Ineffective Dignity and Ineffective Diaper

The baby's loud cries in his arms were like demonic music piercing his brain. The warm, wet sensation spread rapidly through his thin clothes, carrying a fresh, undeniable... milky smell?

Ling Ye stiffened and looked down at the rapidly expanding dark stain on his chest, and at the little ball of flesh in his arms, whose face was red from crying with all its might, as if pouring its life into it. His mind ground to an unprecedented halt.

He peed?

On him?

On him, the Primordial Great Expert who could once extinguish stars with a flick of his finger and make the Earth Veins tremble with a stomp?!

An indescribable sense of absurdity and extreme disgust instantly overwhelmed his nerves! He almost reflexively wanted to throw this "source of pollution" away!

However, just as his fingertips were about to exert force, a cold snort erupted from the depths of his soul, instantly freezing his actions like ten thousand years of profound ice!

It was the Madam's warning!

Ling Ye's movements froze mid-air, his face a mixture of pale and green, eventually settling into extreme frustration and despair. He couldn't throw him away! Not only could he not throw him away, but he also had to... "learn how to change diapers"?!

Kill him!

"Waa--!!! Waa--!!!" The baby's cries grew louder, as if protesting the terrible "after-sales service," his little arms and legs kicking incessantly.

Ling Ye fumbled, trying to adjust his grip to move the "biological weapon" further away from him. However, his clumsy movements only made the baby cry harder, and more "warm water stains" soaked his front.

He felt like he was suffocating! This was ten thousand times more humiliating than being surrounded by countless ferocious beasts in the depths of the Chaos Sea back then!

On the ground, Su Wanqing, who had barely recovered from a series of earth-shattering events, stared dumbfounded at the surreal scene before her--

The terrifying Great Expert who could tear space with a wave of his hand and make supreme will retreat with a scold, was now like a clumsy puppet, stiffly holding a crying, squirming baby who was drawing a map on him, his face filled with a profound bewilderment that questioned life and... visible disgust and breakdown.

This scene... was too shocking, so much so that she temporarily forgot her own fear, and even felt a little... like laughing? (But she held it back tightly.)

Ling Ye was driven to distraction by the crying and couldn't stand it anymore. He suddenly looked up, shooting murderous glares at the only mortal on the ground who might be of "use"!

"You!" His voice was somewhat distorted from his extreme restraint. "Come here! Take him away! Clean him up!"

Su Wanqing flinched at his gaze and instinctively wanted to obey. But when she looked at the crying baby and the mess on Ling Ye's chest, a sliver of instinct as a woman (though inexperienced) overcame her fear.

She spoke cautiously, her voice trembling, "Gr-Great Expert... Could you... could you be a little gentler first... He seems... uncomfortable..."

Ling Ye froze and looked down at his own arms, which were a bit stiff from tension. It seemed... he was indeed holding a bit too tightly?

Extremely reluctantly, he tried to loosen his grip slightly.

As expected, the baby's cries lessened slightly, turning into more aggrieved sobs.

Ling Ye: "..."

It... actually worked?

A very strange, subtle feeling, as if he had unlocked a new skill, flashed through his mind, but was quickly drowned out by greater annoyance.

"Stop the nonsense! Hurry up!" he urged impatiently, and like throwing a hot potato, he carefully but with disgust, handed the baby towards Su Wanqing.

Su Wanqing quickly took the child in a fluster. The heavy, soft, and wet feeling in her arms instantly made her nervous, and her movements were not much better than Ling Ye's; she almost dropped him.

Holding the child, she looked at the conspicuous wet stain on Ling Ye's chest, then at the empty room, and asked with a dry mouth, "…Paper… tissues? Or… a clean cloth? And… new diapers?"

Ling Ye's face turned ashen. Tissues? Diapers? His tattered cloth bag contained all sorts of Innate Supreme Treasures, but none of these mortal things!

He scanned the surroundings irritably, his gaze finally landing on... the relatively clean white bedsheet on the bed.

"Use that!" he commanded without hesitation.

Su Wanqing's mouth twitched as she looked at the hotel white bedsheet, but under Ling Ye's murderous gaze, she didn't dare to retort. She struggled to hold the child with one hand (the child was still sobbing) and tried to pull the bedsheet with the other.

Ling Ye watched her clumsy movements, his brows furrowed into a knot. He found it inefficient and the noise was giving him a headache.

Impatiently, he reached out and grabbed the bedsheet in mid-air--

"Riiip--!"

With a sound of tearing fabric, a large piece of the bedsheet was roughly ripped off and thrown to Su Wanqing.

"Hurry!"

Su Wanqing was startled by this violent dismantling and fumbled to take the piece of cloth, starting to attempt to wipe and wrap the baby.

The process was naturally chaotic and unsightly. The baby started crying loudly again due to discomfort, Su Wanqing was sweating profusely with anxiety, and Ling Ye, watching from the side, was furious. Several times he wanted to "help" personally (using Primordial methods), but he was afraid of accidentally crushing the fragile little thing, so he could only pace back and forth in frustration.

Finally, a barely usable (but extremely ugly and loose) "temporary diaper" was created. The baby's cries gradually turned into quiet sobs, as if he had cried himself tired.

A brief moment of peace was restored to the room.

Ling Ye and Su Wanqing both breathed a sigh of relief, as if they had just survived a great battle.

However, before they could catch their breath--

"Gurgle..."

A very clear rumbling sound from the baby's stomach broke the silence.

The little guy smacked his lips, his head burrowing into Su Wanqing's arms, making faint grunting sounds.

He was hungry.

Ling Ye and Su Wanqing looked at each other, seeing greater despair in each other's eyes.

Milk?

Where can I get milk?!

Ling Ye's gaze swept over Su Wanqing's chest again, like a searchlight.

Su Wanqing instantly clutched her child, her face flushing crimson, and she backed away repeatedly, "I... I don't have any!"

Ling Ye curled his lips in disgust, seeming to find the idea unrealistic. His gaze then swept over the tattered cloth bundle.

Divine pills? Immortal brew? Chaos Spirit Spring? These things had too potent energy; feeding them to a mortal infant would likely cause them to explode.

Did he have to go catch a milk-producing spirit beast? Or... buy milk powder at the supermarket?!

The mere thought of him, holding a baby (or directing Su Wanqing to hold the baby), studying milk powder brands in the supermarket aisle sent a wave of soul-deep aversion and shame through Ling Ye!

Just as the two were at a loss—

The bellyband in Ling Ye's arms seemed to sense the resonance of "hunger," becoming restless again. It emitted a faint mental fluctuation, "I'm hungry too," tinged with curiosity and a hint of envy towards the baby next door who could cry and be truly hungry...

Ling Ye was driven to distraction by this dual onslaught of hunger, becoming extremely agitated.

He suddenly looked at Su Wanqing, a dangerous glint flashing in his eyes, "You! Go out! Get some... milk! Any kind will do! The sooner the better!"

Su Wanqing shivered, clutching the child helplessly, "Where... where do I get it?"

"I don't care where you get it!" Ling Ye completely lost his patience, roaring, "Steal! Rob! Buy! Whatever! If you don't get it back in half an hour, I'll..."

Before his threat could be fully uttered—

The hotel room's doorbell suddenly rang, "Ding dong!"

The clear sound was exceptionally jarring in the silent room.

Both of them started in surprise, their gazes snapping to the door!

Who?!

A hotel attendant? Or... had the trouble from before found them?!

Ling Ye immediately became alert, his eyes sharpening. He shielded Su Wanqing and the child behind him, signaling her to be quiet.

The doorbell rang again. Then, a slightly familiar, hesitant, and probing young male voice came from outside the door:

"Uh... sir? Madam? Are you... alright? I thought I heard the baby crying very loudly just now... Do you need any help? I'm the dad next door, I just got back with some milk powder..."

The dad next door?!

The father of the real baby was back?!

Ling Ye and Su Wanqing exchanged a glance, seeing the astonishment and... a glimmer of hope in each other's eyes!

Milk... wasn't it delivered right to their doorstep?!

A sharp light flashed in Ling Ye's eyes. He instantly retracted all killing intent, forcing a (self-proclaimed) kind but actually extremely twisted smile onto his face. Taking a deep breath, he walked over... and opened the door.

Standing outside was a man in ordinary clothes, holding a bag of freshly opened milk powder and a bottle. His face showed concern and a hint of exhaustion. He was the husband of the mother next door who had been asleep.

When the man saw Ling Ye open the door (his face still pale, his smile eerie), then glanced at Su Wanqing inside holding the baby (her clothes slightly dishevelled, her expression panicked), and the torn bedsheet on the floor...

His expression instantly became extremely... complex and subtle. His gaze darted between Ling Ye, Su Wanqing, and the child, filled with all sorts of imaginings.

"Uh... you guys... this is..." the man began hesitantly.

Ling Ye, afraid he would misunderstand further or leave, quickly stepped aside, saying in the most "stable" tone he could manage, "It's nothing, nothing. The baby was just a bit fussy, but it's fine now. Oh? You bought milk powder? That's great! We just happen to... happen to not have enough! Could you... spare us some? We can pay! Ten times the price!"

His tone carried an unconcealable urgency.

The man was taken aback by his enthusiasm (and strangeness), instinctively pulling the milk powder bag back slightly, his eyes growing more wary, "You... aren't the baby's parents?"

Ling Ye: "..."

Su Wanqing: "!!!"

Ling Ye's mind raced, preparing to concoct a plausible excuse (like they found the baby?), when the tattered cloth bundle in his arms, due to his emotional fluctuations and vigorous movements, had its opening widen slightly again.

A crumpled piece of paper, seemingly stuffed in casually, printed with a cartoon pattern... fluttered out from inside, landing right at the man's feet by the doorway.

The man instinctively looked down.

On the paper, written in crooked but inexplicably natural-feeling calligraphy, was a line of text:

[First rule of baby-rearing: Patience is the best crying stopper, father's love is the best milk powder. -- Primordial's Number One Daddy · Ling Ye (Draft)]

In the corner of the paper, a blurry red seal resembling a small footprint was printed.

The man: "?????"

He looked up, at Ling Ye's pale face, his urgent gaze, his eerie smile, then at Su Wanqing holding the baby inside, and finally at the ridiculous "baby-rearing tips" at his feet...

His mouth slowly opened, his face displaying an expression of extreme shock, disbelief, and shattered worldview!

Primordial's Number One Daddy?!

Draft?!

This... this guy... has he gone too far with his cosplay?! He's even writing his own tips?!

Ling Ye also saw the paper flutter down. His old face instantly turned crimson (with anger), wishing he could turn back time and stuff this black history back into the deepest part of the bundle!

At this moment of awkwardness so profound it could carve out a three-bedroom apartment—

The infant cradled in Su Wanqing's arms seemed to catch the scent of the milk powder brought by his biological father. His little mouth pouted, and he let out another loud, desperate cry:

"Waaah--!!! Milk--!!!" (That's probably what he meant)

This cry instantly broke the stalemate.

The father snapped back to reality. Paternal instinct overwhelmed his fear of the "lunatic," and he quickly raised the milk powder can in his hand. "Is the baby hungry? I'll share some with you to tide you over! It's tough being parents, isn't it!"

As he spoke, he squeezed into the room between Ling Ye and Su Wanqing with practiced ease. He skillfully began preparing warm water and mixing the milk powder, chattering as he worked:

"Make sure the water temperature is right, not too hot, not too cold..."

"The milk powder ratio needs to be precise; too much will cause internal heat, too little won't provide enough nutrition..."

"You parents are something else, not bringing enough milk powder when you go out? Look at how hungry the baby is..."

Ling Ye and Su Wanqing stared blankly like two stunned posts, watching this stranger take charge and skillfully handle everything. Listening to his rambling "parenting advice" felt like their worldview was undergoing a new round of baptism.

Ling Ye, in particular, watched the man's fluid movements and listened to the "knowledge points" he'd never heard before. Then, he compared it to his own fumbling earlier and the violent act of tearing up the bedsheet...

An unprecedented, complex emotion surged in his heart.

Was it shame? Anger? Or... a faint trace of... envy?

Soon, the milk powder was ready. The man tested the temperature and then, with natural ease, handed the baby bottle towards... Ling Ye, who was closest to him.

"Here, test the temperature. It should be fine if it's not hot on the inside of your wrist. Then feed him," the man said casually, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Ling Ye looked at the baby bottle offered to him as if it were a deadly weapon, his entire body freezing.

Feed... feed the baby?!

He?! Personally?!

He instinctively wanted to retreat and refuse.

But the man's gaze carried an undeniable meaning of "this is your responsibility as a father."

At the same time, the bellyband in his embrace stirred again, transmitting a strong intent: "I want some too! Learn it!"

Behind him, Su Wanqing, holding the wailing infant, also looked at him with a complex expression (even a hint of amusement).

Ling Ye was trapped.

He tremblingly reached out, as if accepting an explosive rune, and stiffly took the warm baby bottle.

Under the man's "encouraging" gaze, Su Wanqing's "expectant" eyes, and the bellyband's "curious" intent, all three watching him—

Ling Ye, the former Primordial Great Expert, now the "temporary daddy," held his breath and, with a look of facing death, ...

Gently...

Carefully...

Pushed the nipple...

Into the mouth...

Of the crying infant.

The world... instantly fell silent.

Only the baby's satisfied gulping sounds remained.

And Ling Ye's stiff expression of relief mixed with utter frustration, as if he had completed an epic quest.

The father smiled with satisfaction. "See? You can do it! Just practice more!"

Ling Ye: "..."

He wanted to die.