What Kind of Scholar Are You?

The next day.

"Adam, come here for a second."

Ross pushed open the door and waved to Adam.

"What's wrong? Is there something you can't say here?"

Monica, who was making breakfast, said with dissatisfaction.

"A topic between men."

Ross shrugged. "You wouldn't want to know."

"OMG!"

Monica rolled her eyes and complained, "Not again? What's wrong with all of them? They're all spouting these bizarre things that make me want to go blind and Sheldon."

Yesterday, Joey borrowed her moisturizing lotion and used the stuff she used on her face to apply to her butt. She still feels disgusted and uncomfortable just thinking about it.

Now her own brother is up to some trouble again, she can't live like this anymore.

Adam got up and followed Ross to the other side.

Joey was there too.

"What's wrong?"

Adam asked curiously.

"Well."

Ross's classic Rose-style hesitation: laughing one minute and humming the next, but never saying it directly.

"He wouldn't say anything vulgar!"

Joey couldn't stand it and spoke up for Ross, then added indignantly, "I said I wanted to help him, but he didn't believe me and said you're more professional."

"I didn't say that."

Ross explained, "I just think you two are both very experienced. I absolutely can't fail on the second date after the first one failed. Just to be on the safe side, I'd like to hear your opinions, okay?"

"All right."

Joey nodded first, then flicked his finger. "But I'm the most professional!"

"Vulgar language?"

After hearing the whole story, Adam couldn't help but laugh.

It turns out that Ross's date last night went awry during the monkey show with Marcel. Marcel grabbed Ross's date by the hair and started yelling, almost scaring her away.

However, Ross's female companion was, after all, a colleague from the Museum of Prehistoric Creatures, and was very knowledgeable. After Marcel left, she put the matter aside and did not leave in anger. Instead, she and Ross began to get intimate on the sofa.

Just as Ross was reveling in his newfound happiness, thinking he would be the 'lucky dog' tonight, his female companion made a request that left him speechless.

That is to make Ross say vulgar things.

Where did Ross go?

Completely stunned, he stammered and mumbled for a long time, only managing to utter a single, utterly meaningless term related to the human body, which utterly ruined the atmosphere.

Fortunately, his girlfriend comforted him for a while and gave him a second chance, hoping that he could perform well on the next date.

"Um."

Ross said dejectedly, "She insists, so I have to learn."

"How did Joey teach you?"

Adam laughed.

"I made him say it to me."

Joey explained, "Just use me as a practice subject, and it'll definitely work."

He has always been willing to go to great lengths for his brothers' happiness.

"Are you serious?"

Adam burst out laughing, "Aren't you afraid that as he practices, he'll lose interest in his female partner and fall in love with you instead?"

"OMG!"

Ross exclaimed, "I knew it! That's why I felt there was something wrong with Joey's method before. Luckily, I found you. Otherwise, if something went wrong, I wouldn't be able to survive."

"Hi!"

Joey said in a gay tone, "Even if something goes wrong, am I really that unworthy of you? That you'd rather die than accept me?"

His thought process was peculiar; he didn't even notice the main problem. He was genuinely dissatisfied with Ross's words. Was he, Joey Tribiani, really that bad?

"..."

Ross's eyes nearly rolled back in his head. What kind of outrageous words were these? He was even more glad he hadn't listened to Joey.

"It's not that bad."

Adam laughed heartily, "No one can force you to bend over unless you're willing to."

"What should I do now?"

Ross suppressed his inner complaints and looked at Adam expectantly.

"This matter is easy to resolve."

Adam advised, "Read more books! What can't you find in books? Just pick a few erotic novels, memorize them a little, and you can improvise and get it done in no time."

There's an old saying that goes, "The more knowledgeable a person is, the better they are at tinkering with these things. You're a PhD, how come you couldn't even think of this?"

"Yes!"

Ross slapped his forehead, annoyed, and said, "How could I not have thought of that? But, Adam, what kind of erotic novels do you usually read? Are these kinds of lines... well, vulgar?"

"I never look at these things."

Adam said reservedly, "Have you forgotten about my part-time job?"

"Part time?"

Ross was taken aback.

"You're so stupid!"

Joey couldn't stand it anymore and shouted, "Adam is a writer himself. He can spout vulgarities like this as easily as he wants. Why would he need to read other people's writing?"

Ross felt so wronged he wanted to cry; even Joey was starting to look down on his intelligence.

"No, I'm going to the bookstore right now to buy books and start memorizing them!"

As he spoke, he strode outside, as if he had returned to the days of taking college exams.

"What a silly child."

Joey exclaimed, "They've all become stupid from reading so much; they even have to read books to learn such basic skills."

"Stop talking about Ross, how are you?"

Adam chuckled, "Are you planning to force extra screen time onto the buttocks?"

"I really want to try it."

Joey laughed sheepishly, "I asked my agent, and when I went to film, Al Pacino wasn't there at all. He's such a big star, I can't even get close to him. I might as well take a chance and let the director see that I'm different. What if he takes a liking to me?"

"Um."

Adam nodded and said, "That's possible."

"Right?"

Joey was greatly encouraged.

"That is indeed possible."

Adam said playfully, "If that director is gay and takes a liking to someone like you who's different from others, then you definitely have a great chance."

Joey's face immediately fell.

If the director were a beautiful woman, he might have given in, but this director was a grown man.

"Then let's forget about it."

Joey said with a bitter face, "I've already told my family, and they're all really looking forward to it. They'll be very disappointed if they don't see me in the theater."

Are you sure they'll see you if they go to the movie theater?

Adam was delighted.

"I can't say for others, but my mother will definitely recognize me."

Joey said confidently.

"..."

Adam was both amused and exasperated. The words sounded incredibly awkward; they could be described as heartwarming, but they also felt strange and disgusting.

"That's not necessarily true. Have you forgotten you're wearing makeup?"

"That's just a moisturizing lotion!"

"Joey called out."

Adam made a few more jokes and then left.

If he continued talking to Joey, he suspected that his IQ would drop. The thought of this terrible outcome terrified him, so he quickly checked the system panel again and breathed a sigh of relief when he found that it hadn't dropped.

"OMG!"

I was just about to go back across the street for breakfast when I heard a gasp from inside before I even opened the door.

"What's wrong?"

Adam quickly pushed the door open and went in, only to see Monica holding a newspaper and shouting.

"Caroline! It's Caroline!"

Adam was startled and quickly snatched the newspaper. He glanced at it and saw that it was indeed a picture of Caroline.