Omniverse: The Invincible Me Just Wants to Slack Off

"Tian Jun," she said, tapping the table in irritation, "what are you doing?"

The vibration buzzed uselessly through the living room of Zha Huang Apartment.

Buzz—buzz—

The phone screen stubbornly glowed, the name "Young Miss" flashing on the caller ID.

In the steam-filled bathroom, only the sound of rushing water could be heard, along with faint, indistinct murmurs and whispers drowned out by the water.

The phone on the coffee table finally went dark.

[No answer.]

The ruins of Tokyo trembled under the night sky.

Wan's black hair whipped wildly, her eyes bloodshot. "You lied to me! Lord Sukuna is invincible!" Her ten fingers curved like claws, each swing tearing black cursed energy blades through the air, madly slashing at Satoru Gojo.

Gojo moved like a phantom, easily weaving through the dense barrage of slashes, that flippant smirk still on his lips. "Well, facts speak louder than words, Miss Wan~ Speaking of which, weren't you killed by your 'beloved' himself? Why are you still haunting my student's sister?"

He deliberately dragged out the word "beloved."

"Shut up!" Wan's face twisted with rage and obsession, her attacks growing more ferocious. "This one's love for Lord Sukuna transcends life and death! How could a mere ant like you understand?"

She clapped her hands together, and a black hairpin thick with cursed energy materialized, shooting toward Gojo's face with a piercing shriek!

"Whoa, dangerous, dangerous." Gojo exaggeratedly tilted his head; the hairpin grazed past his cheek, leaving a clean, tiny hole through the half-collapsed concrete pillar behind him. The pillar groaned, then crashed down in a cloud of dust.

Gojo's figure reappeared atop another broken wall, brushing non-existent dust off his clothes, his tone suddenly turning cold. "Can't understand, don't want to. But—"

He raised a hand, pointing at Wan, who occupied Tsumiki Fushiguro's body. His azure eyes locked onto the target, commanding, "Right now, get the hell out of someone else's sister's body!"

"Dream on!" Wan shrieked, forming hand seals. Black cursed patterns spread from her feet, staining the air like ink. "Domain Expansion: Triple Suffering!"

A pitch-black sphere condensed beside Wan.

Gojo snorted, one hand in his pocket, the other bending his ring and pinky fingers while raising his thumb and index, with his middle finger curled behind the index.

"Just what I wanted. Domain Expansion—"

"Infinite Void!"

Pure, extreme azure light instantly swallowed the overwhelming darkness.

Wan's body froze in place, her eyes staring blankly ahead.

The torrent of information from Infinite Void flooded her mind, each second like being stuffed with a millennium of junk data.

She couldn't move a muscle; even her cursed energy solidified.

Gojo strolled over to her, hands in pockets, ignoring her rigid body. Instead, he looked past Wan's shoulder and called out, "Hey, Nobara, your turn!"

Wan's fractured senses caught the danger, but she couldn't even move her eyes.

"Been waiting for that!" A sharp shout rang out! Nobara Kugisaki's figure had appeared behind Wan without warning, both hands gripping a hammer handle and a long nail gleaming with cold light, her eyes fierce as if ready to tear apart her prey.

"Give Fushiguro's sister—" Nobara roared, twisting her body to channel all her cursed energy into her arms, "back!!!"

The hammer head slammed into the nail's tail with a wind-splitting crack!

The nail pierced through the left shoulder of the body Wan occupied—Tsumiki's body!

Nobara's cursed energy, like countless thorny vines, burrowed deep into the tangled soul of Wan and this body through the wound!

"Gyah—!!!" Wan's soul let out a silent, agonized scream!

The body of Tsumiki she occupied trembled violently, spewing a thick gush of black blood uncontrollably from its mouth! The black blood hissed as it hit the ground, corroding the concrete.

The soul link was shaken and torn by Nobara's strike!

The instant Wan's soul convulsed and her control plummeted!

Gojo pulled his right hand from his pocket; black lightning, already condensed, coiled around it with a deadly hum! He drew back his right fist!

Boom—!!!

The compressed Black Flash punch, carrying immense force, slammed directly into Wan's occupied abdomen!

A dull, heart-stopping impact sound!

Wan's occupied body bent backward like a ragdoll into a horrifying arc, and a twisted, writhing black mass was forcibly expelled from Tsumiki's mouth by that punch.

"No—!!!" A piercing, shrill shriek erupted from the squirming black mass! It twisted desperately, lunging toward Tsumiki's limp, collapsed body.

"Where do you think you're going?" Gojo's voice dripped with mockery as his large hand calmly reached out and caught the wildly writhing black mass. "I'm not letting you have your way again."

The mass in his grip let out an inhuman screech, its surface rapidly expanding and contracting as it tried to break free.

Gojo's eyes sharpened, the muscles in his arm bulging as he held the mass, while his other fist was already wrapped in black lightning, buzzing with a grating sound!

He pulled his arm back, the compressed power distorting the air around his fist!

Boom—!!!

A second Black Flash struck the mass solidly!

Pure, extreme force pierced through! The mass convulsed violently, like a live fish hit by a high-voltage shock, twitching and spasming! Its surface instantly cracked like a spiderweb of black fissures!

"Gyaaaaa—!!!" A most wretched scream erupted from within, filled with endless resentment and venom!

The next second, the piercing scream cut off abruptly.

That twisted black mass of flesh, like ash burned to nothing, violently disintegrated under the erosion of Satoru Gojo's cursed energy!

It shattered into countless fine particles of black dust, then was torn apart and purified, leaving no trace behind, completely dissipating into the night wind.

Only Nobara Kugisaki's heavy breathing and the rustle of her clothes as she carefully caught Tsumiki's collapsing body remained.

"Whew..." Nobara wiped the sweat from her brow, looking at Tsumiki's pale but steadily breathing face in her arms, and grinned. "Got it!"

Satoru Gojo shook out the hand that had gripped the mass of flesh, as if flicking off a speck of dust, and curled his lips back into that cynical smirk. "Come on, let's take her to Shoko!"

Chapter 22: Kitagawa's Declaration

Morning light slanted through the gap in the curtains, casting warm bands across the floor of the Zha Huang Apartment. The air still carried the lingering scent of body wash and some ambiguous, mingled intimacy.

The phone on the coffee table vibrated tirelessly again, its buzz jarringly loud in the overly quiet morning.

Chen Tian closed his eyes, frowned, and slowly opened them.

The long, bare leg of Kitagawa Marin, still wrapped around his waist, unconsciously tightened, possessive even in sleep.

He carefully shifted the warm, smooth limb aside.

Marin lay on her side, golden hair scattered messily across the pillow, her cheeks still flushed with the rosy hue of deep sleep, lips slightly pouted, breathing even and long—clearly still lost in a sweet dream.

Chen Tian leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her warm cheek, the touch soft.

Barefoot, he stepped silently across the cool floor into the kitchen. The clean lines of his toned muscles were clearly visible in the morning light, a few shallow nail scratches trailing from his broad back down to his waist, a silent testament to the previous night's frenzy—starting from that afternoon when the scent of violets had invaded the bathroom a little past three, through sweat, gasps, entanglement, brief rests and refueling with water and food... until it finally stopped in the early hours.

He opened the fridge, and a blast of cold air hit him.

He pulled out a bottle of chilled mineral water, unscrewed the cap, and tilted his head back, downing half of it in one go.

The cold liquid slid down his throat, bringing a hint of clarity.

He set the bottle down and turned his gaze to the living room coffee table.

The black phone, which had just gone quiet, stubbornly lit up again.

Chen Tian walked over to the table and picked it up. The name "Young Miss" was still flashing on the screen.

He raised an eyebrow, pressed the answer button, and before he could speak, a girl's urgent voice came through. "Tian Jun? Tian Jun! Finally got through!"

"Young Miss, what's wrong?" Chen Tian chuckled.

The other end of the line let out an obvious sigh of relief, her tone instantly shifting from anxious to elegant. "Sorry for the intrusion. Things have been chaotic outside lately. I hope you're staying safe."

"Yeah, I know." Chen Tian leaned against the sofa.

"Where is Tian Jun right now?" The girl's voice carried a deliberate casualness.

"Mm, Zha Huang in North Road." Chen Tian pulled the phone away, swiping the screen to look at the hundreds of missed calls—notifications from "Young Miss," "Passerby A," and "Doujinshi Sister" densely packed the notification bar.

He brought the phone back to his ear, his voice laced with teasing. "Miss Shinomiya, you called almost a hundred times yesterday. You're not telling me it was just to ask that, are you?"

There was a sudden silence on the other end. After a few seconds, a light cough came through. "O-of course not! It's just... school's been going for a while... and I haven't been able to see you..."

A rustling sound came from the kitchen.

Marin walked out, rubbing her eyes, the hem of her loose T-shirt barely covering her thighs.

She drowsily shuffled over to Chen Tian's side, like a lazy cat, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"School's started, huh..." Chen Tian wrapped one arm around Marin's waist, feeling her warm breath brush against his collarbone. "Alright, I'll be back at school next week."

"Mm, I look forward to seeing Tian Jun again."

"Okay, see you then." Chen Tian replied, just as Marin began nuzzling his earlobe with the tip of her nose. "Marin's awake."

A sharp clink of porcelain came from the other end of the line. "Wait! That blonde girl—"

Beep. The call ended tone echoed through the Kyoto Ancient Mansion.

The red-eyed girl stared at the darkened screen, her delicate face twisted with anger.

Back in the Zha Huang Apartment, Marin was clinging to Chen Tian's back like a koala, her voice thick with just-woken-up sleepiness. "Who was that~ so early..."

Chen Tian reached back, hooked his hands under her thighs, and easily swung her around to the front. The girl giggled, her bare calves swinging in the air, the morning light gilding her eyelashes.

"Shinomiya Kaguya." Chen Tian said casually.

The laughter stopped dead. Marin's eyes went wide, and she immediately wrapped both arms tightly around Chen Tian's neck. "That Young Miss?! She still hasn't given up?!"

Chen Tian ruffled her messy golden hair and set her down on the sofa. "Jealous?"

"Not at all!" Marin puffed out her cheeks like an angry cat.

She stepped barefoot onto the sofa cushion, pointing down at him from her height advantage. "I want baozi! Right now!"

Chen Tian turned and walked toward the kitchen.

As the fridge door opened and closed, Marin knelt on the sofa, staring at the phone screen on the coffee table, which had lit up again. "Damn it..." she muttered, wrinkling her nose, her fingers unconsciously touching her own cheek.

The dull thud of dough being slapped around came from the kitchen.

Marin craned her neck to peek—Chen Tian had his back to her, the muscles of his shoulders and back flexing with the kneading motion, the few scratch marks she'd left on him last night starkly visible in the morning light.

Her ears suddenly turned red, and she grabbed a throw pillow, burying her face in it.

"Add shrimp?" Chen Tian asked without turning his head.

"Double portion!" A muffled voice came from behind the pillow.

As the pan sizzled, Kitagawa Marin slipped barefoot into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around Chen Tian's waist from behind.

She pressed against his sweat-dampened back and heard a low chuckle from his chest: "Not mad anymore?"

"I wasn't mad in the first place." She rubbed her cheek against Chen Tian's back, then suddenly bit down on his shoulder blade. "...Liar."

Chen Tian turned off the stove and spun around, pinching her chin with flour-dusted fingers. "Are you a puppy?"

"Woof!" Kitagawa deliberately bared her teeth, but the moment she saw the plump buns in the steamer, she broke character. "Wow!" She reached out to grab one, but Chen Tian slapped her hand away. "Hot."

At the table, Kitagawa chewed with puffed cheeks, then mumbled indistinctly, "Are we going back to school next week?"

"Yeah. This concert's over, so it's time to check back in."

"That Young Miss will be there too, right?"

Chen Tian pushed the soy milk toward her. "Definitely."

Kitagawa downed half the glass in one gulp, white foam still clinging to the corner of her mouth. "I'm coming with you!" She kicked her dangling legs. "I'll make sure the whole school knows—" Suddenly she lunged at Chen Tian, "—that you're mine!"

Chen Tian laughed and caught the pouncing Kitagawa. "Don't they already know? You confessed in front of the whole school back then."

Instead of blushing, Kitagawa lifted her chin smugly. "Hehe~ Who told the other girls to only sneak glances and never make a move? See? Now you're mine, aren't you?" She sat on his lap, swinging her bare legs.

"Yeah, I'm yours." Chen Tian pinched her puffed cheek.

Kitagawa suddenly started counting on her fingers. "The Young Miss, the tsundere blonde, that mysterious background girl, and the one who gave you books..."

The more she counted, the tighter her brow furrowed. "Ah!" She ruffled her messy blonde hair in frustration. "So many rivals!"

But the next second, she bounced back, raising a small fist high and declaring with full energy, "Bring it on! Watch me, Kitagawa Marin, defeat them all!"

Chen Tian steadied her wobbling body with one hand and stuffed the last half of the bun into her mouth with the other. "Defeat your breakfast first."