Receiving the Register

Li Fan was fucking speechless. He went out for one lap and tore down someone's menu. Was there something wrong with him?

What was even more ridiculous was that after venting its sword intent, it played dead. The system played dumb too, leaving Li Fan alone to take the fall.

Luckily, the cultivators who came to eat were all chauffeured straight to the top floor, while the people lining up at the entrance were ordinary folk. And Li Fan was still wearing the Unknown Face. In that brief instant, no one reacted, and he actually managed to stash the stolen goods he had torn down into his jade pendant, then slip out through Ke Shan Zhai's side door with his back hunched.

But the moment he returned to the firm, he was caught red-handed.

"Eh! Qingyue, what happened to you? Did you fall into a ditch? Sigh, why are you so naughty? Children really are hard to raise..." Fuling was helpless. She conjured a lotus pod in her hand and sprinkled it over Li Fan. Fine rain immediately fell, a gentle breeze curled through the air, and the two washed over his body, rinsing away the stench of ink and leaving behind a faint lotus fragrance.

"Stay by my side. Don't wander around. I'll be done with the important business shortly."

That suited Li Fan just fine. He immediately followed behind Fuling obediently, watching her check accounts and inspect goods. Before long, the street across from them gradually grew loud and chaotic. Cultivators occasionally flew past overhead, rainbow light and escape light filling the sky amid clouds and radiant flashes as they descended toward Ke Shan Zhai. The theft had probably been discovered...

Li Fan stared at his nose, his nose at his mouth, and his mouth at his heart, pretending to be dead. He acted like an innocent little boy who knew absolutely nothing about any fucking thing.

"What's happening next door? Why is there such a commotion?" Even Fuling was alarmed.

"Reporting to the fairy, Mei's Banquet Picture at Ke Shan Zhai's entrance was stolen. They're asking people to assist with the investigation," said the manager of Jiang's Firm, who had gone to watch the excitement and returned.

Fuling frowned. "Huh? Which lunatic would steal a menu..."

Li Fan nodded repeatedly. "Exactly, exactly. It's just a menu. Couldn't they draw another one? What's the big fuss?"

"That is not quite the case. I know that Mei's Banquet Picture. It is no ordinary object, but a 'thing' formed when the master of Ke Shan Zhai sealed his wife, Mei, within it."

Fuling noticed Li Fan's utterly baffled expression and explained further.

"This is how we cultivators of the Immortal Dao are. If one fails to break through to the Golden Core, one's Dao body may collapse, one may suffer the Five Declines of Heaven and Man, or one may go into deviation and become possessed. If one has no opportunity to disintegrate and rebuild oneself, yet does not wish to turn to ash and perish completely, then one can only choose to transfer one's soul into an incarnation. Thus, the master of Ke Shan Zhai stored Madam Mei within the painting, suppressing her nightmare and turning her into a 'thing.'

"That Banquet Picture is both the barrier binding Madam Mei's Devil Form and the dwelling through which she takes shape. It can be considered half a 'thing' transformed from a cultivator.

"But it is truly strange. Madam Mei's talent was insufficient, and the Banquet Picture had been sealed away for a hundred years. Its 'thing' form could not even manifest. Hanging it at the entrance only drew customers, and there had never been any sign of a reaction. Few people even knew it was a 'thing' rather than a painting. Who exactly stole it..."

Li Fan pretended to be curious. "Then the master of Ke Shan Zhai must be very formidable, if he could turn his wife into a thing?"

"Formidable? Not really. This couple are both independent cultivators attached to Ink Bamboo Mountain. Seeing his wife fail her breakthrough gave the master of Ke Shan Zhai a knot in his heart as well, and he has lingered at the Golden Core threshold for many years. Still, his cooking is peerless, even I must admit I cannot compare. Many cultivators from Ink Bamboo Mountain's Outer Sect and nearby independent cultivators are on good terms with him. The painting Madam Mei resides in was also commissioned from Ink Bamboo Mountain."

Quite a wide network of connections. Fine, then. These stolen goods would have to stay hidden for a while.

After Fuling finished handling matters there, she took Li Fan aboard the boat and carefully cleaned him up again. Only then did she take control of the light skiff and descend beside the Outer Sect Dao Pagoda, which stood thirty zhang tall.

This area was basically all cultivators. Aside from Ink Bamboo Mountain Outer Sect Disciples in black and brown robes, there were independent cultivators dressed in all manner of gaudy styles. Most were Qi Refining Stage disciples, and there were quite a few at Foundation Establishment as well. But cultivators like Fuling, standing at the threshold of the Golden Core, were few indeed. Still, seeing several of them at the Outer Sect's main headquarters was no small number.

Li Fan looked up at the plaque reading Ink Bamboo Mountain Lou Guan Dao atop the towering pagoda, then followed Fuling into the front hall.

Three statues of divine immortals stood in the front hall, arranged like the Three Pure Ones, though their appearances were completely different. In the center was an Immortal Emperor looking down upon the world; on the left stood a delicate, plain-faced fairy; and on the right was, surprisingly, a green-faced demon with protruding fangs.

Fuling introduced them. "These three are Immortal Venerables who attained the Dao and ascended in this realm: the Profound Maiden, the Divine Lord, and the God Lord. They are the revered masters who opened the path of Taiji Xian Dao cultivation for our generation, and they are also the founding ancestors of the three great sects: the Immortal Palace, the Xuan Sect God Sect, and the Divine Sect.

"The three great sects once denounced one another as demonic paths, fighting and killing without end. Naturally, each worships its own. Us unaffiliated independent cultivators cannot afford to offend any of them, so we must pay respects to all three. Go offer three sticks of incense."

Li Fan followed her instructions, took three incense sticks, and was about to kneel.

Profound Heaven Sword Intent says, screw those two bitches. Worship the Profound Maiden.

Li Fan, "..."

Hey, Sword Intent, don't push it too far.

Profound Heaven Sword Intent indicates that if the host worships the Profound Maiden, it will teach you the secret teachings of the Beichen Sword Sect, so you may become the sword patriarch who revives the Xuan Sect, slaughter gods and demons, and prove the Dao.

Well, you should have said so earlier.

Li Fan promptly turned around, bowed three times to the Profound Maiden, and planted all three incense sticks before her.

Fuling was dumbfounded. "What nonsense are you up to now?"

Li Fan smiled foolishly. "It's because this immortal sister is pretty."

Fuling rubbed her forehead with a bitter smile and hurriedly pulled him farther inside. "Don't say things like that after leaving the mountain. You'll offend people for no reason."

Of course Li Fan knew that, but offending people was a problem for the future. If he offended the Profound Heaven Sword Intent, who knew what other nonsense it would pull?

He had truly gotten a handle on the temperament of sword immortals. At the slightest disagreement, it was fuck your mother, bring me my sword! If the wine tasted wrong, it was fuck your mother, bring me my sword! If he did not worship the Profound Maiden, it was fuck your ancestors, bring me my sword!

They really were all lunatics. No wonder their sect had been wiped out...

Fortunately, once he worshipped the Profound Maiden, the Profound Heaven Sword Intent stopped making trouble. He had never imagined that even a random prize from the system could have such personality... Oh, right, the system could still draw prizes, couldn't it?

The lottery system requires twelve shichen of cooldown.

Fuck, it really had copied every trashy pay-to-win online game mechanic...

With two useless cheat devices attached to him, Li Fan had no choice but to follow behind Fuling as she led him through the halls and pavilions of the Dao Pagoda to get his documents processed.

Yes, actual documents. What he received was the Dao credential and ritual register issued by Ink Bamboo Mountain, basically the equivalent of a cultivator's diploma and identification.

Although Ink Bamboo Mountain was a backwater sect, the Three Great Sects recognized these documents. At the very least, they showed that a respectable orthodox sect acknowledged one's autonomous authority in this mountain valley. When traveling the world, one would not be slighted as some wandering cultivator or wild sorcerer. With this credential, one could even enter another sect's Mountain Gate or cave abode directly to eat and stay.

The independent cultivators attached to Ink Bamboo Mountain and the Outer Sect Disciples probably offered tribute for this very certificate. After all, there truly were not many sects recognized by all Three Great Sects and permitted to travel the world freely.

But Li Fan was not one of those Outer Sect disciples who paid for nominal enrollment. A Dao seed with monstrous talent like him had been personally selected by the Mountain Lord, registered under a Nascent Soul Stage True Person, and personally brought here by an attendant maid. Naturally, he received special treatment.

Thus, from the start, he became a proper Inner Sect disciple receiving transmission within the mountain. He directly received the register and scriptures. A Golden Core master stationed in the Dao Pagoda inscribed and wrote them out, and at last Li Fan received a Black-Jade Tablet. It was strung together with the Twin-Fish Jade Pendant at his waist. It was also a storage space, though it could probably only be opened by Ink Bamboo Mountain disciples.

There was also a small booklet titled Ink Bamboo Mountain Lou Guan Dao Transmission and Register Bestowal Manual. It was a genuine Daoist scripture and ritual credential. Even holding it in his hands, he could feel spiritual qi overflowing from it, while sandalwood incense filled his nose. When he opened it, vermilion ink covered gold-flecked paper, bearing official proclamations, sect rules and commandments, seals, and stamped emblems.

In other words, from this day onward, Li Qingyue was a disciple of Ink Bamboo Mountain Lou Guan Dao who had received the Dao.

"The monthly stipend for an Inner Sect transmission disciple is two thousand coins. Not gold, but Divine Astral Coins. It should be enough for everyday necessities. On the path of the Great Dao, do not pursue worldly possessions too much."

Li Fan looked at Fuling beside him, decked in gold and jade. He understood the principle, but hearing it from her was not particularly convincing...

Fuling noticed his gaze and flicked Li Fan's forehead. "Pay attention. If you cultivate the Postnatal Immortal Dao and seek only wealth and glory for one lifetime, no one will care if you take a cultivation partner for dual cultivation, marry and have children, or even establish a nation and build a legacy in the Human Dao.

"But if you seek the Great Dao, remember to conduct yourself with restraint. Do not become too vain or greedy for glory. Once an obsession takes root, it is easy to fall into demonic deviation."

Li Fan chuckled as he put the credential and coins he had received into his storage jade tablet. "Thank you for the reminder, Sister Fuling. Qingyue understands. I was just looking at you because you're pretty, so I looked a few extra times."

"Smooth talker." Fuling pinched Li Fan's cheek irritably. "Don't worry. If your monthly stipend is not enough, you can take assignments from the Mountain Gate. I'll ask around and find you a good job. Go sit in that pavilion first and drink some Five Immortals Soup."

"Five Immortals Soup?" Li Fan looked over and saw that the pavilion seemed to be the cafeteria of Ink Bamboo Mountain's Outer Sect. Many Qi Refining Stage disciples and independent cultivators were coming and going. It appeared that Inner Sect disciples in black robes could enter freely, while Outer Sect Disciples in brown robes had to hand over black bamboo tokens one by one. Independent cultivators unaffiliated with the sect had to pay money in addition to the bamboo tokens.

Fuling could not help rolling her eyes. "Five Immortals Spiritual Qi Nourishing Soup. Who cultivates the Immortal Dao as quickly as you? Besides breathing exercises and qi refinement, you must take pills. But at the Qi Refining Stage, the internal organs are still those of ordinary people. They cannot digest proper Dao pills, and their meridians cannot withstand them either. So they can only first drink qi-nourishing soup boiled from medicinal herbs to warm the stomach. It does not taste very good. Treat it as medicine for cultivation and force down a bowl."

What do you mean, as quickly as me! Do I even need tonic soup? Once I grow a little bigger, let's compete. I'll make sure I last so long you can't get out of bed!

Li Fan grumbled inwardly, but still nodded obediently and followed several cultivators into the cafeteria.

The Outer Sect Disciple at the entrance saw Li Fan's Daoist robe covering his face and the black jade tablet hanging from his waist. He knew Li Fan was an Inner Sect disciple and naturally did not stop him. He even handed him a jade bowl and pointed to a huge cauldron in the hall that was bubbling and steaming, signaling for him to line up.

The cafeteria truly looked nothing like what Li Fan had imagined. Every cultivator held a bowl as they lined up at the cauldron for soup, then sat on mats around the cauldron. They held their bowls and sat down in meditation, lightly sipped a mouthful, immediately furrowed their brows, and swallowed while regulating their breath. Every one of them wore a mask of agony, drinking as if they were taking poison. They really were here to cultivate. No wonder Ke Shan Zhai's food was so mediocre and yet still packed. Whether it was curry or shit, you had to taste both before comparing them!

Soon it was Li Fan's turn to fill a bowl. Beside the furnace cauldron was some kind of mechanical device. From top to bottom, the bronze cauldron bore five carved heads: Bifang, a toad, a Coiled Dragon, a Black Tortoise, and Suanni. One after another, they opened their mouths and sprayed out streams of immortal spring water. That was probably the so-called Five Immortals nourishment.

But by the time the mixed soup reached Li Fan's bowl, it had become thick and ink-green. It smelled strongly of strange medicinal herbs. It did not look easy to swallow.

Li Fan's mood increased by 1 point.

What the... What the hell? System, are you broken?

Profound Heaven Sword Intent indicates that this is acceptable. The system also indicates agreement.

Li Fan indicated that he knew the Five Immortals Soup was acceptable, all right! Bitter medicine was good for the body, but it was not the two of them drinking it!

Still, there was no helping it. Cultivation meant enduring hardship. Only after suffering the greatest hardship could one rise above others. Besides, so many people around him were suffering alongside him, and his two cheats had both given it their approval. There was nothing to worry about.

Li Fan found a cushion, sat down, adjusted his breathing, steeled himself, and took a small sip...

Mm...

...Mm?

He smacked his lips. That taste... was rather subtle... Another sip...

He gulped down a huge mouthful, and Li Fan felt as if he had swallowed a ball of blazing fire. It dropped through his stomach into his Qi Sea, then exploded, igniting the tiny vortex within his inner landscape. The intense vortex surged through his meridians. The speed of his circulating true qi increased more than tenfold. What had previously been a brook moving at the rhythm of walking and breathing now became a rushing river. Every meridian and qi aperture in his body gave off waves of warmth, and he felt as though he had endless strength.

Li Fan's mood greatly increased by 1 point.

"Ohhh~~~" Li Fan could not help moaning. It felt so good, so refreshing—and it was delicious!

The sensation coming back from his taste buds was hard to describe. It was clearly just thick, warm soup, and its smell was full of medicinal herbs, yet as the elixir flowed across his tongue, it felt like silky lubricant, gently wrapping his taste buds and sweetly licking across his lips and teeth, like a lover's wet deep-throated kiss... Wonderful. Wonderful, wonderfully indescribable...

Li Fan gulped down the entire bowl of Five Immortals Soup. Then he noticed that the brown-robed disciples around him were staring at him with raised brows, and some had even spilled their own soup.

Li Fan did not bother lowering himself to their level. They did not understand anything. He smacked his lips, still wanting more... Another bowl!

Gulp, gulp, gulp!

Another bowl!

Another bowl!

Another bowl!

Anoth—

"Hey, hey, hey, hey! Whose boy are you? Didn't your elders tell you? Five Immortals Soup, Five Immortals Soup—five bowls a day to ascend as an immortal! Are you rushing to ascend right now?!" Li Fan was trying to cut back into the line for another bowl when an old man grabbed him by the collar and hauled him back.

The cultivators watching in the cafeteria began discussing among themselves. Ink Bamboo Mountain truly did produce freakish talents. Someone could actually drink five consecutive bowls of this foul-smelling stuff...

"I—burp!" Li Fan hiccupped out a bubble. He was stuffed full...

The old man took Li Fan's wrist and checked his pulse, frowning. "Hiss... Your qi vortex is spinning this fast! You foolish brat, don't die on my turf. You're only causing trouble for me... Come, I'll help you cool off!"

Without waiting for Li Fan to respond, he carried him out of the dining hall, stomped the ground, and soared into the sky. With a whoosh, he transformed into a long rainbow and streaked across the heavens.