He Would Have Nothing Left

Atropos said:

[Gamer, have you found your answer?]

My... answer.

Su Qing'an was confused.

A boy should cry, but he should also laugh.

If he had a physical body, he would probably be in tears right now.

It turns out... all that stubbornness he thought he had was actually melted away into something softer.

From being all alone to being cherished and cared for by many people.

They would feel sad for him, grieve for him, and shed tears for him.

But it is precisely because of this that Su Qing'an hesitates, feels sorrow, and suffers torment.

Resurrection means restarting.

And what restarting means... the boy knew all too well.

He will lose everything again.

The second encounter with Kiana at the coffee shop; the sage who broke Ganesha's tusk; the warmth in my heart when the red-haired woman embraced me after my first injury; the names and photos that appeared on the billboard; the swaying shadows of lanterns under the temple fair, the two figures torn apart by the shimmering surface of the lake...

And there are so many, so many, so many more...

There's the image of the immortal earnestly teaching me martial arts with a slight smile on his lips; there's the kind, expectant gaze of the old man; there's the scene of Kiana pulling me to play games, Bronya tugging at my clothes, Mei smiling beside me.

There's the image of the purple-haired girl sipping black coffee, her face softening; and Himeko, drinking and cuddling him, talking nonsense...

Wow, so many!

Why so many?

Just a casual recollection was enough to overwhelm Su Qing'an with a flood of images in her mind.

If you restart...

All of this will never have existed; it will only become an attic in the boy's memory that will never be filled again.

I can't bear to part with it.

That was his first reaction.

If everything is to be forgotten, I might as well be dead.

When it came to making a real choice, or rather, when the gods granted him the right to choose, the pain Su Qing'an was experiencing now surpassed all the hardships he had endured so far.

It was like the simple suffering of having your heart ripped out, and the mad determination to personally cut open your chest with a sword and remove your heart.

There is a huge difference between these.

The gods did it on purpose.

Whether it's a gift or giving him so-called choice.

His reason for doing this was because of the predicament that Su Qing'an was currently facing.

Only those players with enough willpower to cross this threshold are qualified to be the ones He notices.

Restart.

A future that seems like a curse with no end, yet even in such a tragic future, the gods must allow Su Qing'an to maintain his own will and make choices, letting him judge for himself and walk towards that future.

Su Qing'an's will had been tempered countless times, and even in the eyes of the gods, he was already a hero qualified enough to crush normal game levels.

But that's not enough.

It still needs to be tortured, it still needs to be whipped, it still needs to be tempered.

If we don't do this, we won't be resilient enough; if we don't do this, we won't be strong enough; if we don't do this, we won't be qualified.

Su Qing'an was confused.

Why not restart?

Now she has buried a new Heart Seal at the Mount Taixu, and there is no more smile on her face; the [Calming the Tempest] sword is sealed in its case, just like the old man's martial arts, which has come to an end after he shattered his sword heart.

Kiana runs the coffee shop, and Bronya and Mei become regulars there; Murata Himeko quit drinking, and no one has seen her drunken state since.

Satou Yunona rarely goes to the academy anymore; she travels all over the world doing missions, as if she can't forget anything otherwise.

They were all unhappy.

Someone inside him was mocking the boy's hesitation and cowardice.

That's Inner Demon.

See, what's wrong with restarting?

Only in this way will a world where only you will get hurt be complete.

They are different.

He would have naturally refuted it.

Su Qing'an would explain that his sadness was only temporary, and that even if he felt sorry for many people, the outcome would only be better than when he was gone.

He would say that Himeko wouldn't have died in that battle if she had a natural Stigmata, Yuno could now fully control the power of the Pseudo-Herrscher, so she didn't die in Changkong City.

Su Qing'an should refute this.

But he didn't respond, he didn't say anything.

Because...

[You should understand that if we don't restart, one day all those people will die.]

Yes.

Su Qing'an understood; he understood the meaning behind Atropos's words.

In that future that continued to unfold, the gods showed him not only the reactions of those who cared about him.

He also showed the boy the ending.

An ending that was utterly tragic, without any process.

Therefore, Su Qing'an must restart.

Hate being forgotten, refuse to be forgotten, and fear those pairs of eyes that may become unfamiliar.

Even so...

Something dark had seeped into his once pure, golden will. He should have gritted his teeth, he should have been heartbroken, he should have been numb, he should have been utterly despondent.

But now... the boy overcame everything, crushing and burying it deep within his soul. In the end, he alone bore all the despair and sorrow, and made his answer.

Su Qing'an whispered:

"Reboot."

"I want to... change that ending."

For this, the boy was willing to endure any cost.

Even so, this is a price more painful than simple death.

Perhaps when someone learns about Su Qing'an's ordeal later, they will understand that transforming a person is such a simple thing.

All you need to do is give him an imperfect life and a little bit of love.

Take it away again.

Finally, give him the sweetest hope.

Just like this...

A soul even more resilient than the brave will gradually be forged.

As long as... it doesn't collapse.

Atropos whispered:

[So, the journey begins.]

[May your wishes come true, gamer.]

After it uttered those words, the boy's vision was filled with light once more.

There was almost no pause or hesitation.

The world has been completely rebooted.

In the collapsing worldline, time and the past, crushed into dust, vanished into the boundary of nothingness.

Before Su Qing'an could even process the utter emptiness in his heart, he had to face this completely unfamiliar world once again, with nothing left to lose.

This is different from the previous times.

There are no cities, no people.

On the almost boundless plain, a lone boy gazed at the sky and the distant horizon. The dark color in his eyes grew even more profound, clearly reflecting the approaching Honkai Beast, yet it did not stir much emotion, as if it were filled with a hint of loneliness and sorrow.

Lost in these emotions, Su Qing'an threw a punch at his attacker.

That was an extremely domineering punch, its momentum as fierce as a mountain and sea surging back.

The head of the Chariot-class Honkai Beast was instantly pressed into its massive shell. Scattered fragments of Honkai Energy, like sparks or blood, burst forth like fireworks, scattering across the land and obscuring the view.

The white, inorganic body collapsed unconsciously to the ground. Su Qing'an remained expressionless as he watched the Honkai Beast continue to surge forward, his resolve unwavering.

The boy's fist was bleeding, but he still managed to kill a Chariot-class Honkai Beast with a single punch.

Unbeknownst to him, Su Qing'an's martial arts skills had improved once again.

But no one can see it anymore.

No one can understand how much martial arts knowledge Su Qing'an accumulated to achieve such rapid mastery step by step.

He stepped into the Honkai Beast without flinching, as if entering a stormy night, where he could be swallowed by the cold darkness at any moment.

Then, over the long period that followed, the boy tore the scroll apart with lightning speed, his punches and kicks striking like lightning.

After a long ten minutes, Su Qing'an, covered in blood, walked out of the ground littered with the corpses of Honkai Beast.

He was injured, which shouldn't have happened.

An opponent of this caliber wouldn't have injured Su Qing'an long ago, but the boy is currently in a very special situation.

Su Qing'an understood her current situation. Within her Mind Lake, which had transformed into a clear mirror, a gray mist covered everything, and a dark color gradually spread out, creating fine cracks beneath the Mind Lake.

In the original version of the Void Sword Qi, Su Qing'an's situation undoubtedly indicated that his sword heart was on the verge of shattering.

Even if you make a choice and suppress your pain, it's impossible for your heart to remain completely unmoved.

Sometimes, growth is a rapid process of breaking free from the cocoon and transforming into a butterfly; you can suddenly grow up in just a moment.

But Su Qing'an faced something completely different; he wasn't facing the so-called growth in his values.

Rather, it is something much deeper and darker.

The sword's heart is tarnished.

The divine version of the Void Sword Qi will enter a state of obscurity when the user is unable to fully comprehend its intent.

In this situation, the ability to control Honkai Energy will be reduced to an extremely low level.

The boy no longer possessed his armor, nor did he have [the Calming the Tempest].

Under such circumstances, Su Qing'an was able to survive this initial crisis and successfully walk out of the mountain of Honkai Beast corpses without suffering much injury, which is enough to prove that his martial arts have surpassed the old man who originally taught him.

The concentration of Honkai Energy here is very high.

After entering the third stage, the Honkai Energy cycle expanded again. Based on the Honkai Energy resistance given to him by the Artificial Stigmata, Su Qing'an was actually on the verge of becoming Zombie.

The reason he is still alive is that even though the manifested part of the [Stigmata] is in a semi-dead state, it is still connected to the Honkai Energy in the body and a portion of it is drawn into the [Stigmata].

This prevented his body from being eroded by Honkai Energy beyond its limits, and he could even feel a long-lost sense of ease. However, these feelings were no longer within Su Qing'an's consideration.

Lifespan? Future? Power lock-in?

These issues, which should have been important, have now become so insignificant, like a burden that can be easily discarded.

The boy glanced indifferently at the blood spreading across his clothes, then walked forward.

If we were to arrive in an era where humanity has been utterly defeated by the Honkai, and the world is devoid of human habitation, then perhaps the future Su Qing'an would face would be one of utter darkness.

Even if that wasn't the case, he still had to spend a long time crossing this desolate plain on foot.

Regardless of the outcome, the young man must endure a long period of loneliness and hardship.

The plains are vast.

Without any supplies, given normal human stamina and physical capabilities, such an almost endless plain could practically guarantee semi-death and prolonged social isolation.

But Su Qing'an did not waver.

All this so-called loneliness pales in comparison to the possibility of never seeing familiar faces again.

For someone like Su Qing'an, restarting itself is the greatest torment. After experiencing this pain, no matter how turbulent other things may be for a short period of time, they can hardly stir his numb heart.

The sword's heart is tarnished.

This is a sign that one is aware of their inner problems but feels helpless about them.

This is an ordeal.

Of all the methods Su Qing'an could think of, forgetting was the best option.

Perhaps only by forgetting the past can he avoid being entangled and disturbed by it.

Resurrection should be a joyous occasion, but the boy, lost in thought about the remains of the past, found it difficult to feel any happiness.

Perhaps life is just a boundless journey, and if we accept all circumstances with equanimity, we may no longer feel lost.

But Su Qing'an couldn't be that carefree. His manner of killing Honkai Beast was brutal and full of ferocity, like a child venting his inner turmoil by smashing toys.

He shouldn't have been so naive, but theoretically, there's no such thing as rebirth.

The boy was not completely desperate. Even though his past memories had become empty and unfamiliar as the facts burned away, Su Qing'an still held onto other ideas.

In his view, as long as he can see his old friends, being forgotten is not an unacceptable thing.

Just like when the boy first saw Fu Hua in the modern world, even though the fact that she had been forgotten made him sad, he was still able to face it calmly.

As long as... I can still see them, that's enough.

He forced himself to reject the most likely truth, trying to steer the possibilities in his mind in a positive direction.

He thought he might meet Himeko when she was younger; the former elder had become a peer, which was quite strange.

Perhaps Su Qing'an will witness Kiana's birth, and he might even meet his parents when they were young, which could be seen as fulfilling his initial dream of seeing his family.

Perhaps Su Qing'an has arrived in an era when Kiana and the others have already graduated, and the flames of Honkai are raging ever brighter. He will go with the tide and fight against Honkai alongside them, walking the same path as before.

But that's fine too.

Having someone you know well is a reassuring thing in itself.

On a desolate land swept by a strong wind, a boy dressed in a white shirt walked alone on the road, his eyes reflecting the endless horizon and the uncertain future ahead.

This is a pre-civilization that has been completely isolated from the Previous Civilization for 50,000 years.

The future that Su Qing'an envisioned never existed in the first place.