Professor Moning's Academic Disaster Day

The bell rang, signaling the end of class.

Dania sat bolt upright, both hands flat on her desk, her eyes shining brighter than the bell was loud.

Sigelica paused while packing up her textbooks and followed Dania's gaze. There was nothing there, only the direction of the cafeteria.

Moning closed her lesson plan and swept her gaze across the room from behind her glasses, fixing it on Zhou Yu, who was halfway out the back door.

"Colleague from the logistics department, stay a moment."

Zhou Yu's foot hung outside the doorway, his whole body frozen in an extremely awkward escape pose. After two seconds, he slowly turned around.

"Professor Moning, what is it? Could you keep it short? The cafeteria starts serving at eleven forty-five, and I need to get there early to inspect the quality of today's ribs."

Moning ignored his words. Carrying her lesson plan under her arm, she walked over and blocked him at the corner of the corridor.

"The 0.5-second data gap during class."

She raised her tactical tablet. A string of garbled data on the screen was circled in red.

"Spatial scanning was blocked, thermal readings dropped to zero, and a biological signal appeared out of nowhere and vanished. The academy security system has been running for seventeen years, and today was the first time it reported an error."

She turned the tablet around and thrust it in front of Zhou Yu.

"You need to give me a reasonable explanation."

Sigelica had just come out of the classroom. When she saw what was happening, she pressed herself back behind the doorframe, clutching the edge of her textbook so tightly that her nails sank into the pages.

Zhou Yu glanced at the garbled data on the screen and scratched the back of his head.

"Oh, that."

He clapped his hands, a note of realization in his voice.

"It's a habit."

Moning's brow furrowed slightly.

"What habit?"

"The way I walk." Zhou Yu extended his left foot and tapped the ground. "My left foot always starts 0.01 seconds faster than my right. Under certain spatial densities, this asymmetrical startup motion conflicts with the observation frame rate of the current coordinate system."

He drew his foot back and spread his hands.

"Simply put, I walked too fast and made the surveillance system lag and drop frames."

Behind the door, Sigelica bit down on her sleeve.

"Lag and drop frames?" Moning repeated the phrase without changing her tone, but her fingers tightened around the tablet.

"Right. We call it localized observational collapse induced by gait startup motion." Zhou Yu's expression was perfectly serious. "Basic stuff. Nothing worth mentioning."

"Gait startup motion... observational collapse..."

Moning's lips moved twice, and her pupils dilated behind her glasses.

She tucked the tablet under her arm, pulled a palm-sized dynamic simulation device from her pocket, and sent her fingers flying across its virtual screen.

"Assuming the human body is a nonstandard point mass, with the initial kinetic energy variable supplied by the left foot's startup motion as ΔE, substituting it into the coupling coefficient for spatial curvature..."

Sigelica buried her face in her hands.

She believed him. She was actually doing the calculations.

"No, that's not right." Moning's breathing quickened, and her fingers moved even faster. "The magnitude of this perturbation isn't enough, unless your mass underwent a nonlinear transition the instant you stepped forward..."

Sizzle.

Static flashed across the simulation device's screen, and a wisp of smoke rose from it.

Moning stared at the malfunctioning device, her pupils burning with a fanaticism Zhou Yu had never seen on any scholar's face.

She grabbed Zhou Yu's wrist.

"Your mass data. Now, immediately, let me take a set of measurements."

"Professor." Zhou Yu looked down at his captured wrist, then at the clock on the wall. "I'm off the clock now."

"Off the clock?"

"Yes. My job is to supervise the quality of the cafeteria's food. I have to personally inspect the acidity and tenderness of today's sweet-and-sour ribs. It's a mandatory target written into my KPI."

He gently pulled his wrist free of Moning's hand.

"If I miss the inspection window, they'll dock my perfect attendance bonus."

"Wait, your gait data..."

"We can talk during work hours tomorrow, Professor Moning." Zhou Yu had already turned and taken two steps away. He waved without looking back. "Remember to make an appointment in advance. My workstation is in Warehouse Three. Business hours are nine to five, and I don't take visitors during my lunch break."

Moning stood where she was, holding the smoking simulation device and still muttering formulas. She hadn't noticed that he was already far away.

Sigelica poked her head out from behind the door, looked at Moning, then at Zhou Yu's retreating back. Her temple throbbed three times.

"Let's go eat ribs." Zhou Yu stopped at the classroom door and waved inside.

A pink head sprang up from its seat and rushed out, its owner not even stopping to zip up her schoolbag.

"Ribs! An extra serving!"

Dania ran to Zhou Yu's side and looked up at him, clutching her schoolbag straps in both hands. Her whole body seemed to glow.

Linnai followed behind, swaying with every step, still holding the half-eaten roasted sweet potato.

"Buddy." Linnai slung an arm around Dania's shoulders and gave Zhou Yu a thumbs-up. "I heard that whole spiel of yours three times and still didn't understand it, but Moning believed you. That's way better than any excuse I've ever used to skip class."

"That was an academic exchange, not an excuse."

"Sure, sure, an academic exchange." Linnai grinned and leaned close to Zhou Yu's ear. "Teach me sometime, will you? Next time she calls on me, I'll give her a spiel too."

"You can't learn it. It takes talent."

"Tch."

The three of them rounded the teaching building. Linnai pulled Dania around to the parking area in the back and pointed at a flame-red motorcycle, its body spray-painted with a roaring beast in black.

"Look, my Crimson Mane! I painted the graffiti myself. Doesn't it look cool?"

Dania crouched down and reached out a finger to touch the beast's fang. She pulled it back, then touched it again.

"It looks nice." She looked up at Linnai and nodded vigorously. "Is this beast smiling?"

"It's roaring!" Linnai's voice rose. "How could that be a smile?"

"But the corners of its mouth are turned up."

Linnai looked down at her painting and fell silent for two seconds.

"...That's because of the curve of its fangs."

Zhou Yu stood a few steps away. His gaze swept over the landscaped strip at the edge of the parking area, then moved away without lingering.

The screen of the old-fashioned digital watch on his wrist flashed.

A pixel-art exclamation mark lit up for a fraction of a second, then changed to a picture of a banana peel before the normal time display returned.

From deep within the bushes in the landscaped strip came a muffled splash, as though something heavy had fallen into water. The sound of a metal cover closing followed immediately.

Linnai pricked up her ears.

"What was that?"

"Sewer inspection." Zhou Yu didn't even turn his head. "The academy logistics department has been doing pipe maintenance lately. Nothing unusual."

"Oh." Linnai thought nothing more of it and continued explaining her motorcycle's engine specifications to Dania.

Dania stood up, brushed the dust off her skirt, and trotted back to Zhou Yu's side. She caught hold of his sleeve.

"Zhou Yu, would an extra serving of sweet-and-sour ribs put us over budget?"

"No. I'm the supervisor. I approve today's budget."

"What about Xixi's?"

"Hers comes out of her own allowance."

Sigelica's roar came from the distance.

"I heard that! Zhou Yu, just you wait!"

Dania tugged Zhou Yu's sleeve and headed toward the cafeteria. After two steps, she suddenly stopped and looked back at the landscaped strip.

"Zhou Yu."

"Hmm?"

"Someone was watching me over there just now."

Zhou Yu looked down at her. Dania's expression and tone were both calm, as though she were saying the weather was nice today.

"They're gone now," she added.

Zhou Yu ruffled her hair without saying a word. The digital watch on his wrist quietly displayed the time.

Eleven forty-three.

Two minutes until the cafeteria started serving.