Old Matters of the Far East

May 7, 776, Far East Military Academy

"Alright, students, class is now in session! Everyone settle down."

Over fifty newly appointed flag bearer officer cadets from various legions, attending the advanced officer training class, sat upright and listened to the lecture given by the sixteen-year-old vice flag bearer instructor, Zichuan Xiu.

"Today, I will be explaining military strategy: 'Swift as the wind, silent as a forest, aggressive as fire, immovable as a mountain!' What does this mean? It's quite simple. It means when you tuck your tail and run, you must be as fast as the wind, and when you see a forest, you hide inside it. What if the enemy decides to set the forest on fire? Then you 'immovable as a mountain' and die a stupid death. Do you all understand? Good, next line."

"'The art of war is of vital importance to the state. It is a matter of life and death, a road leading either to survival or to ruin.' This means that war, this business, is your lifeline—if there's no war, you'll be laid off, and your salary will be cut by sixty percent next month. Our President Commander is a benevolent ruler and cannot bear to see you all unemployed, which is why he often playfully picks fights with the Liufeng Family. From now on, don't misunderstand his good intentions. If someone accidentally wipes out the Liufeng Family, then all your livelihoods will be gone, and I won't let them get away with it!"

"Another passage says, 'When a state is internally without officials who can reform it, and externally without enemies, it will surely be forgotten.' — Do you understand now? For a country to survive, it must create trouble and invite more 'external enemies,' and then the country will 'surely survive'!"

"What if you can't win? If you can't win, then reason with the enemy! — This student, you're really slow, did you get into the flag bearers through the back door? — You can reason with them about anything, international law, international conventions, universal brotherhood, our love for peace and not bothering with you—anything is fine! — But whether the Liufeng Family listens to you is another matter entirely."

***

The flag bearer officers below began to whisper amongst themselves:

"Where did they find such an idiot to lecture us?"

"Lord Ge Yingxing personally approved his appointment as an instructor at the Far East Military Academy. I heard they're related—knowing he's an idiot, why would you choose his 'Tactical Theory' class?"

"It's not for the high grades he gives? He gives ninety-eight for passing exams and eighty-nine for not. It doesn't matter if you submit a blank paper, just misspell your name and lose three points. He never takes attendance, only teaches the first half of each class, and assigns no homework—where else can you find such a good instructor!"

***

"Instructor, could you please explain the meaning of the six types of terrain mentioned in the book: open terrain, entanglement terrain, critical terrain, bottleneck terrain, precipitous terrain, and distant terrain? And what are the specific requirements for their use in combat?"

"Excellent! This student's question is well-posed, meaningful, timely, insightful, and very perceptive... "

"Instructor, please answer!"

"Don't rush, how could I not understand such a simple question? This, this, the question's question is this question, what I mean is, ha, you'll understand once I say it, it's very simple—do you understand now?"

"No!"

"Oh dear, I didn't expect your comprehension to be so poor. There's no other way, I'll have to find someone a bit slower to explain it to you—Sterling, wake up, stop dozing off, help your instructor answer the question!" Zichuan Xiu quickly went to shake Sterling awake.

"Teacher Zichuan Xiu, I'm very slow, I don't understand this question," Sterling whispered, "One week's dinners, at Jintai!"

"Student Sterling, don't worry, think about it slowly!" Zichuan Xiu whispered, "You scoundrel, you might as well become a robber! I'll treat you to fried noodles at a street stall tonight!"

"Teacher, I suddenly realized I still don't know!" Sterling whispered, "Special discount price: five dinners at Jintai Hotel!"

"Student Sterling, I know you can do it!" Zichuan Xiu whispered, "Are you extorting me! Three portions of fried noodles, and no more!"

"Teacher, I suddenly feel a bit dizzy and can't remember anything..." Sterling remained unyielding:

"I am extorting you! — Who told you to go back on your word last time! Four dinners, and drinks included!"

"Student Sterling, you're too nervous, relax." Zichuan Xiu whispered, "Three meals, and I can consider Jintai Restaurant, but you bring your own drinks!"

"Ah, I'm going to faint, Teacher!" Sterling rolled his eyes and was about to collapse. Zichuan Xiu hurriedly supported him and shook him vigorously, "Wake up, wake up, hold on! Student Sterling!" he whispered, "Fine, you win! Jintai it is!"

"Ah, Teacher, I remember now!" Sterling, who had been on the verge of collapse moments before, instantly became spirited and answered loudly, "Open terrain is terrain that both sides can freely enter and exit. In such terrain, one should seize high ground and sunny slopes first, and protect supply lines. Entanglement terrain is difficult to enter but difficult to exit. In such terrain, it is advantageous against an unprepared enemy, but dangerous if the enemy is well-prepared. Terrain that is disadvantageous for both sides to advance is called critical terrain. In such terrain, it is best to hold your ground and ignore enemy provocations..."

"Hmm, that's acceptable, you've basically answered the key points correctly—That student, do you understand now?" Zichuan Xiu turned to Sterling, his tone stern, "Student Sterling, I am very disappointed in you! You took so long to answer such a simple question. In the future, on the battlefield, you will be responsible for the lives of tens of thousands of family soldiers, and life and death will be decided in an instant. Do you also expect the enemy to give you that much time to consider?"

Sterling then lowered his head in shame, deeply apologizing for failing to meet Teacher Zichuan Xiu's expectations.

Zichuan Xiu became increasingly angry, "What is genius? Genius is ninety-eight percent perspiration and two percent inspiration! You, relying on your little bit of cleverness, don't study diligently, and let pleasure distract you from your studies—When are you going to return that copy of 'PLAYBOY' to me? — You'll never amount to anything like this! Come, you'll come with me to the teaching office to reflect properly! Other students, you are free to study on your own!"

***

The two left the classroom.

"Hey, Xiu, you're too ruthless! You only taught for ten minutes and then escaped. Also, that excuse for skipping class seems like you used it last time, doesn't it? I don't even know how many times I've had to go to the teaching office with you to reflect."

"No way, you're mistaken! Last time it was that you had hemorrhoids and I had to take you to the infirmary—If I keep teaching this class, I'll go bankrupt! — Where's Di Lin? He didn't come to class today?"

"He went to collect protection fees."

***

In a dead-end alley, several junior students from the Far East Military Academy huddled together, fearfully watching the beautiful-faced Di Lin approach with a smile, "Good afternoon, everyone! Have you had your afternoon tea?"

One student, mustering his courage, said, "Boss Di, we already paid last week..." Before he could finish, Di Lin's heavy military boot kicked him in the face.

Di Lin handed him a tissue to wipe his bloody nose and said kindly, "You defecated last week, do you want to defecate again this week? Last time we collected money to commemorate the 125th anniversary of Princess Yalimei's death, this time it's to celebrate the 253rd birthday of the great Lord Zichuan Yun. The nature of the matter is completely different! — As a family officer cadet, aren't you filled with immense joy for this great occasion? Don't you all have any patriotic fervor? If that's the case, then I'm extremely disappointed..."

Di Lin clenched his fists, making a "crackling" sound—fully expressing how "patriotic" Di Lin the flag bearer was, and how "disappointed" he was in these "unpatriotic individuals."

At this moment, Sterling and Zichuan Xiu appeared at the corner of the alley. The few military school students, as if seeing saviors, immediately shouted, "Help, Instructor Zichuan Xiu! Di Lin is collecting protection fees!"

"Classmate Di Lin, you're bullying new students again! It seems I have to get serious with you!" Zichuan Xiu said indignantly, "Everyone, don't be afraid. If Di Lin dares to bully you again, report him to the academic affairs office, and I'll skin him! Remember, you must report him!" — As he spoke, Zichuan Xiu pulled Sterling along and left quickly!

Di Lin looked at the disappointed officer cadets and chuckled, "Let me tell you a secret: my skin has been peeled by Teacher Xiu no less than a hundred times! — Alright, enough nonsense, now is the time to show your patriotic fervor with practical actions! I hate those who are unpatriotic the most!"

***

In the peach grove behind the campus, Di Lin found Zichuan Xiu and Sterling and gave them each an ice cream.

Zichuan Xiu said unhappily, "Is that all?"

Di Lin: "There's nothing I can do, the economy is bad, and even being a thug isn't working. I couldn't collect the protection fees."

Sterling, eating quickly, mumbled indistinctly, "I don't think this is very good, bullying juniors is wrong..."

Di Lin shot him a look, "If you don't think it's good, you don't have to eat it—You're always the one who eats the fastest!"

Sterling immediately shut his mouth and quickly finished the rest of his meal.

***

The Jintai Restaurant was the most upscale (and most rip-off) restaurant near the Far East Military Academy. Sterling and Di Lin swaggered in ahead, ordering, "Today, we're going to pluck a plucked goose! Bring out your best dishes!"

Zichuan Xiu followed behind with a troubled expression, his face clearly bearing the four characters for "deeply wronged and bitter," looking like a representative of a people oppressed for three thousand years.

The three of them ate until they were full and satisfied.

Di Lin patted his belly and smiled contentedly, "It's been a long time since I felt this good! I feel a great sense of accomplishment when I eat Xiu's food, and it tastes especially delicious!"

Zichuan Xiu put his hands in his pockets and then took them out again, his face showing an unutterable expression as he asked Di Lin, "Excuse me, Rogue Di Lin, how many ways are there to eat a meal without paying?"

Di Lin thought for a moment and replied, "Method one: The cockroach and fly method; Method two: The oily soles method; Method three: The food poisoning method; Method four: The ferocious beast method—but why are you asking? Don't tell me you forgot your wallet?"

"Who said I forgot it? But there's something else in my pocket besides my wallet..." Zichuan Xiu turned his pants pocket inside out, revealing a large hole—just big enough for a wallet to fall through.

Sterling exclaimed in surprise, "Didn't your wallet fall out last time when you paid? Your wallet really is inexhaustible—and it always falls out at just the right moment!"

Zichuan Xiu retorted, "How is that the same? Last time it was an act, but this time it really fell out!"

The three exchanged a glance and said in unison, "Method four!"

Di Lin stood up and strode away, knocking over a plate of sweet and sour fish and then smashing a wine bottle. "Is this for people to eat or for pigs! I've never eaten such terrible food! Bring me the chef!"

Zichuan Xiu, clutching his stomach, cried out in pain from the side, "Ah, my food poisoning is acting up!"

Sterling casually stepped aside to avoid being hit by the shattered glass.

The waiter quickly came over, looking like he understood what was going on, "Understood, understood! Please calm down, sirs. If there's anything you're not satisfied with, the chef will be here shortly to apologize."

At this very moment, the greatest turning point in the fate of the Three Heroes of Zichuan occurred.

***

September 16, 779. Di Lin's Residence.

Chief Inspector Di Lin smiled and said, "I still remember when Lin Xiujia came out wearing a chef's apron, you were so stunned your mouth was watering more than when you ate sweet and sour fish."

Zichuan Xiu protested, "I definitely wasn't the one whose mouth was watering the most then! You weren't much better; after just smashing someone's plate, you immediately put on a gentle act: 'Miss, did you cook this dish? The flavor is truly extraordinary! It's beyond words! Miss, I want to eat your cooking for the rest of my life, will you agree?'—You said that right after meeting her, you really take mushiness as fun!"

Di Lin burst out laughing, "What do you know! Girls love mushiness, the mushier the better! The most detestable was Sterling, who betrayed us on the spot: 'Miss, let me tell you, neither of them are good people, they wanted to eat and run! Only I am a good person!'—He made us so angry!"

Zichuan Xiu couldn't help but smile, "Yeah, we almost had the first Zichuan Family Fighting Competition that night."

***

The night was already deep, and Zichuan Xiu bid farewell. As he was leaving, Di Lin said to him meaningfully, "Ah Xiu, I know you're about to head to the Far East. You should have a good idea of what kind of troops your 'Xiu Battalion' is, so I won't say anything. You need to have a clear understanding of the current situation in the Far East: we might win one battle, two, three, or even a hundred battles, but we cannot win this war, no matter how many troops we add. This is because we lack a decisive factor that can turn the tide, and this factor cannot be obtained from the battlefield. I told Sterling this too, but seeing his impulsive nature now, he clearly hasn't listened. He's trying to defy fate with human effort."

Zichuan Xiu asked, "Then what do you think is the factor that can decide the outcome of the battle?"

Di Lin shook his head, "I don't know. Do you want to hear my advice?"

"Go ahead."

"Absolutely do not leave a three-day horse ride from Gollum Fortress, and be prepared for any unforeseen circumstances at all times." Di Lin's expression was solemn.

***

Walking on the road home, Zichuan Xiu slowly savored Di Lin's final words, finding them more profound the more he thought about them.

Looking back, Di Lin's residence, which had been brightly lit, was now shrouded in deep darkness, making it impossible to see through...

***

Two days later, something happened that puzzled everyone in the Imperial Capital: Chief Inspector Di Lin suddenly acted out of character, actively pushing the case of dereliction of duty against the former Deputy Commander of the Far East Army, Luobo. He adopted a stance of strict prosecution, sternly spreading rumors, "This time, I must have some heads from the Commanders' Office to let Luobo Minghai know how powerful I, Di Lin, am!" He even declared that in the Military Court, he would personally serve as the prosecutor, "Let's see who dares to protect Luobo!"

The news quickly reached the ears of President Commander Luobo Minghai. After considering for only a few minutes, he immediately changed his position and vigorously defended Luobo, even offering to serve as Luobo's defense counsel in the Military Court presided over by Commander-in-Chief Zichuan Canxing.

The Military Court convened as scheduled. The session almost turned into a solo performance by President Commander Luobo Minghai. He spoke eloquently, each word landing with powerful conviction, "The defeat at Chishuitan was still due to irresistible human factors! Despite the defeat, he was still able to protect Gollum Fortress, Deputy Commander Luobo did not lose his demeanor as a renowned general, he deserves merit, not blame! If the family does not reward its meritorious officials even slightly but instead binds them with chains, how can the millions of soldiers on the front lines not be disheartened!?"—He earned enthusiastic applause from the Far East Army officers like Lin Bing, who were observing in the hall. This made Luobo Minghai even more proud as he looked around.

In contrast, Di Lin's performance was a great disappointment to everyone, including Zichuan Canxing. His words were incoherent and stammering, his arguments contradictory, and he hadn't even clarified in the indictment whether Luobo was guilty of dereliction of duty or improper command. He was thoroughly refuted by Luobo Minghai on the spot, leaving him utterly defeated.

As a result, when Zichuan Canxing declared Luobo not guilty, Di Lin looked like a defeated rooster, dejected and seemingly unable to stand.

Luobo Minghai glanced at Di Lin dismissively, then proudly accepted the congratulations from his subordinates, who hailed him for "defeating that detestable Di Lin again!" He was so pleased that he ate an extra bowl of rice that night and even broke his rule by drinking alcohol.