Learning X Practicing X The Desire to Stand Up

Actually, maintaining Nen gathered around the body like this was truly super tiring--to use an inappropriate analogy, it was like exhaling through your nose, breathing out slowly, letting breath continuously exhale from beneath your nose.

Even if Nen left the skin by a single micrometer, it would rapidly become uncontrollable; the only way to keep them from running around wildly was to use one's mind to desperately hallucinate what they looked like while consistently maintaining them on the body's surface.

This working principle probably had a certain degree of similarity to the people in Pokémon who cultivated the psychic type and forcibly used psychic powers to bend spoons?

--The airflow began darting about chaotically and then rapidly vanished.

--Look at that, harder to control than Qi was his thought. Before even he himself noticed it, his thought had already galloped off like a wild horse with broken reins.

Qi Zhou opened his eyes and closed them again, entering the state of Ten for the thirteenth time.

Fortunately, this time compared to the last, Ten lasted another thirteen seconds longer.

It was already afternoon when Chrollo returned to his room; he pushed open the door and saw the layer of Qi around the little brat sitting on the ground had grown from 2 millimeters to 5 millimeters.

Much as he had anticipated.

He used the brat's ability to create badges for group members to use, so he knew the amount of Nen required to manufacture a single badge; comparing this to the maximum number of times the brat had said he could use badges in a single day, the brat's current explicit Nen was just enough for him to output this thickness of Ten.

However, this probably only accounted for a few fraction of a percent of the Qi output by the silver-blue eyes; purely the Qi needed for the Nen attack that filled the Underground Corridor that day was enough for this little brat to manufacture dozens of badges.

Chrollo increasingly wanted to find out the silver-blue eyes.

On the other side, upon hearing the sound of the door being pushed open--or rather, hearing the footsteps before the door was pushed open--Qi Zhou ended his meditation and looked up toward the direction of the door.

Chrollo stood by the door, not moving at all, but Qi Zhou once again felt the ice-cold, bone-chilling killing intent roar and sweep toward him--even more terrifying than the previous time, an abyss so black it was bottomless was about to grind him to pieces and then devour him.

"Ugh..." Qi Zhou gritted his teeth and swallowed the faint, broken whimpers emerging from his throat; the blood all over his body almost flowed in reverse, and the airflow began to riot along with the blood, bursting forth from a deeper place within his body to shroud him more densely in an indescribable manner.

The feeling of being about to be ground to pieces weakened by a fraction.

And Chrollo slowly took a stride toward him.

Along with the low, heavy sound of leather shoes tapping on the ground, Qi Zhou uncontrollably shrank his body, and uncontrollably wanted to retreat backward--yet right behind him was the wall, with no room to retreat and nowhere to escape.

"Now you can try condensing Nen in the difficult-to-control locations within your body, and then stand up. But if you cannot continue maintaining Ten, you will die."

Chrollo's voice was very soft: "If you still cannot stand up by the time I walk up to you, I will likewise kill you."

Qi Zhou opened his eyes wide as he looked at him, his grey-blue pupils reflecting the figure of the other, set against a backdrop of sorrow and disbelief thick enough to be unmelting.

"Thump."

"Thump."

The sound of his heartbeat was exceptionally fierce, vibrating within his eardrums; a single drop of cold sweat slid down Qi Zhou's temple, lingering on his jaw as though frozen.

Something seemed to be burning in his wide-open eyes. Qi and Nen intertwined into a blazing desire: he did not want to die, was unwilling to die just like this; if he could stand up, he could at least... escape? Even if he could at least try to escape...

Qi gathered from all directions into his uncontrollable legs; for the first time, Qi Zhou so vividly perceived the existence of a thing called "legs." He slowly twisted his body, his fingers clawing at the rough, uneven wall, driving his own body bit by bit, moving his endlessly trembling legs bit by bit to prop up his tottering body, and ultimately, he stood up.

He panted heavily, using all his physical strength to maintain his balance; it was as fleeting as a dream, as illusory as a phantom--had he... stood up? Had he truly stood up using his own legs?

Qi Zhou was completely unaware that the fingers with which he clawed the wall had already sunk into the wall itself, nor did he perceive that the cold-wave-like pressure had already dissipated.

Chrollo stood before him, a mere step away--yet did not continue moving forward.

A hand landed on his head and ruffled it.

Qi Zhou trembled as though stimulated; he raised his head, gazed into the man's bottomless black eyes, and then heard him say:

"Passed."

"Boss, sorry to interrupt, the things you asked me to bring--yo, the little one managed to stand up? Is this Ten?"

The blond youth Shalnark's voice came from over by the door; he stood at the entrance, carrying a bag in his hand, and the bag was packed full of notebooks and pens.

He smiled: "Looks like a pretty good Ten. Was it the boss who taught him?"

Chrollo turned sideways, one hand shoved into his pocket: "More or less."

"Oh, that's rare; the boss actually teaches people how to learn Nen." Shalnark walked into the room and placed the bag of pens and notebooks on the floor. "Right, boss, I need to leave the base for a while."

Chrollo: "Go ahead, as long as you assemble before the next activity starts."

Shalnark nodded, turned, and waved: "The twenty-fourth of the month after next, which is February twenty-fourth, will be the assembly time. See you then, boss."

After Shalnark entered the room and strolled around a circle, the terror toward Chrollo that had condensed in Qi Zhou's heart was finally diluted a fraction. He stood with his back against the wall, but even though that terrifying pressure was gone, his body remained tense all the same.

"Properly maintain your Ten, no matter what you are doing," Chrollo said softly. "Eating and sleeping are no exception."

Chrollo looked down at Qi Zhou and stated: "You have also experienced what Nen pressure is. Only by resisting Nen pressure with Nen can you reduce the damage; being attacked by Nen pressure while completely unprepared will result in being smashed to pieces."

"Therefore, you must be prepared at any time to be attacked by Nen pressure."

"...Yet why?"

Qi Zhou stared into Chrollo's eyes. "Why teach me Nen? Why force me to learn it using this method? If I can't do it--are you really going to kill me!"

"Because the Phantom Troupe needs your ability, but has no use for useless people," Chrollo answered seriously. "In the future, your ability can enable the Special Attack Group to exert a greater utility, but the current you cannot yet achieve this point, so you need to become stronger as quickly as possible."

Not the slightest trace of a joke could be discerned within his black pupils: "This is the fastest method--as long as you accomplish it, naturally you won't have to die."

Qi Zhou caught the unspoken implication behind Chrollo's words.

Being placed successively between life and death had already left him mentally exhausted; the final string of his heart was snapped by Chrollo's words, and anger congealed within Qi Zhou's eyes: "If I can't do it, that equates to being useless to you folks, and dying means dying--is that it!"

His body slammed hard into the wall behind him. The back of his head seemed to hit something, and a phantom-like ringing filled his ears. His mind was muddled, and his head throbbed as if it were about to split.

Only after his shoulder had been shattered did the pain register. The agony made Qi Zhou's vision go black, and cold sweat covered his forehead.

The boy sank to the ground, his left arm hanging limply at his side. He stared in disbelief at the black-haired young man before him, who looked utterly composed. The latter still stood where he had been, without the slightest sign that he had moved.

"Ah, that's right."

Chrollo said softly. He crouched down, leaning close to the boy sitting on the ground. The calm in his dark eyes faced off against the anger in the boy's.

"But I did get one thing wrong. Before teaching you to use Nen, I should have taught you the rules here." Chrollo spoke slowly. "You can't yet be considered a true member, so just remember these two things."

His voice sank, carrying the solemn authority of a godfather chanting the "Bible."

"First, the Phantom Troupe comes first. Betrayal is absolutely forbidden."

"Second, the leader's orders come first. So you just need to do as I say."

Qi Zhou snapped, "-I never agreed to join any Phantom Troupe!"

Before the words had even left his mouth, the pain in his right shoulder nearly blacked out his vision. It hurt so much. Even when he had first opened his eyes inside the box, with all four limbs broken, it hadn't hurt like this...

Chrollo stood up.

"Your refusal is invalid. I told you, the Phantom Troupe comes first. Your ability will help the Troupe, so no matter what, you can't leave."

He stared at the boy, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. "Unless you die-but are you willing to?"

Qi Zhou: "..."

It was as if all the strength had been drained from his body.

He wanted to live. That was why he had chosen to lie in bed for ten years, feeling his body and his hopes rot away bit by bit, instead of ending it all when he could still move his hands.

He wanted to live. That was why he had endured his body soaked in filth and foul blood, endured the pitch-black wooden box, sitting inside it without a sense of day or night, waiting for a glimmer of hope that might not even exist...

He wanted to live. That was how he could drag along legs he hadn't used in ten years and stand again...

He wanted to live... He had finally gotten a new beginning; he could finally see the world outside the window with his own eyes; he could finally control his hands. He still hadn't played the song he had written in his heart countless times...

"If you have no objections, let's continue." Chrollo placed a book in front of Qi Zhou. "Let's start by learning the Common Language. First, listening and speaking-having to use Nen to communicate with you all the time is tiring."

"Remember, while you're learning, don't forget to keep Ten up at all times."