After Yu Xiaolong enrolled at Shrek Academy, Tang San found himself in an incredibly awkward position. Yu Xiaogang was his teacher, and Yu Xiaolong was his teacher's half-brother, so now Tang San had to call Yu Xiaolong "Uncle." How could the Great God King Tang bring himself to say that?
On top of that, Yu Xiaolong hadn't existed in the original story, which made Tang San feel very uneasy. He was worried that this would introduce more variables.
But Yu Xiaolong had a simple solution: "You can call Yu Xiaogang 'teacher,' and I'll call you 'Brother Three.' We'll each go by our own rules."
Even though Tang San wasn't happy about it, he couldn't very well say anything.
And thanks to his exceptional talent for being a suck-up, Yu Xiaolong managed to fit right in with the Shrek Seven Devils.
With Tang San, he spent all day praising the Clear Sky Sect, badmouthing Spirit Hall, and desperately complimenting Tang San's Hidden Weapons.
Tang San, however, was completely unmoved.
With Oscar, a poor guy, Yu Xiaolong simply threw money at him. He bought up all of Oscar's sausages every day, whether he could eat them or not. Oscar had already started treating Yu Xiaolong like a god.
With Ning Rongrong, a spoiled, pampered young lady who did whatever she pleased, Yu Xiaolong just went along with everything she said. If Ning Rongrong said east, he wouldn't dare go west. If she said to beat a dog, he wouldn't dare catch a chicken. Even when Ning Rongrong farted, Yu Xiaolong would say, "Wow, that smells amazing."
Ning Rongrong's response was that this was just how suck-ups behaved.
With Zhu Zhuqing, an aloof beauty who longed for power, Yu Xiaolong cleverly showed off his talent and strength.
Although Zhu Zhuqing admired Yu Xiaolong's talent and strength, she looked down on his sucking-up behavior.
With Dai Mubai and Ma Hongjun, things were simplest. There was no bond stronger than having fought side by side, studied together, or gone to the brothels together.
As for Xiao Wu, he called her "Sister Xiao Wu" this and "Sister Xiao Wu" that all day long, following right on her heels like a little shadow. He even bought her carrots from time to time.
Xiao Wu was quite pleased with this.
Seeing Yu Xiaolong cling to Xiao Wu all day nearly made Tang San explode with rage. He'd told Xiao Wu more than once to stay away from Yu Xiaolong, but she'd agree to his face, then turn around and go play with Yu Xiaolong anyway.
Yu Xiaolong, how dare you covet my Xiao Wu? You've got a death wish.
After the Shrek Seven Devils and Yu Xiaolong had all successfully enrolled, Flender, the dean, began his speech:
"Congratulations on passing Shrek Academy's entrance exam and officially becoming students of Shrek Academy."
"Our Shrek Academy has a wealth of talented teachers and a long history. You should consider it an honor to be part of our academy."
"While studying at Shrek Academy, don't think you can slack off or cut corners. Otherwise, you may not meet the graduation requirements."
"Dean, what are the graduation requirements at Shrek Academy?" Yu Xiaolong asked, shrewdly giving Flender a chance to show off.
"Good question. To graduate from Shrek Academy, you have to reach level forty before the age of twenty."
Hearing Flender's graduation requirements, Tang San thought, Anyone could do that.
Ning Rongrong thought, I'm just here to have fun. Whether I graduate or not isn't necessarily up to Shrek Academy.
Zhu Zhuqing furrowed her brows slightly.
Dai Mubai, Oscar, and Ma Hongjun all thought little of the requirement.
Yu Xiaolong thought, As expected of the legendary Shrek Academy.
As for Xiao Wu, she didn't know a thing.
"Ahem. Don't think the graduation requirements are too strict. You should know that after graduating from our Shrek Academy, you can receive the title of baron from the empire."
"Furthermore, one of our graduates has even become an elder of Spirit Hall, with authority second only to the Pope."
"Really, Dean? Then who's the senior who became an elder of Spirit Hall?" Ma Hongjun asked, looking completely innocent.
As a reincarnated God King, Tang San naturally knew what was going on.
Dai Mubai, Zhu Zhuqing, and Ning Rongrong all came from powerful families, so they understood that Flender was making this up to impress people.
Ma Hongjun and Oscar came from commoner families. They had no real idea what a Spirit Hall elder was, but they knew it had to be someone important, so they watched Flender expectantly.
As a transmigrator, Yu Xiaolong also knew Flender was making it up.
As for Xiao Wu, she didn't know a thing.
At Ma Hongjun's question, Flender's old face turned an awkward red, and he kept coughing.
Seeing this, Yu Xiaolong thoughtfully said, "Spirit Hall elders operate in secret and generally don't like to show themselves. I imagine the dean can't reveal that senior's name."
"Ah, yes, yes, Xiaolong is right."
Tang San thought, Yu Xiaolong, how dare you steal my spotlight? You've got a death wish.
After Ma Hongjun's question, Flender no longer felt like lecturing them. He was mainly afraid someone would ask something else, so he dismissed them to rest.
When lunchtime came, everyone took one look at the food in the cafeteria and was dumbfounded.
As a prince of the Star Luo Empire, Dai Mubai was naturally well-off, so he went out to eat as usual.
As the cherished jewel of the Seven Treasure Glazed Tile Sect, Ning Rongrong was never short of money, so she went out to eat too.
Zhu Zhuqing came from the wealthy Zhu Family of the Star Luo Empire's Nether Duke household. But when she saw how bad the food was, she went straight back to her dorm to cultivate.
Of the only two commoners at Shrek Academy, Oscar and Ma Hongjun, Oscar had his own Big Sausage to keep him fed, while Ma Hongjun went off to the brothels.
Although Tang San came from the Clear Sky Sect, he had no money, so he could only eat in the cafeteria.
As for Xiao Wu, she didn't know a thing.
"What is this stuff? Can you even eat it?" Xiao Wu complained.
"Xiao Wu, don't waste food. Hurry up and eat," Tang San said.
"I know, Brother Three."
Just then, Yu Xiaolong came over to Xiao Wu.
"Sister Xiao Wu, look what I brought you to eat."
"What is it?"
"Green carrots."
"Carrots can be green?"
"Of course they can. See for yourself."
Xiao Wu opened the lunch box Yu Xiaolong had handed her and saw the green carrots. "They really are green carrots, and they even have green leaves on them. They look so fresh. Thank you, Xiaolong," she said with a smile.
"You're welcome, Sister Xiao Wu."
Tang San stared at the green carrot in Xiao Wu's hand, then thought about what was on his own head. His eyes nearly shot flames.
Just then, Xiao Wu plucked the green leaves from the carrot and wove them into a little green hat. She put it on Tang San's head and said:
"Brother Three, this little green hat looks just right on you."
As Tang San's devoted suck-up, Yu Xiaolong naturally had to chime in too. "That's right, Brother Three. That green hat really suits you."
Hearing this, Tang San was so furious he felt his lungs might burst. He clenched his fists so tightly that his fingernails dug deep into his palms.
Just then, Ma Hongjun returned from the brothels and walked into the cafeteria. The moment he saw Tang San, he blurted out, "Brother Three, why are you wearing a green hat?"
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