You Surely Don't Understand, Do You?

Real title: Guming, I understand how it feels when nobody is interested in side stories!

Love—the most incredible emotion.

What kind of power, what kind of miracle, what kind of creation allowed love to appear in this world?

Single-minded, yet filled with contradictions and entanglements; straightforward, yet equally complicated and mysterious; plain to see, yet sometimes utterly elusive. When you think you can see it clearly, everything before your eyes may become a blur; when you finally admit that you cannot see it clearly, you have already fallen deeply into it.

Why would the most loyal man betray the lord he revered most? Why would the young people of two feuding families drink poison together? Why would an official devoted to filial piety threaten his mother with his own death? Why would a noble celestial maiden abandon everything for a reunion that came only once a year?

And why would the Monkey King, a peerless hero, coldly push Zixia Fairy away again and again? Why would a princess of unparalleled beauty cruelly poison her own husband and child? Why could the fox girl and scholar, who were willing to give their lives for each other, end with nothing but the helplessness of being so close, yet worlds apart? (①)

Love—how should I describe you?

King Arthur, who did not understand human hearts, did not know. The twin-spear knight, who was trapped within the mountain himself, did not know either. The only thing they could clearly sense was what childish, laughable reason drove that silver-haired witch whom everyone feared.

"...My Majesty, my king, my love!"

"...The emotion filling my soul—I love you!"

"...If love cannot bring a happy ending, then stop clinging to it so desperately..."

The lie Jizi had invented earlier to escape Saber and Irisviel's pestering now had an unexpected effect, successfully defusing the two knights' doubts.

And the most exquisite part of that lie was that the feelings which had largely brewed it were not false. Jizi truly did love Miss Artoria, and that gave Jizi's performance even more "authenticity."

"But Saber isn't..."

"Hm? What is it, Lancer?"

"No, nothing. There's no problem..."

Lancer, who had been confused because of Saber's gender, instantly understood the crux of the matter and hurriedly swallowed the words he had not yet spoken—perhaps, in that witch's eyes, Saber was still that valiant young king.

"I..." Saber's expression was just like when Lancer had called on her earlier, a mixture of conflict and pain. She had wanted to change the subject and avoid her own heart, only to be perfectly led back to it.

Naturally, Jizi, who had orchestrated all this, would not let such an opportunity pass. She struck while the iron was hot.

"Please don't feel burdened by me. Although everything I say and do now naturally contains selfish motives, please believe me. I truly do not want to see you tormenting yourself like this again and again. I do not want to watch you stray farther and farther down the wrong path."

"The wrong path..." Saber slowly savored the meaning of those words. "Then Berserker really—"

"Yes, my king." Jizi admitted it directly, without caring that Lancer was right beside them. Since Saber had dared to mention Berserker first, it proved she trusted Lancer—of course, Jizi had even more reason not to care about Lancer, namely that he posed no threat at all now.

"Because I could not bear to see someone once noble and glorious defiled by such a fallen appearance, and because we share similar wishes and positions."

"Is it because of me again?" The pain in Saber's heart deepened once more. It was all because of my mistakes that Lancelot was willing to appear in this world even in that form. And this Caster before me, who looks like nothing more than a little girl, is also because of me... I'm clearly not someone worthy of your admiration!

"My king! Even if you returned to before the king-selection ceremony through the Holy Grail, even if you denied the history that followed, you would still draw that sword in the end! The heroes of that era would still be drawn to your light! Those legends would still have you as their protagonist!"

"What do you understand?" All the emotions Saber had suppressed suddenly erupted upon hearing Jizi's words. "What do you understand?! All you see is my glory. What you love is merely an existence made perfect by the many halos added by later generations! Do you know the shadows behind it all? Those tragedies! Those deaths! And the kingdom that ultimately fell apart!"

"I truly do not understand. Everything I know about you comes from historical records and legends. If the gap between those records and reality means I cannot truly understand you, then what about your knights? What about your people? The companions who created those legends alongside you—were they, too, like me, merely attracted by some constructed image?"

It was another piercing blow. Because she was so familiar with Saber, Jizi had long simulated every possible development in the debate within her mind and prepared fitting rebuttals. Her voice was not loud when she spoke, but the force around her still pushed back someone as powerful as Saber by a step.

"You still have not understood the most fundamental issue. What needs to be corrected is not your existence itself, but your attitude and thoughts." Jizi's steady gaze rested on Saber as she slowly continued guiding her words.

"Take me as an example. I am standing here now, speaking with you, performing with you upon a grand stage. The one I know now is the real King Arthur, not a symbol from a book. No matter how much you doubt yourself, I still dare say this—after truly getting to know you, I love you."

Saber raised her head and met Jizi's gaze. Those fiery crimson eyes were so clear that Saber saw her own reflection within them. Was that truly herself—the haggard figure with confused, unfocused lake-green eyes? Is this the person you fell in love with?

"And it is not just me. Everyone else must be the same. Lancer, although you and Saber are both heroes of Celtic mythology, you did not know each other in life. Now that you know Saber, have witnessed her sword, and have also seen the pain in her heart, do you acknowledge that she is still a king worthy of respect and loyalty?"

Lancer, suddenly called upon, was startled at first. He was arguably the most awkward person here right now. When they had been discussing chivalry, he could still interject once or twice, but now the topic seemed to have become a relationship issue between Saber and Caster. His own emotional troubles were already an uncuttable, unresolvable mess, so how could he meddle in someone else's affairs? But if he simply left like this, Kayneth's five girls were still in Caster's hands—so he quickly answered:

"Yes, yes. If Saber does not deserve that honor, then no hero truly does."

What he was actually thinking was that they should quickly settle Kayneth's five girls' problem, and then the two girls could do whatever they wanted—grind beans or polish mirrors, it would have nothing to do with him.

Hearing Lancer and Jizi's acknowledgment, Saber gradually calmed down. She took a deep breath. "You have both seen me make a fool of myself. That was truly improper. Let us return to the original question, Caster—"

"Chivalry? We have already reached this point. Is there any need to continue? The answer is already there, isn't it?"

Saber and Lancer exchanged glances, and both saw a trace of helplessness in the other's eyes. Caster truly was an outstanding witch. She had successfully convinced the two rather stubborn knights to acknowledge from the bottom of their hearts that chivalry had flaws. But actually revising it would be a massive undertaking. Not to mention that they were Servants with limited time in this world—even if they truly created a new code of chivalry, what then? This was no longer the age of knights.

An inexplicable sadness...

"The dead cannot be pursued, but those yet to come may still be awaited. My king, rather than fleeing by denying yourself, why not consider what you can do with this rare opportunity to manifest in the present? For example, Berserker, between him and you..."

Seeing through Saber's thoughts, Jizi spoke again.

"Then how am I supposed to face those who died because of my failure?"

"If you truly changed history, then you would be even less able to face them, wouldn't you? They chose to follow in your footsteps. They gained glory and death because of it, becoming part of the legends. Those were all their own choices, yet you want to erase all of it. Do you think they would truly be willing?"

Once again, Jizi left Saber speechless. Rider had voiced the same argument once before, but at the time Saber had been angry from being mocked and naturally could not analyze it as calmly and rationally as she could now. Besides, she had a much more favorable impression of Jizi.

Watching the little golden-haired lion perhaps avoid the tragedy of her original fate because of her own actions, Jizi also felt something called relief. At that moment, Lancer, who had been standing around for a long time, finally spoke.

"It seems you two have more or less settled your business. Then, Caster, shouldn't we discuss ours?"

Turning her head away from Saber, Jizi's expression became a strange and dangerous smile.

"Oh? This arm? Are you still going to blindly remain loyal to someone like Kayneth? Why not take this chance to join my side? I can guarantee that I will not use Command Seals to twist your will, nor will I doubt your loyalty. You will be able to fight honorably alongside other heroes. Everything is negotiable, dear~"

----------I actually didn't use a divider in the main text of this chapter----------

Notes:

①: I am sure that learned readers like yourselves can recognize them, but let me show off a little anyway. They refer, in order, to the stories of the Knight of the Yangtze, Romeo and Juliet, "The Peacock Flies Southeast," the Cowherd and Weaver Girl, A Chinese Odyssey, Medea, and Jiaona.

There were a few more lines afterward, but I removed them because they were too immersion-breaking. I will include them here instead:

Why must a tsundere burdened with a clan's blood feud and a blond boy sealing a powerful monster keep fighting? Why must demon-exorcist sisters entangled with the cause and effect of the Killing Stone turn their blades against one another? Why would a man who ascended to godhood become miserable and lonely after the world's greatest detective died? Why would Yakumo Kuren, after being killed by Yakumo Yukari, still erase her memories? Why is there an encrypted folder on Director Luo's D drive?

It is all because of—love! Love! Looooove! The name of this feeling is. Called. Love. Ahhhhhhh!

②: When Heroic Spirits manifest in the world, their age is chosen from their prime years. Saber's appearance was fixed due to the scabbard, so she looked like a young girl. Thus, Jizi's sixteen- or seventeen-year-old appearance was naturally taken for that of a little girl.

P.S. Crawling out of the grave is a relatively painful and lengthy process, so please understand... I will slowly come back to life... Really...

P.S. 2: I think side stories are pretty interesting. Do you really not like them?

If you think this book is good and want to avoid being unable to find it next time, please remember to add it to your bookshelf.

At the request of many readers, VIP membership with ad-free functionality is now available.

Click to view