The Art of Nonsense

Makoto Ito: Awesome!

Makoto Ito looked at the requirement on the question sheet—no fewer than ten thousand words—and immediately felt his head ache!

What the hell were these ridiculous questions?

Unable to take it anymore, Makoto Ito picked up his pen and began writing...

At the very start, Makoto Ito wrote: Where leaves dance, the fire, too, lives on without end...

Minato Namikaze: Ah, that opening is really quite good! Where leaves dance, the fire, too, lives on without end! What a profoundly philosophical sentence!

Before Minato Namikaze had even finished speaking, Makoto Ito continued writing...

Today's question asks us to briefly discuss the Will of Fire and requires no fewer than ten thousand words. I think this is a very difficult challenge. Writing ten thousand words is truly far too hard for a Ninja Academy student like me!

But after giving it some careful thought, ten thousand words did not seem all that difficult. After all, I had already written over a hundred words, so there were only a little over nine thousand words left before I reached ten thousand!

Almost there, almost there! There were only a little over nine thousand words left now!

What exactly was the Will of Fire? All I could say was that this was a very profound question. As everyone knew, winter was colder than summer. But why was winter colder than summer? Because winter was colder than summer!

When you ate noodles, if you did not eat garlic, then you did not eat garlic!

Freshly boiled water could not be drunk immediately, because freshly boiled water burned your mouth!

When you had not eaten, you felt hungry. When you had eaten, you felt full. Therefore, when you were hungry, you should eat!

If you were quite pretty, then you really were quite pretty!

Just like that, Makoto Ito wrote a huge pile of nonsense on the test paper...

Then he continued writing!

Almost there, almost there! I was about to reach several thousand words. The task of ten thousand words was nearly complete!

Briefly discussing the Will of Fire was truly a very difficult question. But ten thousand words really was a lot. Still, I really was almost there—only a few thousand words left...

Just like that, Makoto Ito wrote a huge pile of repetitive drivel on the test paper and finally scraped together ten thousand words...

Madara Uchiha: Well, damn. I can only say, well, damn. What the hell are you even saying here?

Tobirama Senju: So this was the legendary art of nonsense? This old man had truly broadened his horizons!

Minato Namikaze: When I saw your first sentence, I thought you were going to write seriously?

Makoto Ito: What a joke! Me, write seriously? What serious person would write that? If someone could write something like that, could they still be called a serious person? Writing ten thousand words was already giving him plenty of face!

Tobirama Senju: Good boy, well done! If that Hiruzen Sarutobi dared to keep yapping, this old man would teach you all my forbidden jutsu! Then you could give him a proper beating!

Makoto Ito: You mean it? If you do, I'll go find him right now and give him two big slaps!

Tobirama Senju: Ahem... we could discuss that later...

Makoto Ito: Tch! You got me all fired up! I almost charged straight to the Hokage Office!

Just like that, Makoto Ito finally struggled through the written exam and at last welcomed the afternoon's practical training!

That afternoon, under Iruka's guidance, a group of little brats arrived at the training field, Makoto Ito among them...

Practical training consisted of one-on-one battles. Two students with similar rankings from the previous test would fight each other!

And according to past custom, Makoto Ito's opponent in every match was basically Naruto Uzumaki...

The winner could continue onward to challenge the next opponent!

Iruka stood before all the children and shouted loudly!

"Next, we'll begin the group matches!"

"First group: Sasuke Uchiha versus Yamamoto Isoroku!"

Mikoto Uchiha: Dear, look! It's Sasuke! Our child Sasuke is up!

Fugaku Uchiha: Mm, I see him! I hope he can put on a good performance!

And Sasuke's performance was indeed quite impressive. He ended the battle in just over ten seconds!

"Sasuke Uchiha wins!"

"Next are the contestants for the following match..."

Sasuke's performance had also won cheers from a group of girls led by Sakura!

"Ah, Sasuke is so handsome!"

"Yeah, yeah! I'm afraid no one can defeat Sasuke, right?"

"Of course! Sasuke has always been the top student of our grade!"

"Even many upperclassmen from the year above us aren't Sasuke's match!"

"Aahhh! As expected of Sasuke! I want to have monkeys with you!"

"Get lost! I'm the one who's going to have monkeys with Sasuke!"

"It should be me!!!!"

Seeing Sakura still cheering for Sasuke, Naruto immediately felt a little jealous!

"Damn that smug Sasuke! All he knows is how to show off!"

Madara Uchiha: ????? This was the practical combat training we'd been looking forward to???? Wasn't this just ninja playing house? Even Hashirama and I didn't play like this when we were kids!

This was the level of a class about to graduate? Could graduates like this even be called ninja?

Hashirama Senju: I have to say, this really was a bit of a joke!

Tobirama Senju: This...

At this point, Tobirama Senju truly had nothing to say! The facts were right in front of him. The current Ninja Academy really did seem to have been turned by Hiruzen Sarutobi into a place for ninja playing house...

Fugaku Uchiha: Sasuke actually knows ninjutsu! It's just that his opponent was far too weak! There was simply no need for him to use any ninjutsu!

Madara Uchiha: Shut up already. They're all trash!

Tobirama Senju: But then what was the point of the Ninja Academy? Clan ninja could learn their clan's secret techniques and all sorts of ninjutsu from their families. But when civilian ninja came here, didn't they end up learning nothing all the same?

Hiruzen Sarutobi, that damned bastard—what exactly was he doing? Was he trying to destroy Konoha?

The Second Hokage, Tobirama Senju, deeply regretted choosing Hiruzen Sarutobi as Konoha's Third Hokage back then!

The others in the group also lost any curiosity about this practical combat training. After all, if even the first- and second-ranked students were this weak, the ones after them would probably be even worse...

So no one was particularly interested in the upcoming matches either...

After all, the group was full of big shots. They really couldn't muster any interest in watching a bunch of trash fight each other!