The court diarist duo

The next day, Shen Anxin was awakened by a palace attendant and only then remembered she was still in the imperial palace. She had to attend morning court shortly, and after that, she had to stay here and keep working. The cycle would repeat until the envoy delegation arrived.

Shen Anxin almost saw herself back at her company, toiling like an ox or a horse while her boss demanded overtime to rush a project. She couldn't go home, so she slept at the office and got straight back to work when she woke up.

She could get up a little later than she would if she had to travel to court from the marquis's residence, and the palace breakfast was much tastier. But this wasn't her own nest. Even if her body got some rest, she always felt as though her mind was working overtime.

At the thought that she was like an ox tethered in a stall, on call at any moment, resentment sizzled out of Shen Anxin.

To this, Chacha said, [This is a stress response from deep within the host's soul to similar situations in her previous life.]

Shen Anxin: [An ox or horse for a day, bound to that life forever. Oh, humanity, why on earth do you have to work?]

Chacha: [So you have food to eat and somewhere to sleep.]

Shen Anxin: [I hate it.]

Chacha: [Hate what?]

Shen Anxin: [I hate the first monkey that came down from the trees and walked upright. What was it thinking? Weren't the bananas in the trees tasty enough? We could have been roaming the jungle without a care, picking fruit when we were hungry and hugging tree trunks for a good long sleep when we were tired. Everyone was the same, no different from anyone else, but that one just had to stand out. Compete, compete, and now you and I are both oxen and horses.]

Chacha: [You don't want to get ahead, but won't you let the monkey get ahead either?]

In the Hall of Heavenly Mandate, everyone had been stealing glances from the moment the inner voice appeared.

What the hell kind of conversation was this?

They couldn't understand it, but they could hear the thick resentment.

Looking at the person who had arrived, they saw Shen Anxin wearing a thoroughly dejected expression, as though her vigor and spirit had been sucked dry.

How strange. Yesterday hadn't tired her out, had it?

Apart from eating melons, scaring them, and copying out one volume of the Heart Sutra, she'd been slacking off on everything else!

What had she done to look so tired?

Quite a few people had been unable to sleep last night because of her, yet they'd still pulled themselves together and come to court today!

The melons Shen Anxin had revealed last night had spread and been shared like wildfire. Several of the people involved could only cover their faces at court now, though some had completely given up on treatment.

What are you staring at? What are you laughing at? You think you can get away? Fortune's wheel turns, and once it's done with me, it'll come for you. Just wait.

Chacha: [Host, you're looking so listless. How about eating a melon?]

The victims' alliance beckoned like the grim reaper: Come on, come on~

The prospective victims' alliance frantically refused: No, no!

There were two exceptions: the court diarist and the assistant court diarist, whose job was to keep records.

They sat in a corner, effectively behind everyone else, so the two had always considered themselves outsiders. Shen Anxin wouldn't notice them.

Listening to the commotion, the two were already itching to get started.

Court diarist: "Assistant court diarist, brush and ink confirmed!"

Assistant court diarist: "Court diarist, paper confirmed!"

The two exchanged a look. Their brush tips were ravenous.

Shen Anxin: [Then give me a more entertaining melon.]

Chacha: [All right, host. Searching nearby... Fresh melon found, about the court diarist and the assistant court diarist.]

Shen Anxin: [The court diarist duo?]

Court diarist duo: *???!!!!!*

Wait! Aren't we the record keepers? Don't! Don't eat our melon! You can't!!!!

Before the ministers could react, they saw the court diarist duo suddenly leap up, looking ready to charge over.

Such a strong reaction. Could there be an earth-shattering melon here?

And it involved both of them?

Could the two of them have some unspeakable secret between them?

Someone from the "victims' alliance" immediately stepped forward to block the court diarist duo and covered their mouths as well, lest they spoil Shen Anxin's fun and cut off the others' melon.

The "prospective victims' alliance" couldn't resist becoming a melon-eating crowd at this point either. As long as the melon wasn't about them, they were naturally happy to sit back and eat it.

Even Emperor Hongyao and the princes, who were preparing to enter the hall, stopped in their tracks without thinking.

Emmm... Let's listen first.

Shen Anxin stole a glance in the court diarist duo's direction, but all she saw was a crowd of officials gathered together, with only the two men's heads visible.

They seemed to be having a heated discussion about something. They were probably discussing state affairs. What diligent officials. I really shouldn't gossip about them behind their backs.

Shen Anxin: [Come on, come on, what melon is it?!]

Chacha: [Besides their regular duties, the two have a side job outside the palace: writing erotic storybooks. One writes them, and the other provides the illustrations.]

Shen Anxin: [What's the big deal? Are they particularly explicit? At most, it's unbecoming of scholars and not something they can let outsiders know about. Sigh, they're supplementing their household income. That's understandable.]

Chacha: [No, they both come from prominent families and aren't poor at all. They do it entirely of their own free will.]

Shen Anxin: [A hobby?]

Chacha: [No, a way to vent their resentment.]

Shen Anxin: [What?]

The two men whose mouths were covered struggled frantically: Stop talking, please, stop talking.

The rest of the melon-eating crowd: They write storybooks and draw illustrations, not for money or as a hobby, but to vent resentment?

Whose resentment were they venting?

As they ate the melon, a few people vaguely sensed that something wasn't right.

Chacha: [Those two are responsible for keeping records at court. The more people say, the more they have to record. Even if they distill and condense it, it's still a huge undertaking. If the affairs of state are truly important, that's one thing, but sometimes the ministers argue back and forth over one matter without reaching any conclusion, while the two men's hands are nearly ruined. That's when they become very resentful.]

Shen Anxin: [I get it, I get it. They're wage slaves, after all. Then what?]

Chacha: [So whenever someone makes their wrists too sore to lift, they secretly take note, then adapt those people and write them into illustrated books. Since their subjects are all men, almost all the erotic stories they write are about male love.]

The melon-eating crowd: ...Wait! So... any of us could become the protagonist of one of their storybooks?

The assembled ministers were already desperately trying to remember how much they usually spoke at court.

Those who spoke little breathed a sigh of relief, while those who spoke a lot were already trembling in the legs. They didn't want to be the protagonists of erotic stories about male love!

Good grief, you two always look so honest doing your paperwork, but who knew you were so ruthless behind our backs?

Court diarist duo: Boo-hoo, we're finished.

Shen Anxin: [Holy shit! That's awesome! They've done what I've always wanted to do. Who wouldn't want to furiously write the coworkers and bosses they hate into a novel and torment them mercilessly? Better yet, make them give birth to eight babies at once!]

The melon-eating crowd: *!!!!!!*

What kind of horror story was that?! When it came to ruthlessness, she was the one!!!

They absolutely, absolutely must never offend this girl in the future!

Court diarist duo: ...Can men give birth too? No, no, that's not the point. The point is, our biggest secret has been exposed.

Several ministers around them were already glaring at them. They were all people who spoke quite a lot at court.

Those threatening looks seemed to say: You two had better pray you've never written about me! Otherwise, you'll find out why the flowers are so red!

At their head were Grand General Wu and Minister Zheng of the Ministry of Revenue. Their relationship had been as bad as ever for twenty years, ever since they entered court. They often argued endlessly over military provisions and pay, and their disputes were frequently mixed with personal feelings. They were probably the chief targets of the court diarist duo's resentment.

The court diarist duo no longer dared raise their heads and could only crouch on the floor, clutching their heads and begging for mercy.

Chacha: [Host, you really sympathize with them, but they're about to have terrible luck.]

Everyone instantly pricked up their ears.

Court diarist duo: No, we're already having terrible luck!

Shen Anxin: [What happened? Was their secret exposed and someone came after them?]