Hua's Transformation, Carol's Despair

July 12th.

Fu Xiuran lay quietly on the hospital bed, his face gaunt, purple lines now covering his once tall body.

His once clear blue eyes were now veiled in a gray mist, as if he could no longer see the world clearly. The focus in his pupils only became clear when he looked at the girl's face.

Why were they able to endure four months of this?

Honkai Energy, like maggots, gnawed and crawled across the nerves and bone marrow of the entire body, causing flesh to gradually shrink as if it would dissolve into black dust at any moment.

The unwavering will of a warrior has kept men from ever speaking of these hardships, but that doesn't mean these despairs don't exist.

The combination of various factors—the emergency intravenous injections in the dead of night, the periodic hibernation in a dormant chamber filled with Honkai Energy Inhibitor, and the gradually increasing proportion of medication in her food—was barely enough to keep Fu Xiuran's life hanging by a thread.

But this is merely prolonging a lifeline that should have ended abruptly, and at such a grueling cost.

Even if you live, you will see no hope.

If all that is left for the living is despair and sorrow.

If the meaning of living is already like Paper Kite with a broken string, only held together by a single thread.

Continuing to persist might have long since become a long and silent torment.

Deep down, which Fu Hua could never truly accept, she had come to understand the reality that her father would eventually die.

The man gazed slowly at Fu Hua's face, his pace of contemplation seemingly slowing down as his body grew increasingly frail.

The Honkai Energy of Honkai energy is all-pervasive.

I once thought that by witnessing the martial arts beyond the mountains, I might be able to escape this ridiculous fate.

However, due to time and skill limitations, Fu Xiuran was still unable to make any further progress.

Perhaps stopping here is a good thing.

Only after a man takes things further will he realize that the ethereal concept of martial arts is powerless against the demons residing within his body.

Behind every despair lies more despair.

At the end of the Lightless sea, the sea remains still pitch black and deep.

Honkai, Honkai.

Even for Su Qing'an, how many hopeless journeys back home would she have to endure before she could escape this so-called selection process?

No one knows the answer.

The man recalled how frequently Fu Hua had visited him recently, and thought of...

My daughter seems to have changed a lot during this time, like the silent, undulating currents hidden beneath the surface of the sea, something I, confined to my hospital bed, can do nothing about.

Unbeknownst to him as her father... she must have suffered a lot.

Fu Xiuran tried to smile and say something, but realized that making his daughter understand his worries was itself a silent pressure, so he said softly:

"Xiao Su... that child hasn't come back yet."

The girl pursed her lips. She had already understood from Seele that there was no need to continue hiding Su Qing'an's condition, but perhaps continuing to maintain this lie would be a good thing for her father.

Fu Hua had vaguely realized what the source of this emaciated man's will was that had allowed him to continue living until now.

It's Su Qing'an.

It was Su Qing'an, the one who could take Fu Xiuran's place in caring for him, the one a father trusted and was willing to entrust his daughter to.

I can't truly feel at ease until I see that person.

There is no way to choose death without receiving that person's final promise.

Therefore, Fu Hua cannot utter a number that would cause men utter despair.

There are still four months until the time when the boy is most likely to truly Awakened.

However, according to the doctor, even with the most optimistic estimate, my father has less than two months left to live.

In fact, if a man is contemplating suicide, this number may already be negative.

Fu Xiuran destined not to live to see Su Qing'an Awakened; this was not the limit of his will, but the limit of his body.

She could only continue to carefully protect her father's inner expectations, choosing to package her fragile lies with an cloying sweetness.

The girl gazed at the man's graying temples, meeting his slowly focusing pupils. Her lips naturally curved upwards, a gentle yet warm smile.

She smiled and said:

"It's alright, he'll be fine, Dad."

"He made a great contribution at another branch a few days ago, so he can't stay there to continue guarding the city. But it's okay, it'll be over soon."

"The local war there will end soon, and then Su Qing'an can be transferred back to Australia."

Fu Xiuran sighed softly:

"It's been a long war."

Fu Hua's hands grasped the man's increasingly withered flesh, revealing his clearly defined bones.

She repeated softly in a low, murmuring tone:

"Yes, it has been a long war."

Long, defeated, hopeless, and bleak, it was also accompanied by countless deaths.

How should we accept this kind of world?

What attitude should we adopt when facing this reality?

Go with the flow? Give up on yourself? Indulge in hedonism? Turn a blind eye?

Fu Hua has been away from the recruit camp for three months. During this time, she has experienced war, faced life and death, realized the fragility of life, and understood the value of fighting.

So the answers to those questions, or rather, the choice of which path to take, had long been bubbling in the girl's chest, settling gently into the Mind Lake.

Su Qing'an's existence Fu Hua to encounter things that were completely different from the fixed timeline in the past.

This led Fu Hua, who should have chosen to go with the flow, to actively step into this endless hell of carnage in this rebooted timeline, based on her own will and unwavering belief.

Sunlight poured into the room like a ceaseless river, casting hazy shadows and reflecting in her gray, misty eyes the girl's serene expression as her lips parted slightly, moving gently.

She looked at Fu Xiuran and said earnestly and firmly:

"But it will end, Dad."

"One day, humanity will triumph."

"And until then, I will not stop fighting."

"From that moment on, I never wanted to lose again."

"It's not about simply relying on others, not about purely expecting things from them, not about praying for changes in your own reality, but about actively fighting with the mindset of absolutely not wanting to lose."

"Only in this way... only in this way will I not fall behind Su Qing'an."

The man stared at Fu Hua in a daze for a moment.

Perhaps that's just how children are; they always grow up quietly without adults noticing.

Hua, who used to secretly tug at her sleeve and blink her eyes because of a hair tie, has finally reached the point where she can take care of herself.

Fu Xiuran always felt that she was not old enough to take care of herself. He also subconsciously believed that his daughter could not survive in this world without Su Qing'an's help, and even thought that Fu Hua should be content with her current protection.

But the truth is quite the opposite; her holy blue eyes are like the frozen Lake Baikal, its winding shoreline encircling everything, with only the lingering tectonic activity capable of creating subtle ripples.

Four months passed in the blink of an eye, and the girl's slender body now contained things she couldn't understand.

Perhaps this is something to be thankful for.

But what exactly did she go through, experience, and understand to become so quickly someone even she finds somewhat remarkable?

As a parent, while gratified by the seemingly positive outcome, Fu Xiuran was more concerned about the hardships she had endured during the process.

Unfortunately, I won't get a definite answer.

As he gazed at his daughter's smile, he seemed to see, in a daze, the image of his wife holding her and looking at him.

The man closed his eyes, a slight smile playing on his lips. It really was... so similar.

After a long while, he opened his eyes, smiled, and said softly:

"Good."

"Dad will wait, wait... for the day Hua ends the war."

Fu Hua gazed at his face, the myriad emotions that had accumulated over this period silently piled up like a mountain.

The ice between the Mind Lake slowly melts, and the white lines that intertwine to form cracks disappear without a trace, like the white mist dissipating as the sun rises.

There's no need to recite the Sword Heart Technique at this time anymore.

The girl felt the gentle warmth of her father's palm, and her intact Mind Lake was reshaped, freezing in her Sea of consciousness into the clear Lake Baikal.

Kenshin has advanced to the Mirror Realm.

She will not give up again.

He was already very close to that person's back, and before he Awakened, he could become even stronger.

So strong that... there's no need to regret anything anymore.

Why join the Moth to Fire?

After several brushes with death, Carole would often ask herself these questions.

This is a question that often arises in the middle of the night, a question that frequently arises within me.

The reason is simple.

The girl always gives herself the exact same answer.

The answer has never changed, never wavered.

Because my mother died in battle.

That tall, gentle, plain-looking, muscular mother who would embrace all her hobbies died in battle.

That mother who was strict with herself but lenient with others, that mother who looked so out of place in her apron yet would earnestly cook for me, that mother I somewhat feared but deeply loved, the mother I planned to repay in my own way...

They died under the trampling of the Honkai forces.

[Colonel Lewis encountered the Emperor-class Honkai Beast codenamed Ashwatthama at 2:23 PM on February 21st.]

[Faced with certain defeat in the battle, she ultimately sacrificed her life, causing Ashwatthama to lose both arms and fall into a 37-minute malfunction.]

[The remaining seventy-eight survivors in the city, who were under her protection, were all saved as a result.]

On the day she arrived at the Australian branch, reality played a cruel joke on Carole Pepper, crushing her last remaining hopes into dust.

Himeko stopped reading aloud, staring into those suddenly empty eyes, unsure how to comfort them.

She had seen too many of these things, to the point of being numb.

Although it's cruel, in such a world, those who cannot quickly recover from their grief and the past, and who choose to carry on with heavy burdens, will find it difficult to survive.

The woman chose to leave, leaving only one sentence behind.

After that day, Carole was completely distraught, remaining silent and in a daze for three days.

When Fu Hua finally met her... it was already at the recruit camp.

How foolish! Why choose this path?

The recruit camp was full of high-intensity training that used to make her complain endlessly. Compared to the girl who would carefully relax her calf muscles after jogging a few steps, the person now seemed to have shed the remains of the past, and was etched by the world and time into an unrecognizable state.

Carole had become accustomed to responding to everything with silence. Only in front of her few remaining friends would she pretend that nothing had happened, maintaining this facade with an empty, familiar smile and the same tone of voice as before.

When she was alone, she lost the ability to speak.

Why bother with appearance anymore? Even before that question could even form, the lingering feeling of caring about such things had vanished.

My mother had dark skin, strong muscles, and a sharply defined profile, making her stand out from women with fair skin and slender figures.

Carole used to hate her mother's appearance; she might have been a bad child.

But as she grew older, she eventually accepted it.

She loved her mother like that.

She loved her upright, straightforward, and unique mother.

But she died.

Therefore, Carole Pepper had to join the Moth to Fire. She had to undergo arduous training, endure pain and torment, overcome fear and sorrow, and then step onto the battlefield filled with smoke and death.

The reason is simple: without joining the Moth to Fire, one cannot know the truth about the Honkai.

This is the result of the stubborn continuation of previous policies, and also a comforting thought that gives rise to hopeful expectations among the uninformed public.

Himeko cannot deny that such an approach has undeniable effectiveness, and she also believes that it would be better for those who lack the corresponding awareness not to face such a reality.

But such a choice was too difficult for Carole.

The mother's death was caused by that so-called Emperor-class Honkai Beast, but what is Emperor-class? What is Honkai Beast? What is Honkai? Why does Honkai occur? Who is the real culprit?

I can't let go of what I don't know, I can't forgive myself for not knowing, I can't do anything for that person if I don't move forward, and if I don't know... I have no reason to continue living.

Carole didn't want any of those things—dreams, the future, life and death.

So empty, so sad, so hopeless.

It was as if his heart had already broken down at that moment; even dying on the virtual battlefield, being pierced by Honkai Beast's lance, seemed to have little effect.

Carol simply realized that this was her limit. After seeing Hua wielding a thin sword and slaying one Honkai Beast after another that she thought she couldn't defeat, she understood even more that this was reality.

So-called enlightenment and effort cannot overcome those things that are innate.

A weak person is weak; even if they become stronger, they can only stay at a certain limit.

The fact that even someone as powerful as my mother died at the hands of Honkai Beast proves that neither short-term efforts nor prolonged suffering can bring the desired results.

Will my actions upset that person?

It doesn't matter anymore.

Anyway, she can't see it anymore.