I'm in Warhammer, Please Stop Praising the Dora-Machine God!
Chapter 3

Terra, You Have No Water; Emperor, You Have Six Legs

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"You see? This is danger," the winged figure in the white light said gloomily.

The good news was that the man in black before him believed in the Emperor, even more sincerely than Zhou Yun did.

The bad news was that the Emperor they believed in had four arms.

They were Xeno-traitors, Chicken Thieves, the Genestealer Cult, the vanguard of the Hive Fleet.

Purestrain Genestealers from the Tyranid Fleet infiltrated hive cities, using their warped genes from the Tyranid Swarm to infect and control Imperial citizens, breeding an entire brood.

They lay dormant in the darkness of the hive cities for generation after generation, even developing their own social structures and religious beliefs.

Only when the Day of Ascension they chanted about arrived, when the Hive Fleet descended into orbit, would they pour from the shadows and stir the entire planet into chaos, making it convenient for The Great Devourer to devour the whole world alive.

These Chicken Thieves also often gathered around strange religious beliefs.

Such as an Emperor with four arms, Sanguinius with six eyes, and Guilliman with twelve legs.

"Your level of heresy is about on par with theirs," the winged figure in the white light remarked.

"Shut up, birdman! My loyalty to the Emperor is witnessed by Luna and Terra alike."

Zhou Yun cautiously glanced at the Chicken Thief cultists holding their prayer meeting and felt there was really no need to disturb such devout believers.

He carefully shuffled his feet, trying to slip away quietly.

Like most people on planet Asphodel, Tote was a worker in a hive city. Through grueling physical labor, it produced military supplies for the Imperium in exchange for the rations necessary to sustain its life.

On a planet irradiated by a toxic star, where countless mutants hid beneath the ground and in the darkness, and where immense taxes had to be paid to the Imperium, life was never particularly pleasant.

Endless labor, death close at hand, threats in the dark, exploitation by gangs, shortages of supplies.

Before such things, only faith could keep one's mind from collapsing.

Tote was a devout believer in the Emperor. It believed in the great and benevolent Emperor, and through the patriarch's blessing, it had been able to truly sense the Emperor's presence.

The Emperor with four powerful arms, embracing all humanity among the stars.

It often heard the Emperor's whispering voice by its ear.

It answered the Emperor's guidance with devout prayers, praying for the Emperor's embrace to descend upon the crimson evil soil of Asphodel.

Today, it had brought several inexperienced newcomers through a passage known only within the cult, arriving in this secret abandoned district.

It was going to preach the benevolence and nobility of the Four-Armed Emperor to them, so they could pray alongside it. Pray for the Four-Armed Emperor to embrace this planet soon.

"The God-Emperor was born with four arms, so He could embrace the vast and boundless galaxy, embrace every one of His subjects."

"The Emperor's embrace will surely come. When it does, it will be the great Day of Ascension when we escape this sea of suffering. We shall rise beside the Emperor's throne and be with God."

Tote preached fervently, spreading its arms and revealing long, mutated fingers with clearly defined joints.

They were proof of the Emperor's gift to it, one of the marks it was proudest of—

"Lord Bishop." A newcomer timidly raised his hand among the rubble.

Tote ignored him. A devout prayer to the Four-Armed Emperor should not be interrupted.

"Praise the Four-Armed Emperor, praise His generosity and benevolence. He shall lead us from this sea of suffering, cast aside the stars, and take us straight into the realm of the divine."

"Lord Bishop, look behind you," another newcomer said somewhat frantically.

Tote frowned.

"Do not interrupt me!" it said with some irritation.

"No, Lord Bishop, look behind you!"

The newcomers before it were all pointing behind it in alarm.

Behind it? What could possibly be behind it? Wasn't there just a huge promethium tank behind it?

Tote turned around in confusion.

It saw only a man dressed in the common clothes of a hive worker, sneaking away with furtive steps.

Tote froze for a moment. Where had the huge iron tank behind it gone? Where had such a large tank gone?

And who was this man? How had he entered this abandoned district?

Tote's gaze met the man's, and the atmosphere became awkward for a moment.

An awkward smile appeared at the corner of the man's mouth. He spread his hands in a helpless gesture.

"Morning. Have you eaten yet?"

"..."

Tote made a gesture behind its back. Two cultists quietly reached into their black robes and drew the autopistols strapped to their waists.

"Who are you?" Tote asked in a low voice.

"Actually, I'm also a devout follower of the Emperor. It's just that the Emperor I believe in has six legs."

Hearing the man's words, Tote paused slightly.

An Emperor with six legs? What kind of heresy was that?!

The Emperor clearly had two legs and four arms! Six legs were plainly the form of an alien!

Before Tote could react, it saw the man's ten outstretched fingers pointing at it.

"Bang! Bang! Bang!!"

The man made three "bang" sounds with his mouth, and blasts of air shot from the fingers he pointed at Tote.

Tote felt a shockwave explode against its chest. A thunderous sound rang out, and the thin chitinous shell covering its chest cracked sharply.

It toppled to the ground, crashing heavily amid the rubble.

Several cultists behind it were also blasted away. Their autopistols fell from their hands, and they tilted their heads before passing out.

"A psyker? Someone from the Ark Gang?" Tote clutched its chest and forced itself up from the ground through the pain.

It had received the Four-Armed Emperor's blessing. It had mutated further, and its body was sturdier as well.

Tote reached out and tore away the black robe shattered by the shockwave, revealing purplish gelatinous skin.

A pair of deformed arms curled between its ribs unfolded, and all four arms aimed at the man before it.

"Die!!!"

It roared and pounced at the man like an oversized hormagaunt.

But the man suddenly lifted his shirt and reached into a white pocket on his belly.

Then Tote saw the man pull a gigantic promethium tank seven or eight meters tall from that palm-sized pocket.

So that was where the tank was—Tote realized in midair.

Then it watched the massive ceramite tank come smashing down at it head-on.

Bang—

Zhou Yun reached out and stuffed the promethium tank back into his pocket.

A body altered by Tyranid genes still could not withstand ceramite's crushing force. That hybrid cultist was smashed into a bug pancake.

"Fuck, that mutant Rager sold me the location of this shithole?"

Zhou Yun could not help cursing the gang member who had sold him the location of this abandoned district and screwed him over.

This abandoned district had probably been a place where the Chicken Thieves operated for a long time.

"They have clearly infiltrated Asphodel long ago, my friend."

The winged figure in the white light appeared again:

"The shadow of the swarm has already wrapped itself around this planet. Its tendrils are waiting to lick up every drop of biomass upon it."

End of Chapter
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