Despicable Me

True title: Guming Is a Stupid Kid—Haha, I Didn't Say That.

-----------The protagonist's characterization and presence are too weak, so the author decided to do something-------------

Saber and Lancer silently stared at each other.

The Knight King saw confusion and doubt in the spearman's eyes. She knew it had been caused by Caster's words, by the doubts they had planted in his chivalric code.

How should she answer him—or rather, how should she answer herself?

Should she tell him that the faith he had always upheld was not wrong? What a joke. Given Lancer's circumstances, that would be nothing but an insult to his character and intelligence.

Should she tell him Caster was right? Then what was she supposed to do afterward? Reform the chivalric code as Caster had suggested, using her identity as the Knight King?

But what right did she have to do such a thing?

A noble knight, an absolutely righteous king—the decay and corruption hidden behind those supposed titles, the truth revealed by the road's final outcome... How could she once again issue commands from the position of a superior?

Absolutely righteous—yet that righteousness was merely the righteousness of a mistaken ideal. Saber had already realized that truth, but she could not bring herself to admit it aloud...

Was there really no way?

And what would happen if she admitted it?

Hadn't the things she had always defended already begun to crack when she saw Lancelot descend into the world as Berserker, and saw the bond between the tyrant King of Conquerors and his retainer?

If it could no longer be repaired, then why not simply destroy it and rebuild—Wait, what am I thinking!?

Caster's provocation, Sir Lancelot's counsel, Rider's angry rebuke, Archer's mockery, Lancer's question—No, I can't keep thinking about this!

She had to do something to distract herself. She had to say something—but what?

—Right! She could use this to change the subject:

"Caster, why are you so determined to change the chivalric code?"

---------------------Perspective Shift-------------

Jizi had taken in all of Saber and Lancer's struggle and pain. At this point, she should have struck while the iron was hot, using sharp and cruel questions to utterly shatter their convictions before reshaping them according to her own will.

But at this very moment, she too had fallen into a psychological crisis.

It was the intense self-loathing Jizi herself had displayed from the character setup in the prologue onward, yet which had never truly surfaced before.

Before her transmigration, ever since her mother's death, her heart—when she had still been a he—had remained closed off. She had completely immersed herself in a virtual world and given up on herself. Only after her younger sister appeared did she improve slightly, but then that accident happened—it drove her self-loathing to its peak.

She did not like herself. She despised herself. She even hated her own existence.

If I didn't exist, Mother wouldn't have struggled to maintain a marriage whose love had already died, only to exhaust herself to death. If I didn't exist, Father wouldn't have had to worry about the relationship between my stepmother and me. If I didn't exist, my sister's eyes wouldn't have been injured. Such thoughts had appeared in her mind more than once.

Living wasted air, dying wasted land—that had always been her self-mocking description of herself.

Yet she feared death too—and that cowardice made her hate herself even more. To deceive herself and feel a little better, she kept telling herself that she had to at least make up for the harm she had caused her sister. So she desperately did everything she could to make her sister's life better. Aside from being on call twenty-four hours a day to be ordered around, practically stalking her all day under the name of "protection," she also found time to study medical knowledge. If she had not been ironed to death by an electric iron, she had already planned to apply to medical school—though she knew that, with current medical standards, her sister's eyes could not possibly be cured. Still, she had to force herself to do something.

And now, she had an opportunity to make up for her greatest mistake.

"I thought I would definitely give everything I had to achieve this goal."

And in truth, that was exactly what she had done. She had used schemes to put herself in an advantageous position, allied herself with other powerful figures, used methods that could only be called despicable to shake her opponents' convictions and even sow discord among them. She had deliberately disguised herself as someone who fit others' preferences in order to leave a good impression. Her ultimate goal was to use them.

That was right, use them...

Berserker and Rider should be able to counter Archer. Lancer and Saber had an agreement to duel—and judging by the current situation, Saber had the better odds. Then Saber and Berserker would fight as well. After that series of battles, the final opponents left standing would surely have little fighting strength remaining. At that point, all she had to do was step in, spend another ahoge, and she could easily claim victory.

Despicably using them...

She would not need to do anything. She only needed to play the role of "their ally." She would not have to take any risks, yet she could enjoy the fruits of victory without lifting a finger.

If things followed this script, she would definitely succeed. Then her sister's eyes could be healed. For that goal, she should be willing to do anything...

Then why did she now feel such deep disgust toward herself?

If she could make it up to her sister, wouldn't that give her a reason to forgive herself?

Or was this merely self-satisfaction after all?

No, even if it was self-satisfaction or self-deception, I truly want to cure her—as long as I get that result, the motives and process don't matter, right?

Hmm, Saber, what are you saying?

Aha, so you want to change the subject? Did you think I hadn't considered this outcome before coming here?

As for your question, I'll answer it with another despicable deception—fortunately, I had planted the seeds beforehand.

---------Monologues are pretty good too, aren't they? Shakespeare's classics all have them---------

Why did she want to change the chivalric code?

Upon hearing Saber's question, Lancer suddenly snapped awake and looked at Jizi with wary eyes.

They were enemies—no matter how friendly this Caster appeared, it did not change the reality that they would have to fight to the death for the one omnipotent wish-granting machine.

Then what was Caster's motive for trying so hard to shake their spiritual convictions?

Though it seemed Caster had nothing to gain from it, she was a witch!

Throughout the dark Middle Ages of the West and for the long period after the Renaissance, fear and hatred of witches had firmly occupied people's minds, becoming a widespread cultural phenomenon.

No matter what kind of person someone was, no matter how they usually conducted themselves, once they were branded a "witch," everyone—including friends and family—would hate them.

It was a civilizational tragedy born from the Church's culture holding dominance for so long.

Though these two knights were not so extreme—Celtic mythology had no shortage of witches appearing in heroic epics, playing roles that were both righteous and wicked—they possessed a deeper understanding of witches: one could never take a witch's words merely at face value.

Caster definitely had another purpose—even if they did not know what it was, that alone gave the knights a reason to stop thinking about her words.

When Jizi did not answer immediately, Lancer became even more certain of it. He prepared a righteous interrogation, intending to wrest back the atmosphere Caster had controlled all along.

"Why aren't you answ—"

He stopped abruptly as soon as he spoke, because he saw the expression on Jizi's face. It was an expression he knew all too well, the source that had begun his lifelong tragedy. It was the expression of love—knowing the road ahead led to hell, yet for the sake of the one traveling beside you, even hell's suffering would taste sweet, as though you were in paradise.

That made no sense. Though she was female, any human with a sufficiently high Mana level could resist the curse of this mole. Lancer did not know Irisviel was a homunculus. With Caster's abilities, how could she be affected by it? Besides, she had been perfectly normal when confronting him before. There was no reason for this to suddenly—Huh, Saber, why are you suddenly coming over to join in?

Clearly, because of his own special circumstances, Lancer knew Saber's gender. Naturally, he assumed the other Servants could see through it as well, so he never linked Saber and Jizi together at all. He immediately looked for the reason in himself instead—little did he know how misleading A-... no, I mean rare resources could be. Have you not seen the Soul Yooooooo Dream?

Of course, one of life's three inevitable delusions was also at work—She likes me.

"Knights must be faithful to love," Jizi said in a tone that matched her utterly resentful expression. "But that love brought him tragedy. I think vows that bind people like this should be changed too."

"Caster..."

"Rather, this is the part that needs changing most! Just look—whether it's Lancer, Lancelot, or you, it was all because of love and marriage that... In short, if love cannot bring a happy ending, then there's no need to cling to it so stubbornly, is there?"

With her acting instantly breaking through the heavens, Jizi successfully played the role of "a girl who exhausted herself scheming for love." Her previously forceful attitude was also mistaken for "trying too hard to conceal her shyness before the one she loved." While once again placing psychological pressure and guilt upon Saber, she successfully answered Saber's question and steered the conversation back. Most importantly, she had teased Miss Artoria again. Truly, one arrow had struck four targets.

Forcibly suppressing the intense self-loathing that had arisen again because of her despicable behavior, Jizi maintained an expression of expectation mixed with worry. Though shy, she still forced herself to look Saber in the eyes. Together with Lancer, who had no idea what he had imagined but had also turned his gaze back to Saber to await her answer, she visually raped... I mean, urged her with their eyes.

The first light of dawn was about to arrive, and this eventful night was finally nearing its end—

I was forced to sign up for driving school... Sigh, I won't possibly own a car for many, many years anyway, so what do I need a driver's license for? I want a wonderful vacation where I can stay home all day without going out, sleep in during the morning, and wake up in the morning!

There's a problem with the broadband... The days without internet are so depressing...

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