I Came to Blow Up the School, and the Headmaster Doesn't Know

"Yo, gotten this pathetic after not seeing me for a while?" Following Hagrid down the muddy path, Horatio and Hannah ran into Hermione and Neville again.

"Shut up, Horatio. Watch where you're going. Aren't you afraid of falling?"

Horatio ignored Hermione. After refusing Neville's attempt to return the golden toad and silver toad, he patted Neville on the shoulder. "Neville, this stuff is nothing to Wizards. Study magic well, and someday come to Gringotts with me. We'll make it big, grow stronger, and create new glory."

"But everyone says I'm stupid. I'm afraid I won't be able to learn magic properly." Neville ultimately accepted the two toads.

"That's easy. Watch closely." Horatio took out the magic wand with dual-material cores that he had named Kei, while also soothing the other magic wand he had named Li.

"Lumos Solem (Lumos)!"

A massive beam of white light illuminated the entire night sky like the first rays of dawn.

"Ahhh! My eyes!"

"Who cast that flash?"

The young Wizards were blinded by the spell and only recovered after quite some time.

Ignoring the resentful stares around him, as well as Hermione and Hannah's little fists, Horatio continued, "You only need to master this spell, then do one hundred push-ups, one hundred sit-ups, one hundred squats, and a ten-kilometer run every day. That way, you'll go bald... no, become strong.

"When you encounter an enemy, just stun them with the Lumos Charm, then rush in and punch their damn head apart.

"Then you'll be able to punch Old Deng in the face, stomp that noseless socket demon underfoot, and become the Fist Saint of Hogwarts. Even if Gryffindor came back to life, he'd have to say, 'You're the true Gryffindor.'"

"..."

After crossing the muddy path, the young Wizards arrived at a dock, where several small boats floated on the water.

Horatio wore the expression of an old man staring at the subway. Such a tiny boat did not suit his temperament at all.

"Each boat can only carry four young Wizards."

Horatio held back Neville, Hermione, and Hannah. "Let the others board first."

After the other young Wizards had boarded, Horatio walked up to a small boat and pointed Kei at it. As magic enveloped the boat, it transformed into a massive two-masted sailing ship. The waves it kicked up sent the other boats rocking wildly across the lake, and the young Wizards aboard them screamed in alarm.

As Neville and the others stared in stunned disbelief, Horatio grabbed Neville and transformed both of their school uniforms into pirate outfits. "Ladies, welcome aboard the Flying Black Diamond. I'm Captain Horatio, and this is First Mate Neville. Now, let's set sail for Hogwarts."

Hermione and the others followed Horatio aboard in a daze.

Captain Horatio went to the bow and tossed down a speaker. As the music of He's a Pirate began to play, the great ship slowly started moving.

"Ahhh! Help!"

Hermione asked doubtfully, "Did we hit something?"

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"It's fine. Just a speed bump."

After passing through a bank of fog, a magnificent castle appeared before them.

A witch in green robes stood anxiously waiting at the dock.

When the ship arrived, Horatio led the other three ashore. The green-robed witch shot Horatio a vicious glare and said to Hagrid, "Take them to the main entrance first. I'm going to save people."

Horatio merely shrugged, looking completely unconcerned. If going to school wasn't for showing off, then wouldn't I have wasted all those talent points on Transfiguration?

"Harry!" Hermione spotted a boy with round glasses and pulled Horatio over. "Harry, this is Horatio, an attention-seeking show-off.

"This is Harry, the legendary Boy Who Lived."

"Hello, I'm Horatio. In the martial world, they call me Overlord. You can call me Daddy too." Horatio held out his hand.

"Hello, Horatio." Harry Potter hesitated, but ultimately did not call him that. He reached out and shook Horatio's hand.

Thanks to Alchemy and the notes from that Dimensional God, Horatio had a profound understanding of souls. He sensed two souls within Harry: one warm like the sun, the other dark like a sewer rat.

Horatio thought for a moment. Could this be the legendary guardian spirit? "You must be really good at card games."

"???"

After waiting for a while, Professor McGonagall led several students into the group. Their clothes were clean, but their hair was soaking wet.

"Welcome to Hogwarts. Shortly, you will pass through these doors and join your fellow students. Before that, however, there will be a Sorting Ceremony to determine which House you will enter. The four Houses are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. During your time at Hogwarts, excellent conduct will earn points for your House, while any rule-breaking will cost your House points. At the end of the year, the House with the highest score will receive the House Cup."

"The Sorting Ceremony will begin in a few minutes. While you wait, I suggest you tidy your appearance. And certain individuals, keep yourselves under control. If you cause any more trouble, I will give you detention." After saying that, Professor McGonagall glared fiercely at Horatio before turning and entering the hall.

Neville came over to their little group, holding Trevor. "I heard from my grandmother that the Sorting Ceremony involves fighting a dark wizard. Winners go to Gryffindor, while losers enter Slytherin and become dark wizards."

Ron said with some worry, "I heard from my brothers that we have to fight a troll. If we lose, we'll be expelled immediately."

Hermione's face went deathly pale at that.

Horatio comforted Hermione. "Don't listen to their nonsense. I'm pretty familiar with Old Deng. He got something from my teacher, probably for the Sorting Ceremony. I'm guessing we'll fight an Alchemical Golem. That thing's nothing special—I used to use it as a punching bag all the time before school started."

The young Wizards around them looked at Horatio resentfully, unable to stop themselves from lamenting how unfair the world was.

"Sigh!" Horatio sighed and pulled a warhead marked with a black three-leaf clover on a yellow background from the cloth bag at his waist, stuffing it into Hermione's arms. "What am I going to do with you? Take this. When it's time for Sorting, just blow it up with this."

Hermione looked at the familiar symbol on the warhead in her arms and was so frightened she nearly threw it away. Fortunately, she came to her senses in time and did not toss it out, or the entrance to Hogwarts would have been full of familiar faces today.

Still shaken, Hermione returned the warhead to Horatio. Harry's face had also gone pale with fright. "Horatio, how did you bring something so dangerous to school?"

With a completely unconcerned expression, Horatio sang, "I came to blow up the school, and the headmaster doesn't know. I pull the cord, then I run—boom, and the school is gone."