battlefield had left his hands drenched in blood.

The aura of slaughter about him was too strong, so he was ordered to Brahma Sound Temple to chant sutras and worship Buddha, in the hope of calming his mind.

He had never expected to encounter Su Yunyan there again.

In a side hall, Su Yunyan was praying:

"I, your devout follower Su Yunyan, am seventeen. The Su family is arranging a marriage for me. But in my heart... there is already someone. He is the former fifth prince, now Prince Xuan, whom everyone fears. I know I am not worthy of His Highness. I only beg the Buddha to show mercy and let me remain by the gods and Buddhas' side, rather than marry another. I am willing to spend the rest of my life with a solitary lamp before the ancient Buddha."

As he listened to her voice, their past together came flooding back to him.

That year, she had been five and he eight.

They had been apart for twelve years.

In those twelve years, he could no longer remember how many people he had killed or how much blood he had seen.

Yet that timid little girl who had tugged at his sleeve had remained quietly in some corner of his heart all along.

Now, before the Buddha, she had said there was someone in her heart.

And that person was him.

Standing outside the door, he suddenly smiled.

If she did not want to marry, then she would not marry.

He would certainly become emperor.

From the first day he had decided to contend for that position, he had never doubted it.

Zongzheng Heng left Su Yunyan a note: Wait for this prince.

He did not sign his name, but for some reason, he felt that Su Yunyan would understand.

At the time, the late emperor was gravely ill, and undercurrents surged through the court.

After returning to the capital, he had been granted the title of Prince Xuan. With command of the southern troops in his hands, he had become the target of every faction seeking to win him over.

He did not rush to act, but quietly contacted the Imperial Astronomical Bureau.

The Imperial Astronomical Bureau soon submitted a memorial, saying that there were anomalies in the heavens and that no joyous celebrations could be held in the capital for two years.

The late emperor approved it.

And so, the marriage the Su family was arranging for her was shelved.

Later, the late emperor passed away, and he ascended the throne.

The empress dowager pressed him to select consorts, saying the harem could not go a day without a mistress.

He only shook his head, saying that the court had yet to stabilize and he had no mind for women.

The empress dowager did not know what he was truly thinking-

The court was now a scene of devastation, and every faction was eyeing him like a tiger watching its prey, waiting to carve up their new emperor.

If he selected consorts now, even if he found a way to bring Su Yunyan into the palace, he would have neither the time nor the energy to protect her.

So he put it off.

Seeing that he truly had no interest, the empress dowager took a step back and issued an edict:

No woman of marriageable age in Great Zhang was to have a marriage arranged until after the emperor had selected his consorts.

The edict was exactly what he wanted.

He did not want her to marry.

Until he could openly and honorably bring her into the palace, no one could marry her.

And so another year passed in waiting.

He had originally thought that, after coming to Jinzhou and eliminating Qiao Nanyu, he would have most of Great Zhang's military forces in his hands.

He could deal with the civil officials slowly. He had patience to spare.

It would also be time to put the selection of consorts on the agenda.

She was already twenty this year.

An ordinary woman who remained unmarried at eighteen was considered an old maid and would be the subject of gossip.

She had waited for him all these years. He really had kept her waiting too long.

But now-

Zongzheng Heng gazed at Qiao Shuyi, sitting before the dressing mirror.

In the candlelight, her dark hair hung loose, and her plain robes were white as snow.

The face in the mirror had bright eyes and pearly teeth, lively and innocent, but hidden within was a madwoman.

Could he still refuse her tonight?

Every refusal came at a price.

Every act of resistance brought punishment.

Outside the window, cold moonlight spilled in, falling across his rigid back and his lowered eyes.

Beneath those eyes, something was sinking, bit by bit.