The Underworld's First Chief Experience Officer! A Tiger Demon's Fantastic Drift!
"Fuxi! You old scoundrel! Give me back my customers!"
The roar of the Ancestral Dragon nearly overturned the entire River of Forgetfulness!
The rage materialized into a tangible dragon's might, causing the millions of souls queuing on the river to tremble in fear, and many of their souls were instantly weakened by the shock.
His dragon head, comparable in size to an asteroid, almost touched the bridge of Fuxi's nose.
The scorching dragon breath spewing from its nostrils caused garbled characters to appear in the data stream at the edge of the "Reincarnation Metaverse" light screen.
Visitor numbers for the "Rapids Ride" attraction on the River of Forgetfulness have dropped by 99% year-on-year for three consecutive days!
What does this mean?
This means that tens of thousands of employees in his Dragon Clan are staring blankly at the empty river every day, and even the spiritual energy consumed to keep the project running is almost becoming a negative asset!
"Ancestral Dragon Daoist Zulong, this is a market-driven activity; why get angry?"
Fuxi sat cross-legged in front of the light screen, not even bothering to lift his eyelids.
The River Diagram and Luo Script in his hand was spinning rapidly, with countless Hexagrams and runes appearing and disappearing, clearly an emergency fix for a newly discovered bug in the "Metaverse".
His tone was indifferent, as if he were expounding on the ultimate truth of the universe.
"Online transformation is the future, an inevitable trend. Those who cling to outdated methods and fail to innovate will inevitably be eliminated."
These words hit every brick-and-mortar store owner's sore spot perfectly.
"Fuck your mother's spiced tempeh!"
A clear phoenix cry rang out, and Yuanfeng's magnificent feathered robes stood on end in anger, completely tearing away her elegant and noble disguise.
"My 'Nirvana SPA' burns with the primordial Southern Bright Leaving Fire, and the bath attendants are all direct descendants of the Phoenix Clan! Can your lousy painting even simulate the tactile sensation of the Origin Great Dao?"
"That is!"
Primordial Kirin also rushed up in a muffled voice, his honest face full of grievance.
"That's Sage- level big data deduction, a true secret of reincarnation! Can the virtual professions in your painting be eaten as food or eaten as fruits of enlightenment?"
In no time, the "offline physical store owners alliance," led by the Founding Ancestors of the Three Tribes, surrounded Fuxi.
Everyone was talking animatedly, as if to say, "If you don't get your data back today, we'll show you what a physical internet outage is like."
Just as this Sage business battle was about to escalate into a full-blown brawl.
A soft, childlike voice, with a slightly sticky, fruity sweetness, gently entered.
What are you arguing about?
Lin Shen hugged a banana-flavored Ginseng Fruit was almost as tall as him, his mouth full of golden flesh. He tilted his little head, his big eyes filled with innocent confusion.
"Uncle Fuxi's paintings are so much fun, and Grandpa Dragon's boats are so much fun too! Why are you arguing?"
Upon seeing Lin Shen, all the Primordial World giants, who were on the verge of battle, seemed to have their tensions put on hold, instantly extinguishing their anger.
The terrifying divine power dissipated, and the ferocious expression management was activated.
They all forced smiles like chrysanthemums on their faces, vying to pour out their grievances to this "Highest Arbitrator" and "Chief Mascot" of the underworld.
"Young Master! You must stand up for us! Fuxi is monopolizing the industry!"
"Yes! He tricked all the ghosts into his lousy painting, and now we're all going bankrupt!"
Lin Shen listened to their cacophony of complaints, his small head filled with a huge question mark.
He doesn't understand what a monopoly is, nor does he understand what bankruptcy is.
His logic is simple and pure.
Fun things should be available to everyone.
So he offered a solution using his childlike, simple, almost truthful logic.
"Then... let's find a gray-haired kid and have him play with all the fun things."
"Then just ask him which one is the most fun, right?"
Find a user to do a review?
All the bigwigs were stunned.
This line of thought... seems to make some sense?
Forget all the mutual flattery and mudslinging; let the customer experience speak for itself!
This is truly the simplest of truths!
"Okay! Let's do it this way!"
Ancestral Dragon was the first to respond, nodding his enormous dragon head like he was pounding garlic. He had absolute confidence in the stimulating power of his own project!
Thus, an emergency selection process for a "Chief Experience Officer"—a position that would determine the future business landscape of the underworld—was launched.
Who should we choose?
You shouldn't choose people who have accumulated too much merit; their hearts are as still as water, and they might be chanting scriptures the whole time they go on Rapids Ride adventure.
You also can't choose evil spirits with heavy karma, because they are full of resentment and might tear Yuanfeng's SPA technicians apart on the spot.
Ultimately, through the big data screening of the "Karma and Merit Settlement Center" of Jieyin and Zhunti, a perfect "ordinary user" was accurately identified.
This is the soul of a tiger demon who was recently killed in Northern Continent of Ju Lu by a single slap while fighting with a fellow tiger from a neighboring mountain for mating rights with a female tiger.
He was neither good nor bad in life, a little cruel, but he never committed any earth-shattering evil.
Merit, three stars.
Karma, five forks.
Neither good nor bad, neither high nor low, it's practically the perfect portrait of the "mass consumer".
The tiger demon named "Hu Dali" was still in a daze at this moment.
He only remembers that everything went black before his eyes, and when he opened them again, he was floating in an incredibly strange place.
All around him were strangely shaped "giants" whose terrifying aura made his soul tremble.
"You are Hu Dali?"
A thunderous sound exploded deep within his soul.
He looked up in horror and saw only an endless expanse of golden dragon scales and an eye larger than the mountain in his hometown.
Hu Dali's legs went weak, and he was almost scared out of his wits on the spot.
"Don't be afraid, little tiger, we mean no harm."
A warm and gentle voice came from behind him. Hu Dali turned his head stiffly and saw a young man wearing a fiery red robe whose smile was warmer than the sun.
He is Hong Yun, the chief greeter of the underworld.
He skillfully stepped forward, patted Hu Dali's spirit on the shoulder, and began to coax and deceive him.
"We'd like to invite you... to experience our Underworld's latest full suite of entertainment facilities for free. After you complete the experience, you can eat as many Ginseng Fruit as you want in Zhen Yuanzi's Mount Wanshou Orchard!"
Under Hong Yun's patient persuasion and the ultimate temptation of "self-service Ginseng Fruit",
Finally, with trembling steps, Hu Dali began his "Fantasy Journey Through the Underworld".
Our first stop Hong Yun's "Mind Harbor Sofa Hall".
He was pressed down onto a huge, soft cloud-shaped sofa that felt like it could melt his soul. Several cat-shaped cushions nuzzled against him, Hong Yun even told him the story of "The Three Little Pigs" in a Sage, hypnotic voice.
Hu Dali had never been treated like this in his life. He was so comfortable that his eyes welled up with tears, and he almost converted to Buddhism.
The second stop was the "Karma and Merit Karaoke" of Jieyin and Zhunti.
He was swept by a golden light, and his meager three Merit Star and dazzling five Karma Cross were instantly projected in high definition onto the giant light screen of the stage.
"Ding ding ding!" Three crisp gold coin sounds.
"Waaah--!" Five long, mournful background music notes.
On the stage, a group of Lotus Boy faced him and, in unison, performed a highly sarcastic "Contempt Dance" using their lotus-root-shaped bottoms.
Hu Dali felt that he had lost all face, including that of his ancestors for eighteen generations.
The third stop is Ancestral Dragon's "River of Forgetfulness Social Death Rapids Ride".
He was shoved into a small keelboat and instantly engulfed in towering waves.
The 3D surround sound "Tiger Life Carousel" is forced to play.
He saw the warm image of himself being licked by his mother tiger when he was just born, and the river water beside the boat immediately turned a warm pink.
He saw again the bloody scene of his first hunt, biting off a rabbit's neck, and a handful of cold blood was poured over his head.
What devastated him the most was when the scene showed him as an adult, standing on a mountaintop facing the moon, letting out what he thought was a powerful and majestic courtship cry, which was actually completely off-key.
The wolf's howl, as loud as a broken gong, was amplified a thousand times by the surround sound effect of the River of Forgetfulness, echoing throughout the underworld.
Countless souls emerged from the river, pointing and whispering among themselves as they watched him.
Hu Dali Social Death on the spot.
When the boat reached its destination, he was completely out of his mind, vowing that even if he were to be mute in his next life, he would never utter another sound.
The fourth stop was Yuanfeng's "Nirvana Rebirth SPA".
After suffering the devastating blow of "social death," two phoenix fairies, so beautiful he dared not look directly at them, led him onto the rainbow bridge.
He was enveloped in the warmth of the Southern Bright Leaving Fire, not burning, but the ultimate warmth.
The Seven-Colored Divine Feathers gently brushed against his soul, washing away every inch of fatigue and shame.
To his surprise, a deep "Karma Black Mark" on the back of his hand had actually faded slightly!
Hu Dali was moved to tears; this service was definitely worth it!
The fifth stop was Primordial Kirin's "Three-Life Stone Future Planning Center".
Here, he devoutly made a wish for his next life—he wanted to be a lark with a beautiful singing voice.
His biggest regret in this life is that he sings terribly.
A wish is cast into the pool, and an animation immediately appears: a lark sings loudly on a branch, eventually attracting all the birds to pay homage to the phoenix.
Hu Dali watched with rapt attention, filled with hope for the future.
Finally, he was led to the dazzling "Reincarnation Metaverse" light screen, which resembled a nebula.
"Go in, young man."
Fuxi's wise and sophisticated voice rang out.
"Here, you can experience life as a lark in advance."
With endless anticipation for a wonderful life as a bird, Hu Dali plunged headlong into that bizarre and fantastical virtual world.
However, it only lasted three seconds.
"Awooo--!!!"
A scream a hundred times more piercing than the one in the River of Forgetfulness tore through the "Metaverse".
Hu Dali's soul was suddenly ejected at the speed of light, as if by an irresistible force!
He crashed heavily to the ground, his body convulsing, foaming at the mouth with white foam made of his soul. His entire soul became translucent, as if it would dissipate at any moment.
All the bigwigs were taken aback.
Is there a bug?
Hu Dali trembled, and with his last bit of strength, he raised his paw, pointed at the dazzling light screen, and issued the first and last "user complaint" of his life.