A Literary Giant Falls

Chacha: [You're so clever, host! You got it in one guess. Actually, their storybooks didn't sell well before. After all, the audience for southern wind stories was small to begin with, and their subjects were aging court officials. Who'd want to read that?]

Shen Anxin: [Can't be helped. They were purely venting and wouldn't care about sales.]

Chacha: [With sales so low, and the characters altered from their real-life counterparts, naturally no one connected the stories to the real people. That's why they'd been writing storybooks for years without anyone finding out.]

The ministers breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness, thank goodness. As long as the stories hadn't spread, it wouldn't be hard to collect them all. Their reputations were still intact.

Chacha: [But very soon, their newest storybook will become a huge hit across Great Qi, and even in Southern Xia!]

The ministers all sucked in a sharp breath and prayed frantically. There's no way I'm the protagonist of that hit story! I can't lose face all over Great Qi and then Southern Xia too. I really couldn't go on living!!!!

Shen Anxin grew excited. [Whose story is it? What's it about? How did it suddenly go from obscure to wildly popular? Is there something different about the story?]

Chacha: [Hehe, it is different. Before, they always wrote about a single protagonist. This time, they came up with two protagonists, meaning both men in the story are court officials.]

Shen Anxin: [Ohohoho~ Who, who, who!]

The ministers trembled: Don't be so excited! I'm scared!

Outside the door, Emperor Hongyao and the princes couldn't help stepping closer, afraid they wouldn't hear clearly enough. They had to hear every detail of such indecent matters to deal with them effectively.

Chacha: [They're General Wu and Minister Zheng.]

Shen Anxin: [I remember them!]

Shen Anxin immediately turned to look and saw two men in their forties, one imposing and the other upright and dignified. They stood among a circle of ministers with their backs to her.

Shen Anxin couldn't see that they were already trembling all over, their faces flushed red and their eyes nearly popping out as they glared at the two culprits crouching below.

Everyone else breathed a sigh of relief, then quietly edged closer to General Wu and Minister Zheng to stop them from flying into a rage and killing the two to silence them.

Chacha: [Actually, the court-recording duo had written separate stories about them before, but the response was lukewarm. This time, inspiration struck, and they went straight for a story about the two of them. Five hundred thousand characters in all! There are thousands of illustrations alone.]

The spectators: What the hell! Five hundred thousand characters! Thousands of illustrations! Weren't you writing storybooks to vent because you resented people for making your wrists ache?

What is this, then!

Look at us and tell us! Didn't writing five hundred thousand characters and drawing thousands of pictures tire out your wrists?!!!!!

General Wu and Minister Zheng were in a daze. They'd never imagined that someone would one day write a five-hundred-thousand-character story about them, but what the fuck, it was this kind of story!!!!!

And they'd already written about them before! Had the court-recording duo hated them that much?!!!

The court-recording duo: Boo-hoo-hoo, let us explain~

Chacha: [From childhood sweethearts, innocent and inseparable, pledging themselves to each other for life without fearing the wagging tongues, to growing suspicious of each other over a misunderstanding and becoming bitter rivals, until at last they reached a sea of hatred beneath a sky of love. Even as Minister Zheng was dying, he had to say to General Wu: "If you've got the guts, die for me! We'll fight again in our next lives!"

Minister Zheng died, and not long afterward, someone discovered that his grave had been dug open. There was another corpse in his coffin, dressed in armor.]

A glowing review from a fan: [They fell just short of happiness, but wasn't theirs still a love in which they lived and died together, with a promise to meet in the next life?]

Shen Anxin: [Damn, why do I kind of want to read it?!]

The spectators: ...It... it really does sound kind of interesting.

What was Minister Zheng thinking when he said that last line? Why was General Wu willing to die for love? So did they still love each other at the end? What kind of misunderstanding couldn't be cleared up?!

General Wu and Minister Zheng felt the strange, fleeting gazes of their colleagues around them. Goosebumps rose all over their bodies.

General Wu and Minister Zheng: Wait! Don't look at us! What's with those looks!! Why do you all look like you want to ask us about it?! There's nothing between me and this guy! That story has nothing to do with us, aah!

But at that thought, they felt a little guilty. The two quickly glanced at each other. We can't let them find out about what happened back then, not even if they beat us to death!

Otherwise, we're really done for!

Shen Anxin: [It's a shame it's a tragedy.]

Chacha: [Tragedies are what move people's hearts. This story made a lot of people cry, so word of its good reputation spread quickly within the circle.

In the near future, a talented lady will take a liking to it and write lyrics and music for it. That will let it break out of its niche in one stroke and become a trend.

Right after that, storytellers and opera troupes will take it up too. Southern Xia, especially, likes to boast of its more artistic atmosphere and loves this kind of unconventional subject matter, so it'll become a huge hit there.

Then its popularity will spread back to Great Qi. Whether they've read southern wind stories before or not, people will be driven by curiosity to give it a try, and that's when all hell will break loose.

Some court officials will read it too. Even though it's an adaptation, they'll immediately recognize who the characters are based on. Then, when they see those two at each other's throats, it'll be as if the story has come to life.]

By this point, the spectators were dumbstruck.

Among the storybooks in Great Qi at present, there really wasn't a single one that had become such a huge hit, especially not one that had swept through Southern Xia too.

But those two men were so... so... so pitiful.

No, we mustn't laugh. Even though their love is known throughout the world, we mustn't laugh!

This is a tragedy. Even though tragedies move people's hearts more, we mustn't laugh!

They're victims! Right, right, right, they're victims! Laughing will cost us merit!

General Wu and Minister Zheng were already finding it hard to breathe. A lifetime of honor! A lifetime of honor!!!!!

Could they raise their hands and strangle those two bastards now? Could they?!

Shen Anxin: [This really was... destined to be a huge hit!]

Chacha: [Later, when more than half the court officials know, it finally reaches the two of them. Naturally, they're driven mad with anger.

After all, even their families have started to suspect there's something between them. They take men to ambush the bookshop, swearing to catch the culprits.

They soon catch the court-recording duo. Not only are the two beaten so badly they can't get out of bed for three months, they're also brought before the emperor.

It's a difficult case to judge, but the impact is too great. In the end, the court-recording duo are dismissed from office.]

General Wu and Minister Zheng: Hmph! They got off lightly!

The court-recording duo: Boo-hoo-hoo, thank goodness. It's enough that we get to keep our lives. We'll never dare do it again!

Shen Anxin: [Tsk, tsk, tsk. And so two literary giants fall! But those two really were nasty. There's nothing wrong with basing characters on real people, but you can't let outsiders tell.]

The spectators, who wanted to earn back a little merit: Exactly, exactly!

The court-recording duo: ...Boo-hoo-hoo, we'd always written stories to that standard before, and no one ever noticed! Besides, we made all the stories up. How were we supposed to know this one would really become a huge hit, and the fans would be bored enough to go looking for the real-life models, forcing every detail to fit?!

Chacha: [Don't you want to read it, host?]

Shen Anxin: [Making up stories like this about one's elders-where are their morals, where is their conscience? Where is the bookshop?]

At first, everyone had thought Shen Anxin really cared. Of course! That's just like you! So... does Chacha know where the bookshop is? They wanted to read the story... no, to criticize that utterly fabricated storybook.

Chacha: [It's Tongyuan Bookshop, the one you usually buy storybooks from.]

Everyone: Remember that, remember that.

Shen Anxin: [Strange. How could I have missed a story like that? Could it be that they haven't finished writing it or haven't handed in the manuscript yet?]

A powerful hope instantly flared in General Wu's and Minister Zheng's eyes. Could they still have a chance to start over?

Chacha: [It only went on sale the day before yesterday. You probably didn't have time to go.]

Shen Anxin: [Oh, I was run ragged over dressing as a man then. I missed it, I missed it. I have to go buy it later.]

General Wu and Minister Zheng: No, we swear you'll never be able to buy it.

They had to sweep the bookshop clean and get every copy back! They had to preserve their lifetime of honor!

Their faces turned fierce, and even a civil official like Minister Zheng showed killing intent.

Naturally, no one else dared cross them. What a pity. It would probably be the last of its kind.

The two grabbed the court-recording duo and were about to ask Emperor Hongyao for leave so they could hurry and deal with the matter.

Shen Anxin: [Huh? Chacha, spoil the most important part for me first! Which one of them is the wife, General Wu or Minister Zheng?]

General Wu and Minister Zheng both stopped dead in their tracks and instinctively glared at each other, neither willing to concede.

General Wu: I've charged across battlefields and killed countless enemies, and I'm powerfully built. No matter how you look at it, that stinking abacus over there is the one fit to be the wife.

The military officials: We support General Wu!

Minister Zheng: I've overseen Great Qi's treasury without ever making a mistake. More importantly, I'm a little taller than General Wu. Clearly, that brutish warrior over there is the wife.

The civil officials: Rise up, Minister Zheng!

Chacha: [The book doesn't say explicitly. It describes General Wu pinning Minister Zheng down, but it also describes Minister Zheng pinning General Wu down...]

General Wu and Minister Zheng: Aaaaaah, we were wrong, we don't want to know anymore! Stop talking, stop talking!

Everyone listened excitedly, holding fast to General Wu and Minister Zheng, who were on the verge of going mad.

Sure enough, it was most enjoyable to watch someone else's scandal.

Just then, Eunuch Chen called out, announcing His Majesty's arrival.

Emperor Hongyao: If I don't come out now, my civil and military officials will die here, and take the court-recording duo to the grave with them.

Interrupted by the arrival of the emperor and princes, Chacha and Shen Anxin stopped chatting and hurried to take their places in line.

Emperor Hongyao had barely settled into his seat when General Wu and Minister Zheng rushed forward and knelt before him one after the other.

"Your subject has a matter to report..."

"Your subject also has an important matter..."

Emperor Hongyao raised a hand. "There's no need to rush, my two beloved ministers. I have already sent people to handle the matter troubling you."

Both men looked miserable. Sure enough, the emperor had heard it too. They were utterly mortified.

But with the emperor taking action, he would surely be more efficient than they were. Hopefully, he could stop it from spreading in time.

Listening from the back, Shen Anxin was rather baffled.

[What happened? What are they talking about? Huh? How come it's General Wu and Minister Zheng? What a coincidence. I was just eating their melon.]

Everyone's hearts jolted. They still weren't sure whether Shen Anxin would make any connection under the circumstances.