The Jealous Alpaca Incident and a Shower of Dog Food
The palm print formed from black mist had just touched the windowpane.
Zhou Yu suddenly rolled over and kicked the central air conditioning control panel at the foot of the bed with her long leg.
With a "beep", the heating mode instantly switched to powerful dehumidification.
The outdoor unit emitted a low rumble, and the vortex of the exhaust vent swept away the moisture, causing a few drops of cold dew to condense on the leaves of the flower bed downstairs.
Zhou Yu yawned; Dania was fast asleep in his arms.
Her little yellow duck pajamas had the neckline open, and the (·Y·) pattern was stretched out of shape.
He silently looked away.
Dania smacked her lips as she woke up and rubbed her eyes.
Dania: (◍•ᴗ•◍)
"Xiao Yu, it's dawn, where are my crab roe buns?"
Zhou Yu pushed her fluffy head away from his chest.
"Get dressed, or the cafeteria will only have dishwater left if you're late."
On the sightseeing bus, Dania confidently occupied the seat next to Zhou Yu, stuffing her hands directly into his coat pockets, their fingers intertwined.
Sigelica sat in the back row, clutching her riot shield, staring suspiciously at the backs of the two people in front of her.
Sigelica: (ㅍ_ㅍ)
"I have a feeling that your relationship last night crossed a certain threshold."
Chisaki pushed up her glasses; the cursor on the tablet was flashing.
"Based on the analysis of target B's gait frequency and dopamine secretion characteristics, the close contact index has exceeded the safety threshold and entered a stage of uncontrollable growth."
The sightseeing bus stopped at the alpaca grazing area, Dania rushed ahead carrying a basket of carrots, her pink skirt swaying in the wind.
She took out a carrot and handed it to a brown alpaca, which chewed it and stretched its neck to get closer to her.
Zhou Yu stepped forward and placed his hand in front of Dania.
"Get away from it, that thing spits."
The brown alpaca stopped chewing and tilted its head to look at Zhou Yu for two seconds.
Puff.
A glob of saliva mixed with bits of grass landed precisely on his trouser leg.
The scene fell completely silent.
Linnai's fingers, which were holding the terminal, froze in mid-air, Aimis whistled loudly.
"This alpaca's fodder for the next life is probably gone."
Dania's smile vanished as she stared intently at the stains on Zhou Yu's trousers.
The surrounding air temperature dropped sharply, and a layer of visible white frost condensed on the grass.
Within a radius of 100 meters, the alpacas seemed to be held down by an invisible hand, bending their front legs in unison and kneeling on the grass with a thud.
The giraffes in the distance all tucked their necks into their chests.
Dania:ꐦ(ಠ皿ಠ)
You dare spit on him!
She rolled up her sleeves and was about to rush over.
Zhou Yu reacted quickly, pulling her into his arms and rapidly tapping his old-fashioned digital watch a few times.
[Regional environmental data overwriting in progress... Pressure residue has been cleared.]
The chilling aura vanished instantly.
Zhou Yu pressed Dania's face against his chest.
"Alright, alright, it's just a pair of pants, no need to raze the zoo to the ground."
The spectacular sight of hundreds of alpacas kneeling together attracted a crowd of tourists, with videos and exclamations of amazement filling the air.
Zhou Yu used his body to block Dania, cutting off all inquisitive gazes.
The zoo owner ran over, sweating profusely, his legs trembling as he looked at the alpacas kneeling on the ground.
Zhou Yu pointed to his trouser leg.
"Boss, the animals here are a bit unstable; they scared my girlfriend."
The boss bowed repeatedly in apology.
Zhou Yu sighed and waved his hand.
"Forget about compensation for emotional distress. Just get her two buckets of the best feed to calm her down, and we'll pretend this never happened."
The boss was overjoyed and immediately had two large buckets of carrots and apple chunks brought over.
Dania, clutching the feed bucket, angrily stuffed carrots into the mouths of the alpacas one by one.
"Eat, everyone, eat more. Once you're full, let's see who dares to throw up."
Zhou Yu leaned against the railing, unscrewed the thermos, and took a sip of goji berry water.
On the other side, Sigelica was squatting on the grass, staring at an alpaca that was ruminating.
Lu Hesi walked over to her, squatted down, and took out a miniature recorder from his pocket.
"The stomach of camels has three chambers, a unique structure."
Sigelica immediately turned her head.
"So spitting is acid reflux, a stress-induced territorial defense behavior?"
Lu Hesi adjusted his glasses and nodded.
That's one way to understand it.
Linnai shook her head in despair not far away.
Linnai:(￣ー￣)
"Oh no, Xixi's romantic side hasn't even developed yet, and it's going to be devoured by her academic side."
During the free time in the afternoon, Dania pulled Zhou Yu to the flower bed at the park entrance and handed the terminal to Chisaki who was passing by.
Chisaki, take a picture for us.
Chisaki held up the terminal, the lenses reflecting the light.
"The composition contains 0.5 meters of unused negative space. Please move closer to the subject."
Dania pouted in dissatisfaction.
Dania:(ง•_•)ง
"Xiao Yu, catch me!"
Before Zhou Yu could reply, Dania suddenly jumped up, wrapped her legs around his waist, and tightly hugged his neck, hanging on him like a koala.
Zhou Yu instinctively supported her knees to steady her.
"What kind of starting stance is that? What if you fall?"
Chisaki calmly watched the data stream on the tablet.
"Warning: Target A's cervical spine is currently bearing approximately 45 kilograms of additional weight. It is recommended to remove the load within three minutes, otherwise the risk of cervical spondylosis will increase by 60%."
Linnai quickly covered Chisaki's mouth.
"Stop talking, this is called a sweet burden."
Aimis cheered from the sidelines.
"Brother Yu, are you sure you can handle this? If not, let me try."
Zhou Yu glared at her, but instead of letting go, she lifted Dania up a little.
"The Logistics Department has a very strong backbone."
Dania pressed her cheek against his, laughing carefree.
"Don't worry, you'll definitely catch me."
Chisaki pressed the shutter.
In the photo, the girl's smile is as bright as the sun, while the boy's brows are furrowed, yet his eyes are full of undisguised indulgence.
Dania jumped down, grabbed the terminal, and with a flurry of fingers, set the photo as her lock screen and wallpaper.
She immediately ran up to Sigelica with the terminal to show it off.
"Xixi, look, isn't it pretty?"
Sigelica covered her eyes.
"It's so beautiful! Please tone it down, I'm going to go blind!"
Dania ran up to Aimis was chewing gum and gave her a thumbs up.
"Amazing, this dog food is so pure I could eat it for three days straight."
As night falls, the seaside night market is bustling with activity.
Zhou Yu, accompanied by Dania, began their sweep through the streets.
"Boss, freshly caught oysters, 100 stars per dozen."
Zhou Yu glanced at the water tank, then took out an old-fashioned electronic scale and placed it on the cutting board.
"Thick shell, little meat, and water content exceeding the standard by 30%. According to the Logistics Department's procurement standards, the maximum should be 40."
The boss glared at Zhou Yu, who then pulled out the purchasing seal from the Logistics Department.
"Tourist areas are also under the jurisdiction of the Price Bureau. Should I make a call and inquire for you?"
The boss immediately gave in.
"Alright, alright, forty it is, let's be friends."
Dania, her mouth greasy from eating a plate of grilled oysters, looked at Zhou Yu with sparkling eyes.
Dania:(✧∇✧)
"Xiao Yu, you're amazing!"
Zhou Yu handed her a tissue.
"The basic quality of working people is to never let capitalists exploit them."
The two walked up to a takoyaki (octopus ball) stall.
"Secret Recipe Mini Meatballs, 31 servings."
Zhou Yu glanced at the bucket of batter next to her.
"The batter contains over 80% starch, and the octopus pieces are less than one cubic centimeter, which constitutes suspected false advertising."
The vendor's hand trembled, and the iron skewer almost fell into the oil pan.
"You, you're making false accusations."
Zhou Yu brought up the scanning program on the digital watch and shoved the screen in front of the stall owner.
[Analysis of target ingredients: inexpensive starch, artificial flavorings, octopus-flavored additives...]
Do I need to send the quality inspection report to the food safety supervision bureau?
The stall owner swallowed hard.
"Ten, ten star coins a share, bro, give me a break."
Dania held the steaming hot dumplings, her breath coming in gasps from the heat.
Zhou Yu took out a bottle of iced cola and pressed it against her cheek.
Eat slowly, no one's going to take it from you.
The two ate their way from one end of the street to the other, and Zhou Yu single-handedly drove down the prices of everything on the street by 30%.
Back in the hotel's penthouse suite, Dania took a shower, changed into her rubber duck pajamas, and climbed directly onto the huge, round waterbed.
Zhou Yu was sorting through the souvenirs in her canvas bag when she turned around and discovered that the row of mineral water bottles that had served as the "Chu River and Han Border" from last night had disappeared.
Dania sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed and patted the spot next to her.
Dania:(⁄⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄⁄)
"Xiao Yu, are you... letting your guard down today?"
Zhou Yu tossed a seashell necklace into his bag, walked to the bedside and sat down, causing the waterbed to shake violently under his weight.
"Who was it that kicked the entire defensive line to the ground in the middle of the night yesterday?"
Dania moved closer to him and looked up.
Under the dim light of the bedside lamp, the pink gauze curtains swayed gently.
Zhou Yu looked at her lips, so close to his own, glistening with moisture, and his Adam's apple bobbed.
He bent down.
Just then, the old-fashioned digital watch on the bedside table emitted a sharp beep.
A line of glaring red text popped up on the screen.
[WARNING: High-energy source has breached the hotel's outer defenses.]
[Straight-line distance: 10 meters.]
Zhou Yu stopped moving, his gaze passing over Dania's shoulder and suddenly landing on the tightly closed French window.
On the outside of the glass, a hand formed entirely of black mist is silently pressed against it.