Take My Thousand Years of Death!

"Too slow! This teacher is way too slow!"

Naruto kept shouting in the classroom. He was so bored he was about to start climbing the walls. Whether it was intentional or not, Team Seven's teacher had yet to show up, even after everyone else had left.

"Naruto, you're so noisy! Stop acting like an idiot."

"But, but why do we have to sit here waiting like idiots?"

"Maybe the teacher had something to do."

Sakura was nearly exploding with anger too, but she couldn't show it in front of Sasuke, so she had to hold it in.

"I should've gone home with Hinata and left a Shadow Clone here."

Naruto hung his head in dejection.

"Come to think of it, Naruto, you and Hinata have been close ever since you entered the Ninja Academy. How old were you when you met?"

"About four?"

"Huh, that early? Say, Naruto, won't being too clingy make the other person hate you? That goes for both boys and girls."

Sakura secretly glanced at Sasuke, only to find him staring at Naruto. A wave of displeasure rose in her heart, and she asked unwillingly.

"Why would we hate it? Hinata and I both like being together. Ever since I climbed over the wall and saw her that day, I don't think she's ever disliked me. We've always been happy together. She even made me a bento today."

Naruto proudly took out his bento box. Although he had already finished the food, he had carefully wrapped it in cloth and carried it with him.

"Lady Hinata can cook too?"

Sakura couldn't understand it. After the Uchiha clan had been wiped out, the Hyuga clan had firmly claimed the position of Konoha's foremost noble clan. Hinata's status had risen accordingly. A young lady born with a golden spoon in her mouth was actually willing to cook for Naruto.

"Hinata's never been interested in inheriting the Main Family. Hanabi will probably inherit it in the future, and Hinata's happy with that. That means she has more time to play with me too. Hehe."

"Gah. Hmph. Who knows how many people are lining up to marry into the Hyuga family because of Hinata? It definitely won't be a Dead Last like you."

Sakura had suffered a ton of emotional damage. Why were an idiot and a Dead Last moving faster than anyone else down the road of love? It wasn't fair!

"That's why I have to become Hokage, so everyone will know that Hinata's choice wasn't wrong."

"To make everyone acknowledge you... Teacher, you raised a fine son."

Kakashi, who had been eavesdropping outside the door, smiled faintly and pushed it open.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Kakashi Hatake, and starting today, I'll be your teacher... or at least, I'd like to say that. But if you can't pass my second test, then our relationship ends here."

After the introductions, Kakashi reluctantly memorized the three names and their traits. His already lazy eyes became even more listless.

Three of them. One genius, one Dead Last, and one lovesick girl. Lord Third, you really handed me a tough job.

"Teacher Kakashi, why is there a second test? Do you know how hard I worked to earn this forehead protector?"

"Well, the Ninja Academy graduation exam merely tests whether you can apply what you learned at school. You rookies are still far from being ready to slaughter enemies on the battlefield. Anyway, gather in the forest near the Memorial Monument at five tomorrow morning. And don't eat breakfast."

"You'll throw up."

Before leaving, Kakashi gave the three of them a look that could hardly be called friendly.

"Sasuke, um... want to eat together?"

Sakura shyly approached Sasuke and gathered her courage to invite him, only to be dismissed by a cold glare.

"Boring."

"Sasuke, don't get eliminated tomorrow."

"Hmph. If you can pass, then of course I can too."

Sasuke sneered and left without looking back.

"Try being a little gentler with girls, idiot!"

Naruto gave Sakura a sympathetic look and chased after him.

"...Sasuke talked to Naruto more than he talked to me too. Aaaah!"

The next day, the sky was still dim at five in the morning when the three arrived at the meeting spot. After exchanging good mornings, they began waiting for Kakashi.

One hour.

Two hours.

Three hours.

"Naruto!!! Stop sleeping and get up already!"

Sakura frantically yanked up Naruto, who had lain down on the ground to catch up on sleep. Anyone would go crazy after waiting around for five hours. Even Sasuke was impatiently scanning the area, hoping to catch sight of Kakashi.

"Why was I stupid enough to throw rock?!"

The first thing Naruto said after climbing up from the ground made no sense at all.

"What are you talking about? It's eleven o'clock, and Teacher Kakashi still hasn't shown up. Were we fooled?"

"It's not like there's anything I can do just because you told me."

"Sorry, sorry, I'm late. An old lady fell down by the roadside, so..."

Just as Naruto spoke helplessly, Kakashi suddenly appeared before the three of them, spouting an utterly unbelievable lie.

"Liar! Teacher Kakashi, you liar!"

Naruto was the first to refuse to believe him, pointing at Kakashi's nose as he cursed.

"Ahem. Enough talk. This alarm clock is set for twelve o'clock. Your task is to take two bells from me before then. If you do, you pass."

Kakashi awkwardly changed the subject and placed an alarm clock atop a wooden post, along with two portions of bento.

"Two? But there are three of us."

Sakura looked at the bells hanging from Kakashi's waist in confusion.

"Who said all of you could pass? Those who don't get a bell will be considered failures. You'll be tied to the wooden posts and made to watch us eat bento. You're all hungry, aren't you?"

"So that's why we weren't allowed to eat breakfast..."

A flash of anger crossed Sasuke's eyes. So Kakashi's warning yesterday hadn't been about intense training at all. It had simply been this guy's malice.

"Then let's begin. Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, Genjutsu—you can attack from any angle you like."

At Kakashi's command, Sasuke and Sakura each scattered off to find places to hide. Only Naruto remained standing blankly in front of him.

"You?"

"A real man fights openly! I'll take your bells from the front. Prepare yourself!"

Naruto flashed a confident smile, pulled out a kunai, and charged Kakashi, attacking his waist. As long as his kunai struck the bells, they would inevitably fall.

"Idiot. What an idiot."

There was still little emotion in Kakashi's lazy eyes. He easily dodged Naruto's kunai, grabbed the right arm holding it, and hurled him into the air. Then he formed the Tiger Hand Seal and shouted—

"Konoha Taijutsu Secret Art—Thousand Years of Death!"

"Eeeaaah!"

Naruto's butt was hit without any suspense. He screamed, then vanished into smoke with a poof.

"A Shadow Clone? Impossible. He's been in my sight the entire time. How did he do that?"

Kakashi's eyes were filled with shock. He could easily accept it if Naruto had hidden first and then launched his attack, but Naruto had used a Shadow Clone and swapped it with his real body right before his eyes without forming Hand Seals. Even Kakashi himself couldn't do that.

"Naruto, how did you do that?"

It wasn't just Kakashi. Sasuke, who had been observing from a tree, was stunned as well. He knew that doing something like that in front of a jonin was practically impossible, much less for Naruto, who had always been a Dead Last.

"Sasuke."

A soft call came from behind him. Sasuke whirled around in fright, only for Naruto to cover his mouth with a hand.

"Don't make a sound. He'll find us."

Naruto made a silencing gesture. Sasuke calmed down and nodded.

"Mmph."

"You've seen Teacher Kakashi's strength, Sasuke. We can't do this alone. If we attack together, we still have a chance."

The sensations from the Shadow Clone still left Naruto's butt faintly aching. To protect his butt—and to improve their chances of success—he chose to work with Sasuke.

"Fine. But afterward, you'll tell me how you did it."

Sasuke agreed. After Naruto used that move, he no longer considered him a Dead Last, but a useful Dead Last. If necessary, he would step on Naruto's head to seize that bell.

"No problem!"