I Like Her, Yet I Cannot Find Her.

Su Qing'an remained silent for a long time. His fingers gently stroked the ink that had been drawn into a period. He could still see some traces of ink spreading out for some reason. He could vaguely feel the slightly uneven texture on his skin, as if fine sand was flowing over it.

Was Li Shishi's mood at that time truly as light and carefree as those two lines suggest?

She may have truly believed then that they might never meet again in this lifetime, but she also knew that with the lifespan of an immortal, there would surely be a day when she would return, so she wanted to appear more optimistic in front of the two of them.

Although the two have returned, how many five-year periods does one have in a lifetime?

Fu Hua was already used to this and shouldn't have felt much emotional fluctuation, but her heart, which was as hard as a rock, became more vibrant with the arrival of others, causing some ripples in her chest.

She suppressed these emotions, her lips slightly parted, and placed her soft hand on the boy's palm, offering a warm touch, and whispered:

"Let's look at the next one."

Su Qing'an nodded silently and tore open the wax seal on the letter again.

[Yes, it's been a long time since I've been back to Fuyun Temple, but it's still very clean and dust-free. I suppose Rongyue has been coming back to clean it regularly.]

[When I met her again a year later, Rongyue seemed even thinner than before, but her figure remained as tall and slender as ever. She was still very quiet, but for some reason, she seemed to rely on me more than before.]

[This is somewhat childlike of me; perhaps subconsciously I like it when the other person can rely on me, so I find that endearing.]

As the sect leader of Chaoxian, Rongyue has always borne immense pressure, even though she has never made a mistake and has always been on the right path. Perhaps it is precisely because of this that she suffers from an inescapable weariness.

[During my travels, I rarely heard of Rongyue. She would occasionally drift off into her own thoughts when we were together. Perhaps... I shouldn't have been so selfish as to leave.]

[Perhaps I was more important to her than I initially thought. I was supposed to be Chaoxian's open sword, but I overlooked that and deliberately chose to avoid it, leaving her to face that complex pressure alone.]

[Throughout my year of travel, I've strived to live up to my initial vision, only to realize that my past desires and initial intentions were merely to gain freedom and the right to see the world. But now that I have the ability to leave alone and achieve it, I've unknowingly fallen into a transparent confinement.]

[Where is there any boundless freedom and unbridled joy? One remains trapped, the mind imprisoned.]

[If I choose to run away, I'm destined to never find happiness.]

This time, I want to stay by Jiang Rongyue's side, at least... until she's not so tired anymore, then I'll think about leaving.

[But she smiled and said that Senior Xiao Xuan really wanted to travel all over the Shenzhou, and asked me to give her a ride when I left Mount Taixu. I tried to refuse, but she earnestly said that she hoped I could realize my dream, and that time was really precious for my dream of traveling all over the Shenzhou.]

[If I were to reject her, I suppose I could only say that one sentence, but I'm too cowardly to utter it. So... after finishing this letter, I'll embark on my journey again.]

The snow was still heavy this year, but the gardenias that drifted on the wind were gone.

This letter seems to express more of her inner turmoil and sorrow than her concern about the couple's prolonged absence.

This also indirectly shows that Li Shishi's intention in leaving this letter was no longer to have it seen by the two men, but simply to express her inner turmoil and to continue a habit she had taken two years prior.

Otherwise, given her personality, she would likely have kept her mouth shut and not given away a single clue before deciding to confess her feelings to that person, let alone leave any trace in writing.

Su Qing'an carefully put the letter away, but a vague feeling of unease lingered in her heart. Besides revealing the state of Jiang Rongyue's long-term use of [Precognition] and the corresponding consequences, combined with the veiled information in Li Shishi's previous letter, something even more subtle could be discerned here.

However... there is insufficient evidence; it may just be an illusion.

The immortal, however, did not sense anything amiss; such a subtle emotion would indeed be difficult to perceive unless viewed from God's perspective.

She simply said:

"Rongyue's body had already started to act strangely at that time, but she was at least able to disguise it to the point that Shishi didn't completely notice."

Su Qing'an remained silent for a moment, then commented:

"She's still using that ability."

The girl pondered for a moment, then sighed:

"Based on your judgment, the ability to melt the moon is related to the Sea of Quantum. The so-called prediction of the future may be a large-scale deduction of the future world based on existing information from the past."

"Rongyue has been experiencing this phenomenon almost constantly since childhood, which is why she passively knows a lot of information about the future, whether it will be good or bad, and what the consequences will be if she chooses a certain direction."

"The amount of information that can be obtained by passively receiving information and by actively urging others is completely different."

Su Qing'an explained:

"Rongyue lacks experience in leading and building an organization. If she has been relying on [foresight] to sustain herself from her initial speeches until now, it would have taken her a full five years to do so."

Fu Hua closed her eyes, her fingertips gently tracing the letter left behind by Jiang Rongyue, and softly asked:

"Qing'an, how long do you think an ordinary person can remain normal under this amount of information?"

The teenager calmly analyzed:

"Given the general physical capabilities and brain strength of humans, it's impossible to support such a macroscopic projection of the future. Even if Mei wanted to do something like this with her own body, she would need to rely on large-scale instruments and make extensive preparations, and there's even a risk of failure."

"But Jiang Rongyue is different. From the moment she was born, or from the moment she first realized her future path, she had already reached a subtle symbiotic relationship with a kind of distortion similar to a natural phenomenon."

"Humans cannot quell or create a storm without using any external aids, but natural phenomena can extend from tsunamis to black holes in the universe."

"Similarly, Jiang Rongyue herself cannot do these things, but she does not need to bear the macroscopic information of predicting the future; most of the useless information is entirely borne by the quantum phenomena surrounding her."

Su Qing'an considered for a moment and said:

"I suspect that, assuming she doesn't actively stimulate this phenomenon, all the future paths that flash through her mind are refined by this phenomenon, which acts as a sieve, providing only the thin information of answers without causing brain damage. It's roughly equivalent to periodically reading a newspaper in one's mind."

This is reasonable, since the phenomena that coexist with it should bear the consequences of their own initiation.

He actually had a deeper understanding of this matter, but to avoid worrying Fu Hua and because it wouldn't benefit the current situation, he didn't voice it.

He simply continued:

"But if you initiate it yourself, that's a completely different story."

Fu Hua asked:

"If only in this way, would the symbiotic phenomenon cease to bear all the information?"

Su Qing'an shook his head and said:

"In that case, she would either go insane or die in the first year, or she would try it once and then never continue using it."

"The question is, what is the goal of Melting Moon [predicting the future]?"

"Hua was only fifteen years old at the time. Even though she had traveled the martial arts world for five years, she hadn't learned all the basic common sense, let alone received any professional and systematic learning and education."

"Simply put, Rongyue is illiterate, and judging from her personality, she's the kind of illiterate person who's not well-suited to be a leader of a faction."

The Immortal Chi Yuan wanted to save face for his disciple, but found that he had no way to refute him. Being good at fighting and being cultured are two completely different things, and they have nothing to do with being able to lead a force.

Having lived this long, she's actually not very good at this, which, upon closer reflection, is in some ways even more embarrassing.

Su Qing'an continued:

"Under these conditions, Jiang Rongyue's requirement for [predicting the future] is also likely related to how [the pilgrimage] can be passed down to countless future eras without violating our own beliefs."

"This is like a primary school student trying to innovate on the Navier-Stokes equations; it's even more exaggerated than being separated by thousands of miles. So even if we make predictions in short-term plans, the amount of information we can receive far exceeds the human brain's capacity."

"Moreover, the future is subject to change, and the foreseen future does not necessarily represent an absolute answer. Jiang Rongyue will inevitably need to correct her mistakes from time to time. Once her power begins to develop, correcting mistakes will become beyond her capabilities. Only by making predictions again can she maintain absolute perfection."

The girl sighed and concluded:

"So... even if that phenomenon contains all the information beyond the answer she requested, the answer itself would be enough to overflow it, wouldn't it?"

Su Qing'an said:

"Yes, Rongyue's physical attributes have been enhanced by the Stigmata, but her brain's processing ability may not be so closely related to it, and it still has obvious limitations."

"Her Soul Essence is far more special and powerful than that of ordinary people, but it's only about twice as strong, slightly weaker than my level after the second reboot. So I'm quite clear that the enhancement of her Soul Essence is also limited to her physical body."

"In the past, I had Soul Hall that allowed me to escape this constraint, but now the essence of my life is [thought] and Manas consciousness, each with its own channels for bypassing it."

"But Jiang Rongyue doesn't have that, so the advantage of her soul can't be used as an asset."

"She's probably in a very chaotic situation right now."

The boy, upon reflecting on this, extracted clear lines from the information he had previously gleaned from his Manas consciousness, and felt some doubt about the information that Chi Yuan had shared earlier.

The two of them took turns using almost cheating methods, but they still couldn't find out any information about Jiang Rongyue in the near future, which was actually quite strange.

This is the result achieved by deliberately concealing all information about oneself.

But she had no reason to do so.

The side effect of [foreseeing the future] is that it makes taking action more troublesome, but it will not affect the actual combat strength.

If Jiang Rongyue is truly still in this city, is it necessary for her to control the entire city in such a complicated way?

Furthermore, it's illogical for [Chaoxian] to hide when she can't find any enemies daring to attack her in her own territory, nor does it align with her previous logic.

Even in a state of extreme chaos, it's normal to stay indoors and avoid people. But isn't it a bit strange that such a vast Chao Xian City couldn't find a single trace of Jiang Rongyue for two whole years?

Su Qing'an looked at the two unopened letters in her hand, and as she opened them, she mentioned a possibility:

"Perhaps, [Chaosan] is also looking for her, just like us."

Soon after, Li Shishi's next letter provided conclusive confirmation of this conjecture.

Jiang Rongyue has disappeared.

[Eight months after I left Mount Taixu again, the members of the pilgrimage group informed me of this news through a waiter at a restaurant.]

[I tried to awaken the Chi Yuan left in Sister Udu-dust's consciousness, hoping it could be revived like the one in Rong Yue's consciousness, but the result was not satisfactory.]

Is it because you are still in some very far place?

[But if that's truly the case, why could the Udu-dust within Rongyue's consciousness manifest the celestial image of Sister Chi Yuan? Perhaps it's because I haven't yet entered the realm of sword heart, or perhaps Rongyue herself possesses something special; in any case, the appearance of this news has deprived me of an easy way to find her immediately.]

[Only then did I realize that without this Udu-dust, Jiang Rongyue and I were like two individuals who could easily get lost in the vast sea of people, and if we weren't careful, we might never see each other again in this lifetime.]

[I should have understood this when you left, but it wasn't until she merged into this vast world and vanished into the hustle and bustle of life that I truly realized it.]

[Jiang Rongyue is not an irresponsible person. Before leaving, she had already prepared hundreds of corresponding plans and routes for Chaoxian over the next twenty years. However, this only proves that her departure was premeditated. The sheer amount of information, so precise as to seem as if she had seen the future, makes me increasingly uneasy.]

Why am I only noticing this anomaly that's mismatched with my abilities now? I'm starting to hate myself more and more for the version of myself that only cares about my own vision and feelings. I'm still the same as before, a mere ornament, a decoration beside someone else, shamelessly and complacently enjoying everything she gives me.

[Not only did I lack the courage to confess my true feelings for her, but I also chose to leave her when she needed someone by her side the most.]

[I've always been like this; I've always hidden under someone else's wings. When I was a child, it was Grandma Li; three years ago, it was Su Su; and in recent years, it's Rong Yue.]

[I don't want to travel Shenzhou anymore, I just want to find her.]

Therefore, Xiao Xuan and I decided to change our original route and join the Chaoxian team in the search for her. But the world is vast, and we don't know if we'll ever meet again.

[I don't want... I don't want her to disappear like you all.]

At this point, the letter had exhausted its contents.

Su Qing'an silently stared at the ink smudges and wrinkles that had blurred into circles on the last line of text, and pursed her lips.

At this point, whether Li Shishi actually liked Jiang Rongyue was no longer important.

The young man always respected other people's choices and thoughts. As long as they were willing, what did it matter if they hung red lanterns all over Chao Xian City and got married in front of everyone?

If they desire the blessings of the world, then on that day he will use his manas consciousness to illuminate the entire city, so that it may bestow sincere blessings.

Su Qing'an didn't care, and neither did Fu Hua.

Their safety is more important than anything else.

So he opened the last letter.

[It has been a long time since you left. I have been searching for her with Xiao Xuan and the followers of Chaoxian, but we still haven't found Rongyue's whereabouts. The Shenzhou too vast. Even the territory of the Great Song is difficult to fully explore, let alone the distant Liao Kingdom and the land of Penglai.]

[I also fantasized that since Rongyue loved Mount Taixu so much, perhaps she was even in this mountain, but Xiao Xuan used the mountain's surveillance equipment and methods to detect the wavelengths of the Heaven and Earth Qi, yet still found nothing.]

So we could only wander aimlessly in our search. But the world is so vast! Before, I was only amazed and delighted by the unknown and mysterious expanse, but now, I wish the world were only as big as Chao Xian City, just so I could find her... that would be enough.

[But that could only be a fantasy. I gradually realized that I might never see her again in this lifetime, unless Rongyue was willing to use her ability to ride the wind to reach every corner of the Shenzhou, and even beyond.]

[That would be like a mortal seeking the traces of immortals—as difficult as ascending to heaven.]

[I couldn't help but start thinking about the question I'd always been too afraid to consider: Why did she leave? Was it to find Sister Chi Yuan? But there's no reason for her not even to leave a message to keep us quiet. No matter how I think about it, the only explanation I can come up with is that something was wrong with her health...]

[And throughout this year, the plans and schemes left behind by Rongyue still seemed to encompass the entire future, without the slightest omission.]

[This is no longer a matter that can be explained by pure wisdom and knowledge; only now did I understand why she had always been hiding things from me.]

[Even so, I should have known long ago, from the moment she said those words to the villagers of Mount Taixu, that it wasn't a power she possessed.]

[Is it Stigmata possessing mysterious power? Did it pay the price for using this power? Is it still alive? Where is it now? Is it doing well?]

[A mind in turmoil may die peacefully without illness.]

I like her, but I can't find her.

I like her, but I can't help her.

[I used to think that not being able to learn the Sword Heart Technique only meant that I was from a completely different world from Sister Chi Yuan and Su Su, but now it also means that I will never... will never be able to catch up with her departure.]

The last letter ended abruptly here. The ink trembled abruptly after the last few words, causing the handwriting to lose its delicate beauty, creating a subtle pause that failed to reach the proper period...