Hardcore Tutoring 2.0: Solving Calculus with Accounting Logic
The iron gate of the Logistics Department warehouse slammed shut.
Zhou Yu turned the wrench and tightened the bolt two full turns.
Cardboard hung on the doorknob, marker pens flying everywhere.
[Internal audit of the Logistics Department; unauthorized personnel not permitted.]
[The term "vicious dog" specifically refers to Sigelica; she is responsible for any bites she makes.]
Sigelica stood by the door, holding a riot shield.
She slapped the shield, making a dull thud, which signaled her acceptance of the task.
Sigelica: (ㅍ_ㅍ╬)
"Supervisor Zhou, are you sure this dilapidated door can stop the Academic Affairs Office from inspecting us?"
"If Director Moning brings people to crack down on illegal tutoring, my shield won't withstand her data terminal hitting my face."
Zhou Yu clapped his hands and dragged the folding table to the center of the warehouse.
"She doesn't have time to arrest people; the research report from the Deep Space Joint Research Institute will give her a headache for half a month."
Four thick textbooks were arranged on the desk.
"The Three-Hundred-Year History of the Flamebearers' Academy" is listed alongside "An Outline of Basic Resonance Theory".
Next to the book "Introduction to Mechanical Engineering" was Linnai's papyrus thesis outline.
Dania frowned as she pointed at the book "Resonance Theory".
"The words on it are all twisted and contorted; it makes me lose my appetite."
Dania:(›´ω`‹ )
"I'd rather unclog Yeqi's toilet than study calculus."
"Those symbols look like moldy tentacles; just looking at them will lower your sanity."
Aimis buried her face in the sofa cushions.
"Those symbols must be the devil's spells."
"Last night I dreamt I was trapped inside an integral sign, and almost got sliced into sashimi by the differential operator."
Linnai held the papyrus, pondering rhetorical devices.
"I want to write a long poem to denounce this inhumane assessment system."
"The title should be 'The Adolescent Soul Stifled by Final Exams,' and it's guaranteed to win the college literature award."
Zhou Yu nodded, walked to the wall, and tore down the "Dania Feeding Plan".
He flipped the cardboard over, stapled it together, and picked up a red marker.
If conventional teaching methods don't work, then let's try a different approach.
"Dania, come here."
A crooked square was drawn on the whiteboard.
"What's this?"
"Ribs."
Dania's eyes lit up.
"Sweet and sour pork ribs, and add plenty of sesame seeds."
Zhou Yu drew a few small circles next to it.
"This is spiced soy sauce and sugar."
He pointed to the square and wrote down the law of conservation of energy.
"This 'E' represents the total energy invested, which is the Star Coins spent on buying the pork ribs."
"The 'm' represents the substance, which is the pork rib itself."
"C² is the mass-energy equivalence coefficient, which can be understood as the skill of the cafeteria worker in flipping the wok."
"The better the cooking technique, the more fragrant the ribs will be, and the higher the conversion rate will be."
Dania's head bobbed as she followed the pen's movement, her gaze gradually becoming focused.
"Ultimately, a portion of the energy output becomes the feeling of happiness after being full; this is effective output."
Zhou Yu drew a smiley face to the right of the equals sign.
"The other part is the aroma and steam emitted during cooking, which represents a cost loss."
"To maximize happiness, we need to improve the cook's skills and reduce heat loss."
"Do you understand?"
Dania was silent for three seconds, then clapped her little hands.
"I understand!"
"We need to fire the guy at window number two who burned the food, and give the guy at window number one a raise and a new pot lid!"
"We also need to install a powerful exhaust fan in the kitchen to draw all the aroma back into the pot; not a single drop can be wasted!"
Zhou Yu nodded and stuffed the book into her arms.
"This child is teachable."
"Now, apply this model to all the formulas in the book and write a report on optimizing the cafeteria's operating costs."
"If the word count is insufficient, add the severance pay calculation for the uncle at window number two, and remember to pay the full N plus one according to labor law."
Dania nodded, holding the book, and sat down on the small stool to turn the pages.
"This formula calculates the energy loss during the thawing of frozen pork ribs, and that one calculates the soy sauce penetration rate."
"Zhou Yu, how much does adding hawthorn shorten the meat tenderization time? This question isn't answered in the book."
Chisaki adjusted her glasses and quickly started taking notes on her tablet.
[Case Study 1: Cognitive Meme Pollution - Degrading High-Dimensional Physics to the Instinct of Appetite; Suggested Name: Sweet and Sour Pork Ribs Learning Method]
[The observed subjects have entered a state of flow, with a 400% increase in knowledge absorption rate. It is recommended that this be extended to the entire hospital.]
Zhou Yu took a sip of Linnai's papyrus.
History is meaningless because we never found the melon.
He lowered his voice, his expression mysterious.
Do you know why the Northern Territory supply line was cut off for three days Third Defense of Gloryfire Military Port?
Linnai:(⊙_⊙)?
The textbook says it was an encounter with a polar storm.
"Fart."
Zhou Yu chuckled.
"The real reason was that the general in charge of logistics discovered his wife's affair with a wealthy merchant from the Northern Territory."
"In a fit of anger, he sailed all three ships carrying military supplies into the glacier."
"This matter was classified as top secret, numbered 734 in the high-level files back then."
Linnai's eyes widened, and she gripped the quill pen tightly.
Linnai:(✧ω✧)
"Anything else? Anything else?"
"What happened to the general afterward? Wasn't he court-martialed?"
"Besides."
Zhou Yu opened the history book.
Why was the signing of the Solaris Peace Treaty scheduled for the day before Stellar Radiance Festival?
"Because the New Federation's chief negotiator was in a hurry to get back and snag a limited-edition amusement park doll for his daughter."
He flipped the table at the negotiating table, saying he would declare war immediately if the other side said another word.
The other party was so frightened that they signed the document overnight.
"That doll was later confirmed to be a rare, discontinued item, and now it's fetching astronomical prices on the black market—enough to buy a small starship."
Linnai listened intently, then leaned close to Zhou Yu, spread out papyrus paper, and began to write furiously.
She marked the unofficial historical accounts next to the timeline, completely immersed in the forefront of gossip.
"This isn't a history book; it's a collection of gossip from the federal high command! It's way more interesting than any serious documents!"
"Zhou Yu, tell me again why the commander of the Third Fleet is bald. I'm missing this material for my thesis!"
Aimis was holding "Introduction to Mechanical Engineering" and almost cried.
Aimis:(ಥ_ಥ)
"Zhou Yu, I really can't do this."
Even if you explain it as a formula for calculating the length of a light stick, I still won't be able to learn it.
"Those calculus symbols recognize me, but I don't recognize them; forcing them together will only harm each other."
"Who told you to count it as a light stick?"
Zhou Yu picked up the book and turned to the chapter on integral calculations.
"Didn't you want to hold a solo concert?"
"Uh-huh!"
How should we price 10,000 tickets to maximize profits?
He drew a curve on the whiteboard.
"This curve represents your fans' purchasing power."
"The area obtained by integrating it is the total amount of money you can extract from your fans' pockets."
"Scalpers can calculate the derivative of a function over a certain interval, which is also called the slope."
"The point with the steepest slope is where fans' buying desire is strongest; they buy in large quantities there and then resell at a higher price."
"Do you want to be ripped off by scalpers, or do you want to use the money to buy new stage outfits and give back to your fans?"
Aimis gazed at the curve, her eyes reflecting countless star coins.
She snatched the book, her eyes burning with fervor.
"I studied!"
"I'll go calculate the functional relationship between fan loyalty and ticket price right now!"
"I'm going to wipe out all the scalpers, make sure they can't get a single ticket, and force them to buy at full price!"
Aimis:Σ(っ°Д°;)っ
The learning atmosphere in the warehouse is stronger than ever before.
Dania buried herself in research to optimize the cafeteria, Linnai frantically dug up dirt on the cafeteria, Aimis focused on calculating the model for exploiting consumers.
Sigelica leaned against the door, clutching her riot shield, thinking this cram school was even more outrageous than the Lahai-Roi Defense Line.
"You three, wake up! This is the final exam, not an internal skills competition within the Logistics Department!"
"Failing a course means losing Logistics Department benefits, and I'm counting on you guys to pass my final payment!"
No one paid her any attention; the only sounds were the rustling of pages turning and writing.
The warehouse lights went out and came back on several times.
Empty instant noodle containers and energy drink bottles were piled up in the corner.
Dania muttered to herself, her eyes swirling with dark circles.
"The calorie conversion rate can be optimized by 3%, and stewing the ribs for an extra five minutes will make them more flavorful."
"If we switch to a pressure cooker, the time cost can be reduced by half, and the table turnover rate will double."
Linnai's papyrus was covered with annotations, all of them shocking revelations.
"So the Minister of Education actually pushed for the reduction of academic burden because he couldn't get concert tickets. This is such a sure thing!"
Aimis's draft paper was filled with function curves, and the title read "Mathematical Modeling of Idol Economy".
"Raising the price of front-row tickets by 15%, and maximizing profits through bundled sales of related merchandise—I'm simply a business genius."
On the day of the exam.
Moning patrolled the corridor outside the examination room, holding a cup of coffee.
She searched the surveillance screen for the despair and collapse on the faces of those people.
Dania wrote with great enthusiasm, a satisfied smile playing on her lips.
"The solution to this problem is exactly the same as the principle of reducing sauce in braised pork; reducing the sauce over high heat is simply a matter of differentiation."
Linnai wrote furiously, her face beaming with excitement as she watched the drama unfold.
"The essay question was about the Gloryfire Military Port. I know the answer to that question; I even know the general's wife's name— Marina."
Aimis nodded as she did the calculations, outlining her blueprint for a business empire.
"The bonus question is about calculating ticket revenue. Isn't that a freebie? I could calculate the optimal solution with my eyes closed."
Moning frowned.
These academically challenged students are acting completely out of sorts.
"System, rescan the electromagnetic field for the exam room. It confirms there are no external cheating devices; this is absolutely illogical."
[Scan complete, no abnormalities found.]
Outside the examination hall, Zhou Yu leaned against the wall, drinking goji berry water from an old thermos.
He took out his personal terminal and ignored the warning email about exam discipline sent by the academic affairs system.
Open your email and create a new email. Enter the Solaris South Sea Holiday Hotel Reservations Department as the recipient.
[Subject: Letter of Intent for Cooperation Regarding Long-Term Monthly Subscription Service for Top-Tier Ocean View Suites During Summer]
He finished editing the message, looked towards the examination room, and pressed the send button.
"Director Mo, times have changed; your question bank needs updating."
"Rote memorization is outdated. What's important now is empowering people with underlying logic. There are solutions for working people."
Holiday scheduling should never be delayed by such trivial matters.