Ineffective Quick-Wittedness and Ineffective Paternalism

The world-ending cold current poured down like the Milky Way falling from the heavens, carrying the ultimate killing intent of a furious mother, instantly overwhelming Ling Ye's senses. Time seemed to freeze, his thoughts solidified, and the icy tendrils of death already coiled around his soul.

Is this it? Am I going to die?

Just because of a silly bellyband and an unreliable Forget Worry Grass?

After billions of years of signing in, surviving countless calamities, I'm going to fall for something this ridiculous?!

Unwilling! Absolutely unwilling!

Under the absolute pressure of life and death, Ling Ye's nerves, honed to near numbness by the primordial ages, suddenly erupted with unprecedented quick-wittedness!

Can't admit it! Absolutely cannot admit I lost the child and found a fake!

Must muddy the waters! Must divert the disaster! Must... find a bigger target to draw fire!

In a flash of lightning, Ling Ye's gaze swept over Su Wanqing, who had just woken up on the ground, looking bewildered and trembling in fear. Then, his eyes flickered to the wailing infant in the next room, and finally settled on the radiant, vibrating, and intensely jealous bellyband in his arms!

An idea, absurd to the extreme, yet possibly his only path to survival, flashed through his despairing mind like lightning splitting the darkness!

Got it!

Just one instant before the destructive cold current turned him and the entire hotel into ice shards—

Ling Ye suddenly raised his head and, with all his primordial strength, let out a roar not of pleading, but of immense "grievance" and "fury" towards the descending cold current!

"Madam, please see clearly! It's not my fault! It's... it's the child's father!!!"

This earth-shattering "child's father" acted like a pause button for time and space.

The surging, river-of-stars-freezing world-ending cold current, a nanosecond before touching Ling Ye's nose, abruptly... stopped!

The boiling killing intent from the other side of the rift choked as if its neck had been grabbed.

It was as if even the furious Madam was stunned by this completely unexpected accusation.

The child's father?

What does the child's father have to do with this?!

Ling Ye seized this precious, possibly only, moment of respite. His words tumbled out faster than a collapsing galaxy, his voice filled with emotion, his acting skills instantly breaking through the heavens. He spoke with the righteous indignation of someone deeply hurt by a "faithless man":

"It's that scoundrel! Madam! You were in seclusion all these years, and he... he couldn't stand the loneliness! He... he found someone else outside!!" (He gestured towards the crying real infant in the next room, then towards the terrified Su Wanqing on the ground, and began improvising wildly.)

"Look! This is the bastard he had outside! (Pointing at the real infant) And this! This is the woman! (Pointing at Su Wanqing) She's the one who seduced the child's father! She even tried to kill our Ye'er! She wanted her bastard to take his place! To monopolize the family fortune! Her intentions are heinous, Madam!"

"To protect Ye'er, I had to take him and hide everywhere, living incognito, not even daring to let Ye'er reveal the slightest trace of his presence, for fear of being found and harmed by this pair of dogs! That's why Ye'er's aura is weak and his bloodline is not obvious! (Forcibly explaining why the bellyband child seemed 'vague')"

"I've endured humiliation for billions of years, was it easy for me?! I finally managed to shake them off temporarily today and wanted to let the child catch his breath, but... but they still found us! And they scared Ye'er! (Pointing at the crying next door) Madam! You must uphold justice for us mother and son!!!"

Ling Ye spoke with tears streaming down his face (forced out), beating his chest and stamping his feet, portraying the image of a "tragic mother" deeply "betrayed by her husband," "persecuted by a mistress," and "enduring humiliation for her child" to perfection!

He even secretly activated his Chaos Origin Qi, forcing out two streams of golden "blood tears" that slid down from the corners of his eyes to add to the conviction!

The room fell into dead silence.

Only the baby's loud cries from next door and Su Wanqing's stunned gasps served as background noise.

The terrifying killing intent from the other side of the rift... disappeared.

In its place was an... extremely strange... silence.

It was as if Madam was processing the information-heavy, melodramatic accusation.

After several seconds.

The cold voice spoke again, its tone becoming extremely... peculiar? Carrying a hint of disbelief and... a trace of shifted attention, fueled by a burning... desire for gossip?

"...Hongjun... found someone else... outside?"

"And... had a... bastard?"

"And wants to... kill my Ye'er?"

Hongjun?!

The child's father is the Dao Ancestor Hongjun?!

Ling Ye almost spat out a mouthful of blood! He just casually threw the blame, and it landed on the pinnacle of the primordial world! This misunderstanding was too huge!

But the show had begun, and he couldn't stop! He could only grit his teeth and continue with feigned indignation: "Not the Dao Ancestor! It's... it's another one! (He quickly tried to obscure the details) Anyway! Madam! The child's father is a scumbag! You must uphold justice for us!"

Another silence followed.

Then, the voice spoke again, still cold, but inexplicably carrying a sense of... "So that's how it is" and "anger redirected":

"No wonder..."

"No wonder Ye'er's aura is so strange... He must have been frightened and persecuted!"

"No wonder you've been hiding... you were afraid of revealing your whereabouts!"

"That... scoundrel... where is he?!"

The last sentence was filled with gritted-teeth fury, ready to settle the score with the "scumbag husband"!

Ling Ye's heart soared with joy! Success! The heat had been successfully diverted!

He quickly struck while the iron was hot, adding fuel to the fire: "He... he sensed you might awaken and got scared, hiding away! But I guess... he's still thinking about that bastard and his mistress! (Pointing at the next room again) Madam! Why don't we clean house first! Capture this mother and son, and the unfaithful man won't dare to show himself!"

Divert the disaster eastward! It's better to die poor than for a fellow Daoist to die! I'm sorry, kid next door, and your mom! And Su Wanqing! Gotta save the immediate crisis first!

Just as Ling Ye thought his plan was perfect and prepared to direct the Madam's rage to annihilate the room next door—

An unforeseen event occurred!

The bellyband in his arms, upon hearing the word "Daddy," and sensing Ling Ye's "hostility" towards the child next door, actually... vibrated violently again!

An even vaster, more complex emotional will erupted!

Within that will, there was curiosity and longing for the title "Daddy," confusion and dissatisfaction with Ling Ye "attacking" another child, and even a trace of... a strange impulse to approach the crying sound next door?

As if the crying of the other infant held some natural attraction for it?

"Buzz..." The bellyband emitted chaotic light.

Ling Ye: "???"

Why isn't this damn bellyband following the script?! Whose side is it on?!

The Madam on the other side of the rift seemed to have also noticed the abnormal fluctuations of the bellyband. The rage that was about to pounce on the next room paused slightly, with a hint of confusion: "Ye'er... he?"

Ling Ye's scalp tingled. He quickly suppressed the bellyband's fluctuations and frantically concocted a lie: "Ye'er is angry! He's hateful! Hateful that his father is so heartless, hateful that that bastard stole the fatherly love that rightfully belonged to him! Madam! Please act quickly! Lest complications arise!"

However, it was already too late.

The Madam's attention seemed to have been completely captured by the complex and chaotic fluctuations of the bellyband and the loud crying of the child next door.

She didn't act immediately. Instead... she fell into another, even stranger... silence.

As if... carefully "savoring" and "comparing" something.

A few minutes later.

That cold voice sounded again, its tone becoming even more peculiar, even carrying a hint of... imperceptible... disappointment and disdain?

"The crying... is indeed loud..."

"His breath... is also strong..."

"A bit fatter than Ye'er..."

Ling Ye: "???" Why does this tone feel a bit off? Shouldn't it be anger and disgust? What's with this faint envy and disdain?!

Before he could figure it out, the voice suddenly changed tack, carrying an irrefutable command:

"You..."

"Go..."

"And bring that... bastard..."

"Over here..."

"Let... me... see."

Ling Ye: "!!!!!!"

Bring him over?!

Bring the real infant over for this harbinger of doom to "see"?!

See what?! Compare whose baby is fatter?! And then what?! Crush him?!

Ling Ye was terrified out of his wits. Just as he was about to make an excuse to refuse—

"Hurry!" The cold command, with its undeniable will, whipped at his soul like a lash.

Ling Ye trembled all over, knowing there was no room for maneuver left.

His face was ashen. Like a walking corpse, step by step, he shuffled towards the room next door.

Each step felt like treading on knife blades.

He pushed open the door to the adjacent room, looking at the infant whose little face was red from crying and whose limbs were flailing, then at the young mother still asleep by the bedside (under the combined effects of Forget Worry Grass and murderous intent). A deep sense of guilt filled his heart.

What a sin...

He reached out with a trembling hand, extremely slowly, as if touching a bomb, and picked up the soft, warm infant, who was crying so hard his whole body felt hot...

The infant felt heavy in his arms. The crying made his eardrums buzz. Warm tears splashed all over him.

Ling Ye carried this hot potato, shuffling back to his room step by step, feeling as if he wasn't holding a child, but his own death sentence.

He stood stiffly in the center of the room, turning the infant towards the direction of the invisible rift.

The will behind the rift slowly "swept" over the child.

Silence.

Suffocating silence.

After a long while.

The cold voice sounded again, the disappointment and disdain in its tone even more apparent:

"Talent... mediocre."

"Spiritual light... dim."

"Bloodline... mortal."

"Crying... so noisy."

"Useless... except for being fat."

Ling Ye: "..." Are you critiquing the dishes?!

"As expected... a bastard." The voice reached its final conclusion, carrying a sense of superiority like "Of course, not as good as my son," but the killing intent seemed to dissipate significantly, turning into pure disdain.

"Forget it." The voice seemed to lose interest. "Throw it back. It's an eyesore."

Ling Ye felt as if he had received a great pardon and almost wept with joy! He quickly prepared to send the infant back.

However, the moment he turned around--

That voice suddenly rang out again, carrying a hint of subtle... awkwardness and... a command?

"Wait."

Ling Ye's body stiffened.

"You..."

"Since you've been 'mother' to Ye'er all these years..."

"You've earned some merit."

"So I'll reward you..."

"Temporarily... be 'father' for a few days."

Ling Ye: "???????"

Father?!

Father to whom?!

The one in the bellyband?! Or the one in his arms?!

Before he could recover from this earth-shattering revelation, the voice continued, with a tone of condescension:

"Learn well..."

"How to... feed the baby."

"How to... change diapers."

"How to... lull it to sleep."

"So you don't... later... fail to serve my Ye'er properly."

Ling Ye's brain completely crashed.

Feeding?!

Changing diapers?!

Lulling to sleep?!

Him?! A primordial great being?! Who signed in for eons?! Going back to be a dad?!

This was worse than death!

"M-Madam... I... I can't do this..." Ling Ye tried to struggle.

"Hmph?!" The icy killing intent instantly locked onto him again!

Ling Ye immediately caved: "Yes! Yes! I can do it! I will learn well! I promise to take good care of... of our son until he's plump and fair!"

"Hmph." The voice seemed satisfied, and the killing intent receded.

"Three days..."

"I... will return."

"If Ye'er... feels even the slightest discomfort..."

"If you... don't learn well..."

"You know... the consequences."

As the voice faded, the spatial rift slowly closed, and the terrifying will receded like a tide, disappearing completely.

In the room, only Ling Ye remained, holding a wailing real infant, looking at a bellyband that was still vibrating slightly, seemingly curious about its new title of "father," and Su Wanqing, who had completely lost it on the ground.

And... the final "homework" left by Madam... that plunged him into an icy abyss...

Learn... to feed, change diapers, and lull to sleep...

Ling Ye looked down at the real infant in his arms, crying his heart out, his little face scrunched up, and coincidentally letting out a warm stream of liquid...

His vision went black.

He felt his primordial era career... was utterly... finished.