A Girl's Dangerous Way of Thinking

"Let me go! Let me go, you idiot, Iruka!"

Naruto clung to the door like a gecko, his lower body held in Iruka's arms as the teacher tried his best to pry him off.

"Naruto! Stop fooling around! I'm not the one who assigned the teams, so making a scene here won't help!"

Iruka tugged while holding him, but Naruto was simply too strong. The door would probably come off first.

"Shut up! Hurry up and put Hinata and me on the same team!"

Naruto had learned today that the newly graduated genin would be split into three-man teams for a second assessment under a jonin. He had actually been placed with Sasuke and Sakura. It was not that he disliked either of them, but he still wanted to be on the same team as Hinata!

"I told you, I didn't assign them. Besides, don't you really like Sakura? You even said Sakura was your favorite."

"Ah! Don't go spreading nonsense! I said my favorite was sakura mochi, you idiot."

Naruto recalled several years ago, when Sakura had brought homemade sakura mochi to school to share with everyone. After eating it, his praise had somehow been mistaken for a confession. As a result, he had earned the label of a scumbag who liked both Hinata and Sakura.

"Don't call your teacher an idiot!"

"Then which idiot assigned the teams?!"

"That idiot, the Third Hokage."

"You called him an idiot too."

"You made me say it. Anyway, there's nothing I can do about this. If you want, take the door home with you."

Iruka gave up. No matter how strong his ninjutsu was, he was still just a tantrum-throwing brat. He let go of Naruto and walked out of the classroom.

"Damn it!"

On Konoha's rocky cliffside were enormous carved faces of the Hokage throughout history, known as Hokage Rock. It was one of Konoha's landmarks. Normally, people could only admire the previous Hokage from afar, but today something unbelievable had happened. The Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi's face on Hokage Rock had been covered in paint, with two enormous characters for "idiot" drawn across its forehead.

"Narutoooo!"

Iruka pointed at Naruto from behind in fury. He had still underestimated Naruto's stubbornness. The brat had actually vented his anger on Hokage Rock.

"Hehehe, if nobody else dares to do it, then I, Naruto-sama, will!"

Naruto sprinted through the streets. Quite a few villagers cursed when they saw what he had done. The Hokage were Konoha's faith, and seeing that faith defiled made people react as if someone had hit their most sensitive spot.

"You damned brat, you'll get what's coming to you!"

"Stupid kid!"

After turning a corner, Naruto was going too fast to stop. By the time he saw someone ahead of him, it was already too late. He crashed headfirst into the person's arms. Something soft enveloped his cheeks, and a fragrance like flowers drifted into his nose, leaving Naruto momentarily dazed.

"Mmm... smells so nice."

"Are you already such a little pervert at your age?"

The girl he had bumped into looked around fifteen or sixteen. She wore a beautiful kimono, and her black hair was tied into a ponytail that swayed behind her. Even after Naruto had taken advantage of her, she did not get angry. She merely reached out and pushed him away.

"I'm really sorry for running into you, miss. You smell really nice."

Naruto apologized softly. When he saw Iruka catching up again, he hurriedly ran off.

"Miss, miss, are you alright? I'll go catch that rude bastard right now!"

A bespectacled middle-aged man ran up to the girl, panting, and declared that he would tear Naruto into eight pieces.

"It was just a hug from a little brat. It's no big deal."

The girl shook her head and disappeared into Konoha's streets with her servant, as though they had never been there.

"Alright, hurry up and apologize to Lord Third Hokage."

Iruka threw the tightly bound Naruto in front of the Third Hokage. The old ginger was indeed spicier—Naruto had still failed to outrun Iruka.

"No."

"Naruto, do you have some complaint against me?"

The Third Hokage held a pipe between his teeth and stared at Naruto with piercing eyes.

"Yeah. Grandpa Third, you obviously know I like Hinata, but you still put me on another team. You even paired Hinata with two guys. I'm very dissatisfied."

"Huff... Are kids these days really maturing so early?"

The Third Hokage took a deep puff from his pipe. A trace of helplessness appeared in his stern eyes as he looked toward Iruka.

"Hehehe... I suppose so."

Iruka scratched his head. He knew the Third Hokage was really asking, What kind of students have you been teaching? Why aren't you doing anything about them dating so early? But the Ninja Academy had never said early dating was forbidden. Every girl in class aside from Hinata liked Sasuke, so how was he supposed to stop them?

"Kiba Inuzuka and Shino Aburame are both ninja capable of tracking enemies. As for Hinata Hyuga's Byakugan, I don't need to explain its capabilities to you. Their team will specialize in investigation and pursuit in the future. Hinata is the eyes, Kiba is the nose, and Shino is the ears. If you can surpass those two in this field, it would be fine to put you on their team, but..."

The Third Hokage tapped his pipe and did not continue.

"Urgh."

Naruto had no response and could only make a wounded sound.

"Big Brother, so you were here! I've been looking all over for you!"

Just as Naruto was about to compromise, Konohamaru suddenly ran in. His eyes were full of admiration as he rushed over and untied Naruto in a few quick movements.

"You're... that little runt from the other day?"

"My name is Konohamaru, Konohamaru! Big Brother Naruto, hurry up and teach me that ninjutsu you used to defeat Grandfather!"

"Master Konohamaru, could you stop running around... the Nine-Tails brat!"

Ebisu ran in after Konohamaru. He was startled when he saw Naruto.

"Master, you mustn't get involved with this guy."

"No! I want him to teach me ninjutsu."

"What?! You want to learn, yet instead of coming to the elite teacher Ebisu, you're going to this brat? That makes no sense!"

"But you can't do it, that ninjutsu."

"Impossible! Aside from Forbidden Jutsu, I have studied every ninjutsu to some extent. That is why I am qualified to serve as Master's teacher."

"Then can you do it? Sexy Jutsu."

"Sexy... Sexy? That sounds so obscene."

"Big Brother Naruto, show this guy your power! The ninjutsu that defeated Grandfather!"

"Fine, I'll show you. Sexy Jutsu!"

Konohamaru calling him Big Brother over and over made Naruto very happy. Without another thought, he used Sexy Jutsu.

Poof!

A cloud of smoke flashed, and a naked blonde girl appeared in the room. The Third Hokage, Iruka, and Ebisu all stared at her in stunned silence.

"Th-this kind of vulgar ninjutsu is nothing to me. That's right."

Ebisu looked disdainfully at Iruka, who had already passed out with a nosebleed. A civilian teacher was just a civilian teacher. Aside from blushing a little, Ebisu showed no reaction at all.

"Huh? Grandpa Third didn't pass out either."

"Hmph, don't underestimate the Hokage, brat. A move that has already been used once can never work again."

The Third Hokage pulled down the brim of his hat, covering most of what was in his line of sight, and spoke confidently.

"I see. Then... Multiple Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

The blonde beauty rested a hand under her chin as she thought, then formed Hand Seals. In an instant, dozens of naked girls appeared around the room, surrounding the Third Hokage and Ebisu.

"I call it... Harem Jutsu!"

Pfft!

No one knew what happened that day. They only knew that the Third Hokage and two teachers had been attacked by an unknown assailant and fallen into pools of blood. The incident was also listed as one of Konoha's unsolved mysteries.

"Making an old man like me lose so much blood... This is murder."

"That brat... I'm definitely going to beat him senseless."

"Big Brother, that was amazing! You defeated Grandfather again."

"Konohamaru, why do you want to defeat Grandpa Third so badly?"

"Because I want everyone's recognition. Everyone only sees me as the Third Hokage's grandson, not as Konohamaru. Nobody is willing to acknowledge me..."

"No, Konohamaru, you're wrong. You don't gain recognition after becoming Hokage. The person everyone acknowledges is the one who can become Hokage."

"Is that so?"

"That's right. There are no shortcuts on the path to becoming Hokage. Only the strongest ninja, acknowledged by everyone, can be called Hokage. I'm still working toward that goal too."

Naruto recalled his own childhood. For him, earning others' recognition had been far harder than it was for Konohamaru. Yet he had still won over the people on Grocery Street. That was the result of his efforts.

"Then we're enemies, Big Brother."

"If we're enemies, I won't teach you Sexy Jutsu."

"Don't, don't! Then I'll be your underling for now."

"Alright, then start by transforming into the people in this magazine. I'm going to Hinata's house. See you."

With a poof, Naruto disappeared, leaving only scattered smoke behind.

"A Shadow Clone? So amazing! I won't let Big Brother down."

Konohamaru clenched the porn magazine in his hand.

"Enemies, huh."

Naruto, who was sitting in the courtyard chatting with Hinata, received the memories from his Shadow Clone and curled his lips into a faint smile.

"Naruto-kun, I heard you painted Hokage Rock into a complete mess. Will you really be alright?"

Hinata's eyes were full of worry. Ever since Konoha had been founded, no one had dared lay a hand on Hokage Rock. Naruto's courage was truly too great.

"It's fine, it's fine. I'll clean it up later."

"Ah, you Dead Last are here again."

Naruto had wanted to enjoy some lovey-dovey time with Hinata, but a suddenly appearing girl interrupted him. Calling her a girl might have been a bit inaccurate—six-year-old Hanabi Hyuga was more like a little child.

"Oh, hello, Hanabi."

"Seeing you means it isn't."

Hanabi Hyuga sat down beside Hinata without any courtesy and ate every last piece of the apple Hinata had peeled for Naruto.

"Don't say that. I'm already a genin. Sooner or later, we'll be family."

Naruto pointed at the forehead protector on his head and spoke happily.

"Ugh, you're still thinking of marrying into the family? What a lack of ambition. No wonder you and my sister make such a fitting pair."

Hanabi Hyuga looked at Naruto with utter disdain. She had never liked this boy who had been constantly appearing at her home ever since she could remember.

"Hanabi, don't go too far."

Hinata did not mind being mocked herself, but seeing Hanabi Hyuga look down on Naruto made her a little angry. She gathered her courage and scolded her.

"It's true. Naruto is a Dead Last at school. My sister has good grades, but she can't even beat me in actual combat."

Hanabi Hyuga was not intimidated by Hinata. Instead, she became even more excessive. But she had the right to be proud. Despite being only six years old, she possessed extraordinary talent. She had defeated Hinata in a sparring match, earned Hyuga Hiashi's recognition, and begun training under him personally. Her strength had advanced by leaps and bounds.

"Don't be angry. Hanabi is just a child."

Naruto was used to people looking down on him, so he was not angry. Instead, he comforted Hinata.

"Do you want to fight?!"

"Then what kind of person does Hanabi want to marry into the family?"

"Is marrying into the family the only thing in your head? Unlike my sister, I want to marry a hero."

"A hero?"

"For example, when Konoha faces a great crisis, someone who steps forward, defeats a powerful enemy, and saves the village. That's probably what a hero is like. Anyway, it has nothing to do with you."

Hanabi Hyuga thought for a moment before describing the image of a hero in her heart.

"I see. When you talk about heroes, you mean the Hokage, right? Leaving Grandpa Third aside, every Hokage needed to accumulate plenty of experience. Except for the Fourth Hokage, who was called a genius, it seems they all became Hokage after turning thirty. Hanabi, your taste in men is really unique."

Naruto rubbed his chin in thought, suddenly wondering whether Hanabi Hyuga liked older men, which was why she disliked him so much.

"Ugh, sh-shut up! Stupid Dead Last!"

Hanabi Hyuga choked on his words. Thinking about it carefully, he was right. Heroes were tied to strength, so where could she find a hero who was both young and powerful? Her fantasy shattered, Hanabi Hyuga glared fiercely at Naruto and ran away.

"Huh? Did I do something wrong?"

"Naruto... you have the potential to be quite devious."

PS: Please bookmark and recommend.

PS: If you say that, girl, you'll get—I'm telling you, 233