I Signed In for a Hundred Million Years in the Primordial Era, Now I'm Back to Be a Modern-Day Slacker
Chapter 29

The Failed Taste Buds and the Failed Common Sense

1,769 words•6 min read•2 views
18d ago•

"Crack... crack..."

The crisp sound, like chewing ten-thousand-year-old ice or gnawing on weathered rock, echoed steadily through the silent living room.

Ling Ye had his eyes closed, his face filled with satisfaction as he gnawed on the gray, mold-speckled "old dough fossil" he had pulled from the ragged cloth bag. Every bite was extraordinarily earnest, as if he were savoring some supreme delicacy. Every now and then, he smacked his lips and muttered, "Authentic flavor."

Su Wanqing stood frozen in place, still clutching the empty ice cream container she had licked clean enough to reflect a person's face. She stared blankly at the big shot chewing "stone" on the sofa, feeling as if her taste buds and common sense were undergoing a brutally inhumane execution.

Could that thing... really be eaten?!

Wouldn't it crack his teeth?!

Those mold spots looked incredibly poisonous!

Yet Ling Ye not only ate it, he ate it with relish. She could even vaguely see that the aura around him had grown a little denser and more restrained after those few bites of "old dough." Could this thing really be some kind of supreme tonic?

Compared with the pathetic spectacle of her licking the container just now, Su Wanqing felt a dimensional gap unlike anything she had ever experienced. A big shot's diet truly wasn't something an ordinary person could understand.

The sound of "crack" finally stopped. Ling Ye tossed the last crumbs of "old dough" into his mouth, then licked his fingers with lingering satisfaction. The contentment on his face nearly overflowed. He turned over and hugged his arms, seeming ready to continue his nap, completely oblivious to the female CEO in the corner whose worldview had shattered all over again.

However, his stomach seemed unwilling to let things end there.

"Grrrrrrr—"

Another rumble, longer and clearer than before, came from his abdomen like muffled thunder. It was even louder than the last one! It was as if those few bites of "old dough" had not only failed to fill his stomach but had instead stirred up some prehistoric-level hunger!

Ling Ye's brows knitted tightly again, and his face filled with obvious displeasure and irritation. He even unconsciously rubbed his stomach, an unhappy grumble rumbling from his throat.

"Hungry..."

A clear word, thick with complaint, escaped his lips.

Su Wanqing's heart leaped into her throat! The big shot was awake?! Had hunger woken him?! This was definitely not a good sign!

She instinctively drew herself inward, doing her best to minimize her presence, afraid she would become a sacrifice to the big shot's hungry fury.

Ling Ye's eyes remained closed, but the irritation on his face grew more and more obvious. He seemed to be instinctively resisting waking up, yet he could not ignore the surging hunger. He twisted around restlessly on the sofa several times, like a child who had been woken by hunger and was throwing a tantrum.

Then, under Su Wanqing's terrified gaze, Ling Ye, still with his eyes closed, began rummaging through that tattered cloth bag more forcefully and impatiently... with increasing frustration!

His movements grew wider, carrying the anxiousness of someone wondering, "Why can't I find anything to eat?"

The cloth bag rattled under his hands. Something heavy inside seemed to collide with something else, producing dull thuds.

Su Wanqing was scared out of her wits! She was terrified that the big shot would pull out the "Buzhou Mountain rolling pin" and gnaw on it like sugarcane, or chew the "Chaos Green Lotus Basin" like a cookie!

"Something to eat... something to eat..." Ling Ye muttered unconsciously with his eyes closed and his brows tightly furrowed. His rummaging grew faster and more violent.

Suddenly, his searching hand came to an abrupt halt!

It seemed he had touched something... long, hard, and rod-shaped?

Su Wanqing's heart sank straight to the bottom! It was over! It was the rolling pin! He was going to gnaw on the rolling pin!

Ling Ye, however, wore a puzzled expression. He pinched the long, rod-shaped object, seemingly sensing that the texture was wrong. It wasn't the "snack" he wanted.

Extremely impatient and still gripped by morning irritability, he kept his eyes closed and casually tossed the long, hard object he had pulled out toward the empty carpet beside him!

"Puff."

A soft, muffled sound.

The object landed on the carpet, rolled twice, and came to a stop.

Su Wanqing's gaze instinctively followed the thing that had been thrown out—

It was not the "Buzhou Mountain rolling pin" she had imagined.

It was a token... about the size of a palm, its entire body a warm, restrained purple-gold. Its surface was covered in naturally formed, profound patterns that flowed like a nebula... a token?

The token had an ancient, simple shape. It was neither metal nor jade, and it radiated an extremely ancient and imposing aura, as if it carried some supreme law! Merely looking at it made one's soul tremble and instinctively want to prostrate oneself in worship!

What was this thing?! Su Wanqing was completely dumbfounded. Just how many strange objects were there in this cloth bag?!

Ling Ye seemed completely unconcerned with what he had thrown out. He continued rummaging through the cloth bag irritably, muttering nonstop, "Hungry... something to eat..."

He felt around a few more times, seemingly finally touching what he wanted. The irritation on his face eased slightly, and he pulled another lump from the bag... something equally gray and dingy, but a little rounder in shape... "Old Dough Ball, Generation Two"?

He gave a satisfied "Mm," then began gnawing on it with another series of "crack, crack" sounds, temporarily easing the irritation of his hunger.

Su Wanqing, however, could not take her eyes off the purple-gold token on the carpet.

The token lay there quietly, radiating an invisible majesty and temptation. The power within her, nourished by Chaos Origin Qi, seemed to resonate faintly with the token's aura... and even feel a trace of yearning?

An absurd thought emerged uncontrollably—the token... looked incredibly powerful... Could she... use it to order takeout?!

The moment the thought appeared, even she felt it was absurdly ridiculous! Order takeout? With a token that looked like a Primordial Supreme Treasure?! That was even more ridiculous than using a washbasin to fight hackers!

But... what if?

The big shot's possessions could not be judged by common sense. That basin could water flowers, wash feet, and refine data. Perhaps this token could really communicate across realms?

Extreme hunger and a desperate predicament once again gave her the courage to smash the jar and give up all restraint.

She cautiously stole a glance at the big shot on the sofa, who was focused on gnawing "stone." Seeing that he seemed temporarily lost in his own world, she gritted her teeth and crawled over like a little mouse stealing oil. Trembling, she reached out and swiftly picked up the purple-gold token, clutching it tightly in her palm.

The token felt warm and smooth in her hand. It was not cold; instead, it carried a strange warmth, as if it were a living thing. The nebula patterns on its surface seemed to glow faintly the instant they touched her palm.

Su Wanqing's heart pounded wildly, caught between fear and anticipation. She imitated the ritual gestures of the Taoist priests she had seen on television, gripped the token tightly in both hands, closed her eyes, concentrated all her focus, and frantically repeated in her mind:

"Takeout! I want takeout! Braised beef noodles! Add an egg! Extra meat! Milk tea! Pearl milk tea! Full sugar! Iced! Bring it quickly! The address is Yunqi Mountain Half-Mountain Villa District, No. xxx! Hurry!"

She called out in her mind for every food she could think of that might arrive the fastest. Her mental focus was intense, and fine beads of sweat even appeared on her forehead.

However—

Ten seconds passed.

Dozens of seconds passed.

The token in her hand remained completely unresponsive. There was no light, no fluctuation, no suddenly opening spatial passage, and certainly no deliveryman in a yellow uniform descending from the heavens.

The living room held only the crackling sounds of Ling Ye gnawing on "old dough" and the increasingly loud pounding of her own heart.

It had failed...

As expected, it still didn't work?

Su Wanqing opened her eyes in despair and looked at the unchanged token in her hand. A huge sense of disappointment washed over her. She really must have been starving herself silly to come up with such an unrealistic fantasy...

Just as she prepared to secretly return the "useless" token to its original place—

A sudden change occurred!

The purple-gold token in her hand suddenly... trembled violently without warning!

Immediately afterward, the nebula-like, profound patterns on the token's surface blazed with dazzling purple-gold light! An indescribable, terrifying pressure, as if the supreme laws themselves had been disturbed, erupted with a boom!

"Bzzzt—!!!"

A majestic, mighty hum that seemed to come from the Ninth Heaven suddenly exploded from the token!

The space throughout the entire villa violently shook along with it! Dust pattered down from the ceiling!

A purple-gold phantom pillar of light, composed entirely of countless tiny runes, shot skyward from the top of the token. It pierced through the villa's ceiling and the clouds in an instant, as if connecting to some unknowable supreme dimension!

The sudden terrifying phenomenon scared Su Wanqing out of her wits, and she nearly dropped the token.

On the sofa, Ling Ye's movements abruptly stopped as he gnawed on the "old dough"!

He suddenly opened his eyes!

In those deep eyes, as unfathomable as an abyss of stars, the purple-gold pillar of light soaring into the sky was reflected clearly for the first time, along with countless flowing Law Runes within it, representing "summoning," "response," and "judgment"!

His face revealed an extremely rare expression—a mixture of astonishment, confusion, and a trace of... helpless amusement?!

"Hongmeng Summoning Token?" He looked at the token in Su Wanqing's hand as it unleashed earth-shaking radiance, as if he had witnessed something utterly preposterous. He subconsciously muttered, "This thing... is that how it's used?!"

The moment Ling Ye's words fell—

Deep within the unknowable dimension connected to the top of the soaring purple-gold pillar of light, it seemed that some incredibly terrifying and ancient will, born in accordance with the supreme laws, had been startled by this "incorrect" summoning. Slowly... it cast down a trace of... "attention"!

An indescribable, terrifying pressure, powerful enough to extinguish the galaxies and make all creation bow its head, descended thunderously along the pillar of light like a tangible force!

End of Chapter
Prev
NovelSummaries
Next
How was this translation?

Explore the wiki