Chapter 84

"Pulled my trigger now he's dead"

[The trigger was pulled, the gun fired, and the man died.]

"Mama, life had just begun"

[Mom, life is just beginning!]

"But now I've gone and thrown it all away"

[But now I've gone far away and left it all behind]

Chu Wangshu stood in the record store, seemingly drawn in by the music, or perhaps lost in thought. She glanced at her WeChat balance, checked her budget, hesitated, and muttered to herself:

"I remember we had a record player at home. Dad... he probably liked those kinds of things, right?"

Thinking about it carefully, she realized that all these years, she had never known Chu Yuanqing's preferences.

From as far back as he can remember, Chu Yuanqing has never had a life of his own.

He worked to support her, and sometimes resigned and sometimes was fired to take care of her, with almost no time to catch his breath. Even the little free time he had was used to find joy amidst hardship.

Unless it was for necessary social engagements, Dad never smelled of cigarettes or alcohol. He was self-disciplined, taciturn, and strong, with his back always upright. Even though he lost his former gentleness with the passing years and began to become numb and even cold, he never brought negative emotions home.

Chu Wangshu pursed her lips and tugged at the hem of her skirt.

Since they had agreed to meet an hour later, she went back to the base first to change into more conservative casual clothes.

Children at this age are like that; they always want to appear more mature in front of their parents.

This is especially true for sensible children from single-parent families.

Chu Wangshu recalled the past with some regret. She felt that she should have been more understanding of her Dad. She had witnessed firsthand how the once handsome, weathered, and youthful man had gradually transformed into the lifeless figure he was today.

Even though her Dad has had a thousand faults in recent years, she still has to patiently communicate with him.

Sigh, Dad must be working really hard lately, right?

As Chu Wangshu walked into the record store, a mournful wail echoed from the middle of a song playing on the record player, making her already somewhat emo mood even more depressed.

--Bismillah.

This is an Islamic prayer, which roughly translates to "I swear in the name of God."

Chu Wangshu rallied her spirits and silently recited Bismillah in her heart. She also swore in the name of Allah that, at least during today's meeting, she absolutely, positively would not throw a tantrum or cause any trouble with her Dad.

Five minutes later,

The girl walked out confidently, carrying a gift bag. She had chosen "Night in the Spanish Garden," a piece featuring piano and symphony orchestra in a classic impressionistic style, full of romance.

I believe that if I give these to my Dad and let him listen to them more often, he will gradually discover the beauty in life by being influenced by music.

Chu Wangshu was an excellent student. In her opinion, many people find life boring and dull because they lack aesthetic appreciation and are unable to discover the beauty in life.

For example, the same color blue can be either the foreign Klein Blue, or it can be interpreted as the Moon White of the Great Xia dynasty.

For example, the same beautiful scenery.

A cultured person might picture a scene of lotus leaves and silk skirts cut from the same fabric, with hibiscus blossoms opening on either side of the face.

Those with little education can only mumble "Aba aba," thinking the lotus leaves are quite large and the hibiscus flowers are quite beautiful.

And this kind of enjoyment in the details is the key to cultivating passion for life.

Chu Wangshu felt that her Dad really needed it.

Well, at least this method is better than making him find a stepmother!

That being said...

When Chu Wangshu, following the navigation and carrying a gift bag, arrived at the coffee shop with wind chimes swaying in front of it, she felt a little timid. She murmured uncertainly:

"Would it be a mistake to give this as a gift when we first meet?"

"What if Dad says the record player at home is broken? Do I need to buy a new one?"

Chu Wangshu shook her head, dismissing the thought. She walked into the coffee shop, sat in a sunlit seat facing the floor-to-ceiling windows, opened the menu, glanced at it a few times, and then put it aside to wait.

This restaurant is peculiar. The decor is sophisticated, and the layout is meticulously designed, but there are only a few seats to choose from, leaving a large visual space for relaxation.

The barista at the far counter was a meticulously groomed, silver-haired foreign man in his fifties or sixties. His upright posture and silent polishing of silver cups made him look more like a wealthy man's butler, lending the shop a mysterious air.

Suddenly, a violent sound, as if the bed was trembling, came from upstairs, making her frown and feel inexplicably irritated.

Isn't this coffee shop Dad chose a little strange?

Chu Wangshu glanced at her watch; it was already five minutes past the agreed time.

The young girl took a deep breath. She felt a little strange. Was it because it was too hot in the summer? Or was the air conditioning in the coffee shop too cold? The agreed time was about an hour, and arriving within 65 minutes was not considered late.

But I'm inexplicably unhappy.

Chu Wangshu calmed herself down, smiled, took another deep breath, and said:

"Don't be angry, don't be angry."

Well, I swear by Allah, no, by the name of God Buddha Three Pure Ones, she will absolutely not be angry today!

On the other side, upstairs in the bedroom.

After saying that, Chu Yuanqing coughed violently.

Her delicate brows furrowed slightly, yet she seemed like an empty shell, unable to cough up much blood. Her porcelain-like skin appeared sickly pale, as if she would turn into bubbles and shatter into pieces at any moment, returning to the sea of people.

Upon witnessing this scene, Tang Liuli's thoughts froze for a moment. A sliver of rationality revived under the intense stimulation, and question after question transformed into a heavy hammer, gradually breaking down the shackles and curses imposed by "motherly love."

What am I doing?

Didn't I notice she was coughing up blood?

The bathroom floor was covered in blood from her coughing; how much pain must she have been in?

Chu Yuanqing is so good to me; no one in the world could treat me better than her.

Such unconditional love, born solely of pity, kindness, and gentleness, will no longer be given to me.

But I only cared about myself. Like my mother and Dad, I was selfish, despicable, disgusting, and tainted with madness. I shouldn't have lived.

The girl's eyes were filled with crimson, a powerful mix of regret, sorrow, despair, self-loathing, self-destruction, and even an all-consuming rage, which transformed into a raging inferno. With her own emotions, she forcefully pushed open the door to [Flow State].

This moment comes after six years.

No, it's been seventeen years.

For the first time since birth, Tang Liuli entered the realm of "Flow State" through her own emotions. A spiraling vortex stirred in the depths of her emerald eyes, and a mysterious spiritual stance finally enabled her to access her mother's "gift."

In the next instant, all the chaotic control, suggestion, and guidance were reduced to ashes.

Tang Liuli was finally free; she had never felt so free before.

From the time she was constantly controlled before the age of 11, to the six years after she turned 11 when her mother gave her a gift on her deathbed, she was bound and tormented, and never once did she truly live for herself.

Ironically,

When she was finally free and able to live for herself, all she could think about was... quickly embracing death.

P. S.: Mom's angry! No more questioning the quality of my Qing Bao's "dominant" persona! She doesn't even need to do anything to easily win everyone's hearts, isn't that enough? Isn't that enough?

P. S.: Requesting monthly votes, and I'm also asking for your wrath!

Volume 1: Chapter 93. Punishment, Father and Daughter Meet, Reconciliation. (7K)

Tang Liuli stumbled off the bed. After burning away the filth with [Flow State], she finally returned to normal and became the timid and gloomy socially anxious girl she always was.

At this moment, all of Tang Liuli's previous train-like behavior and words were transformed and abstracted in her mind, turning into monsters that wantonly trampled and destroyed in her spiritual world, mercilessly killing all of them— Tang Liuli who was playing video games, watching cartoons, sleeping soundly, and drinking sugary drinks.

--I want to die, I'm so ashamed, I want to die, I'm so ashamed, I want to die, I'm so ashamed.

Even without guilt towards Chu Yuanqing or extreme self-loathing, this was a torture experience for someone with social anxiety, akin to being torn apart by five horses, their self-esteem and soul being repeatedly crushed, enough to make them choose to end their life immediately.

Now, with these three factors combined, the urge to leave this wonderful world has galloped through my chaotic mind, continuing its rapid ascent and surpassing its peak.

Tang Liuli staggered to the desk. Without thinking, and not daring to think any further, her small hand trembled as she gripped the ballpoint pen in the pen holder, ready to thrust it back at her throat.

But the next moment, a cold and angry rebuke echoed in the room:

"Tang Liuli!!!"

Tang Liuli was immediately transported back to the days when she was angrily reprimanded by the film crew director, when her mother slapped her hand with a ruler, and when her homeroom teacher questioned her about why she hadn't done her homework. Her expression was timid, her body trembled with fear, and she slid to her knees in utter embarrassment, her mind completely blank.

--How scary, how scary, how scary! Qing... Qing Mom is so scary when she's angry!

Chu Yuanqing wiped the blood from her lips. Her expression was calm, but her once kind and gentle golden eyes now seemed to be filled with magma, devouring all gentleness and leaving only a raging rage.

In that instant, the Witch's charm, which was centered on the Human Radiance and concealed a noble divinity, also withdrew all compassion and radiance due to the intense emotional turmoil of her master.

Divine power is like a prison, divine power is like the sea.

That alluring radiance, more seductive than that of a succubus, had completely transformed into a terrifying force that oppressed the spirit.

Chu Yuanqing was indeed angry. She was very gentle and easy to talk to, but that didn't mean she had no bottom line.

If the previous attempts to get a kiss and being pinned down on the bed were merely childish pranks, then this suicide attempt undoubtedly elevates the issue to another level.

Chu Yuanqing does not deny that some people choose suicide. Among the comrades she knows, 60% sacrificed themselves in the fight against the Disaster Tide and the Disaster God, while the remaining 40% chose suicide.

Among them, some lost loved ones, some became disabled and didn't want to burden others, some had had enough of the constant wandering and wanted to die in their homeland, some despaired of this era because of the Disaster God, and some suffered mental breakdowns to the point of complete madness...

This was the helplessness under the backdrop of a great era. At that time, choosing to live and continue to fight meant facing far more fear and despair than simply choosing death.

Chu Yuanqing did not believe that only in that kind of historical context could one choose the path of suicide. The suffering in the world is always strange and varied, and perhaps for some people, suicide is not a childish or impulsive decision.

But in her eyes, Tang Liuli was now nothing more than a child's play.

Because she is still a child, her emotions are changeable and complex, her personality is immature and naive, and her choices are impulsive and irrational.

What she needs now is not pampering, but a truly serious education.

Chu Yuanqing walked up to the Green Eyed Cat, tossed the blouse onto its head, and casually snatched the ballpoint pen from its hand, tossing it onto the nearby table. Unlike her usual gentle and affectionate demeanor, she asked with a distant and calm air:

"Tang Liuli, put your clothes on first, and then tell me properly why you want to die?"

Tang Liuli was terrified.

It's said online that the gentler and more honest a person is, the more terrifying they can be when they get angry.

That's how it is now. The warmth of the maternal love she had received from him in the past is matched by the immense anger and disappointment she feels now. It's like the ley lines of Stellar Core bursting with rose-like patterns—suffocating, scorching, terrifying, and awe-inspiring.

At this moment, the Green Eyed Cat who enjoys stealing maternal love and committing "female-on-mother offenses" is severely punished.

Tang Liuli curled up and trembled, her expression chaotic, almost abstracting into blocks of color, as if she wanted to escape this world immediately.

But because she was so terrified, she dared not pretend to be dead or deaf. She could only tremble as she burrowed her head under her blouse, then fiddled with her bangs to cover her eyes, like a timid little cat too cowardly to even bristle. She lay prostrate on the ground, muttering frantic apologies.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm a maggot, I'm a liar, I'm a pervert. I should have died 76 million years ago, like an ancient shrew."

"I didn't even consider the trouble my death here would cause Xiao Qing. I'm stupider than a paramecium. Please forgive me. I'll do anything. I'll wear a maid outfit, dance suggestive dances, bark like a dog, and lick your shoes. As long as you're not angry, I'll do anything."

Chu Yuanqing let Tang Liuli continue her rambling. She had already seen through the other person's problem and realized that simple gentleness was meaningless to her at this moment.

Rather, part of the reason Tang Liuli wanted to die was because she felt that her actions had hurt her.

From God's perspective, aside from the fact that the other party didn't gain anything from the kiss, even the kiss itself, due to triggering the Magic Replenishment mechanism, greatly alleviated the aftereffects of the curse's rampage and magic rejection.

Even Chu Yuanqing himself didn't feel like he'd been taken advantage of; in a subjective sense, he'd gained a lot.

The problem is that Tang Liuli is unaware of these details, and being gentle with her will only amplify her guilt and have the opposite effect.

Therefore, she needed to undergo a rigorous, demanding, and even cruel education.

Chu Yuanqing took out her phone. Her daughter Sunflower's profile picture on the screen flickered slightly, indicating that she had sent several messages, including a selfie of herself sitting in a coffee shop.

Chu Yuanqing first replied to his daughter's message, saying that he had driven to the vicinity of Zhelong Town and was on his way on foot, arriving in five minutes. Only then did he glance at the Green Eyed Cat and ask in a calm tone:

"As long as I'm not angry, you'll do whatever I say, right?"

"Even if something is unreasonable, illogical, violates your personal principles, tramples on your personal dignity, or contravenes your right to life as a citizen, would you still obey?"

Tang Liuli nodded vigorously; she didn't even dare to call the current Chu Yuanqing "Qing Bao" anymore.