Do You Want to Be a Princess?

"Young master, you have to believe in your ability to get away with things."

Zani pushed up a pair of nonexistent glasses, her tone carrying the certainty of someone drawing on her experience in intelligence work.

After all, as she saw it, a man who could write love letters to dozens of women at once for twelve years without being found out had already performed a miracle.

A mere birthday party was no match for his talent for causing trouble; he would most likely make it out alive. Whether he would come out upright or horizontal, though, she couldn't guarantee.

"I hope you're right." Kexi gave an awkward chuckle, clearly not very confident in her well-wishes. He turned to leave, then suddenly remembered something. He stopped, looked back, and asked, "By the way, do you know where the Part-Time Department poet is?"

"The Part-Time Department poet?" Zani tilted her head. The name clearly wasn't among the keywords she usually used in her intelligence work.

"I mean Cioccolata."

"Oh!" Understanding dawned on Zani. Her fingers flew across her terminal, and a few seconds later, she had an answer. "She should be in Egla Town. Someone saw her there recently. Apparently, she was doing some kind of improvisation on the street again, with the town's artsy youngsters gathered several rows deep around her."

"Got it. I'm off, then." Kexi turned to make a quick getaway.

"Young master."

Zani's voice came from behind him. It didn't sound like she was reporting on work; there was a rare note of hesitation in it.

Kexi stopped and turned around. Zani was standing where he had left her, unconsciously twisting the hem of her clothes between her fingers, her lips pressed together slightly, as though gathering her words.

"What is it?"

"Those things you wrote to me..." She paused and looked at his face. Then she asked seriously, each word distinct, "Were they true?"

For a moment, the air fell silent.

Kexi looked into her eyes, which usually held a professional smile. Now all pretense had fallen away, leaving only an earnest, almost vulnerable expectation.

She worked in intelligence and excelled at distinguishing truth from falsehood among vast amounts of information. Yet by asking him this question now, she had chosen to set aside her professional skills instead of using them to analyze the letter and ask him directly.

In this world, where lies and disguises were more common than the truth, she had placed her trust in his hands. All it took was a word from him.

Faced with that gaze, Kexi suddenly smiled.

"Ha ha." He laughed aloud, his tone suddenly turning light. There was some deliberately exaggerated swagger in it, but also an earnestness so frank it was almost embarrassing. "Of course they were."

He put his hands in his pockets and tilted his head at her, striking a pose he thought was very handsome but was actually begging for a punch. "So, what do you say? Want to be a princess? Pfft, I mean, want to be my wife?"

Zani blinked. Instead of being scared off by his sudden cheesy pickup line, she followed up on it seriously. "If I become your wife, can I sleep in every day, never go to work, and still have money to spend?"

Kexi was taken aback by her practical question, then waved a hand with a grand flourish. "Of course."

Zani's eyes lit up.

Then she took a deep breath and rattled off, "What time does sleeping until I wake up naturally mean? Is ten o'clock late enough? Is there a mandatory time I have to get up? Does not having to work mean I don't have to touch any official business at all, or can I pick the things I like doing? What's the exact budget for spending money? Is there a spending limit? Do purchases have to be reported and approved? What authority would I have as your wife? Could I allocate the estate's supplies and personnel? Where would my private space be? How big would it be? Could I keep pets? How many cats and dogs could I have? Could you interfere with my personal hobbies outside working hours?"

Kexi's expression went from smug to blank, from blank to horrified, and from horrified to the profound shock of someone who had witnessed something indescribable.

He opened his mouth, trying to say something, but Zani had already entered a state of rigor approaching mathematical deduction. She continued counting on her fingers. "There's also vacation arrangements, business travel standards, the funding for everyday clothing, autonomy over social activities, the scope of my right to information-"

"Stop, stop, stop!" Kexi finally recovered from his shock and hurriedly interrupted her. "Zani, are you discussing marriage or signing a business contract?"

Zani stopped counting on her fingers and tilted her head at him, her expression saying it was perfectly obvious. "Young master, an engagement is itself a contractual relationship. Clearly defining both parties' rights and obligations helps avoid potential future conflicts and improve the stability of and satisfaction with the marriage. What I just mentioned is only a preliminary framework. We'll still need to work out the details point by point-"

Kexi was drenched in sweat.

He had only meant to flirt a little, but Zani had used her professional skills as an intelligence analyst to break his cheesy pickup line down into 108 KPI metrics. At this rate, she would probably work out a performance review schedule next.

"Um, Zani." He forced the words out.

"Yes?"

"I'm going now. As for all that... let me make a PowerPoint before I get back to you."

Zani put away her terminal and gave him the standard smile of a professional secretary, though the curve of her lips concealed a touch of triumphant cunning. "Of course, young master. I'll be ready for your report whenever you are."

She paused, then added, "Oh, by the way, I've recorded and archived every one of the conditions you just mentioned, including but not limited to sleeping in, not working, and having money to spend.

"Under Article 37 of the Montelli Family's internal management regulations, a verbal promise made by the heir is binding when witnessed by two or more parties.

"A bird flew past the window just now. Under Ragunna law, birds can serve as witnesses under certain circumstances-"

Kexi bolted. In the blink of an eye, he vanished at the end of the corridor, running as fast as he ever had when Carlotta was chasing him during training.

Zani stood where she was, watching his retreating figure as he fled. At last, she couldn't hold it in any longer and burst out laughing.

"You're a little too green to tease me."