This Excel Sheet-Do You Dare Not Follow It?

"Do you even know what you just did?!"

Sigelica rushed up to Zhou Yu and grabbed him by the collar, residual electricity crackling over her armored gauntlet.

"You interrupted the ritual! You attacked Dania! And you made Aleph One disappear?"

Her voice went weak by the end, but her fingers tightened around his collar.

That was Lahai-Roi's Primordial Threnody. How could it just vanish like a dropped internet connection?

"Relax."

Calm as ever, Zhou Yu patted her hand, signaling her to let go.

"Was that an attack? I call it a wake-up service."

He pointed at the sky. "Look, isn't she awake now?"

Dania, no longer held aloft by that power, was slowly drifting down.

Sigelica quickly released Zhou Yu and dashed over, catching the still somewhat disoriented Dania in her arms.

"Yaya, are you all right? Does anything hurt?"

"I... have a bit of a bump... on the back of my head."

Dania held her head, her eyes full of confusion as she looked at Zhou Yu, who was leisurely dusting off his pant legs.

"The cake... he mentioned... what's that?"

"Don't listen to that lunatic!"

Supporting Dania, Sigelica opened fire on Zhou Yu again.

"You've completely disrupted Lahai-Roi's defense plan! The threat of Aleph One hasn't been eliminated. What are we going to do when the next crisis comes?"

"Plan?"

As though he'd just heard the biggest joke in the world, Zhou Yu leisurely pulled a neatly folded sheet of A4 paper from the pocket of his logistics uniform.

"Which plan are you talking about?"

"Obviously, the one to sacrifice Dania to temporarily calm the Threnody and buy humanity time to catch its breath..."

Zhou Yu unfolded the A4 sheet and shoved it in front of her face.

Sigelica's words caught in her throat.

It was a densely packed Excel spreadsheet, with a title in bold black type:

"Dania's Mandatory Birthday Party and Lahai-Roi Food Week Experience Plan V1.0"

"Project name: Dania's 18th birthday party."

Zhou Yu pointed at the first line, his tone as serious as if he were announcing the launch of a project.

"Project duration: effective immediately through May 21."

"Wait a minute..."

"Project lead: Zhou Yu. Core participants: Dania and Sigelica."

"Will you wait a minute?!"

"Phase one KPI: ensure Dania's emotional state remains stable and her weight steadily increases until the birthday party ends. Put a stop to all violations, including overtime, self-sacrifice, and leaving early."

"I said, wait a minute!"

Sigelica finally roared, her face flushed crimson. She was still supporting Dania with one hand, while the other trembled as she pointed at the spreadsheet.

Zhou Yu glanced at her and continued moving his finger down the page.

"Today, project launch day. Main tasks: interrupt the ineffective sacrifice process, break the ice within the team, and eat a normal breakfast."

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Tomorrow, venue inspection. Candidate venues: the rooftop terrace of Flamebearers' Academy, the Jinzhou City night market, or the beach at the Black Shores."

"I'm asking if you're listening to me..."

"The day after tomorrow, cake tasting. Candidate flavors: strawberry, chocolate, and matcha."

Zhou Yu's finger stopped. He looked up at Sigelica with an expression that said he was informing her, not asking.

"Note: Sigelica is responsible for paying."

"Why should I?!"

Sigelica shrieked, nearly dropping Dania.

"It's wartime! We're on the front lines! And you're carrying around this make-believe..."

"Make-believe?"

Zhou Yu put the spreadsheet away in his pocket, and the look he gave her changed in an instant.

"Sigelica, I hope you'll take this seriously."

He held up one finger.

"This is a meticulously planned project execution strategy, with keeping Dania alive as its highest priority."

He pointed his finger at Sigelica.

"And yet the core KPI of your so-called plan is to have a core project member die."

"Not even an intern at our company would write a plan like that. They would've been optimized out long ago."

"I don't understand what you're talking about! What's a KPI? And what's 'optimized' supposed to mean?"

"It doesn't matter if you don't understand."

Zhou Yu waved a hand, looking every bit like a middle manager announcing a departmental decision.

"You just need to carry it out."

He turned to Dania, who had been in a shutdown state this whole time, and his tone suddenly softened.

"Dania, as the most important member of this project, do you have any questions about today's first task?"

"Task..."

Dania blinked, her head, stuffed full of concepts like sacrifices and vessels, struggling to process it.

"Eat... breakfast?"

"That's right, eat breakfast. Any questions?"

Dania looked at Zhou Yu, then at Sigelica, who was about to explode with rage beside her. Her lips moved a couple of times.

"A question... what's that?"

"Excellent, no questions."

Zhou Yu nodded in satisfaction.

"Let's go. I know a place that makes a good stew with canned military rations and potatoes. The rations count as expired supplies, but we can still get some by exploiting a bug in the distribution process."

He turned and headed toward the logistics camp.

Sigelica stood where she was, staring at his carefree figure as her anger rose and fell several times.

Dania suddenly spoke softly from her arms.

"Xixi... what does canned stew with potatoes... taste like?"

Sigelica looked down at her.

Dania still looked bewildered, but there was something different in her eyes, a little curiosity that even she hadn't noticed.

"He's led you astray too, hasn't he?!"

Sigelica gritted her teeth, but in the end she supported Dania and hurried after him.

"Wait! Stop right there!"

She couldn't leave Dania with this lunatic.

Ahead of them, Zhou Yu didn't even turn around. He simply raised a hand and waved the A4 sheet.

"Remember to bring money for the cake tasting, Sigelica."

"Who's going to bring you money?!"

Dania's stomach growled just then.

It was quiet, but on Lahai-Roi's smoke-filled defensive line, it rang out with particular clarity.