Shirozumi and the others arrived at the film crew's camp.
After a brief exchange of pleasantries, Kakashi looked around and asked Sandayu, "Where is Miss Fujikaze Yukie?"
"Alas, when she heard that we were going to film in the Land of Snow, she ran off by herself. We sent people to look for her, but still haven't found her. Kakashi, could you help us look for her?"
Asama Sandayu sighed and pleaded with them.
"Isn't that obvious? The bunch of people under your command are nothing but cannon fodder. You think this handful of people can go back and overthrow the government to restore your country? That's just asking to get yourselves killed.
Have you watched so many movies that you think all it takes to succeed is shouting 'Never give up!' with enough passion?
Come on, not everyone can suddenly power up just because they're a Jinchuriki, a Uchiha, or angry and worked up.
Your princess knows her limits. She knows she'd only be walking to her death if she went back. And even if she did overthrow the government, all she knows how to do is make movies. She doesn't understand economics or politics, and she wouldn't be able to develop the country."
Shirozumi's words left Sandayu extremely awkward.
Kakashi hurried to smooth things over. "It's all right, Mr. Sandayu. I'll help you... Hm?!"
Only halfway through his sentence did Kakashi realize what Shirozumi had just said.
Restore the country?
Wasn't this just an escort mission for a film shoot?
"He's right. He said everything I wanted to say!"
A woman's voice came from the doorway.
It was Fujikaze Yukie, who had been secretly listening from the shadows—or rather, Kazahana Koyuki, daughter of the previous Daimyo of the Land of Snow.
"Sandayu, give up. Stop clinging to false hopes. We're destined to fail."
Kazahana Koyuki looked utterly pessimistic.
"Actually, failure isn't inevitable. Kazahana Dōtō is draining the country's resources to develop the Chakra Armor because he wants to wage war. That's bound to be a threat to the other countries and their ninja villages.
The simplest way to eliminate that threat is to put a Daimyo with little ability or ambition on the throne.
Your men are useless, but you can rely on Konoha's strength. They'll be more than happy to help you."
Shirozumi changed his tune and offered an entirely different argument.
At this, hope flared in Sandayu's eyes again. He turned to Kakashi.
As a movie star famous throughout the Shinobi World, Kazahana Koyuki had no shortage of money. She didn't need to hide the mission's rank for money like Tazuna of the Land of Waves had.
"I'll have to ask Lord Hokage."
Kakashi's expression turned serious.
"Where's the prank? The prank?"
Naruto sat in a chair, waving his hands and clamoring.
He hadn't understood a word Shirozumi had said. All he could think about was how Shirozumi had told him they'd come here to prepare props for a prank.
"Naruto, be patient."
Shirozumi took two disposable cups and borrowed some water.
He took a sip, rinsed his mouth, and spat into the other, empty cup.
Then he handed the now-full cup to Naruto.
"What should I do with it?"
Naruto took the cup eagerly.
"Evenly splash the water inside into... the inside of something in your village."
Shirozumi whispered his instructions.
"Got it!"
As soon as Naruto heard the destination Shirozumi had mentioned, his eyes lit up even brighter.
Back when he'd splashed paint on Kage Rock, he'd run out of paint by the time he got to the Fourth Hokage. So he'd gone and fetched a bucket of sewage to use instead.
"What are you doing?"
Kakashi, who had been about to leave and report to the Third Hokage, stopped and looked at Shirozumi in confusion.
"Don't worry. It's a perfectly safe prank. Nobody's life is in danger. By the way, Kakashi, have you taken a dump today?"
"Huh?"
Kakashi was still completely baffled.
Why was he asking that?
Of course he had.
To prepare for the escort mission, he'd made sure to use a public restroom and empty his bowels, so he'd be in peak condition when they set out.
So why was Shirozumi asking?
Kakashi was full of questions.
Sasuke seemed indifferent to the prank, but he'd been paying close attention the whole time.
He wanted to know just how strong Shirozumi was. He looked only three or four years older than them, yet he could team up with Uchiha Itachi.
"Hey, big bro, I'm done!"
Naruto's voice reached them before he did.
"OK."
Shirozumi raised his right hand slightly and clenched his fist. "Crazy Diamond."
Crazy Diamond's ability activated!
At first, everything was quiet, as if nothing had happened.
But soon, cries of pain rang out all around them.
Kakashi's face changed as soon as he heard them.
Hadn't Shirozumi said nobody would be in danger, that it was only a prank?
Was that just a cover to deceive them?
Kakashi hurried out of the film crew's camp and looked around.
The horrifying sight would haunt him for the rest of his life.
What did "snowfall across the world" mean? What did "flying freely through your heart" mean?!
Countless unidentified objects chased after the villagers, burrowing into them from behind...
Kakashi suddenly felt a chill run down his spine.
This was a thousand times more terrifying than the Thousand Years of Death his father, the White Fang, had passed down to him!
What kind of wicked forbidden technique could cause something this horrifying?!
Wait!
Kakashi suddenly remembered the question Shirozumi had asked him.
Had he taken a dump?
Why had he asked that?
As Konoha's Copy Ninja and a celebrity throughout the Shinobi World, Kakashi's battle instincts and years of experience let him work out one possibility.
"Sharingan!"
Ignoring everything else, Kakashi lifted his Forehead Protector and revealed his Sharingan. Relying on its keen perception, he warily watched his surroundings.
He kept muttering, "Please don't let it be real," and "I must be wrong. I have to be wrong."
But before long, his Sharingan spotted something flying toward him.
Run!
Kakashi vanished with a Body Flicker and took off at full speed.
The thing behind him kept pace, chasing him through the air.
Crazy Diamond's ability was to repair anything.
One classic way to use it was to recall or pursue one part of an object by repairing it.
For example, if a photograph was torn in half and someone else took one half, you could use this method to track that person by repairing the photo.
And what Shirozumi had done was simple.
He'd had Naruto toss water bearing Shirozumi's chakra into the latrine.
Crazy Diamond's ability had taken hold of what was inside and started repairing it—in other words, chasing after it to find its other half.
And that other half was naturally inside everyone's intestines.
"Stop! Stop!!!!"
Kakashi sprinted through Konoha. As he watched the nameless object get closer and closer to his butt, tears welled in his eyes.
He regretted not running hundreds or thousands of laps around Konoha with Might Guy every day to train.
"Stop—Kamui!!!"
Driven to the brink, Kakashi suddenly thought of his newly awakened Mangekyo ability. At the last possible moment, he used Kamui on the object behind him.
Space warped, and the thing vanished.
Kakashi collapsed to the ground in relief, gasping for breath, grateful to have survived.
Elsewhere, a certain someone was still eating curry in Kamui Space. He had just taken off his mask and picked up his spoon when a lump of something suddenly plopped into his curry.
His face instantly darkened.
He angrily hurled the curry to the ground. "Kakashi!!!!"
Before you continue